He shook his head. “No, let’s go. Did you drive here?” He glanced at the nearly empty parking lot.
“No, Addison dropped me off. No air conditioning.” It was a plausible excuse. She didn’t mention that Addison dropping her off was her way of leaving Eliza no way out of talking to him. Best friends can be annoying that way.
“So, how were you going to get home?” A small smile curled up on his face.
“Well, I figured if you kicked me off the ball field, I could always call a cab,” she said, or call Addison sobbing and ask her to pick me up.
He sighed. “Eliza, I wouldn’t kick you off the ball field.”
“Well, that’s good to know.” She tried to be playful, not sure if it was working.
He shook his head, but then smiled, giving her the courage she needed. Their conversation was amiable but strained on the way to the ice cream store. It was the kind of shop where they mixed the toppings in with a ridiculous amount of ice cream on a cold slab to keep everything from melting. Nicolas made faces at her ice cream and topping selection. She failed to see anything wrong with coffee and pistachio. As they settled in to tackle the ice cream, it almost felt natural sitting with him, just being together. She would genuinely miss him if she didn’t go to Princeton. She already did.
“So, you wanted to talk?” Nicolas said during a lull. “If you’re going to say you don’t love me, don’t bother. I got that the first time.” He smiled in a bitter way, and it almost broke her heart. She studied her ice cream, pulling tiny pistachios out one at a time with her spoon.
When she didn’t say anything, he added softly, “I’m kidding. It’s okay, Eliza. I get it. You’re in love with this guy … David.” It seemed difficult for him to say the name. “I don’t like it, but I get it. Just don’t get all jealous on me when I find some brilliant, beautiful college girl at Princeton to fall in love with.” He couldn’t fool her. She could see the pain in his eyes. Well, it was now or never.
“Nicolas, I’m thinking about not going to Princeton.” His eyes went from shock to a knowing look that didn’t think much of her.
“You’re going to be with him, aren’t you?” It was more accusation than a question.
“I haven’t decided yet. I’m going to go out to Monterey Bay to tour the school, the one Addison’s going to.” Her indecision put a spark back in his eyes. “I thought you should know.”
“You want to know what I think? Is that why you’re telling me?” She could guess what he thought of it, of her. She didn’t really want to hear it. When she didn’t respond, he slowly shook his head.
“Eliza, I don’t know who this guy is or what kind of hold he has over you, but I’ve known you for …” he choked up a little, “for a long time, and I thought …” He seemed to lose his words.
“I know.” She dropped her eyes to her hands. “You thought we would be together at Princeton.”
“I’ve been rethinking a lot of things lately.” His sharp tone made her look up, and his eyes had turned cold. “It was a mistake for me to apply to Princeton, to put all that time and energy into it, when I didn’t even know if you wanted me there.” His words sliced through her, not only for disappointing him, but stoking her uncertainty. What if David didn’t want her to come to California?
Nicolas looked satisfied, putting that thought in her head.
“I didn’t know you were thinking that way,” she said. “I guess I should have, but I didn’t. I thought you wanted to go to Princeton because, well, because you wanted to go Ivy League, like me.” She had wanted it, hadn’t she?
“Then how could you give it up? Just like that?” Nicolas asked. She realized he was trying to talk her out of it. “For what? Some guy you barely know?” The coldness in his eyes had melted under that heated temper of his. “C’mon Eliza, don’t make the mistake I did. At least I traded up. If I hadn’t wanted to …” he choked up again, twisting her insides, “be with you so much, I would never have pushed myself. I’m not brilliant like you, Eliza. I had to really work hard, but wanting to be with you drove me, made me better than I would have been otherwise. That’s what love is supposed to be like. It’s supposed to make you better. You shouldn’t have to trade down, be less than you are, just to be with this guy.”
She couldn’t argue with what he was saying, but a part of her got angry every time he called David just a “guy.” He was so much more than that to her. Nicolas was right about one thing, though. She should talk to David. If there was any chance that he didn’t want her to come, she didn’t want to find out like Nicolas did, when it was too late.
“You’re right.” Before he could get too happy about that, she added, “I need to talk to David before I decide about Princeton.” He face turned sour, and she could see the anger coming back. Her ice cream had turned into a small brownish lake in her bowl, and the tornado in her head was spinning again. “I’m sorry, Nicolas, for everything. Can you take me home, please?” She had no energy left for this fight or conversation or whatever they were doing.
He nodded once, and they left their ice cream soup on the table. They didn’t speak on the way to her house. He tried one more time as he was dropping her off.
“Eliza?” he said. “Please think about what you’re doing, okay? Don’t do something you’ll regret. I … I really don’t want you to get hurt.” She could tell he meant it, that he still cared for her, probably still loved her with the tender way he was looking at her.
“Thanks, Nicolas.” She wearily leaned over and gave him a quick hug. He held her a little too long. His sad brown eyes haunted her the rest of the night.
* * *
The last two weeks of boot camp sailed by. What seemed impossible when they first arrived—drills, PT, endless classroom time—was a breeze now. Their Battle Stations training and review had actually been fun—twelve straight hours of hands-on exercises in fire-fighting, damage control, and swimming survival. David was exhausted and exhilarated at the end. When they passed the final inspection, they each received their hats. He put it on, along with his newly pressed dress uniform, and a sailor grinned back at him from the mirror.
After a flurry of out-processing and final pass-in-review, Friday finally arrived. His parents and Tomasz had driven down for graduation, and he would see them after the ceremonies. Tea had arrived early, having no doubt broken all the speeding laws in Wisconsin.
Clayton and David were waiting to meet her at the family visiting area, just before they had to report for final drills. There were dozens of recruits in the large cafeteria, visiting with their families or milling around looking for them. David spied Tea near the door and waved her over. Her thin frame floated across the room, her sundress and blaze of red hair flowing behind her. She had made a concession to the heat by wearing something sleeveless. She always drew the line at shoes and, true to form, was wearing high heeled sandals that made her as tall as him. David was amazed she could glide across a room in shoes that looked designed to cripple. Her clear blue eyes shone as she reached them.
“Hey there, sailor boy!” She threw her arms around him. It felt so good it surprised him.
“Missed you,” he murmured. When he released her, she examined him up and down, making him smile. He was wearing his summer dress whites for graduation, short sleeved and pressed crisp to his RDC’s specifications. Since they were indoors, his hat was in his hand.
“Damn, David, you’re going to give Eliza a heart attack with that!” she said. He couldn’t help but laugh.
Then he remembered his manners. He turned to introduce Clayton and blinked. Clayton was staring open mouthed at Tea, the strangest look of awe on his face. David was so taken aback he stumbled through his introduction.
“Uh, Tea, this is Clayton, my, uh, bunkmate.” David threw him a frown, and Clayton managed to close his mouth. “Uh, Clayton … Tea.”
Dav
id glanced at Tea, and she was busy looking everywhere but at Clayton, finally settling on examining her nails. It was David’s turn to have his mouth hang open. Tea was bubbly and friendly and teasing. Or a fiery ball of anger that would make their mom cringe. She was never shy, and he’d only seen her awkward once, with that guy, Tomasz’s paramedic friend from last year … oh, no.
“Hi,” she said, eyes locked on her nails and one foot tapping inaudibly on the linoleum.
“Uh, hi,” said Clayton, still staring at Tea.
Tea seemed to snap out of it and reached up to tousle David’s ever-lengthening hair. “And that hair!” she said.
“Everyone got theirs cut; I couldn’t help it.” He grinned with relief that she was acting normal again.
“No.” She played with the few strands flopping over on his forehead. “It works for you.”
Clayton seemed to recover as well, regaining that easy smile he always wore. “David, are you sure this is your sister?” he asked, a glint in his eye. David looked at him like he had lost his mind. “Not your step-sister?” Clayton asked. “Maybe your adopted sister?”
David continued to slightly shake his head, thinking Clayton was deranged after all.
Clayton turned to Tea, looking at her through his lashes and drawling, “I’m just having a hard time seeing how you’re related. I mean, she’s amazing and you’re … well, so David.”
David’s mouth hung open again as Tea snickered behind her hand. Clayton grinned at his expense. Wait, Clayton was flirting with his sister! No, no, no.
He slid over to Tea and put his arm protectively around her. “She’s definitely my sister, Lane. Don’t forget it.” He glared at Clayton, but it was nothing compared to the king-sized daggers Tea was glaring at him. What? He couldn’t help shrinking away from her, and Clayton laughed.
This was completely out of control. “We need to get ready for commencement,” David said pointedly at Clayton. “I’ll see you afterward, sis.” Before he could drag Clayton away, Tea piped up. “Are you going to drive to California with us, Clayton?”
“Yes, please,” said Clayton quietly, and the two of them were locked in some kind of stare that was turning David’s stomach into knots. Oh, no. No, no, no!
He grabbed Clayton’s arm and pulled him away from Tea, who just watched them go, like she was mesmerized by Clayton’s stare. When they were out of earshot, he hissed at his friend. “What the hell, Clayton!”
“Huh?” he replied, apparently still dazed by whatever trance he had been trying to put on Tea.
“She’s my sister!” He couldn’t believe Clayton was doing this.
He grinned at David. “Are you sure?”
David glared at him. “Clayton, don’t be using that Southern charm on her.” His big brother protectiveness was in full force now.
Clayton’s eyes went wide. “Do you think she liked it?” he asked, which only made David’s blood boil. Of course she liked it—was he blind? And then he realized, Clayton couldn’t read her, at least not like David could. For once, he had the advantage over Clayton. It was time to use it.
“No,” he said harshly.
Clayton’s face fell. A stab of guilt went through David. He had just lied to his best friend and hurt him on purpose. What kind of a wretch was he?
“Clayton, I’m kidding,” he said quickly. “Tea always loves a good joke at my expense.” Good God, what was he doing?
Clayton brightened. “Yeah, but I couldn’t be sure. I mean, she didn’t even look at me.” He looked back toward Tea, and David had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Clayton and Tea … it was going to be a long drive to California.
* * *
Eliza needed to talk to David, but mostly she listened as he told her how excited he was to come visit, and that he couldn’t wait for her to meet Clayton. She could barely get a word in edgewise, which was just as well. Her mind was filled with voices raging in the war over Eliza’s Future. It would have been comical if it wasn’t driving her crazy.
All week in camp she had been thinking about being a teacher. She wanted to do something that would make a difference in the world. She had had one teacher that had personally ruined chemistry for her—and another who helped her discover her love of classical literature. If she could bring that to a student, open the world up to them, that could make a difference that would last a lifetime. She really loved the little kids—they soaked up her every word—but teaching Literature would be like a dream. By the end of the week, she had zeroed in on some ideas for a major: either English or Education, or both.
The showdown with her mom loomed over her. Mia and Johnny had arrived late last night, fresh in from Idaho. Eliza would have to talk to her tonight, after camp. David was graduating today and arriving tomorrow, so there was no putting it off. He promised to leave early, first thing in the morning, and drive all twenty hours straight through. It boggled her mind that David would arrive on her doorstep tomorrow night.
She gave the kids bittersweet final hugs as she released them to their parents. Addison seemed a little sad, too, but she had an exciting week ahead to prepare for their trip to Monterey Bay. Eliza’s week was exciting for a different, more agonizing, reason.
“You’re talking to your mom, tonight, right?” Addison asked as they drove along the parched suburban streets. It was strange to know that Mia and Johnny would be there when she got home.
“Yeah. Any tips on how to not give my mom an aneurysm?” Her gallows humor was in full bloom.
Addison grimaced. “Call me later?”
“If I don’t, you should check the morgue.”
“Eliza, it’s not going to be that bad. You just have to talk it out with her.”
“Yeah, that’s what you said the last time.” Eliza gave her a half-hearted smile as she climbed out, letting a blast of heat into the car.
Her mom was busying herself in the kitchen, concocting something homemade that was sure to be an improvement over Eliza’s usual cereal-for-dinner routine. She wore her usual checkered apron, slaving over the stove, looking as if she had been here the whole summer.
She hugged her hello. “Mom, we have to talk.”
“Sure, sweetie, what about?” Mia only half paid attention as she stirred a pot of sauce and checked the cookbook.
“Mom, I’ve been thinking about Princeton in the fall—”
Mia interrupted her. “Oh, yeah! Johnny and I were talking, honey, and we think you need a new car. I don’t think your car is going to make to New Jersey.” She turned away from the pot and smiled at Eliza. “Johnny got a bonus from the promoter to do a string of gigs in California, and he wants to buy you a car, sweetie! Isn’t that great?”
Eliza didn’t think it was possible for her to feel more guilt, but it seemed she was wrong. She briefly closed her eyes, steeling her nerves with a deep breath. “Mom, I’m thinking about not going to Princeton in the fall.”
She cringed as she waited for Mia’s reaction.
Her mom stared blankly at her. “What?”
Eliza knew she had heard, but the words apparently made no sense. Eliza was going to have to repeat it, which was worse than saying it the first time.
“I’m thinking about not going to Princeton in the fall.” Her voice was a whisper. Mia shook her head, blinking. The pot was starting to boil. Mia ignored it and crossed the kitchen to sit at the table. She stared into empty space.
“But why?” Mia asked, her eyes finally focusing on Eliza.
“I want to go check out another school, in Monterey Bay—the one where Addison is going.” She came over to sit across from her mom at the table. “David’s will be going to school nearby,” she added quietly, knowing that was the worst part.
Mia’s eyes opened wide, realization finally dawning. “I didn’t know you liked him so much.”
“I love him, Mom.” Eliza had told her multiple times, about the letters and the phone calls, and how hard it was to have him so far away. Her mom was nodding, staring at empty space again. Eliza was waiting for her to fly off the handle, run screaming around the room, but her mom just sat, not speaking. It was unnerving her.
Mia shook her head. “You’ve worked so hard for this, sweetie, and I’m so proud of you.” She finally looked into Eliza’s eyes. “I’d hate to see you give it up and regret it later on.”
Eliza wanted Mia to yell at her. This calm rationality was going to make her come completely unhinged. “I’m afraid … I’m afraid …” God, she couldn’t even form a coherent sentence. “I’m afraid I’ll regret it if I don’t give it a chance—being with David, I mean.”
Her hands were shaking. She had expected to fight with her mom, and here she was melting down into a mess.
“Oh, honey.” Mia laid her hands over Eliza’s, weighing them down and settling them. “David knew you were going to go to Princeton, right? Have you talked to him about it?”
“No.” She fought back the tears. “He’s coming to visit tomorrow, on his way to California.”
Mia’s eyebrows arched up. “Tomorrow? Oh.” Mia thought about this, patting her hands. “Well, you should talk to him about it. If you really want to go to school near him, well, it’s up to you. I’ll support whatever you decide, sweetie.” Eliza’s mouth hung open at this. Why had she expected anything less from her mom? She had always loved and supported Eliza, no matter what. The lump in her throat stopped her from speaking.
Suddenly, Mia brightened. “Maybe you could defer your enrollment for a year. I’ve heard some schools do that. Do you think Princeton would?”
Eliza blinked. Postpone Princeton, rather than give it up entirely? It was like an escape hatch opening up in front of her. She stared at Mia. “Mom, that’s a terrific idea. I don’t know if I could get a deferral, but maybe …”
“Then,” her mother reasoned, “you could have some time to see if things are going to work out with you and David.”
Life, Liberty, and Pursuit Page 24
