by Sam Short
I slowed the boat as we approached the gap in the trees, and steered the bow slowly into the entrance, putting the gearbox in reverse to slow our momentum as we made contact with the bank. I turned the engine off and whispered to the others. "Get off the boat," I said. 'You tie the stern rope, Willow, and I'll do the bow."
The four of us climbed off the boat, Boris making a graceful leap ashore that even under the dangerous circumstances impressed me. Rosie decided the roof was a better option for her, and leapt onto it, licking her paw and watching us curiously.
Willow tied off the stern rope, and I walked to the front of the boat as casually as I could, incase Jason was watching me through a window. I had considered leaving the bow rope untied, but narrowboats had a habit of breaking away from their moorings if both ropes weren't securing them to the bank. Even though my boat couldn't have floated onto the main body of the canal, it would have made the police's job harder when they finally arrived.
A loud yapping sound echoed around the clearing, and Boris looked up in shock as Mabel sprinted over the grass towards him. "What on earth?" he said, backing away from the blur of white that approached him.
"It's okay," said Willow, 'it's only Mabel."
"Gladys told me about her," said Boris, "but seeing her in real life is vastly different than how I imagined."
Mabel ran at Boris, but Boris lowered his head and threatened her with his horns. "I've got no time for your nonsense, goose dog," he shouted. "We need to make good our escape!"
Mabel backed down as Boris charged her, and ran towards the front of the boat in panic, whining, yapping, and flapping her wings.
"No, Mabel!" I shouted, as the scared bird leapt onto the bow deck and scurried into the shop through the doors that Boris had left open.
"Get off me!" came a man's voice. "Get off!"
The boat rocked a little, and Mabel's vicious growls increased in volume.
"Get off me or I'll hurt you!"
"What do we do?" said Susie. "We can't rescue Mabel, the man in the boat is a murderer!"
Boris stamped his hooves. "Nobody's harming a fellow magical animal on my watch!" he yelled. Grass and mud flew from beneath his hooves as he sped towards the front of the boat. He leapt onto the bow deck, slipping as he attempted to take the tight turn through the open doors, and threw himself down the steps.
"Unhand that goose, you cad!" he shouted as he disappeared from view, the clacking of his hooves on wood echoing through the clearing.
"We have to help!" I shouted, sprinting alongside the boat and clambering aboard.
The man shouted again, this time with fear apparent in his voice. "Help! What are you? What are you? No! Please don't bite me there!"
He screamed, and the pain in his voice made me wince. I jumped down the steps into the boat with Willow and Susie close behind me, and took stock of what was happening.
Jason's feet kicked and scraped along the floor as Boris dragged him from behind the small plywood counter, his teeth buried deep in the murder suspect's crotch, and Mabel sitting on his back, flapping her wings and growling. Downy feathers fluttered in the air around the goose, and she jabbed her beak in Jason's direction as Boris pulled him from his hiding place.
Stock fell from my shelves as the man struggled, and his screams of pain hurt my ears in the confined space.
"Boris! Leave him!" I shouted. I was sure I'd read that a man could die from a severe injury in the area that Boris was attacking. "You'll kill him!"
Boris relented a little, visibly relaxing his grip on the man's jeans.
"Will you stay where you are until the police get here if the goat let's go?" I said.
Willow grabbed an athame from a shelf and pointed it at the man. "I'll stab you if you try anything," she threatened.
The ritual witchcraft knife glinted in the dim light from the shelf covered windows and the doorway behind me, and Jason nodded frantically. "Yes!" he squealed, his voice far too high for such a muscle bound badboy. "Call him off!"
"Let him go, Boris," I ordered, "let's see what he's got to say for himself, starting with why he's on my boat."
Boris released the man and took a half step backwards. "I've got my eye on you," he warned. "If you make any funny moves I'll bite you so hard you'll be able to shatter glass with your voice."
"The goat's talking," the man said in horror. "The goat's talking to me."
"Nonsense," I said, winking at Boris, who acknowledged the message with a nod of his head. "You're hallucinating because of the pain you're in. Goat's can't talk, but you can, and you're going to answer some questions." The man nodded again, his thick tattooed arms between his thighs, his hands clutching his manhood. I continued. "What are you doing on my boat, and why did you murder Sam Hedgewick?"
He groaned as he held his crotch. "I'm on your boat because I heard the police arriving at the show. I've been living in a tent at the car show since the police started looking for me. Look at the state of me — I haven't had a change of clothes in days."
He certainly looked disheveled, and it explained why he'd looked so run down when I'd encountered him at the top of the footpath. His jeans were muddy, and his crumpled t-shirt hung limply from his large frame.
"Why my boat?" I said. "And how did you break in? The doors were locked."
He scrambled a few inches away from Boris. "It was the only boat that was hidden. It was at the end of the row and nobody could see me getting onto it. You should remember to lock the shutters on the side of the boat as well as the doors."
The last time I'd opened the shutters was during the barbecue. I made a mental note to check they were locked every time I left the boat.
Sirens wailed in the distance, and Boris snorted. Mabel flapped her wings and growled, and Jason squeezed his thighs together protectively.
"The goat talks and the goose is a dog," Jason mumbled. "What's going on here?"
"I'm asking the questions," I said. "Why did you kill Sam? The police know you did it. You'd better get used to small spaces like this, you'll be spending a long time in one."
Jason made a strangled sound in his throat. "I didn't kill Sam," he sobbed. "I wouldn't have harmed a hair on his head."
"You killed him because he owed you money," said Susie. "A gambling debt. We know all about you. One of our friends is a policeman, and he told us you've got a violent history and a warrant out for your arrest."
“I’ve done things I'm ashamed of," said Jason. "But I would never have hurt Sam. He helped me change who I was. We were moving abroad together so we could both have a new start. I loved Sam, I loved him so much."
He broke down into loud body shaking sobs, and I used a gentler voice as I spoke. "So you're the woman he was leaving his wife for, although obviously you're not a woman."
The police sirens got louder and then stopped. They'd arrived. It would take them less than a minute to run to my boat.
"She'd been cheating on him for years," Jason said, tears streaming down his cheeks. "When Sam couldn't pay his debt to me, I took pity on him and we became close. Sam wanted to sell everything he owned so we could buy a vineyard in Spain." His sobs got louder. "We were going to make wine! Sam loved Tempranillo!"
"Why did you stay in the area when you knew the police were after you?" I asked. "You could have been miles away by now."
He fixed me with an angry stare. "I wanted to stay around until the police found out who killed Sam. Whoever did it will wish they'd never been born when I get my hands on them."
I considered getting Granny's spell book and quickly learning a truthfulness spell, but it wasn't needed. I was convinced that Jason was telling the truth.
I looked at the door as a voice outside shouted my name. It was Barney. "Penny! Penny! Where are you?" he yelled.
"We're in here!" shouted Susie, poking her head through the doorway. "We're okay!"
Boris," I said, "take Mabel into my bedroom. I don't want her attacking anyone else."
Boris pushed through th
e purple room dividing curtain, and Mabel happily rode him, looking more content than she had for a long time. It seemed she'd found a new friend.
Heavy boots thudded on the boat's decking, and Barney appeared in the doorway with his nightstick in his hand. "You, stay still!" he shouted at Jason. Bone cracked on wood as he hit his head on the doorway, and he cursed as he came to my side. "Are you okay? Penny," he asked, grabbing me in a firm hug.
I waited until he'd released me, and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm okay,” I said. "We all are."
Sergeant Cooper stepped down into the shop and tripped on the bottom step. He hit the floor with a heavy thump and groaned.
"Are you hurt, sarge?" said Barney, going to his aid.
“I’m fine, Dobkins," he barked, getting to his knees. "Arrest that man!"
Barney handcuffed Jason, who was still crying, and read him his rights.
"I don't think he did it," I said.
Willow agreed. "I don't either."
Sergeant Cooper stood up. "And who do you two think you are, bloody Cagney and Lacey? Leave the police work to us, and you carry on selling this cheap tat." He kicked a wand and sent it skidding beneath a shelf unit.
Barney span on the spot, his face crimson with rage. "Don't you speak to them like that!" he yelled. "Say what you want to me, but if you ever speak to Penelope or her sister like that again, I'll lose my job because of what I'll do!"
I'd never seen Barney so angry, and pride swelled in my chest.
Sergeant Cooper opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. He turned away from us and began making his way up the steps. He paused and glanced over his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said, looking at me and Willow. "That was highly unprofessional of me. It's been a busy day, and I've been under a lot of pressure trying to catch that man. PC Dobkins, make sure your friends are okay and then bring the suspect out."
Barney calmed down as quickly as he'd exploded. "I will, Sarge," he said, "and I'm sorry too. It's been a stressful day for us all."
Sergeant Cooper shook his head. "Sometimes people like me need reminding of a few things. I respect you for your honesty, Barney."
"He's never called me by my first name before," said Barney, as Sergeant Cooper stepped off the boat.
The handcuffs jangled as Jason got to his knees. "There was a talking goat," he said. "He bit me in the family jewels."
Barney clicked the button on his radio. "Can we get a drug testing kit ready for the prisoner, please?" he said.
"Affirmative," came the crackling reply of a woman.
Barney placed an arm under Jason's armpit and helped him to his feet. "Come on, let's get you down the station," he said. "You've got a lot to answer for."
"Barney," I said in a low voice. "I really don't think he did it."
"We'll find out soon enough, Penny," Barney said, guiding Jason to the steps. "He'll be questioned as soon as I get him back to the nick."
Susie, Willow, and I, followed Barney and Jason up the steps, and stood on the decking watching as the prisoner was escorted up the footpath with a policeman on either side of him.
"If he didn't do it," Susie said. "There's still a murderer on the loose."
"The police will find out soon enough," said Willow. "Who knows — maybe Jason's just a really good liar — there's still a chance he did it."
Boris’s voice came from inside the boat. "Penelope," he said. "I'm looking at all the things that have been knocked off your shop shelves in the struggle, and there's a few items I'd like to buy for Gladys."
"Of course," I said, stepping down into the shop and joining Boris in the mess of stock that littered the floor. "Granny would appreciate a present. No charge though, Boris. Just take what you like."
"I'll hear no such thing!" protested Boris. "You don't run a business by giving things away. Of course, one of you will have to loan me some money until Gladys can go to a ATM machine for me."
When the shop had been tidied, and any broken stock reluctantly thrown in the bin, Susie fulfilled her promise of driving Boris back to Granny's and led him up the footpath to the car park.
He'd have quite a story to tell Granny when he got home, and in the backpack he'd put the gifts he'd chosen for her — a witch themed mug, a bumper sticker for her car, and a small metal tin that Boris said would be ideal for the mints Granny enjoyed sucking on.
Mabel watched on forlornly as her new friend left with Susie, and Rosie stood a few feet behind her, beginning to gain confidence now she'd seen that Boris trusted the goose.
Willow and I went inside and opened a bottle of wine. We deserved a drink, and Willow balanced her half full glass on her knee as she phoned Mum to explain what had happened, and to tell her she'd be staying on my boat again for the night.
"Mum wants us to have breakfast with her tomorrow," said Willow as she finished the call. She took a long sip of wine and gazed out of the window at the water and trees. "She also suggested I move onto your boat as I seem to be here more than at home." She took another sip of wine and smiled at me. "That's not such a bad idea, is it?"
Chapter Eighteen
A pair of hands carrying a tray laden with croissants, muffins, and crumpets appeared through the shimmering sheet of blue that filled the doorway. The rest of Mum emerged through the light, and the spell fizzled out, returning the doorway to its intended function — an entrance to the lounge, and not a portal to a magical realm.
It was Mum's second trip to the haven in the space of ten minutes, and the kitchen table was laden with food prepared by Aunt Eva. "She's got the cooking bug again," explained Mum. "But this feast is to congratulate you for catching a murderer. She's very proud, she says bravery runs in our family."
"We didn't really catch him," I said. "He caught himself by stowing aboard my boat, and as we've already told you, we don't think he's guilty."
"That's not what it says in the newspaper," said Mum, laying the tray on the table. "Unless you're calling your friend a liar. It was Susie that wrote the article, and she was on the boat with you. I think she knows what happened."
"She's just reporting what the police are saying," Willow said, her hand hovering over a plate laden with crumpets. "She has to. It's her job."
"Where is she anyway?" said Mum, sitting down. "Eva made this breakfast for her too."
"The police are holding a full press conference," I said. "Barney's making sure she gets a front row seat."
"I hope the police commend you all on your courage," said Mum. "Although the whole incident yesterday has just made me all the more nervous about you living on that boat, Penelope. I mean, if a murderer can just sneak aboard, then you're hardly safe, are you?"
"I'd rather forget about the whole thing for now, and eat," said Willow, saving me from another of Mum's lectures, although I had to agree with her about my safety. It had been quite unnerving to find out how simple it had been for someone to break into my home and business.
"Eat what you can," said Mum. "I'll put the rest in Tupperware boxes and take some to your grandmother now I've got my car back. I need an excuse to go and visit her. She's still ignoring my phone calls, and I caught her watching me through her binoculars this morning. Nosy old thing that she is."
"You caught her watching you through her binoculars, how exactly?" said Willow, buttering a hot crumpet. She reached for the pot of plum jam. "While you were spying on her through your telescope by any chance?"
"It's my job to keep an eye on her!" snapped Mum. "She's elderly, and she has witch dementia. It's a daughter's duty to look after her mother. Especially in times of illness." She pressed two slices of freshly baked buttered bread together, sandwiching three slices of crispy bacon between them. "She has no need to be watching me, though! She should respect my privacy."
I waved my hand over the muffin on my plate. "There's a spell on this muffin," I said, impressed with how much progress I'd made with my magic over the previous few days. "But it's only one to help it rise in the oven. It's sa
fe for me to eat."
Mum's eyes showed she was equally impressed. "Since when have you been able to do that, Penelope?" she said, staring at me. "The magic in that blueberry muffin is ancient haven magic. It should be well beyond your capability to detect it."
"Let's just say that Willow and I have been practising like you wanted us to," I said. "The days of you and Aunt Eva magically conspiring to stop me living on my boat are over."
Mum feigned shock, but not very well. "I'm glad that you've both been practicing," she said, "it makes my heart happy to hear that, but I'm hurt that you think I've been conspiring against you, Penelope. Those other spells were Eva's doing, not mine. To imagine that you think that poorly of me. Oh my!"
I bit into my muffin. "Okay, Mum. It wasn't you. I get it. I'll never mention it again."
Mum nodded. "Good. That's the ticket! Anyway, if anyone's conspiring, it's that grandmother of yours. I saw her driving that goat somewhere yesterday morning. She even put it in the front seat with a seat belt on!"
"Safety first," I said.
"Boris is a goat, Penelope! Goats shouldn't want to get into a car! Then I saw her coming home a couple of hours later without him, but she had shopping bags from that computer shop in Covenhill." Mum licked some bacon grease from her top lip and continued. "You tell me why she needs a computer! She specifically told me that computers were a way for the government to control us. That's why I've never bought one, and I really wanted one too."
"What do you want a computer for, Mum?" said Willow.
"One of the ladies at the Wickford rose and geranium fancier's club mentioned she can get all the music she wants on hers," Mum said. "When your dad left me, he took all my Lionel Richie records with him." Mum gazed upwards, with a twinkle in her eye. "I was so in love with that man at one time. He was my everything."
"Don't waste your emotions on that waste of skin," I spat. “Dad cheated on you and spent all your money. He spent no time with me and Willow, and he never looked for a job! You should be happy he left with that woman, Mum!"
