by Sam Short
“That’s good though isn’t it?” said Susie. She looked at Boris. “You want your old life back, don’t you?”
“Truth be told,” said Boris, “not just yet. I’m happy, and as Gladys said — we want to go on holiday, and we’ve paid for one adult and one well behaved pet. That’s me by the way.”
“I’m sure they mean dogs,” I said. “Not goats.”
“Well they should check their small print in the brochure,” said Granny. “It says pets not dogs, and anyway, Boris is far more well behaved than any dog could ever be.”
Boris puffed out his chest. “I try my best,” he said.
“You could go as Charleston, Boris,” said Willow. “You could go on the holiday in your human body.”
Granny sucked in air and shuddered. “Share a caravan with another man! Norman would turn in his grave. Rest his soul. No, Boris and I will go as we are. We’re driving to Wales in the Range Rover next week, and we’re going to have a wonderfully restful holiday. When we get back we’ll further discuss curing my dementia.”
“And find out what favour Maeve wants from Barney,” said Susie.
Willow nodded. “Imagine what we can do with those clogs. Maeve said any mortal can get into the haven with them, so that means you can go too, Susie, and me — even if I haven’t got my entry spell. We can all go to the City of Shadows. Together. It’ll be an adventure!”
“Do you think Barney will agree to go?” said Susie. “He looked a little terrified today to be honest. I don’t think he’s processed the whole magic thing very well yet.”
“He’s not used to it, Susie,” I said. “He’s only known that magic exists for a few days, you’ve known for twelve years. I think he’s doing very well, and I’m sure he’ll be happy to come to the haven.”
“You’ll find out soon enough,” said Granny. “If Maeve and the copper haired — I mean Derek, think it’s fate that led us all to where we are today, then I can only imagine that the favour they want from Barney is a big one. Fate wouldn’t interfere in trivial matters.”
I sipped my wine and smiled. “Well, let’s wait and see what fate has in store for us next,” I said. “I can’t wait to find out.”
The End
Copyright © 2017 by Sam Short
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
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For Mum and Alan. Thank you for everything - I love you both more than words could ever say.
Chapter One
Rosie purred and curled into a tight ball on my lap as Mabel the goose gave a low growl and lifted her head in response to an owl’s hoot which echoed over the water outside.
“You don’t own the canal,” laughed Willow, placing a hand on the goose’s back. “There’s plenty of room for other animals here too. Quieten down.”
I studied the goose. Or dog — depending on how you perceived the situation. The white bird had been made to think she was a dog when my grandmother had accidentally cast a spell on her. My sister and I had become accustomed to welcoming the goose aboard the boat we lived on together, for affection or scraps of food. It would be odd to see her acting like a normal goose again if Granny decided to take the potion she’d been gifted by another witch. The potion would cure her rather serious case of witch dementia and reverse any disastrous spells she’d cast while her magic had been affected. Mabel the goose was a lovely creature, but I supposed she’d be happier when she was a normal bird again and not some sort of hybrid creature with a beak and wings who cocked her leg when she went to the toilet.
Granny would be returning to Wickford in the morning, along with Boris the enchanted goat. They’d been on holiday together in Wales for a week, and I dreaded to think how an elderly witch and a sixty-something year old Chinese acupuncturist — trapped in the body of a goat by another of Granny's errant spells — could possibly have lived together peacefully in a caravan for seven days. As Willow had pointed out though — we’d seen nothing on the TV news or read anything in the newspapers, so if Granny and Boris had drawn any attention to themselves, at least they’d managed to keep themselves away from any media attention.
Willow stood up and made her way through the narrow canal boat. “Hot chocolate?” she offered, standing in the galley kitchen. “It’ll help us sleep. I don't know about you, but I can’t wait for tomorrow. I’m as excited as I used to be when Mum took us on holiday when we were little!”
I smiled. The trip was hardly going to be a holiday, but I understood what she meant. Tomorrow was going to be a big day. Maeve — the powerful witch who’d conjured up the magical dimension known as The Haven, had asked for the help of my policeman boyfriend, Barney. It was unprecedented that a mortal person be allowed to cross from our world into The Haven, but Maeve had said the problem she needed help with could not be solved by magic. She needed the help of an old fashioned mortal policeman. “I am excited,” I admitted. “Even more so since I found out Mum’s arranged with Maeve that we can take the boat into The Haven. The Water Witch has been moored up for too long, she deserves a nice cruise.”
Willow nodded her agreement and repeated her offer of hot chocolate, a carton of milk in one hand and her other hand on a shapely hip.
I nodded. “Make mine very milky, please,” I said as my sister lit the gas stove and began heating milk in a small pan. She added chocolate powder to the milk and the boat filled with the complimentary aromas of burning gas and warm chocolate. I sighed and stroked Rosie. Living on a canal narrowboat with my sister was awesome at the best of times — but when it was dark outside and we sat next to one another on the small sofa drinking late-night hot chocolate — life was as near to perfect as I could imagine. It would have been nice to have Barney next to me too, but inviting Barney to stay on the boat overnight wouldn’t have been fair to my sister. Willow had only moved aboard a few weeks ago — before Barney and I were an item. Giving Willow the space and privacy I’d promised her when I’d invited her to move aboard with me was the right thing to do. Anyway, she’d have to get used to a crowded boat for the foreseeable future. Barney, Mum, Granny and Boris were all joining us the following day as we took the boat into The Haven. I hadn’t worked out exactly where everyone would sleep, but I’d already resigned myself to the fact that my bed would be handed over to Granny. She might have acted like she was still in her teens, but she was way past the age I’d expect anyone to sleep on furniture which folded down into a makeshift bed.
Willow carefully poured the drinking chocolate into two mugs and passed me one as she sat down. She pointed at the pair of wooden clogs on the dinette table. “They don’t look very powerful, do they?” she said.
The clogs were a magical artefact that allowed anybody to enter The Haven — even a mortal with no magical powers, but Willow was right — they didn’t look very impressive.
I laughed. “No, but then again, Granny doesn’t look very powerful either, but she’s managed to cause havoc throughout her lifetime!”
Willow snorted as she laughed, and squealed as the hot liquid in her mouth dribbled down her chin. “Ow! I burnt my lip!”
I clicked my fingers and cast a minor healing spell.
“Wow,” said Willow, touching her lip and sounding as impressed as I felt. “You’re turning into a magical dynamo! You stopped the burning.”
I’d been studying the big spell book that Granny had given Willow and me, but even I was impressed at how much I’d learnt in such a short time. I wasn’t big-headed though, and certainly didn’t think of myself as a dynamo of any type — let alone a magical one. “That spell’s pretty easy to be honest,” I lied. “You could learn to cast it in no time at all.”
It hadn’t been easy to learn. As Granny had told me — spells which change the physical biology of a human
being or animal were the hardest to master. I’d had a few mishaps attempting to learn the healing spell, including growing an extra toe which had throbbed with as much pain as the toe I’d stubbed and was attempting to heal. I didn’t tell her, but the spell which I’d just cast on my sister was my first successful attempt at a healing spell.
Willow drained the last of her drinking chocolate and stretched her arms towards the low ceiling. “I’m ready for bed,” she said through a yawn.
I was tired too and I was certain that the next day would demand I was well rested. “Me too,” I acknowledged. “I’ll let you use the bathroom first, you look even more tired than I feel.”
When we’d both cleaned our teeth, and Willow had applied the moisturiser she insisted on using every night — even though her skin had always been smoother than a Frenchman’s chat up lines — we went to our bedrooms at opposite ends of the boat. I opened the doors that led from my room to the bow decking and knew that Willow would be opening the doors that led from her room onto the stern decking. It was a warm night, and there’s something truly beautiful about falling asleep with a breeze on your face and listening to the splashes and calls of the nocturnal canal wildlife. Sleep came quickly, and I dreamed of navigating The Water Witch along the rivers of The Haven as we made our way to The City of Shadows and whatever mystery Maeve required help in solving.
Being woken by a tall ginger haired man, grinning inanely, and wearing a policeman's uniform, is not everyone’s idea of the perfect start to the day, but as Barney gave me a kiss and handed me a steaming mug of black coffee, I was as content as I’d ever been.
“Breakfast’s on,” said Barney, quite unnecessarily — my nose was already twitching as the salty aroma of frying bacon reached my bedroom. “Willow’s gone to the shop to make sure it’s locked and secure, and your grandmother and Boris are waiting for your mother to finish cooking breakfast. We’re all set to go!”
I looked Barney up and down. “Why the uniform? We’re going to The Haven, you can wear whatever clothes you like — you’re not on official Wickford police business.”
“Gladys said it would be best if I arrived in uniform,” said Barney. “She thinks it will give me some credentials and authority. I’ve packed a suitcase full of other clothes too — don’t worry.”
Granny had a valid point. If Barney was to gain the trust of the magical community in The Haven, and have them accept him as a figure of authority, it was best that he at least looked the part. I sipped my coffee and squeezed his hand. “And you look so handsome in your uniform too, so there is that added bonus,” I said.
Barney raised an eyebrow. “You’ve always said my trousers were too short.”
I laughed. He was right. I had said that — and meant it, but Barney was so tall that the police uniform department didn’t stock a pair of trousers which fitted him correctly. It was hard to get any clothes that fitted him well. As well as being extremely tall, Barney was thin for his height. Not too thin, but a few extra pounds around his waist and a few inches of additional width across his shoulders would have allowed clothes to fit him, rather than hang off him. I smiled at him. “You look extremely handsome in your uniform,” I said. “Now go and sit with the others while I get dressed. I won’t be long.”
I listened to Barney laughing with my family as I got dressed, and joined them on the shore just as Mum brought out plates of food and a large teapot adorned with a colourful knitted tea-cosy. The teapot was from the boat’s kitchen, but I’d never seen the cosy before. I knew that when Mum packed to go away, she liked to pack as many home comforts as she could fit in her suitcase. I guessed that somewhere amongst her luggage would be a Lionel Richie CD and possibly even a full set of silver cutlery.
I hugged Granny and tickled Boris behind one of his horns as I took a seat at the picnic table next to Barney. Boris grunted a good morning and Granny reached across the table and squeezed my hand in hers. “Hi, sweetheart,” she said. “It’s lovely to see you. Ignore Boris’s grunting. He’s in a foul mood today.”
“What’s wrong with you, Boris?” I asked. “It’s not like you to be in a bad mood.”
The goat looked up at me. “Let’s just say that your grandmother has a heavy foot, Penelope. She sped all the way home from Wales, and it was through good luck and not through any skill on her behalf that we didn’t die in a fiery car wreck. I’m still trembling inside, Penelope — it will be nice to spend a few days cruising slowly along rivers in your boat.”
Granny smiled. “You bought me a powerful Range Rover, Boris. If you think I’m going to potter about in it you’ve got another thing coming. I intend to make that bitch burn rubber!”
Barney cleared his throat. “It’s probably not a good idea to admit to a speeding offence while you’re in my company, Gladys. I am an officer of the law after all.”
Granny fixed Barney with a stare that made the policeman gulp. “I dare you, Barney Dobkins! I double dare you to even suggest that you’ll do so much as tell me what the speed limit on the motorway is. Go on, Barney… I’ll bloody —”
“That’s enough!” barked Mum. “We’ll have no language like that at the breakfast table. We’re all about to take a trip together on a small boat, so I suggest we learn to be polite to one another!” She turned her attention to Barney, and frowned. “But seriously, Barney. No one likes a grass. What were you thinking?”
Barney nodded and dropped his gaze. “It was habit,” he said. “But it’s hard to listen to people telling me they’ve committed crimes, especially crimes which could hurt somebody else.” He looked at Granny. “Try and keep the speed down okay? I don’t want to be called out to a car wreck one day and find you at the wheel. That’s all.”
Granny raised an eyebrow and sipped her tea, but said nothing.
Willow chose the opportune moment to emerge at the bottom of the path which led to the magic shop we ran together. She broke the silence with a shout and gave us a cheery wave. “Save some bacon for me, I’m hungrier than ten men on a diet!” she demanded.
Mum spoke under her breath. “How she keeps that figure is a mystery to me,” she said. “She eats more than I did at her age and I had a heck of a job keeping the pounds off.”
Granny gave a laugh which echoed across the canal and startled a moorhen. It flapped its way through a vibrant raft of lily-pads and sought refuge in the slender reeds which covered the opposite bank. “You were a little fatty from the day you could say food, Maggie! It’s no mystery that you couldn’t keep the pounds off. The only mystery is how I managed to find clothes to fit you!” she said.
Barney gulped.
Boris snorted.
Granny laughed again, and Mum shook her head. “Your parenting skills are second to none, Mother,” she said, buttering herself two thick slices of bread and sandwiching four crispy bacon rashers between them. “But you do make a good point. I have always enjoyed my food.”
Willow took a seat at the table and helped herself to breakfast. She watched mum bite into the sandwich and lick her lips. “Mum!” she said. “You’re eating outside and there are insects everywhere!”
Mum smiled. “You can thank Boris for that,” she said, speaking as she chewed. “He worked really hard to get me to where I am today. He’s a fine psychologist, and an even finer friend.”
The man trapped inside Boris the goat’s body was an Oxford educated gentleman who had done many things in his life, including almost finishing a psychology course. He’d offered to help mum overcome her fear of eating outside when insects were present, and as mum took another bite of her sandwich and waved a fat dragonfly from her face, it seemed that he’d accomplished what he’d set out to do.
“I was happy to help,” said Boris, “phobias can be awful to live with, but are often surprisingly easy to cure. Yours was a simple case, Maggie.” He looked at The Water Witch. “Are we leaving soon?” he said, “I’m considerably excited about visiting The Haven. It sounds so perfectly wonderful, and maybe I’ll find
out more about who I am whilst I’m there.”
Boris, or Charleston to be precise, had recently found out that he came from a family of witches — a secret which had been hidden from him by his family. We weren’t sure if he possessed the gift of magic, and we wouldn’t know until Granny had cured her dementia and put Charleston’s mind back into his own body, but a trip to the haven might be beneficial nonetheless.
I wiped my greasy hands on a paper towel. “We’ll leave soon,” I said. “Uncle Brian and Susie will be on the bridge at half past nine. They’ll wave us forward when there are no people or cars nearby. Then I’ll open the portal and the bridge will become our way into The Haven!”
“Brian should be on the boat with us,” said Granny. “Not on look out duty. He’s far more important than that.”
“Brian wanted to stay,” said Mum. “He’s focusing on opening his business, remember?”
Granny narrowed her eyes and her purple glasses threatened to slide from the bridge of her nose. “Did you put sarcastic emphasis on the word business, my dear? Because if you did, I’ll enjoy hearing why, you jealous upstart.”
Mum sighed. “My brother is pretending to be a hypnotherapist and using magic to help people break their bad habits. It’s a very dubious business model if you ask me.” Mum looked at Barney. “What do you think, Police Constable Dobkins? Surely it’s illegal too? Gaining money by misrepresentation, or something like that?”
Barney blushed for the first time that day. Barney had a problem with blushing, but even I’d have blushed — or withered — under the gaze which Granny had fixed him with “Well?” she said. “Is what my first born is doing illegal, young man?”
Barney slumped in his seat. “I don’t know! Probably, but there are no laws regarding magic in the British legal system. We used to have laws a long time ago, but the outcome was always miserable for the witches involved. It usually ended up in a drowning or a burning at the stake.”
