This Loving Feeling (A Mirror Lake Novel)

by Miranda Liasson

  “Did you feed him that script?” Lukas raised a brow.

  “I swear on my mother’s Bible that those words came out of his very own mouth.”

  “Sure did,” seconded Gertie.

  Lukas often thought he was alone in the world but maybe he wasn’t. The people here helped him for a reason—not because they wanted something from him but because they were good people who were trying to prevent him from screwing up. Whether they were scheming and conniving or not.

  “What time is it, anyway?” Lukas asked, scrubbing a hand through his hair.

  “Four o’clock,” Mrs. P. said.

  “Think we can get to the tux shop before it closes?”

  “Oh, thank the Lord,” Mrs. P. said, sighing heavily. “Now I can change out of this black. It’s not flattering on me at all.”

  “What’s a tux?” Stevie asked.

  Lukas grinned. “Something Sammy’s going to love.”

  “Hey, Ms. Rushford,” Cal said, making his way through the massive theater lobby, which was teeming with people on one very busy Saturday night. Cal wore black pants and a white dress shirt with a black bow tie and carried a bottle of wine. At his elbow, Leo appeared holding a tray over one shoulder loaded with clear plastic drink cups half-full of wine.

  “I know the wine glasses never made it but we sent Denise and Katie to Sam’s Club and found these. Not bad, huh?” Cal picked up one of the fat little drink cups and examined it.

  She was about to tell them she wasn’t sure if eighteen year olds were allowed to serve wine. And warn them not to get plastered. And ten other admonitions that wavered on the tip of her tongue. But something held her back. It was the look in their eyes. They looked . . . proud. Concerned—for her. And they were smiling. Cal cleared his throat.

  “We want you to know everything’s under control, see? Mr. Rushford brought in all the hors d’oeuvres and showed us how to carry them and the student band is setting up in the corner and . . . and everything’s going to be just great.”

  She didn’t usually touch students but she grasped each one by the arm. “Thank you. Thank you so, so much.”

  “We’re going to make this work,” Leo said.

  “We are making it work,” Teddy Lawrence said, carrying a tray of cake balls. He gave Sam a side hug and lightly smacked Cal’s wrist for sneaking one. “Hey, no eating the cake balls, you hear? I swear, these kids don’t realize they’re handling artwork.” He shot Cal a look.

  “Just two, okay?” Cal said. “They were delicious. I couldn’t help it.”

  “Teddy,” Sam said. “Thank you.” She looked around the lobby, which was built to look like a grand palatial entrance, with soaring ceilings and ornate walls decorated with intricate plaster designs painted blue, clay-colored, green, and yellow. Her students had draped lengths of silver tulle over the bannister of the grand staircase, hung shimmering cardboard stars on the walls, and had even hung them around the necks of some of the fancy marble statues.

  The finishing touch was a giant hanging mobile of stars and planets suspended from the ceiling. “How did you—”

  “Mr. Wolensky did it,” Cal said.

  “Wow. It’s fabulous.” She waved to more of her students, who were serving the hors d’oeuvres from Brad’s restaurant, and a large crowd was milling about enjoying the grand lobby and having a great time.

  “We sold every ticket,” Effie said proudly. “All thirty-five hundred seats are filled.”

  “Impressive,” Sam said. Of course, they were still short the last two million bucks to get the matching state funds. She could only pray that some wealthy donors would come forward tonight to make up the difference. But if not, she would find some way to get that money—write grants, politick, send letters, go door-to-door. They’d come this far, and she was not going to let her town down. Everyone she knew was here, helping out. Giving her their all. Her wonderful students, family, and friends. No matter how broken her heart was, she would smile until her jaw was numb and give them her all.

  “Have you been to the restroom yet?” Effie asked.

  “No, wh—oh. You saw your portrait. How’s it look?”

  “Well, you didn’t make me look younger but I must say, it’s quite lovely. I’ve been standing by it telling everyone how talented my granddaughter is. I’m very proud of you, Samantha.”

  Sam hugged her grandmother. “I learned from the best.”

  Jess cruised by. “Are you all right?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” she said. “I am. How can I not be when everyone’s been so wonderful?”

  “I’m sorry about Lukas.” Jess gave her a squeeze.

  “Me too.”

  “Maybe you two can still work it out.”

  Sam shrugged. “He left. But thanks.”

  Evan, who was wearing—my gosh—a tux, joined them. His hair was cut and tamed. Jess smoothed it and his lapels. “Did you see the planetary mobile suspended from the ceiling?” she asked proudly. “Evan and his students made that.”

  “It’s to scale,” he said, looking very pleased.

  Sam smiled. “It’s incredible. How did you suspend it? I mean, this ceiling’s higher than the cathedral’s.”

  “The magic of physics,” he said proudly.

  “Magical,” Jess said, looking starry-eyed. “Completely magical.”

  “Would you ladies like some wine?” Evan asked.

  “We’d love some,” Jess said. As soon as he was out of earshot, she grabbed Sam by the elbow. “We’re dating,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to upset you, but I’m so excited. He’s nice, Sam. I really, really like him. And to think I never would have given him a second look. Thank goodness he gave me a second chance.”

  “I love Evan . . . But Jess, tell me you’re not taking up French poetry or studying physics or something like that.”

  “Nope. But I did take him shopping to get a few things at the Gap. And he’s a runner like me, and you would not believe the bod he was hiding under those ugly clothes. He just needed a little style help to bring out the sexy.”

  Sam smiled. “I’m really happy for you.” It wasn’t a lie. Someone should be happy around here, right?

  “What about your second chance? With Lukas?”

  “Didn’t work out,” she said. “But it’s okay.” She’d survive. With the help of her wonderful friends and family.

  The overhead lights blinked a few times, signaling the crowd to take their seats. Sam started up the grand staircase, waving and chatting to everyone she knew before walking down the aisle to take her seat in the front row next to Brad. She could do this. For the next couple of hours she could smile and be social and brave. Yes, she could, even though it was exhausting, and as long as she blocked out every single thought of Lukas, because every time she let her thoughts drift in that direction, she got teary. Her speech faltered. And she fought the urge to run screaming down the aisle.

  Yes, she might be borderline crazy. She just had to hold off tipping over the edge for another couple of hours.

  As soon as she sat down, Olivia gave her a little wave from her seat on Brad’s other side, and Brad took her hand and gripped it tightly. “You look lovely tonight. I’m so proud of you.”

  She shrugged, unable to speak.

  She wanted to tell him so many things. Thank him for being here. For supplying all this food on a few days’ notice.

  “Looks like you were right about Lukas after all,” she managed. “For all I fought you on it.”

  He squeezed her hand. “Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. But I’m done interfering, Sam. Only you know what’s best for your own life.”

  “Yeah, well, I did a great job of that, didn’t I?” The pull of success had taken Lukas away again, and it always would. He wasn’t the kind to settle down. She’d known it all along. She’d just hoped for a different ending.

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Brad said.

  The lights dimmed. Her beloved stars shone on the dome overhead, the wisps of c
louds threaded through the softly twinkling lights. She couldn’t help but remember Lukas kissing her neck while she looked up at those stars, whispering sweet words to her . . .

  “May I have your attention,” Mayor Kline was saying. He welcomed everyone, told them how important the theater was to the community, and asked everyone to give generously to such a great cause. Sam had asked him to make the final plea for donations and not to recognize her. It wasn’t necessary, she’d said. But truthfully, she just didn’t have the heart.

  Sam tilted up her chin and braced for the curtain to open. She realized her fists were clenched and she was holding her breath. Some stupid, naive part of her was still holding out hope that the curtain would open and there Lukas would be, his thick black hair shiny in the spotlight, his dark eyes and satiny voice telling her that he’d come back for her, that he’d do anything for her . . .

  The curtain rose. There, center stage, was a red-haired man with a guitar. The crowd screamed and applauded. She clapped and smiled, but disappointment crushed her. Not that she didn’t love Ed but he simply wasn’t Lukas. Well, of course he wasn’t! Lukas was in New York opening for the Stones. Far, far away from this ancient relic of a theater that wouldn’t ever have state-of-the-art sound and lighting unless the renovation got funded. Which was dubious at best, even with this benefit.

  She turned to Brad. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

  “Are you okay? Let me come with you.” Brad immediately started to get up, until he must’ve realized he really couldn’t accompany her to the bathroom. He turned to his wife. “Olivia, will you go with Sam to the bathroom?”

  Sam held out a hand to stop them. “I just need some air. Do not follow me. I promise I’ll be all right.” She didn’t wait for his answer, instead she began gingerly climbing over people’s legs and purses. “Excuse me. Sorry, Mrs. Christopolous. Hi, Mr. Marks, Jeannie. Good to see you. Thanks for coming.” Then she was bolting down the long aisle. If she could just not cry long enough to hang a left into the hallway past the restrooms and out the back parking lot door into the fresh, cool night, she’d be all right. But she never made it to the back of the theater.

  A lovely British voice rang through the theater loud and clear. “Is Samantha Rushford here?”

  She froze in the middle of the gaudy carpet. Turned slowly toward the stage. Why was Ed Sheeran asking for her?

  “I understand that Samantha is the head of the Palace Theater Restoration Committee, and if it weren’t for her, this event would never have happened. Let’s give Samantha a round of applause.”

  A spotlight sought and found her. She had only seconds to wipe away what she could of the ghoulish mess that was her makeup. Plastering on a smile even as she felt her heart in her chest, heavy and full as a wet sponge, she waved to the packed crowd. Applause thundered around her. Whistles and whoops. Then suddenly everyone was standing, and the clapping kept going on and on and on.

  “Would you come on up here, Samantha, and say a few words to your community, who clearly loves you so much.”

  Sam looked at the faces of so many people she’d known most of her life. Even in her heartbreak, she was overwhelmed. They wanted the theater. They were glad she’d tried so hard to save it. They’d given their all to help her pull this off tonight. How would she have the heart to tell them she hadn’t succeeded? At least she could tell them how much she loved them all. For them she could be strong. Even without Lukas.

  She’d been so frightened to let go of Harris. So afraid to be cut loose, adrift without him and the safety net he represented. But she knew the safety net was more like a fishnet she’d become bound by, and knew now that she hadn’t loved him, not the way you were supposed to. Not in a way that made your heart ache and your lungs hurt just from breathing when you thought of your entire life alone without the man you loved. Real love sucked in a way, didn’t it? Because it ripped your heart out without mercy and let it bleed all over the floor.

  She saw her brothers looking at her, frowning, their dark brows knit low. Tom was already halfway down the aisle, and Ben was out of his seat. But she forced a smile and waved them back. She didn’t need their help. She could do this alone.

  She walked onto her beloved stage. The Moorish castle façade was bathed in a soft glow on each side, the night sky peeking out between the columns and walls, and fake flower vines wrapped around the intricately carved columns. It was so realistic, she half expected to hear crickets chirping. She smiled widely and gave Ed a big hug. Someone handed her a microphone.

  “I wanted to thank everyone for coming. The restoration committee has worked hard over these past two years to raise a lot of money to maintain our magnificent theater as a historic landmark that will be preserved for generations to come. My students made all the decorations tonight and served. Brad Rushford, the owner of Reflections, provided the appetizers, and Ted Lawrence, owner of Mona’s Bakery, provided the sweets. Ed, I wanted to thank you for coming to our little town and attracting such a large crowd tonight.”

  She paused. She’d hoped to quietly fade into the background and go home as soon as the concert was over, and pray that other people felt the beauty of the theater and donated and that somehow they’d make the cut.

  But that was a fairy tale. No matter what was going on in her personal life, she had a responsibility to her town. Her community. She would tell them the truth.

  She held the mic carefully and looked out into the crowd. Over three thousand seats, all filled. “We were counting on the matching funds from the state grant that expires this year but despite all our efforts, we’re still two million dollars short.”

  “Actually, we’re not,” someone from behind her said.

  The crowd gasped. Behind her, a man in a tux that hugged every smoking hot muscle on his tall lean frame walked onto the stage. His thickly layered hair shone in the spotlights and his wicked smile gleamed. Tiny diamonds flashed from his ears. He was the sexiest man she had ever seen. And he’d come back.

  She blinked, unable to believe it. The crowd went crazy, whistling and whooping. Lukas man-hugged Ed and nodded to Sam a little tentatively, like he wasn’t sure how she would react.

  She was stunned. Speechless. Shaking. And tearing up. Again. Lord, she’d cried more in the past week than she had her entire life.

  “Hi, everybody,” Lukas said to the packed house, “I’m Lukas Spikonos. Ed and I are going to sing together.” That made everyone roar even louder, but he signaled for quiet. “But right now I’d like to say a few words.

  “As you know, I’m from Mirror Lake. But I wasn’t from the nice part of town. I didn’t come from a nice family. In fact, I could pretty much say it was a miracle that one day I met someone nice who made me want to be a better man. And that someone is standing next to me.

  “Samantha,” he took her hand in his warm, callused one, “you’re everything to me. More than the stars and the sun and the moon—and the Stones. And I have something for you.”

  He had something for her? It was enough that he was here. She didn’t need anything else, ever.

  Murmurs of surprise drifted up from the crowd, but Lukas kept talking. “A long time ago, I wrote some music, but I didn’t have any words for it. In fact, I’d never written words to a song before. But Samantha wrote me a poem and as I read the poem, I realized it fit perfectly to the music. So I used her words without asking, never thinking the song would ever be anything more than a little tune I’d sing as part of a late-night set in some smoky bar.

  “Sam, ever since ‘You Don’t Know Me’ came out, I’ve put all the proceeds from it into an account.”

  You could drop a Q-tip on the floor and hear it.

  “Stevie, come on out here.”

  The little boy ran onto the stage holding an enormous cardboard check that was almost as big as he was. His hair was slicked back and he wore a tux with a black bow tie that matched Lukas’s. He was absolutely adorable. The check had “The Palace Theater” written on it and the wor
ds “two million dollars.”

  “This is half the money from the song—my half for writing the music, and I’d like to give it as a gift to the theater. I’m sorry about not giving you credit, Sam. The other half is yours to use however you’d like.”

  Sam was stunned. She was having a hard time processing. Lukas had saved the theater. He’d come back for her.

  Lukas took the cardboard from Stevie, and Sam bent to kiss and hug him. “We’re back, Sam,” Stevie said. “And now you can be my mom and Uncle Lukas can be my dad. Say you will, okay?”

  “I have to ask her to marry me first,” Lukas whispered to Stevie.

  Lukas’s gaze fixed on her, and she saw everything in his eyes. Love. And a little bit of mischief. Sam backed up a bit. I mean, there were a ton of people out there. She was never one to envision a marriage proposal that was shared by three thousand people. But Lukas grabbed her waist, halting her escape. And dropped down on one knee, handing the mic to Stevie so only Sam would hear.

  “You don’t have to—” she said.

  “Yeah, I do.” He held fast to her hand.

  “Lukas, before you go any further, I have to tell you something. I was always afraid of having a risky life. But I’m willing to do what it takes to be together. If that means going out on the road, I’ll do it.” She paused. “Thank you for saving our theater. But I don’t want the extra money. All I ever wanted was you.”

  Lukas looked into her eyes. “I was afraid I couldn’t love you or anybody. But you taught me about love, Sam, and Stevie taught me that maybe just loving someone with all your heart is enough. I want to give us a chance, Sam, and I’ll do anything for it. I’ll cut down on the touring. I’ll build a recording studio in the house. I’ll write songs for other artists. Whatever I do, I’ll do better this time if you give me a chance. I want to build a life here with you and Stevie. I want to put him in school here, have a real home base, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. I’ve loved you from the moment I caught your eye walking down that street by Clinker’s, and I was a stupid fool to ever let you get away. Will you marry me?”