‘I’ll get over it,’ she said flatly.
‘You’re nothing to do with your real mother.’
‘I know that, Joe.’ Untying the scarf from her head, she replaced it round her neck. ‘I only wish everyone else realised it.’
‘Do people bring it up? Because if they do, I’ll …’
‘You’re the only one who brings it up.’ Her hair was caught painfully at the nape of her neck. Reaching up, she pulled out her hair clips and shook it free. ‘Uncle Roy and I haven’t mentioned her since the day of our engagement party. Helen, Judy and Katie asked about her. After I told them what I knew, they said they were sorry and that was the end of it as far as they were concerned. But every single time I talk to you my mother comes into the conversation.’
‘I only mentioned your mother because I finally discovered who fathered me and hoped that because you had been through a similar experience you would understand how I feel.’
‘Seeing as how my mother is a common prostitute and your father a wealthy solicitor, I fail to see the connection.’
‘I don’t want Richard Thomas to be my father any more than you want a prostitute for a mother.’
‘He’s a wealthy, important man, Joe.’ She brushed sand from her skirt. ‘He has influence in the town. He could help you when you leave university.’
‘He also abandoned my mother and me,’ he pronounced bitterly.
‘He must have had his reasons. He could have been married already.’
‘As it happens, he was. He’s had the same wife for forty-odd years,’ he admitted, ‘but that doesn’t excuse what he did.’
‘Perhaps the trust fund was his way of keeping in touch with you, in which case you can’t accuse him of totally abandoning you. And your mother did marry another man.’
‘Only because Richard Thomas deserted her.’
‘I think you’re making assumptions when you don’t know the facts.’ Leaving the wall, she stood in front of him. ‘You have to talk to him and your mother.’
‘Why should I give either of them the time of day?’
‘Because if you don’t you’ll drive yourself crazy.’
‘When I last talked this over with John Griffiths, he suggested that my father might have been one of my mother’s set, a student or someone too young to get married and support a family.’
‘And you would have preferred that.’
‘Frankly, yes, anyone other than a lecherous bastard old enough to be my grandfather.’
‘Do you remember how you used to say that I was the last surviving member of the Russian royal family, the daughter or granddaughter of a child smuggled out by an Irish nanny?’
‘I had to explain away the surname of Sullivan somehow.’ He almost smiled at her.
‘And as you didn’t even have a surname to explain away because you had John Griffiths’ you thought you could have been the son of an intellectual, a film star, a member of the royal family …’
‘I confess I had my fantasies, but then you know all about those. The castles, or rather cottages I built in the air.’ He changed the subject before she could mention Martin. ‘So what would you do in my position?’
‘First, I wouldn’t forget who brought me up.’
‘My mother …’
‘Think of what it must have been like for her, Joe. Pregnant with an older man’s baby, unmarried …’
‘I’ll never forgive her,’ he broke in sternly.
‘For giving birth to you when Richard Thomas wanted to “get rid” of you …’
‘That doesn’t alter the fact he’s trying to buy me now.’
‘You don’t know that for certain and you won’t until you talk to him.’
‘I wish he didn’t have money and position. I’d have more respect for him if he’d been a common labourer who’d had the decency to marry my mother.’
‘That’s easy to say after you’ve had all the advantages of a comfortable upbringing, including a university education.’
‘Yes, it is.’ He followed her example and rose from the wall. ‘And you’re right, I do have to see him if only to find out if he did influence my grandmother’s will and put money into my trust fund.’
‘And if he did?’
‘I won’t touch a penny of it.’
‘And your grandmother’s house?’
‘Give it to Helen.’
‘You can do that, but Richard Thomas will still be your father.’
‘Then what do you suggest I do?’
‘About your trust fund and grandmother’s estate, whatever you want. About Richard Thomas, talk to him and accept the fact of him, even if you decide never to see him again.’
‘Like you with your mother.’
‘Like I said, Joe, I can’t ignore who my mother is, but I can stop myself from getting angry or feeling embarrassed.’
‘I wish I could be like you.’ He looked into her eyes, tawny gold in the evening sunlight.
‘Everyone’s their own person. You have to make your own life.’
He reached for her hand and kissed her fingers. ‘How could I ever have been foolish enough to let you go?’
‘You didn’t let me go, I went and we’re friends now, remember.’
As he hugged her and felt her heart beating next to his, he did remember – just long enough to keep their embrace chaste.
Restless, needing to talk to someone, disappointed not to find Lily at home and knowing Judy wouldn’t be back from Mumbles for another half-hour, Katie found her way down to her brothers’ basement. Knocking on the door, she walked in to find Sam alone in the kitchen.
‘Tea,’ he offered, pouring boiling water into the teapot.
‘No thanks, I was looking for Martin.’
‘He’s working late.’
‘So he is. I forgot.’
‘Jack’s in. He’s changing to go down the hospital.’ Pushing a cup in front of her, Sam handed her the milk and sugar. ‘You look beat. Tough day at work?’
‘Yes.’ Without thinking what she was doing she sat at the table and poured milk into her teacup.
‘Tea’s ready,’ Sam announced as Jack burst through the door juggling a bright-red tie while trying to push studs into his collar.
He glanced at the clock. ‘I’ve only ten minutes.’
‘Mr Griffiths will wait for you.’
‘We want to get to the ward before Helen’s mother.’
‘Is she visiting her as well?’ Katie asked.
‘Not if we can help it.’ He frowned at his sister. ‘You all right? You look a bit peaky.’
‘That’s just what I said. How about we go for a walk on the beach, get some fresh air and meet Jack in Joe’s ice cream parlour after visiting?’
Before Katie could refuse, Jack said, ‘That sounds like a great idea. I can always do with some company after visiting. I hate having to leave Helen in that place when the bell rings, as much as she hates having to stay there.’ He screwed his tie into an unwieldy knot. ‘Bloody thing! And you didn’t hear that.’ He stood still as Katie pulled it free from his collar. Smoothing it between her fingers, she knotted it neatly. ‘Thanks, sis. I didn’t want to see Helen wearing a black one. Big night tonight, the doctor’s rounds were this morning and she was hoping they’d give her the all clear to leave before the weekend.’
‘Does she know yet that you have to report for your National Service on Monday?’ Sam opened a tin of biscuits and foraged through the mess of broken digestives in the hope of finding a hidden chocolate cream.
‘I talked it over with her father. We thought it would be best to tell her when she gets home.’
‘She’s going to be devastated,’ Katie murmured.
‘Do you think I like having to leave her just as she comes out of hospital?’ Jack glanced at the clock again. ‘I’ll give the tea a miss, Sam. See you in Joe’s.’
Katie glared Sam as the door closed. ‘This is not a date.’
‘Absolutely. Just a walk, an ice cream and you
r brother takes you home. But you have to admit it’s criminal to stay indoors on an evening like this, particularly after a day at the office. I don’t know what yours is like but I don’t believe a breath of fresh air has stirred the hallowed chambers of the police station in years. See you in half an hour,’ he called after her as she went to the stairs.
‘Three-quarters, I need to change.’
‘You look fantastic as you are.’
‘I should hope so. These are my working clothes. I’m going to put on a pair of pedal-pushers.’
‘Twenty minutes out front.’ His heart sank. He’d hoped that perseverance would eventually wear Katie down. But it didn’t seem likely when she was ‘dressing down’ to go out with him.
‘You’re up.’ Jack beamed as he walked down the ward with John Griffiths to find Helen sitting in a chair next to her bed, which had been moved into the general ward the week before.
‘Not only up, I can stay out of bed all day, walk around and bath myself. And’ – her smile had a trace of the old mischievous Helen – ‘the doctor says, if I’m good, I’ll be discharged on Friday morning.’
‘It will be wonderful to have you home.’ Jack sat beside her.
‘I’ll even give Jack Friday and Saturday off to look after you.’
‘You meany, Dad. Why only Friday and Saturday?’
‘In the meantime you can study this.’ John gave Jack a guarded look as he handed Helen the envelope that Richard Thomas had entrusted to him.
She picked suspiciously at the wax seal. ‘What is it?’
‘A list of everything your Aunt Julia left to your grandmother when she died. Your grandmother’s left it to you.’
‘The house overlooking Limeslade beach.’ Her eyes shone with excitement.
‘And everything else your Aunt Julia owned.’
‘Including the furniture?’
‘Apparently so. Richard Thomas wanted to talk to you about it but I told him he’d have to wait until you are out of hospital.’
‘Thank you.’ She shuddered at the thought of her boss’s wet lips and slack mouth. ‘I’d hate him to see me in my nightdress.’
‘Helen, he’s old enough to be your grandfather.’ John looked around for a chair.
‘And a horrible, greasy, lecherous …’
‘He hasn’t done anything to you, has he?’ Jack broke in anxiously.
‘Not unless you count looking at me as if he can see through my clothes.’
‘If I’d known that, I would never have let you work for him.’ Jack flushed as his temper rose.
‘“Let me!” You may be my husband, Jack Clay, but you don’t own me.’
‘Save your quarrelling for situations you can do something about.’ John lifted out a stool from under the bed and sat down next to Jack. ‘And as you’re no longer working for Richard Thomas it’s all a bit academic.’
‘He fired me!’
‘He told me this afternoon that he’s filled your position.’
‘It’s just as well,’ Jack declared. ‘You couldn’t have gone back for months and that was before you told me he was after you.’
‘I didn’t say he was after me. I said he looked at me …’
‘Jack’s right, love,’ John intervened, in an attempt to stave off an argument. ‘You need to rest and get your health back.’
‘Now the two of you are ganging up on me.’
‘Jack needs all the support he can get to keep you in order,’ John joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
‘Neither of you is going to turn me into a housewife. I’d go mad …’
‘Come on, Helen,’ Jack coaxed, ‘it’s not as if you even liked working for Richard Thomas. You were always on about how much you hated it. This could be an opportunity to do something you really want – when you’re well.’
‘Just like a man. “Do what I want” when I’ve no training for anything other than office work.’
‘Actually, I have a proposition.’ John propped his stick against Helen’s bed. ‘I was going to bring it up after you came home. But now might be as good a time as any. You could work for me.’
‘As a junior under Katie! Thanks but no thanks.’
‘Not in the office. Do you remember those underclothes you wanted for your trousseau that the buyer insisted wouldn’t sell in Swansea?’
‘And then went like hotcakes,’ Helen crowed.
‘It made me think that the warehouse could do with another buyer. A young person with an eye for young people’s fashion.’
‘This isn’t a “let’s feel sorry for poor Helen and find her something to do”, is it?’ she asked suspiciously. ‘Because if it is …’
‘This is a “yesterday morning I overheard a couple of young girls telling their mothers that they wouldn’t be seen dead in our summer range of sports clothes.”’
‘I told you they were dire when they came in.’ Helen smiled at Jack as he squeezed her hand between his own. ‘Your range of ladies’ fashions isn’t too bad, apart from the underclothes, but the buyer hasn’t a clue when it comes to teenagers.’
‘So, will you consider my offer?’
‘I don’t have to. If you’re serious about updating the range, the answer’s yes,’ she qualified.
‘But I’ll not allow you to start in the warehouse until you are one hundred per cent recovered,’ John warned.
‘It wouldn’t hurt for me to take a look at the suppliers’ catalogues …’
‘When you’re well, not before.’ John kissed her forehead as he left the stool and pushed it back under her bed. ‘Now, if you two will excuse me I have to meet someone.’
‘Amazing how you always have to meet someone halfway through visiting,’ Helen commented.
‘I have a warehouse to run.’
‘From the White Rose.’
‘She’s better, Jack, she’s beginning to insult me again.’ John gave her another kiss before limping off up the ward.
‘He looks tired,’ Helen said, watching her father walk out.
‘We’ve had a tiring day.’ Jack lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.
‘Was the funeral awful?’
‘Long.’
‘In one way I feel terrible, not being able to go, but in another I’m glad I didn’t have to sit in the house for hours with my mother and grandmother’s friends while you, Joe and my father were at the cemetery.’
‘The service in the church went on for ever.’ He closed his fingers round her wedding ring.
‘Did my mother talk to my father?’
‘Not that I saw.’
‘Funny, it hasn’t occurred to me until now, but he’s going to be lonely after the divorce.’
‘No more than he is now, or when your mother lived with you. She was never at home.’
‘But Joe and I were. And Joe will be leaving for Cardiff at the end of the summer. Do you think he’ll get married again?’
‘Your father?’ he asked, surprised by the thought.
‘Why not?’ she questioned. ‘He deserves to have someone nice to look after him, especially after being married to my mother.’
‘You want a stepmother.’
‘I want my father to be happy.’
‘You’ll only be downstairs …’
‘It would be crazy to pay my father rent for the flat when we own a house. I can’t wait to show it to you. You can see the sea from almost every room. Two minutes and you’re on the beach. There’s a huge living room, a big kitchen, four bedrooms, a garden. It’s absolutely perfect,’ she gushed enthusiastically. ‘I know you’re just going to love it.’
‘Before you have us moving in, your father thinks it’s been empty for a few years, in which case it may need some work doing to it.’
‘You don’t want to live in Limeslade?’
‘There’ll be plenty of time to look the house over and decide what to do about it after you’ve left here,’ he answered evasively.
‘I suppose so.’ She looked earnestly at him. �
�We won’t end up like my parents, will we, Jack? Quarrelling, divorcing …’
‘Not if I have any say in the matter.’
‘It’s just that … without children …’ She fell silent, as both of them were suddenly aware of the woman in the next bed listening in on their conversation.
‘You’ll be home on Friday. We’ll talk then,’ he whispered.
‘I can’t wait.’ She grabbed his hand with both of hers. ‘What is the flat looking like?’
‘Exactly as it did the last time you were in it.’
‘You haven’t been living there.’
‘I moved back in with Martin.’
‘Why? You would have been more comfortable in the flat. It has all our things. Everything you need, it’s our home …’
‘I was afraid I’d mess it up without you.’
‘Oh, Jack.’ The tears that had hovered perilously close to the surface ever since she had emerged from the anaesthetic to find she had lost their child began to fall again. Conscious of heads turning in their direction, he handed her his handkerchief. ‘I’m sorry. I promised myself before you came that I wouldn’t cry. And now look at me.’
‘I’d be howling like a baby if I had to spend a month in this place.’
‘Mr Clay.’ The ward sister appeared at the foot of Helen’s bed. ‘I see you’ve managed to upset your wife again.’
‘No, sister, it’s my fault …’ Helen began.
‘It’s best you leave, Mr Clay,’ the sister interrupted sternly.
‘No!’ Helen protested.
‘Mr Clay.’
‘Please, sister,’ Helen begged, her tears falling again despite her frantic efforts to control herself.
‘How about I just hold her hand and don’t say a word.’ Jack parried the sister’s glare.
‘Any more tears, Mrs Clay, and we’ll have to reconsider doctor’s decision to discharge you on Friday.’
Jack glowered at the sister until she moved away. He leaned forward under pretence of picking up a coin he’d deliberately dropped to the floor.
‘No one will be able to tell me to leave you after Friday, love, even if I have to break you out of here.’ The irony of his declaration struck home as he recalled the railway warrant he’d received that morning.
She smiled at him through her tears. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it again. ‘Love you,’ he mouthed silently.
Swansea Summer Page 27
