by Linda Warren
“This is your mother, Leah,” Falcon said to Eden and stood next to their daughter.
A rush of nerves assailed Leah and she had trouble breathing, but she stared straight into her daughter’s green eyes, so like her own. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve thought about you so much over the years and not a day has gone by that I didn’t pray that you were well and being taken care of by your father.”
“My father has always been here for me.” Eden almost spat the words. “I know that I can count on him for anything. When I think of him, I feel this big hug around my heart. When I think if you, all I feel is anger that you could leave a little baby.”
Leah swallowed the sob in her throat and words eluded her. This was Eden’s moment and she had a right to say whatever she wanted. But the pain was sharper than Leah had expected.
“Dad told me about your mother and the accident and everything that happened to you. I don’t know how to respond to that because all I know is I lost my mother and I don’t think there’s any way to get her back now.”
Leah found her voice. “Your father did a great job raising you.”
“That’s because he’s a great person.”
“I know that.”
Eden flipped back her hair. “Then why come back if you don’t want to stay?”
Leah fought for words. “I don’t live in Horseshoe anymore. My life is in Houston. You may not understand, but I’ve waited so long to make this decision and it’s time for me to start a new life. I can’t do that until I tell you how sorry I am about what happened. If I could go back, I would change everything. I would talk to your father and tell him what I was feeling so he could help me. I know now that he would have. But I made all the wrong choices and now I have to live with that. You’re my child and I will always love you. You don’t have to love me back. I lost that right a long time ago.”
Eden was silent for a moment, but Leah sensed a chink in her armor of defiance. “You really love this other guy?”
Leah choked back another sob. “He took care of me when I needed someone and we became very close. Yes, I love him.”
“Then why come back? You should’ve stayed away.”
Leah’s head throbbed and she touched her forehead. Not now. She needed just a few more minutes. The room began to sway and she knew she wasn’t going to get those minutes. “Oh.” She tried to remain focused, but she felt herself falling, falling until everything was black for a second. She crumpled to the floor.
“Daddy, what’s wrong with her?” Eden’s question pierced the blackness.
“Calm down, baby. She’s just nervous.” Then two strong arms lifted her onto the sofa and Falcon’s callused hands smoothed her cheeks. “Leah, are you all right?”
Everything was coming into focus and she could see his handsome face, the worry lines.
“I...”
“Get a glass of water,” he told Eden.
Leah slowly sat up and brushed her hair from her face. “I’m sorry. My nerves are getting the best of me.”
“Take a couple of deep breaths.”
Eden came back with a glass of water and handed it to her. She clasped it like a lifeline, needing to hold something. After a couple of moments, she said, “I really have to go.” She stood with as much dignity as possible.”
Falcon stood beside her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes.” Her eyes settled on Eden’s startled face. She was so beautiful it took Leah’s breath away. So young, with her whole life ahead of her. Leah hoped she hadn’t done anything that would leave bad feelings for the future. “Thank you for allowing me to come. You’re just as I pictured you in my dreams.” Eden just stared at her and Leah knew she should go, but she held back. “Do you mind if I hug you?”
“Uh...”
At Eden’s hesitation, Leah backed off. “It’s okay.”
Eden glanced at her father and then said, “I don’t mind.”
Leah’s heart beat so fast she could barely move, but she took a step toward her daughter and wrapped her arms around her. She held and hugged her as if it was for the last time because it was. When she was about to draw away, Eden’s arms went around Leah’s waist and she hugged her back. Tears stung the back of Leah’s eyes. She didn’t hope for this much. She felt blessed.
She took a step backward. “Thank you and goodbye.” She turned toward the door, unable to endure any more. Falcon was right behind her and followed her to the car.
“Thank you,” was all she could say. Her hands shook and she gripped the car door for support.
“I don’t understand what you’re doing, but I’m not going to question you. I just wish you’d call your daughter every now and then just to let her know you care.”
Leah bit her lip. “I’ll think about it.”
He shook his head, but didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry I was so critical this morning. I was just upset that I was so weak and allowed my basic instincts to take over. You did nothing wrong in our marriage. You did everything right. I’m the one to blame.” She gripped the door a little tighter. “You were right, as always. We were deeply in love, but I was too young to know what I had or wise enough to accept it. Eden was conceived in love and I want her to know that. I hope someday you can forgive me for all the pain I’ve caused you.”
“Think about including her in your life. It would mean so much. She needs a mother now more than ever.”
Dusk had settled in and the wind chilled her heated skin—or was it yesterday’s memories clamped around her heart? Falcon wanted the impossible. She’d come back because she had to see her baby and she didn’t know how to explain that any other way. She couldn’t tell him everything. It was best to go.
“I...” Words failed her again. There was nothing she could say that would soothe his bruised ego.
He must’ve sensed her objection. “So this is the final goodbye?”
“Yes. It has to be and it hurts me just as much as it’s hurting you and Eden. Please believe that.”
“Are you going to tell David what happened this morning between us?”
“Of course. We have an honest and open relationship.”
“Really? The man must be very understanding.”
“He is. He won’t be happy, but we’ll work through it. That’s what couples do, as I’ve learned the hard way. I’ll send you the divorce papers.”
“Then it will really be over,” he said in a somber voice. “But from what I felt this morning it’s far from over. You’re being very mysterious about this whole thing and I feel something else is going on here.”
“Goodbye, Falcon. Take care of our daughter. I’ll never forget you.” She got in the car and drove away, refusing to look back at everything she was losing. At everything she never had. And at everything that could never be. Tears rolled from her eyes and she kept driving.
It was over. She’d done what she’d set out to do and now she could face her uncertain future.
Chapter Seven
A time to face consequences...
Falcon watched until Leah’s car disappeared out of sight. She was gone as quickly as she had come back into his life. He had to go forward this time, knowing that their relationship was really over. Before, he’d always wondered and worried about her. Now he knew she was okay and living in Houston and planning a life with someone else. He wasn’t afraid to admit how much that stung. That morning proved how weak he was when it came to Leah.
One minute he was angry and the next he was loving her like he’d never loved before. And she hadn’t protested. That’s what bothered him. If she really loved the other guy, how could she make such passionate love with him? He’d probably never know the answer, and he had to move on for himself and their daughter. Eden wasn’t handling this well.
In the den, his daughter was curled up in the corner of the sofa, tears rolling down her cheeks.
He sat beside her. “Hey, baby girl, why all the tears?”
Eden curled into his side. “I...I want her to stay, but she won’t. How can she leave us again?”
He wrapped his arms around his sad baby. “I don’t think it was easy for her, either. I’m not taking up for her or anything, but she made a decision to start a new life and she couldn’t until she had closure on her past or whatever she’s calling it.”
“But...”
He kissed the top of her head. “You don’t seem angry anymore, just hurt.”
“She seems so sad and when she fainted, I felt terrible for saying those things to her. Do you think she’s ill or something?”
“I think she was just nervous.”
“Yeah.” Eden became quiet, and then she asked, “Dad, do you think she’d mind if I called her sometime and went to Houston and had lunch with her like mothers and daughters do?”
Falcon hated to crush her hopes, but he felt there was no place for Eden in Leah’s life and he had to prepare her. “Baby, why don’t we let go and move on like she wants us to? This was goodbye and we have to respect her wishes.”
Eden sat up with a fire in her eyes that Falcon knew well. “Well, I’ll be eighteen soon and I can do what I want. And I just might want to go to Houston to see my mother. If she doesn’t like that, then she can tell me to my face.”
“Oh, Lord, help us all,” Falcon said as he got to his feet.
“I can, Dad.”
“I know, but give it some time. Now, Mom is making patty melts at Quincy’s so let’s go have supper.”
Arm in arm they walked toward the back door. “I’ve decided I don’t love Brandon, Dad.”
He was taken aback for a moment because Brandon was the last thing on his mind. “That seems very sudden. How did you come to that conclusion?”
“Because I don’t look at him the way you looked at my mother.”
His heart skipped a beat. Was he that obvious? “How is that?” he asked, trying for nonchalance.
“With moonbeams in your eyes.”
He stopped walking and stared at his daughter. “Eden, that’s silly. I don’t look at your mother that way.”
She tilted her head in a sly manner. “Oh, Dad, you lie. Moonbeams were shooting all over the den because you weren’t the only one with them in your eyes. She had them, too. There’s a lot of fire still there and, you know, she’s not married yet and I bet you’re ten times better than this David.”
He shook his head. “Why do women always weave these fantasies?”
“Because there would be no babies if we didn’t.”
He tried not to smile and failed. “Baby, please accept that there is no future for me and your mother. That’s only asking for a heartache.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
They went out the back door and Falcon tried hard not to get caught up in Eden’s fantasy, but after what had happened this morning he was already feeling the heartache. And wondering why there wasn’t a future for them when they had so much passion. But, as he’d told Eden, he had to let go. It would be his greatest test of strength.
* * *
LEAH TREMBLED SEVERELY and her vision was blurred. She was forced to pull over to the side of the road. Resting her head on the steering wheel, she took several deep breaths and then looked up. Everything was still blurry and fear shot through her. Not now. She reached for her purse on the passenger seat and pulled out her phone.
She could barely make out the icons on the screen. David answered immediately.
“David, I’m scared. I’m trembling and my vision is blurred.”
“Where are you?”
“On Rebel Road.”
“So you’ve seen them?”
“Yes, and I shouldn’t have come. It was selfish and you should’ve stopped me.”
“You’ve been trying to do this for years, Leah. It was time.”
“We’ll talk about that later, but right now I need to get off this road before Falcon or any of the family sees me.”
“Do you have your pills and some water?”
“Yes.”
“Take one.”
“I took one this morning.”
“It won’t hurt to take another.”
“Okay. Wait a minute.” She fished her medication out of her purse and found a bottle of water in the console. “I’ve taken it, but my vision is still blurred.”
“Lean back your head and breathe deeply. Calm down. I think this is the result of the trauma of seeing your husband and your daughter after so many years.”
“It was wonderful and awful at the same time. They were nicer than they should have been.”
“Don’t say that. You were dealt a hard blow, Leah. None of it was your fault.”
“I ran away like a scared little girl.”
“Leah...why don’t I come and get you? You need someone, and I don’t like you driving if you’re not feeling well.”
Leah opened her eyes and she could see. Relief washed over her. “No, don’t. I’m better. Really. My vision is back. I’ll just drive to the hotel and stay another night. I’ll come home in the morning. I don’t feel right driving all the way to Houston in this condition, either.”
“Are you sure? I can get Callie to come with me to drive your car.”
“No, don’t bother Callie. She’s busy at college and I’m fine now.” Callie was David’s daughter and in her first year at Rice University.
“From your reaction, I’m guessing you didn’t tell them the truth.”
Leah’s stomach cramped. “No. I couldn’t do that, but I had to see them and that’s the part that was selfish. I should’ve thought about them more.”
“If you would just tell them, it would be so much easier on you and them.”
“Then what? I refuse to be a burden to them.”
“Leah, that’s life. Families rally together in times of trouble and I’m sure your husband would appreciate the honesty.”
She took another deep breath. “I’ve made a decision and I’m sticking to it. I’ve made all the arrangements and I’m not changing anything now. That’s the way I want it.”
“You know I love you, but sometimes you don’t make much sense.”
“I’ve made so many bad decisions, but I feel this one is right for all of us. I got to see and hold my daughter. She let me hug her and I feel so grateful for that. Now I can do what I have to.”
“I’ll support you like I always have, but I firmly believe that Falcon deserves to know and so does your daughter.”
“David, please...”
“You made a mistake, Leah. But you were so young and you paid dearly for it in the years that followed. Just tell Falcon. I feel sure he would understand.”
Yes, Falcon was more understanding than she ever thought possible. She thought about telling him about her condition so many times, but all she could think about was Falcon having to take care of her and watch the misery that she would have to go through. She couldn’t do that to him. He deserved better. They had no future and there was no need to lead him on. The morning was a sweet agony she would remember to her last day. It was the perfect way to say goodbye.
“Do you think you can drive down tomorrow?” David’s voice pierced her thoughts.
“Yes. I’ll call you before I leave.”
“You call me when you reach the hotel tonight.”
“You’re such a worrywart.”
David laughed and Leah clicked off. Staring straight ahead, she started the engine and pulled out onto the lonely country road. The urge to go back and be honest with Falcon plagued her, but she knew she was doing the right thing. She couldn’
t heap all her troubles onto his shoulders after what she’d done to him. She had to go this journey alone.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING Leah was better, so she headed for Houston. Miss Hattie’s house, a large, brown, brick two-story with a pool, was in Bellaire. It was close to the medical center, as Miss Hattie’s husband had been a doctor. Life had dealt her some cruel blows but Miss Hattie was a blessing she would always be grateful for.
As she opened the back door, she heard music. Leah smiled. She’d given Alma, the housekeeper, time off while she was away, but evidently she was back.
“Alma!” she called, placing her suitcase on the floor.
The music stopped and Alma appeared from the living area with a hand over her heart. “My goodness, Miss Leah, you scared the dickens out of me.”
Leah picked up the mail on the desk by the door. “What are you doing here? You didn’t enjoy your time off?”
Alma wiped her hands on an oversize print apron. “Mr. David called and said you were coming home and you might need me.”
“He worries too much.”
Alma shook a finger at her. “And you’re too stubborn.” The woman gave her a narrow-eyed gaze. “You’re pale. Go sit down and I’ll fix you some chamomile tea.”
Leah obediently went because she was feeling drained and alone. For years she’d dreamed of seeing Falcon and Eden again and now that she had, there didn’t seem to be any reason to keep fighting, to keep going. Her defeatist attitude was getting the better of her and she would get her emotions under control in a minute. But first, she wanted to be sad. Sometimes a woman just had to feel sad.
Voices penetrated her gloom and soon David appeared in the living room.
“You made it,” he said, lowering his tall, lean form to sit on the sofa beside her. He must have hurried over because his grayish-blond hair was still damp from the shower. “You don’t look good.”
“Thank you.”
He picked up her wrist and took her pulse. “It’s a little high. I’m worried about you. This trip was too much.”
