by Linda Warren
Leah reached for her purse. “Callie’s fine. She was just testing you.” Callie got in with a bad crowd and ran away from home because she said her parents were smothering her. But it had all worked out and Callie was in college now and doing very well.
Feeling sick, Leah sat back down with a hand to her forehead. “I don’t know why I’m so ill. Maybe I am coming down with something. I just want to crawl in the bed and not get out, but my stomach feels like I’m fixing to throw up.”
“I better go with you.”
“No, you won’t. You go home and rest. Alma and I will be fine. I’ll call you later.”
“I’ll just be home worrying.”
Leah got to her feet again. “I’ll call you the minute I know anything.”
“You better.”
Leah hugged Anne again. “I’m happy about the baby.”
“Don’t you dare tell David.”
“My lips are sealed.”
* * *
THIRTY MINUTES LATER Leah sat in Dr. Morris’s waiting room with Alma. “I hate that you have to sit here.”
Alma shrugged. “What else have I got to do? I would do anything to make sure you’re healthy for this surgery. I brought my knitting and I might look through a few of these magazines for some new recipes.”
“I wish Miss Hattie was here.”
Alma patted Leah’s hands she had clasped in her lap. “She would be beside herself, but we all knew that tumor had to come out sooner or later. And now is the time. You’ll be fine. I’ve been praying and praying and I believe in prayer. So don’t you worry. This matter is in someone else’s hands. Someone stronger than you and me.”
“I’m so blessed to have you in my life.”
“Humph. I put up with Miss Hattie more years than I want to remember. I lost track of the number of times I quit or the number of times she fired me. She was one stubborn lady, but I loved her. And she wanted me to take care of you and I will fulfill her dying wish. Not because she asked me, but because you’re such a sweet lady. I would do anything for you.”
“You’re gonna make me cry.”
Alma patted Leah’s hands again. “Hush, now.”
“Ms. Rebel,” the nurse called, and Leah got up and followed her down the hall to Dr. Morris’s office. Leah was surprised to be shown into the office. Usually it was an examining room.
“Is there a reason Dr. Morris is seeing me in here?”
“He just wants to talk to you.”
“Thanks.” Leah sat in a brown leather chair facing a large oak desk. Medical books covered one wall. The room was spotless—much like the doctor, who was meticulous and orderly.
She’d sat in this office the day he’d told her about the tumor. It had been discovered after the accident, but the doctors didn’t tell her until she was back on her feet and looking forward to returning to Horseshoe and facing Falcon and Eden. The news had hit her hard and her dreams had come crashing down again.
The news had also upset Miss Hattie and she urged Leah not to have the surgery because of all the uncertainties. She knew Miss Hattie was thinking of Leah’s best interests, but Leah should’ve had the surgery then when the tumor was benign and small. Now the risks were so much greater.
It seemed as if every decision she made was the wrong one for her and her loved ones. She opened the locket she wore around her neck. Inside was a photo of Falcon and Eden. She was hungry for pictures and news of her daughter. Leah had found Eden on Facebook. With Callie’s help, she was able to friend her daughter without her knowing who she was and she saw pictures that made it easier to get through each day.
The door opened and Dr. Hyde Morris came in carrying her medical file. They shook hands and he took his seat at the desk. Of medium height and balding, Dr. Morris was dressed in his usual dark slacks and white doctor’s coat.
“You’re looking well,” he said.
“I don’t feel well.”
He scooted his chair forward and opened her file on the desk. “That’s what I want to talk about.”
“Did you get the test results?”
“Yes.”
She expected him to say more, but he was silent and that bothered her. He usually was a talker.
“And...”
He flipped through her file. “Tell me how you’re feeling?”
“Lousy. My head hurts and I’m sick to my stomach most days. Does that have anything to do with the tumor?”
“Partly. But we’re getting close to the surgery now and I want to check every angle. How’s your vision?”
“It comes and goes. Some days it’s bad, as I’ve told you.”
“Recently you visited your husband and daughter?”
The question threw her, but she answered, “Yes, I wanted to see them before the surgery.”
“We’ve talked about a lot of things, but you never said how the visit went.”
She moved nervously, crossing her legs, having no idea where this was leading. She felt it was none of his business.
“It was very sad and upsetting, but uplifting in a way. I got to hold my daughter and though she was angry at first I felt she came around in the end.”
“And the husband?”
“He was very angry, but like our daughter he came around, too.”
He leaned back in his chair. “You’re still adamant about them not being here for the surgery?”
“Yes. They don’t need to be burdened with me now. We said our goodbyes and they’ve forgiven me. That’s all I wanted to hear.”
“Leah...”
“Have you been talking to David?”
“We’re colleagues and I talk to him just about every day. And yes, I’ve talked to him about you because we want you to recover and have a full life ahead of you.”
“But you’ve said there could be debilitating side effects.”
He leaned forward. “I had to be honest with you. The tumor is rare, benign and slow growing, and usually goes undetected until it causes problems. In your case we discovered it from the MRIs of the head injuries you suffered during the accident. At that time your other health issues took precedence, but we’ve closely monitored it. As I’ve showed you on the MRIs, it’s positioned in the ridge along the back of the eyes and it’s going to be very difficult to remove without damage to your vision. After all this time, it’s now showing abnormal cells and that’s the reason we need to get it out before it becomes malignant. You are already experiencing some of its effects with your vision and there could be changes in your hearing, your thinking and your motor skills. I’m just giving you all the facts, but I’m a damn good neurosurgeon and I plan to give you the best chance at a life.”
Leah frowned. “But you’re not certain that you can?
“No. With surgery there are always risks.”
“You’ve already told me all this. Is there a reason you’re going over it again today this close to the surgery?”
He removed a piece of paper from the file and came around the desk and leaned against it facing her. “This is going to be a very difficult surgery and recovery. My goal is to have the patient as relaxed as possible, and also optimistic.”
“I’m praying with everything in me that you can remove it without any damage to my vision.”
“Usually a patient wants family around at this time.”
She sighed. “Dr. Morris, what are you getting at?”
“How do you feel about your husband?”
“That’s really none of your business.” The words came out before she could stop them.
He nodded. “It probably isn’t, but due to the results of this test, I’ve canceled the surgery.”
Leah’s pulse raced. “Why? Do I have a virus or the flu?”
“I wish it was that simple. We coul
d just postpone if it was that.”
“What is it, then?”
He looked at the paper in his hand and then at her. “You’re pregnant.”
Chapter Ten
A time to decide...
“What!”
“You’re feeling sick because you’re pregnant.”
Her body trembled and she wrapped her arms around her waist, her hand inching down to cover her stomach. Pregnant. Again. With Falcon’s child. An overwhelming sense of joy washed over her and she stopped trembling. She should be angry, upset, but all she felt was a joy of the precious gift she’d been given.
“This presents many complications.” The doctor’s voice penetrated her fog.
“What?”
He held up two fingers. “I now have two patients and I have to figure out what’s best for both of you. I’ve canceled the surgery until I can consult with an obstetrician, an anesthesiologist and a neonatal doctor.”
“This is hard to believe,” she said, trying to take it in, but her mind wasn’t working. All she could think was that she was pregnant.
“What happens now?”
“I’ve operated on women before who have been pregnant, but the tumor was discovered while they were pregnant. Your situation is slightly different. I’ll postpone the surgery until I can speak with doctors who have dealt with this type of high-risk pregnancy before. After the consultation, we’ll talk again. The tumor has to come out. We should’ve done it a year ago or even before that, but at that point it wasn’t life threatening.”
“Will the tumor harm the baby?”
Dr. Morris walked around to his desk and sat down. “No, not the tumor itself. I’m more concerned with the drugs you’ll be given and the effect on the fetus. Starting today you’ll only take acetaminophen for the headaches.”
“Okay.” She glanced down at the clasped hands in her lap. This was the last thing she’d expected when she walked into his office today. So many questions ran through her head and so many emotions threatened to choke her. When it was just her life, the decision was easy. Now there was a baby and she would do nothing to harm it. This was her second chance and she was going to grasp it with everything in her, even if it meant risking her life.
She looked at the doctor. “If I have the surgery now, will the baby be at risk?”
“The drugs you’ll be given will be a concern and there’s a possibility you might abort it.”
“I want to carry this baby as long as I can. Since the tumor is not harming it, I will do just that.”
“I advise talking to the doctors first. “
She shook her head. “It won’t change my mind. I want to give the baby every chance.”
“Leah...”
“I’m serious about this.” She put her hand over her stomach.
“It’s your decision.”
“Yes, it is.” Her bravado wavered a little. “Not that it will make a difference, but how will waiting affect my health?”
“The tumor will continue to grow and possibly become malignant and then your chances of survival are considerably lower. If we get it out now, your chances are better. Losing your eyesight is a main concern, hearing, too, but I suggest a neurological evaluation every two weeks to stay on top of it. And if you agree, I’ll contact the obstetrician and set up an appointment.”
“Yes, I’d like that.”
He closed her file on the desk. “As you pointed out, it’s none of my business, but I strongly advise you to call your husband. It’s his child, too.”
She didn’t even ask how he knew the baby was Falcon’s. It was a good guess because she wasn’t dating anyone. David and Anne had tried to set her up many times. But she was never interested. She was a married woman and even though she had left her husband she would never break her vows.
“That’s my decision, too.”
“Do you mind if I talk to David about this?”
She stood on shaky legs. “Yes, I mind. I will tell them tonight and then you can talk to him all you want, but I’ll be the one to tell them.”
He inclined his head. “Call me if you have any problems. My secretary will set up your next appointment.”
Slipping the strap of her purse over her shoulder, she said, “Sometimes things happen for a reason and I know there’s a reason somewhere in all this. I don’t understand it, but I will accept it and carry this child as long as I can.”
“Talk to David and Anne.”
“I will.” She gripped her purse strap tighter.
“And please talk to your husband.”
Walking out of the room, she felt stronger than she’d ever had before in her life. This baby was a gift and she would treat it as such. No matter what happened in the days, weeks and months ahead she would accept her fate with grace and dignity and give this child a chance at a life. She’d bailed on Eden, but she would never harm this baby.
She was silent on the way home and Alma didn’t say much, either. When they walked into the kitchen, Leah said, “I need to tell you something.”
Alma grabbed her chest. “Oh, Miss Leah, don’t tell me bad news.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Alma frowned. “What?”
“I’m going to have a baby.”
“But...who? What about the tumor?”
“My husband. I’ve decided not to have the surgery just yet to give the baby a better chance.”
“Oh, Miss Leah.” Alma clutched her chest again. “What about your health?”
Leah looked down at her stomach. “It doesn’t matter. Only the baby matters.”
Alma hugged her. “God has a plan, Miss Leah. Just you wait and see. Everything will work out. You have to trust and believe. I come from a strong line of Catholics and we’ve been believing for years and I will continue to pray for you and this little one.” She placed a hand on Leah’s stomach. “Have you told the Thornwalls?”
“I’ll do that tonight.”
She called Anne and invited them over, saying she had something to tell them. The Thornwall family arrived and they sat in Miss Hattie’s stylish living room, including Callie and Calise because Leah had invited them also. She was close to the girls and she wanted them to know.
When she told them about her visit with Dr. Morris, they stared at her like a tree full of owls—big eyes and their mouths forming big Os.
David was the first to react. “Excuse me. What did you say?”
She told them again about the pregnancy and her decision to wait before the surgery.
David got to his feet, shaking his head. “How did this happen, Leah?”
Callie laughed. “Dad, you should’ve figured that out by now.”
David glared at his daughter. “This isn’t funny. Leah has a tumor that needs to come out.”
“I have gone over everything with Dr. Morris. The baby will have a better chance if I wait. This is my second chance to be a mother and I want that more than anything.”
“Have you told your husband?” David asked.
Leah knew this was coming and she braced herself. She had conflicting emotions about calling Falcon and she still hadn’t decided. He had a right to know, she kept thinking, but she still worried that he might force her to do something she didn’t want. She needed time to get her thoughts straight.
“Not yet,” she replied.
“Leah, he needs to know now.”
On and on it went until Leah grew weary. Anne stayed out of it as her husband continued to apply pressure.
Finally Callie interrupted. “Okay, Dad. We’ve heard your opinion and that’s all it is—your opinion. It’s Leah’s body and she has a right to make her own decisions and I stand firmly behind her.”
David turned on his daughter. “You know nothing about this.”
Callie threw back her blond hair. “Really? Because I’m just a teenager? I don’t need to be an adult to respect someone’s wishes. I love Leah and I’m not forcing my opinions on her and you shouldn’t, either.”
Anne stood with the help of Callie and put a hand on David’s arm. “Honey, let’s go and give Leah some peace. We can talk about this again tomorrow.”
Seventeen-year-old Calise, better known as Lissie, hugged Leah around the waist. “I support you in whatever you want to do.”
Leah hugged her back. “Thank you, sweetie. That means a lot to me.”
David studied her for a moment and then came over and folded her in his arms. At that moment she wished they were someone else’s arms. She pushed the thought away immediately.
“My mother always taught me to be respectful, so I’m going to accept your decision, even though I know it’s wrong, but as the women in my life have pointed out I need to respect your wishes.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
He drew back. “But risking your ire, I’ll say again your husband needs to know and he needs to be here.”
Leah was tired of the bickering and she didn’t want to start all over again. “I have a lot of thinking to do.”
“Good,” David said, and the family walked out the back door. Silence settled in the house like an old friend. It was what she needed now. Peace and quiet to make all the right decisions for herself, her baby and, yes, for Falcon.
Lying in bed that night, she reached for the locket around her neck and held it in her hand as if she could feel Falcon’s presence. If she called him, he would come because that’s how he was—honorable and loyal. But she didn’t want him to come out of a sense of duty. She wanted him to come out of love.
She had to wonder if that was even a possibility after all they’d been through.
* * *
FALCON WAS FEELING better than he had in a long time. Eden had her first rodeo and she did very well. She came in third and was mad because her time could’ve been better, she’d said. So she was now practicing every chance she got. He never realized how determined she was and how much she liked barrel racing. He would support her every way he could, but she was still going to college. Which made him stubborn, as Eden had pointed out several times. He was sticking to his guns, though.
