by Linda Warren
“I can take it,” she replied, getting bacon out of the freezer. “I didn’t really expect anything less. I buy cooked bacon. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
As she opened the package, she asked, “Are you angry, too?”
The question took him by surprise and his expression changed. “Yeah, I guess a little. Like Eden, I don’t understand why you couldn’t come home.”
They were never going to understand how she felt at the time or how fragile her emotional state was. She placed strips of bacon on paper towels and then onto a paper plate. “Then I guess it’s safe to say that you’re never going to forgive me.”
“I didn’t say that, Leah. We all need some time to adjust to this new situation. I can’t just snap my fingers and make us a family again. Too much has happened. But I will be here for you and the baby. You don’t have to doubt that for a minute.”
She didn’t. Although she was happy he was here, her heart wanted so much more. But, like he’d said, too much had happened. The days ahead would be trying.
“I decided I’m hungry,” Eden said from the doorway.
“Well, come on in, baby girl. Your mother is making bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches.”
“I can help.” She walked to stand by Leah and stared at the bacon on the paper plate. “What’s that?”
“It’s cooked bacon you buy at the grocery store,” Leah told her.
“Grandma fries hers.”
“I remember. Kate makes everything from scratch.”
“Yeah,” Eden replied. “What do you want me to do?”
“There’s tea in the refrigerator. You can fix your father and yourself a glass.”
Falcon took a seat at the table, watching them. He’d left his hat in the living room, and she liked it when he didn’t wear his hat. Of course, she liked it when he wore his hat, too. There was just something vulnerable about him without a Stetson, though. So many years and she just wanted to keep staring at him. She brought herself out of her reverie and placed the bacon in the microwave.
Alma stomped in wearing her flowered chenille robe with cold cream on her face and a satin thing she always wore around her hair when she went to bed. “What’s going on...? My, oh, my.” Her eyes centered on Eden.
Her daughter stepped forward. “Hi, I’m Eden.”
“You don’t have to tell me that, child. You look just like your mother.”
“That’s what my dad says.”
“It’s true.” Alma’s eyes swung to Falcon. “You made a fast trip, Mr. Cowboy.”
He thumbed toward Eden. “I had to bring the kid.”
Alma clapped her hands. “This is so nice.”
“It is, isn’t it?” Leah continued to make the sandwiches and Alma noticed. “Let me do that. You go visit with Mr. Cowboy.”
Leah shook her head. “No. I’m fixing supper for my family. I got it, but thanks.”
Alma hesitated, but eventually went back to her room. Leah was determined to spend this time alone with Falcon and Eden.
“We can use paper plates instead of real plates,” Eden said. “That way no one has to do dishes. Zane and I are the dishwashers at the ranch.”
“You put dishes in the dishwasher,” Falcon reminded her.
“It’s still doing dishes.”
“You poor thing.”
Leah laughed, something she hadn’t done in a long time. It vibrated through her whole body and made her feel alive again. This was what she’d been missing—the rest of her.
“Who is Zane?” she asked. He had to be the boy Leah had seen with Eden when she’d gone back to Horseshoe.
“Jude’s son,” Falcon replied.
“Is he the only cousin?”
“Yep.” Eden carried glasses of tea to the table. “He’s enough.” Her daughter turned to her. “Paper plates?”
“Oh, yes.” She’d gotten sidetracked hearing about the family. “We have some in the pantry. I’ll get...” The room swayed and Leah grabbed the granite countertop. “Oh.”
“Are you okay?” Eden shouted.
In an instant Falcon was at her side, holding her elbow. “Can you walk to the table?”
She nodded, still feeling dizzy, but she made it to the table with Falcon’s help. A look of fear was on her daughter’s face and Leah hated that. “I’m okay. I just have these every now and then. I’m okay, really.”
“Can I get you anything?” Eden asked.
“A glass of water would be nice.” She didn’t really want water, but she felt Eden needed to do something to make herself feel better.
Falcon sat next to her. “How often do you have these spells?” His voice was low so Eden couldn’t hear.
“I’m okay, Falcon.”
Eden brought the water, preventing Falcon from saying anything else. Sipping, Leah had a moment to regroup. Falcon got up and went to help Eden with the meal. Nothing much was said as they ate and Leah felt a pang of regret that they were now being careful of what they said to her or what they did.
Afterward, Eden put the few dishes they’d used in the dishwasher and Falcon went to get their suitcases out of the truck. Leah and Eden went upstairs and she showed her daughter to her bedroom right across from hers. Falcon brought in the suitcases.
“What’s in this thing, Eden? It’s heavy.”
“My stuff. That’s all.” She took the case from her father.
Falcon and Leah left Eden putting up her things. “You can use the room next door,” Leah told Falcon.
His eyes narrowed. “Fine, but since you’re having dizzy spells and you fainted at the ranch, I’d feel better being closer to you. Anything could happen. Like I said in the kitchen, we just can’t be husband and wife again so fast. We need time, but you also need me.”
“I’ll be fine, Falcon.”
“No, you won’t, and no matter how much you protest I will never believe it. I’ll put my things in the other room, but I’ll sleep in yours.”
She was stunned for a moment and then walked into her room so Eden wouldn’t hear them. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Because...you know...”
“You don’t think we can sleep in a bed without having sex?”
Warmth suffused her whole body and she feared it showed on her face. “We haven’t so far.”
“I’m staying in here, Leah. That might make me controlling, but I’m not leaving you alone for something to happen during the night. I need to be here with you.”
The warmth settled in her heart. “Okay.” She gave in easily.
While Falcon went to put up his stuff in the other bathroom and to take a shower, Leah took a moment to gather her thoughts. Things were happening too fast but she was powerless to stop what she had started by returning to Horseshoe and her family.
She sat on the bed. Had she done the right thing in returning to Horseshoe? Of course, she told herself, she had no other options. For years she yearned to see her daughter and Falcon, and she had to take that step for her own sanity. She could handle a little attitude from her daughter because she never realized until today how much she needed her family.
Falcon was saying good-night to Eden and she could see him through the doorway. He had on pajamas. When did he start wearing pajamas? When they’d been married, he wore briefs or nothing at all, but having a little girl in the house had really changed him.
Should she say good-night to Eden or just leave well enough alone? Not saying good-night wasn’t an option. She walked into the room as Falcon was leaving. “Night, baby girl.”
“Night, Daddy,” Eden called.
Leah hesitated only for a moment. “Good night, Eden,” she said.
“Night,” Eden replied, snuggling under the com
forter.
“If there’s anything you need, I’m just across the hall.”
“I won’t need anything.”
The words were clipped, and Leah gave up. “Good night, then.”
She went back to her room and paused as she saw Falcon stretched out beneath the sheet and comforter. It had been a long time since they’d shared a bed and her nerves tingled in anticipation.
“You call her baby girl?”
Falcon punched up his pillow. “Yeah. I guess she’s getting a little old for that.”
Leah removed her robe and laid it over a chair. “I don’t think she’ll ever get too old for that. You have a good relationship with her.”
“Are you wearing that to bed?”
She looked down at her pj’s. “Yes. Where else would I wear it?”
“Um...nothing. It’s just...”
Flipping off the light, she paused for a second and then slipped into bed.
Silence ensued as the darkness enveloped them. Suddenly, his voice came. “How come you don’t want me to touch you?”
She turned on her side to face him. “I didn’t say that.”
“Yes, you did. Earlier today.”
“I was feeling really conflicted then.”
“And now?”
She took a long time before she answered because she wanted to get it right. “I’m glad you’re here. I really am.”
“You’ll let me know if you’re feeling dizzy or faint?”
She thought about his question for a moment. “Yes.”
“We can get through this and hopefully both you and the baby will do well.”
And then what? she wondered, but what she said was, “When did you get to be so understanding?”
“Life either makes you or breaks you and I decided after my dad’s death that I had to be strong for Eden and my family. I couldn’t yell or scream or take out my frustrations on them. I had to learn control.”
“I’m so sorry about John. He was a really nice person, but even I could see he was tormented by the shooting of Ezra McCray.”
“Yeah. It has affected us all.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Falcon.”
“Hmm?”
“Do you know what happened to my aunt?”
“She sold the house in Horseshoe and moved closer to her older daughter in Fort Worth. Nancy eventually moved there, too. Your aunt died about five years ago.”
“Oh.” A pain settled around her heart at the loss of someone who had loved her and tried to raise her right. “She must have been so disappointed in me.”
“Not really. She just said she’d wished she’d been there for you.”
Even though her aunt was strict, she had a loving heart, and Leah felt the loss in a way she couldn’t describe.
There was silence again and all Leah’s thoughts turned to the tumor and the baby and her uncertain future.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being so understanding.”
“Try telling that to my brothers.”
She smiled in the darkness, remembering how the Rebel boys had fought. Being Rebels they didn’t seem to have a choice but to use their fists. It was in their DNA, Kate Rebel had once said.
Without a word, she curled up in the bed, loving the scent of manly soap and a masculinity that was all Falcon. What would he say if she asked him to hold her? Three little words ached in her throat and she wanted to say them so badly, but it was too soon. She rested her head on the pillow and drifted into peaceful sleep, knowing he was only inches away.
Chapter Fourteen
A time to be strong...
Falcon settled into city life. He thought he would feel like a caged animal since he was used to the outdoors and spent very little time in the house. The tension between Leah and Eden kept him on his toes, though.
He’d only planned to stay a couple of weeks, but soon found Leah needed him. Awake at 5 a.m. every morning, he checked to make sure Leah was okay and then went to his room to dress and call Quincy and his mom. They went over ranch business so Falcon could keep up with what was happening. So far everything was fine.
Eden had classes in the morning and she couldn’t come out of her room until all her assignments were done. That was the rule.
He and Leah spent a solid week in doctors’ offices. They met with the obstetrician, an anesthesiologist, a neonatal doctor and the nursing and rehab team who would be handling Leah after the operation. He was impressed with how Dr. Morris was on top of things. Dr. McNeil did a thorough evaluation of Leah and the fetus and assured them the baby at this time was at no risk. They felt much better afterward.
Falcon had just about reached his limit with Eden’s petulant attitude. She answered when Leah spoke to her but had very little interaction with her mother. Knowing she was going through an emotional upheaval, Falcon gave her time. But his patience was running thin.
One evening as he was getting ready for bed he heard Eden’s agitated voice and he hurried down the hall to see what was wrong. Leah was laying on the bed and Eden was leaning over her, a worried expression on her face.
“Are you okay?” Eden asked.
“Y-yes, I just need a moment. A wet washcloth for my forehead would be nice.”
Eden darted into the bathroom and Falcon stepped back out of sight, giving mother and daughter this time alone. He could see that Leah probably had another fainting spell but was okay.
“Does that help?” Eden asked as she placed the washcloth on Leah’s forehead.
“Yes, thank you.”
“I better get Dad.”
“I’m fine, Eden. Just sit with me.”
“Okay.” Eden sat on the bed next to her mother. “Is it the tumor?”
“I’m sick to my stomach so I think it’s the baby.”
“It’s kind of weird thinking I’ll have a brother or sister.”
“It’s weird for me, too.”
“Yeah,” Eden muttered. “Tell me what you need and I’ll get it.”
Leah looked at her daughter. “I just need you not to be so angry with me.”
A tear slipped from Eden’s eye. “I—I’m sorry I...”
Leah touched Eden’s face. “Don’t apologize, sweetie, I understand.”
After that, things changed drastically. Eden was at her mother’s beck and call. Her nurturing nature had finally kicked in and every day it was a pleasure to watch how his daughter changed into the young woman he knew she was.
* * *
LEAH WAS TAKING baby steps with her daughter, giving her time to adjust to the new situation. Little by little she was coming around. Eden now talked to her instead of at her, but she still had not called Leah by her name or by “mother.” Leah didn’t know if that was ever going to happen.
One evening she came out of the bathroom to find Eden standing in her doorway with an arm full of photo albums.
“Are you busy?” Eden asked tentatively.
“No, sweetie. What have you got there?”
“I brought some of my baby pictures in case you wanted to see me when I was a baby and a little girl.”
That’s what she had in the suitcase that was so heavy. Leah’s heart fluttered with excitement. Even though Eden was mad at her she’d still brought the pictures. That said more than words could.
With a quavering voice, she said, “Of course I want to see them, every last one of them. Let’s sit on the bed and you can explain each one.”
Looking through her daughter’s life was a surreal moment because Leah could see her daughter grow. Tears filled her eyes because she knew she would never get those years back. She’d p
aid dearly for that and she hoped she didn’t have to pay any more. She would grab this time with her child and enjoy every moment.
“What the...” Falcon came into the room in pajamas and stared at all the photos on the bed. “So that’s what you had in the suitcase?”
“Yeah. I thought...my mother would like to see them.”
On impulse Leah leaned over and kissed her daughter’s cheek. “She does.”
“But, baby, it’s late and your mother needs to get her rest.”
Eden made a face at him. “Just a few more minutes.” She pointed to a picture. “That’s my first room where I had to sleep all by myself and I didn’t like it one bit. I slept in Dad’s room until I was about three and then he said I was getting bigger and needed my own room. We went shopping and bought new furniture and I was excited until Dad turned out the light. Even the night-light didn’t help. I cried and cried, but he made me sleep in my room.”
Leah glanced at Falcon. “You didn’t?”
“Yeah,” Eden rambled on, “and when he wouldn’t come get me, I grabbed my My Little Pony pillow and blanket and snuck into his room and slept on the floor at the foot of his bed. He almost stepped on me the next morning. But that didn’t change his mind. No.” Eden shook her head. “Dad said I had to sleep in my room, but I did the same thing again and again.”
Falcon sat on the other side of the bed and pushed up against the headboard. “I was determined she was going to sleep in her room, but it didn’t come without a battle.”
“What did you do?” Leah asked in a breathless voice.
“I had to negotiate. Eden’s whole life has been a negotiation. She wanted her own horse, so I told her if she’d sleep in her room, I’d buy her a pony. That did the trick. When she was five, I wanted her to wear dresses to church. She refused. She wanted red boots, so I told her if she would wear a dress, I’d buy the boots. When she was ten—”
“We get it, Dad.”
Falcon and Eden had such a good relationship and it warmed Leah’s heart. She missed so much, but she wasn’t going to dwell on that. Her daughter was here and making an effort. That’s what counted. The relationship that they would build now was what mattered the most.
