by Trina Solet
"Trying," Jeff said modestly and Ned gave him a different book, The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear.
"The title is half the book," Ned told him.
Jeff read it in his usual, deep voice, not in the silly way Ned did. Listening to him, Ned was entranced, almost forgetting that this was for Mina's benefit. Mina liked it too. Her eyes were wide, like she didn't know what was going to happen in the story now that Jeff was the one reading it.
Then it was time to tuck her in again and kiss her good night. She pointed to the top of her head and Jeff kissed her there. As part of their bedtime routine, Ned told her good night in Russian and she giggled.
"What was that?" Jeff asked.
"It was supposed to be good night, but I guess I didn't say it right. I'm hopeless," he said and gave Mina another kiss as she reached up her arms and hugged him.
Once Mina was asleep, for all practical purposes Ned was alone with Jeff. The house was fairly dark and somehow it seemed smaller to Ned, like the space was shrinking around him and bringing him closer to Jeff. Ned told himself that the rising tension he felt was pointless. His pent up desires weren't going to find a release with Jeff.
But when Jeff went into the living room and sat down in front of his laptop, Ned lingered in the doorway, staring at him. Then he caught himself being creepy and he stopped. He retreated to his den and sat down behind his desk. There were a dozen things he could be doing, but he couldn't focus on any of them. Then Ned heard Jeff clearing his throat and looked up to find him standing in his doorway.
"Maybe you're busy, but I was wondering if you wanted to watch that From Russia with Love DVD. You said you never saw it," Jeff said.
Trying not to look at him, Ned busied himself shuffling random papers while trying to talk himself out of saying yes. But Jeff had sounded so tentative when he asked, Ned just couldn't find it in himself to say no. Abandoning any pretense of being busy, Ned said, "It's about time I saw it. OK. Let's do it."
This was such a bad idea, but here he was getting up from behind his desk, leaving the safety of his den and following Jeff into the living room. Briefly, Ned considered sitting in the armchair, but that seemed sort of unfriendly. So now there he was sitting with Jeff on the couch, watching an old James Bond movie, which wasn't half bad.
The living room was dimly lit by one lamp and the shifting brightness coming from the TV. Noticing that the room wasn't as messy as usual, Ned realized that Jeff must have straightened up in there. But mostly what he noticed was how the light from the TV screen reflected in Jeff's eyes, how smooth his skin was as it stretched over his muscular arms, and how kissable every inch of him looked right now.
Ned got up suddenly and Jeff paused the movie.
"We should have snacks and drinks for this," he decided, but he didn't let Jeff come to help him. The whole point was to run and hide from him for a few minutes so he could get his head together.
It only worked a little bit. Ned came back with a snack mix and a drink for each of them. That gave his hands something to do, but his eyes still wandered to Jeff. The whole time, Ned had to force himself to focus on the movie and not on how temptingly close Jeff was. But how could he when the outline of his strong jaw was shadowed by stubble? All Ned wanted was just to feel it, first with his fingertips then with his lips and his tongue.
The constant torture while he split his attention between Jeff and the movie wasn't the worst of it. That moment came when the movie ended and Jeff turned to him. He looked like he was about to say something, but no words came from his parted lips. He only stared at Ned's mouth as Ned stared at his.
The moment stretched out full of terrible possibilities. Ned breathed hard and willed himself to look away from his tempting mouth. He only managed to raise his gaze to Jeff's blue eyes, but that was even worse. Jeff's hand shifted on the couch and covered Ned's. The heat of his touch was followed by the pressure of Jeff's strong fingers closing around his hand.
Jeff now held his hand and used it to pull Ned closer to him. At first, Ned went unwillingly, but it was more like he was falling toward Jeff, toward his mouth. Their lips met, sealed over each other and Ned didn't see an end in sight, just endless gliding of their lips and tongues. By sheer force of will, he stopped, pulled free and stood up.
"The movie was pretty good. I'm glad I finally got to see it," he said, his voice tight. Breathing hard, his heart racing, he didn't dare look at Jeff.
After staring at a random spot on the floor for a minute, he got out of there. He had to lock himself in his bedroom and throw away the key. He had to catch his breath and come to his senses. He had to get over his disbelief. Did that really happen? Jeff made a move on him, and somehow Ned found it in himself to stop when all he wanted was to keep kissing him, wrap him in his arms and never let go.
Since he couldn't sleep anyway, maybe for the rest of his life, Ned called Nora. He had no intention of telling her what just happened with Jeff, but he couldn't help talking about him. Right now, Jeff was all he could think about so he told her a few harmless things about how he was making himself useful around the house.
"Jeff is fixing everything that's been bugging me forever. There isn't one thing in this house that squeaks."
"How about the bedsprings?" Nora asked.
"Don't," he warned her but that didn't even slow her down.
"A guy who's good with his hands, good with tools, I bet a guy like that is something in the sack."
"He's my child's manny. Keep a decent thought in your head for five minutes," he told her.
"Why should I? He's not my manny or my hot, young student," she said.
"He's not my student either," Ned said defensively. "There's nothing inappropriate about..." He bit back any other incriminating things he was about to say.
She chuckled at him knowingly. Well, it wasn't like he was doing a good job fooling her before that little outburst.
"You took the first step. You brought a guy home. You even moved him in. Now seal the deal. Don't deny yourself what was obviously meant to be," she told him.
"Meant to be? You're crazy," Ned told her then he shifted the subject to what was going on with her. If he kept talking about Jeff, he would never get out of this conversation alive.
Chapter 13
The night when he watched a James Bond movie with Ned was constantly on Jeff's mind. Things went back to normal after that, but he wasn't sure what to think. Was that a close call? A bullet dodged? If he had pushed things further, would Ned have told him off or let him down gently? All he knew was that neither one of them went for it.
Today he and Mina were meeting Ned for lunch on campus, but first they went to visit Mariah at her usual spot. Before they reached her, Mina spotted a butterfly flying near some bushes and she went over to check it out. That was just as well. Ned kind of wanted to talk to Mariah alone. This was the first time he was seeing her since she told Ned about his living situation.
Jeff went up to her and waited for her to notice him. As soon as she looked up from her books and saw it was him, she set aside what she was doing and her expression turned serious. "Jeff. Hi. Look, I'm sorry if I..." she started to say but Jeff jumped in.
"Are you about to apologize for telling Ned that I was homeless?"
"And if I was?" she asked defiantly.
As an answer, Jeff pulled a bag of chips, a bag of pretzels and a can of Sprite from behind his back.
"So I guess I'm in big trouble," Mariah said as she took them from him.
"You did me a favor. Ned gave me a live-in job as a manny." Jeff still couldn't believe it. "How come you're still here? Summer classes?"
"Yeah. I'm getting my master's, but I'm not stopping there. I'm going after a doctorate too. But hell if I'm not getting sick of being in school. I want to speed through, get my ass out of here while I still got something to offer to my future girlfriend."
"Future girlfriend? Is there a shortage of girls around here?" Jeff looked around, not that he cared if
there were any girls around or not. Mina was the only girl he noticed and she was trying to sneak up on that black and yellow striped butterfly.
"Who has the time? Girlfriends want to do stuff. Look at this," Mariah said and pointed at herself. "A girl wouldn't give this body two minutes peace."
Jeff dutifully looked her over. She had a lot going on but none of it was of any interest to him. "I'll take your word for it."
"And you and Ned. Are you two even going to try to keep your hands off each other?" she asked.
"You said it yourself. Ned doesn't want to mess around with someone like me," Jeff reminded her. He didn't mention that he already got out of hand with Ned.
"Now that you're living in close proximity, that deck has been reshuffled. It's a whole new game now," she declared.
"I'll jump right on that and ruin this whole having a job and a place to live thing I just lucked into," Jeff told her, or the rational part of him did anyway. Truthfully, he didn't know how he was supposed to stay in control of himself when he was around Ned day in and day out. He already failed at it once.
Around midday, he and Mina bought lunch to eat with Ned on the benches outside by the Art Department. The Art Department always got Mina excited. There were plenty of weird sculptures on the lawn for her to wonder at. After peering at them from every side, she looked at Jeff for an explanation, but he only gave her a search me shrug. The classrooms and studios had big windows to let in plenty of light. They also allowed Mina to peer inside and watch the students busy at work.
After poking around a little bit, they sat down to wait for Ned. Mina swiveled around all the time looking for more butterflies while Jeff kept an eye out for Ned. Finally he spotted Ned coming to meet them, but he wasn't alone. A really good-looking young guy was with him, probably a brownnosing student. If he came to join them, Jeff was going to lose it. Luckily, Ned and the good-looking guy parted ways.
Somehow Jeff managed not to glare after him. While Ned greeted Mina, Jeff pulled their lunch out of the takeout bag and served it up. He was jealous that the professor was talking to any guy who wasn't him. One quick kiss cut short by Ned's escape and Jeff thought he owned the man.
"What's on your mind?" Ned asked him. He must have noticed his weird mood.
Jeff wasn't about to tell him the truth, but he decided to ask him about something more practical. "I noticed the screens over at the Lawrences' house are kind of in bad shape. I talked to them about it and offered to fix them. I can do it on my day off."
"Are you charging for that?" Ned asked.
"Oh, no. They take care of Mina. I was going to do it for free," Jeff told him.
"Actually, I'd like to pay for it," Ned offered.
"No one needs to pay for it. It's a favor. They already have a roll of screen I can use," Jeff said.
"Then we can go over and do it together," Ned said, surprising him. "I'm not handy, but another pair of hands should help with a job like this."
"It's a date," Jeff said.
"What?" Ned asked him.
Jeff stammered, "It's... It's not a big job. I was just thinking maybe we could even do it today. It's only a few screens." He talked fast and hoped Ned would forget what he heard.
"Sure. I'll meet you over there when I get home from work," Ned said.
Later on, all three of them were at the Lawrences'. Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence were grateful for their help and delighted to have Mina visiting them.
"We miss having little grandkids. Big grandkids are no fun," Mrs. Lawrence said.
Mina went inside their house to play with their cats, while Jeff and Ned worked outside. What they were doing wasn't difficult, Ned only made it look that way.
"Was I born with two left hands?" he asked. He had trouble wedging the screen into the frame without dislodging what was already in place.
"I think I told Mina that the left hand is for holding. So why don't you hold the frame, and let me do the rest," Jeff told him.
"And I said lefty was only good for moral support. It looks to me like I was correct. You could have done all this by yourself, probably faster," Ned grumbled.
"Where's the fun in that?" Jeff asked and smiled at him. Then he quickly turned away. The afternoon sun brought out the gold in Ned's eyes. Jeff couldn't risk looking into them too long.
"It's nice of you to do this. But Mrs. Lawrence is baking us some cookies, so we aren't working for free," Ned said. "It's a vicious cycle. You keep doing nice things for people. They keep doing nice things for you. It never ends."
"Yes, that is terrible," Jeff said with a smirk, but then he noticed how Ned was looking at him. It was a yearning look that almost made Jeff lean over and kiss him. As Ned was helping him, their heads were close together. He could have done it easily – close the distance, let their lips touch, take a chance that the look was an invitation and not all in his head.
He didn't though. He didn't want to throw away the closeness they shared. The stronger his feelings for Ned, the more he had to lose if he made the wrong move. Ned already put a stop to things once. If Jeff tried something again, Ned might get angry, turn his back on him. Jeff couldn't bear the thought of it.
After he was in bed that night but sleepless, Jeff called Jin. He was just checking in with him, updating him on his new job, but soon he started telling him about what happened with Ned, how he kissed him.
"What's the big deal? You got the ball rolling. Next chance you get, give him another push. Show him you're really into him and his manly beard," Jin said.
"I can't risk it. If I get too aggressive, he might feel uncomfortable having me in his house. He might ask me to leave and not let me take care of Mina. I'd be out a place to sleep, a job, plus I'd miss Mina. And Ned," he added since Jin kept saying, "And? And? And?" until he did.
Jeff got off the phone with him only to end up at the same place where he started – in over his head, hopeful but afraid, waiting for some sign from Ned that he felt something for him too.
Chapter 14
On Saturday, Ned was putting away the lunch dishes and listening to Nora bitching on the phone to him.
"You're over there in your happy home, with your hunky manny while I'm cooped up in my apartment all day. I'm so sick of it. I'm ready to move. I should have taken that place with the little balcony," Nora said.
"Come on over for dinner, you can meet Jeff. We'll drink lemonade in the back yard," Ned offered.
"The real stuff, right? You try and serve me that powdered crap and I'm leaving," she threatened.
"I'll pick up some lemons," he promised her.
Done talking to her, he went to see what Jeff and Mina were up to. Since they were busy playing a video game, Ned filled them in on dinner plans then decided to go shopping by himself. While he was at the store, he picked up some corn and some veggie sausages to throw on the barbeque.
When he got back and dropped off the groceries in the kitchen, he found that Jeff and Mina had moved on to a different activity. "What are you guys doing?" he asked. Looking over Jeff's shoulder, he could see that a YouTube video was playing and he could hear Russian being spoken.
"Watching an old Russian lady make a cake. Mina sometimes talks back to her in Russian," Jeff told him.
Now Mina turned her face up to Ned. "Make cake," she said and pointed at the video.
"I'm afraid cakes are beyond my skill level, sweetie. Maybe Jeff wants to give it a try," Ned said and gave him an evil grin.
"I'll barbeque a cake. We can serve it to your friend when she comes over," Jeff said.
"Right. Better pull that grill out and dust off the cobwebs," Ned said and headed into the back yard where the sun was still bright, and a few flowers had grown across the lawn.
"It does work, right?" Jeff asked, worried now that Ned was talking about cobwebs.
"I assume it does. It came with the house. I've never touched it," Ned said.
Jeff grumbled and followed Ned to the side of the house. On the opposite side from Mina's dollhouse, t
he barbeque sat under an awning and a fitted cover. It looked like the cover had some holes in it though. Ned gingerly lifted the cover from the barbeque. The lid was pitted with rust here and there, but he still hoped the rest would be OK.
"See. There's a bag of charcoal," he said with a triumphant smile. He didn't know it was there until he pulled up the cover and found it sitting under the grill.
"Did that come with a house too?" Jeff asked.
"Yes."
"It was under the cover. So maybe it's still good," Jeff said though he looked skeptical. "I'll cross my fingers that it will light."
"Don't bother," Ned said as he opened up the lid of the barbeque. "The grate is rusted through." As he was covering it up again, he noticed Mina peering up at him and Jeff.
"No cake?" she said.
"I guess when you said you'd make a cake on the barbeque, she took your word for it," Ned said.
"Sorry," Jeff said to her. "We have some ice cream in the fridge. Maybe we can make an ice cream cake."
Mina looked intrigued by that idea.
Though he was busy with the food and drinks, the closer it got to Nora's arrival, the more nervous Ned was about her meeting Jeff. Mainly he was worried that she would be herself and speak her mind. As soon as he opened the door to her, he was going to warn her to behave. He didn't get the chance to say more than hi to her as she brushed right past him and into the house.
"Don't be yourself, Nora," he yelled after her.
She went out into the back yard where Jeff and Mina were waiting. As Ned followed her out, he saw that she was letting Mina do the introductions.
"Now, Mina, this here is a hunk. Remember that word. Hunk," Nora was telling her while pointing at Jeff, but Mina refused to be brainwashed.
Instead of saying hunk, Mina said, "Jeff."
"If you insist," Nora said to her then she took a seat in one of the lawn chairs Jeff bought for the back yard. "These are new. But I don't see a barbeque going. What gives, Ned? Don't you know that when you invite someone to your back yard, there should be barbeque."
