by L. Loren
I shook my head knowing I was about to get fired in my first week. What would my parents say? It didn’t really matter. I had been thinking about moving out on my own anyway. It seemed like I was being lazy from the outside looking in, but I was really waiting to hear from this job up in Jacksonville I really wanted. It was the only thing I ever wanted to do – working for a non-profit organization that helped young women and girls who were victims of sex trafficking. No other job was worth my energy. In college they said you should go for your dreams and I was putting everything I had into getting that job. Now, if they would just reciprocate.
Steeling my posture, I walked the green mile to face my fate. If only John Coffey was in there waiting to ‘take it back’, I wouldn’t have to worry. I knocked on the door and waited for Babydoll to reply. Nothing. I knew she was in there. She was playing games. I lifted my hand to knock again and this time received a cold ass response.
“Enter.”
Damn! That’s what we’re doing now? Cool.
“Lika said you wanted...”
I stopped mid-sentence when I saw my mother’s glaring mug plastered on the 65-inch TV hanging on the office wall. I know this bitch didn’t call my mom, like I was a twelve-year-old having a temper tantrum. Who does that?
“Cinta! Girl, what is this I am hearing from your auntie? Have you lost your ever-loving mind? Why is your aunt calling me telling me you are carrying on with some trashy biker?”
“Mom, he is not trash. His name is...”
“I don’t give a flying fuck what his name is. According to Babydoll, the man looks like he may be harboring all kinds of diseases – Hepatitis A, B and C!”
“Mom, he’s not dirty. Eew. Give me some credit. Smoke is a very nice man.”
“Not if he’s dry humping you in the lobby of a public hotel. Why are you letting that man defile your body in public? I heard all the tawdry details. Just damn nasty. I raised you better than that.”
“If you would please let me finish.”
“No, what you need to do is explain what is going on in that empty head of yours. How long have you even known him? Answer me, girl.”
“We met yesterday when we were stuck in traffic. He’s a really nice guy, mom.”
“So, you let him run all up in you after knowing him for less than a week? Oh, yeah. I heard about you ducking out of work. You just started there and already you’re fucking customers? I bet he had you on your knees sucking his little thing too. Just damn shameful. How much did he pay you?”
What? Did my own mother just call me a prostitute? I stood there looking at her in disbelief. There were no words for a few seconds. Literally, my mind blanked out on me. My heart contracted so tightly I thought maybe I was having a heart attack. How could she think so little of me? Fighting back the tears, I responded as soon as my brain thawed. She had been screaming something at me, but I couldn’t process anything else she said after that.
“Mom, how dare you? I am not now, nor have I ever been a hoe. Contrary to the rumors, I do not sleep with men for money. I am not a hooker! That was so disrespectful.”
“Let’s not go there. You don’t know the meaning of respect, little girl.”
“Stop! Don’t talk to me like that. I have taken a lot from you over the years, but no more. All I want to know is why you hate me so much.”
An evil marred her face, like she had been waiting for the day to say what she was about to tell me. I held my breath, still fighting back the tears that were banging on my eyelids to get out.
“You’re right. I do hate you. You took my husband from me. Landon and I were happy and in love. We used to have fun together. We traveled. Went out to eat weekly. He used to take me dancing and do romantic things for me. Once you came along, all I heard about was Cinta this and Cinta that. You became his priority. He never forgot me. I was just an afterthought. I was replaced by my own child. My whole life became about what you wanted and what you needed.”
Wow! Wasn’t that what was supposed to happen when you had a child? Their needs became priority over your selfish ones. I asked the question and now I knew. I was unwanted and in her way.
“Well, I guess you’ve taken care of that little issue because my beloved daddy won’t even take my calls anymore. You have filled his head with lies and poisoned him against me. You win mom. I can’t do this with you anymore. I’m done.”
The damn burst and tears streamed down my face like I was standing in a rainstorm. No one had ever hurt me so badly in my life. How could she hate her own flesh and blood? She helped to create me, but hated me because I needed my parents’ attention? It made no sense. She may be insane. Whatever her problem was, it was hers. I no longer had to suffer because of it. My auntie called after me as I shot out of that office as quickly as I could. There was no telling what she wanted, but I wasn’t stopping to listen. I rounded the corner and ran smack dead into the muscled chest of a man. My man. Well, the man I wanted to be mine, but who knew what we were? I expected him to ghost me after he got what he wanted anyway.
“Hey there Baby Bird. I was just looking for you. You snuck out before I... Wait why the fuck are you crying? What asshole do I have to murder?”
He took me in his arms and held me so tightly I never wanted him to let me go. That show of tenderness was just what I needed. The tears came harder and faster. I tried my best to explain, but my words were jumbled. I was a mess. We stood in that hallway linked together with him rocking me back in forth and rubbing my head. It felt so good I managed to calm down. That was until Babydoll spied us and started running her damn mouth.
“Cinta, I need you to get your ass back to work! If you plan on keeping this job, you’re going to have to kick this biker to the curb. Did you hear me girl? Get to work.”
“Hold the fuck up! Don’t speak to Bird like that. Say that shit again and I swear... Lady, I don’t hit women, but you’re testing my patience. I guess I know why she’s so upset now.”
“No, you’re the reason she’s so upset. You are nothing but trouble, strolling in here like you own the world and seducing this girl. And her dumb ass fell for it, too. She needs to learn about the world. Her mother, my beloved sister, sent her here for me to teach her. That’s exactly what I plan to do.”
Smoke’s grip tightened around me as his posture became stiff and abrasive. His hackles were up, as the old people used to say. It was about to go down.
“You couldn’t teach a frog how to leap. You’re rude, mean and pretty much the nastiest person I have met, and I know some guttersnipes. You don’t have to worry about teaching Bird about the world. She knows more than you give her credit for. If her mama sent her to you, her judgement is questionable too.”
“Why do you insist on calling this girl Bird? She has a name. It is Cinta. Use it.”
“That’s between Bird and me. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we were headed out.”
He looked down at me and gave me a reassuring smile before guiding me across the lobby toward the exit. Auntie Babydoll followed closely behind spouting nonsense about me getting back to work. I had no intention of working anymore in that hotel. How was I supposed to feel safe knowing how she and my mother conspired against me to get me out of my daddy’s life. Nope!
Chapter 6
Smoke
I
awoke to an empty bed. The lack of body heat made me restless and drew me out of my sexy dream. My girl was gone, but she left her ripped thong on my pillow as a reminder that she had been there. Apparently, she was satisfied because she left a note about me calling her later, if I wanted. Damn right I wanted. Did she think she was a one off? Oh, I had to rectify that immediately. But damn, what was that smell? I guess I put in too much work with Bird. The funk was real. One hot shower, then it’s off to find my woman.
When I saw Bird come around the corner my eyes were stuck on her beautiful breast as they bounced out a tune as she walked. She was gorgeous. However my lust turned to rage when I realized my girl was crying. Wh
at the fuck? My head almost exploded. I wanted to wrap my hands around somebody’s neck and choke the life out of them. I had been around the club too much. The guys were rubbing on me. I held Bird as she tucked her head in my chest and poured tears. As soon as she was feeling better, I was kicking someone’s ass!
Then the wicked witch of the east came around the corner. No surprise her boss was the one I would need to take out. No doubt she was in trouble because I convinced her to join me in my suite. I had to fix this. When her boss yelled at her it took everything in me not to snatch her soul out her body and dangle it from the ceiling. After Babydoll was finished with her threats and down talk, I got my girl out of there. She never had to go back as far as I was concerned. What kind of name was Babydoll for a grown ass woman, anyway?
As soon as we reached the parking lot, I stopped to check on Bird.
“Baby, are you alright? What do you need from me?”
“I’m better now that you’re here. I’m sorry for crying. I just got into this huge fight with my mom and my aunt was on her side, of course. I think I just broke up with my mom.”
She looked so sad all I wanted to do was fix it. I needed to put a smile on her beautiful face again. I knew just the trick. In my experience, when girls cry, they want food to make them feel better. Bingo! I was starving anyway.
“Come on Bird, let’s go get some food. You can tell me all about your fight with your mom over a plate.”
The smile that came over her face was worth watching her cry. My girl was so much more beautiful with that smile. She was stunning and I was a gonner. I would do anything to make sure that smile stayed there permanently.
“Smoke, I can’t go out in this stupid uniform. Wait, I never took my bags to my room.”
Bird walked us over to her Audi and opened the hatch. She dug around inside her Louis Vuitton™ suitcase and pulled out a change of clothes and some more fancy undies. I tried snatching them from her as she jumped into the backseat.
“Babe, I’m gonna change. Can you block the window, so nobody sees?”
“As long as I can take a quick peek.”
“Smoke! Come on, I’m serious. Unless you want random men gawking at my goods. Then just move away. No matter either way.”
She started laughing because she knew she had me. I didn’t want another man within 50 yards of her, let alone watching her get dressed. I guarded that window like it was Fort Knox when it housed the nation’s gold. I had it under good authority there wasn’t any gold there anymore, but that’s a story for another day.
When Bird exited that car wearing that designer pair of cutoffs and t-shirt that said Melanin Beauty, I let out a wolf whistle. She was a bombshell. I wanted her again, but that could wait. My Baby Bird needed comfort food and I was going to deliver on my promise.
“Do you know what you want to eat, baby?”
A big smile graced Bird’s face and she rubbed her hands together and wagged her eyebrows. I took that as a yes.
“I sure do. I want breakfast!”
“Breakfast? Bird, it’s 5 o’clock in the evening.”
“I know what time it is, Smoke. I want a big ass omelet with lots of meat and about four pieces of French Toast. Oh, and a huge cup of coffee and some cranberry juice.”
I was thoroughly entertained by this woman. She wasn’t exactly a petite woman. She was more thick-slim, as Mouse would say. That meant she had curves in all the right places, lots of junk in the trunk and a small waist. Fuckin gorgeous.
“Bird, where are you planning on putting all that food?”
“Right here!” She lifted her t-shirt to show her flat stomach and rubbed it. “Get in my belly!”
Shaking my head at her silliness, we made our way down the sidewalk toward a diner I saw earlier in the day. It was easier and quicker to walk than to drive. I would hate to get stuck in all this traffic again. All eyes were on us as we walked into the little restaurant. Though were greeted by a woman who seemed friendly, I could feel the icy stares. What was wrong with these redneck assholes? Hadn’t they ever seen a white man and his black woman in a restaurant before? Shit was on my nerves.
“You’ll get used to it.” Bird leaned in and whispered to me.
“Fuck that. I don’t want to get used to it. They need to mind their own damn business.”
“Smoke, please calm down. I can only handle one crisis at a time.”
“For you I will let it go, but none of these assholes better start any shit.”
My voice carried throughout the room. Most people looked away immediately. The ones who continued to stare caught my death stare. I was used to people staring at me when I was in my Hollywood mode, but nobody knew who I was here. There was no doubt they were just being rude!
We were shown to a booth, sat down and damn if Bird didn’t order exactly what she said she was going to. I had to see this. There was no way she could eat all that food. I decided on a steak, potato and salad for my meal. As we sat eating, Bird explained to me what went down between her mama, aunt and her in that office.
“So, when I got back to the front desk, Lika informed me Babydoll was looking for me and asked for me to come to her office when I returned. I had this story all set in my head to tell her, but when I entered the office, she had called my mom. Had her face up on that huge ass TV like I wanted to see that. Oh, damn, this French toast is bomb!”
She continued scarfing down her food and talking in between bites. I sat and listened, content to watch the show in front of me. She was more entertaining than the movies I made. That was for sure. The women I was used to would never eat this many calories in a week, let alone in one sitting. It was damn refreshing. My thoughts, if you’re hungry EAT!
“Anyway, you should know, my mom and my relationship has never been good. She hates that I am a Daddy’s girl. I’ve always felt it, but today in that office it was confirmed. My mother, my own flesh and blood. The woman who birthed me, told me she hated me because I took my daddy’s attention away from her. What’s more, she called me a prostitute.”
My jaw hung open in utter shock and disbelief. I looked around for the cameras. This had to be some sort of practical joke. Whose mother does that? Was the woman on drugs? Bird seemed like she came from a fine family. Maybe her mother had fallen victim to the opioid crisis. No matter, it pissed me off that my girl was sitting here crying again. In my mind, the woman was not worth any of Bird’s tears. My mom used to tell me stories about her and my sister’s rapport. I knew first-hand mothers and daughters’ relationships could get rocky, but this was beyond. I wanted to take her pain away. Nobody should hold that kind of power over another, but it was the human condition. We loved, we hurt, we survived.
My need to comfort Bird outweighed my anger in the moment so I reached out my hand silently asking for hers. She wiped the syrup from her sticky fingers and placed her little paw in mine. As soon as we touched, the electricity was back. It was truly addictive. I gently pulled her out of her seat and placed her on my lap. Wrapped safely in my arms, she tucked her head into the crook of my shoulder.
“It’s alright Baby Bird. I got you. Just let it all out.”
She allowed herself to be vulnerable with me. I had a feeling she had been holding onto those tears for a very long time. She needed to purge them from her system in order to pick herself up and move on. I held her close as she wrapped her arms around me. I never felt more at home than I did at that moment. This was my woman, and I would do anything for her. As I placed a gentle kiss on her hair, the waitress decided it would be a good time to check on us. I knew her type. She was just being nosey. The woman, whose name tag said Carol, but who introduced herself as Alice, had been staring at us since we sat down.
“Is everything alright?”
“We’re fine. I think you can bring us the check. We’re ready to go.”
That caused Bird to look up at me with the cutest pout on her face. With tear filled eyes she smiled and said. “But I’m not finished with my omelet.�
� Music to my fuckin ears!
We decided to walk off the food and take a look around town. I was fascinated by all the custom bikes and the even more colorful people who owned them. Bikers were unique and stereotypical at the same time. One of my favorite pastimes was watching people in their element. When they thought no one was looking and they could be who they really were without a mask was a great moment to watch. However, the most entertaining time to observe was when those high-spirited people, who had an unnatural need to be seen, started putting on. You know the type. Always in need to be the life of the party. I called it the Tupac syndrome. The insatiable need to have ‘All Eyes on Me’.
Hand in hand we walked down the boulevard enjoying the feel of the sun on our faces. It was hot, but not sweltering. In fact, the heat was welcomed after sitting in that diner who had the air cranked to tundra. Bird was finally laughing and talking about something other than her bitch mother. She was such a vibrant and fun woman. How could anyone hate her, let alone her own mother. I was lost in my thoughts when I felt a tug on my arm. Suddenly I was moving in the opposite direction that I had been going in, causing my body to jerk. What the fuck?
I looked up to see Bird pulling me toward an area with a stage. My first thought was there was a concert happening, but then I saw the sign. You have got to be kidding me. No fuckin’ way.
“Smoke, look! A wet t shirt contest. I’m getting in it.”
“The fuck you are! Bird get back here.”
My words fell on death ears as my vibrant little vixen ran up on stage to enter that contest. There were bikers everywhere just salivating. I kid you not. I watched as drool slid down this one guy’s chin and landed on his cut. There was no way in hell I was going to let that nasty fucker see my girl’s tits. Just as the host of the contest was starting to pour water over Bird’s chest, I raced to the stage, scooped her up and hauled ass out of there, much to the disappointment of the crowd.
