by Zoë Lane
Stunned, I watched his retreating back. I’d thought my frustrations and those of the franchise’s leadership were justified, but now I could see Landyn’s point of view. They had expected this man to essentially carry the team, to be the face of a really expensive experiment. But he knew that going in. All college quarterbacks who make it to the NFL, who become starters, understand the microscope they’ll be under. Throughout their entire college careers, their abilities, their personalities, their stats were picked apart by analysts and judgment passed on whether or not they should play the game.
By the time I got to my car, I had decided Landyn had been preparing for this moment since college. He’d wanted to be a quarterback, and his public image came with the territory. Even Michael Vick had come back from a prison sentence to start for a team.
Landyn could just get over it. If he wants to start, he’ll have to play by the rules.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LANDYN
“Wow. Your dad, huh?”
I swished the gin in my tumbler before downing the last of it. I hated gin, but loved how quickly it gave me a buzz. “Yeah.” I looked Casper in the eyes, pointing the tumbler at him. “Don’t mention this to Lacey. The last thing I need is for her to know her father wants to have a relationship with us again. She’d be terrified.”
“Yeah, dude, no worries. I won’t say a thing.” Cas bit his bottom lip, his eyes scanning my face. “How do you feel about it?” he asked quietly.
I hadn’t time to feel anything, actually. Anything except anger. I’d relived so many memories just walking out of the facility that I had called for an Uber to drive me home. No way I wasn’t impaired.
I shook my head and poured more gin. “Dunno. When I heard his voice…” I closed my eyes, desperately trying to rid my brain of the sound. “It was like it all came back to me, Cas. I never thought I’d see or hear from him again. Never.”
“Even though we’re all in the same city?”
He said it without the sarcasm, so I couldn’t punch him. “Yeah, I know.”
Cas blew out a heavy breath before eyeing the bottle of gin with disdain. He moved it off the island where we sat to the counter far away from my reach. “You don’t need any more of that.”
“What are you, my mother?”
Cas frowned. “You never used to drink, Landyn. Alcoholism is one of your father’s defining characteristics.”
“You saying I have a problem? I need AA?”
“Maybe not AA yet, but…but the fact that you’re drinking. Yeah, I’d say you have a problem. Maybe you should talk to someone. The team has counselors.”
I tossed back the gin in my glass, then coughed. I knew about the counselors. The Rhinos’s orientation session had been very thorough. Casper’s parents had mentioned seeing a psychiatrist years ago. To talk about everything I’d already lived through once? Still haven’t gone.
“It’s nothing, Cas. I have it under control.”
His look was skeptical. “Do you? Because this doesn’t exactly look like control.”
“What doesn’t?”
“You, man,” he said quietly. Casper gripped my shoulder. “You know I’ve got your back. So does Dad. If you need to call him… he’ll take it anytime. Day or night.”
His father was the exact opposite of my own. Never hit his kids, always disciplined with love, encouraged the hell out of them. Cas claimed it was one of the reasons why he hadn’t quit football altogether after his car accident freshman year. His father had made him fight to live.
“Thanks, man. I might do that,” I said, half to placate him.
“Yeah, please. Hell, he’ll even fight your dad if you want him to. He gets so angry whenever he thinks about him that—”
“He thinks of how he can kill him, get rid of the body, and not get caught?” I finished, hopeful.
Cas’s eyes widened at the same time his brows bunched. “Uh, maybe not all of that. But he’d sure like to knock his teeth out and break both his nose and jaw.”
Almost good enough.
Almost.
Death is better.
“I’ll take what I can get.”
“What’s legal, you mean.” Casper chuckled nervously.
Did he think I’d actually kill the guy?
“You tell Rose?”
My head snapped back. “Why would I tell her?”
Casper gave me a sideways look. “Because she’s working on your image. Shouldn’t she know about your father?”
“No,” I stated firmly. “She shouldn’t know. He’s not a problem.”
“Yet.”
I groaned and put my head in my hands, supporting the weight with my elbows. “He’s not going to be a problem,” I said with more hope than I had. I peeked at Casper through my fingers. “You think he’d be a problem?”
Casper’s shoulders jerked up and then down. “Depends on what his agenda is. If you take him at his word—”
“He’s a habitual liar, so I can’t take him at his word.”
“If you do, then at the very least, he’s trying to reestablish a relationship. Any other agenda would probably defeat the purpose. It would jeopardize what he’s trying to do.”
“It’s already in jeopardy because I’m not falling for it. Neither will Lacey.”
Casper was silent for a few moments before asking, “You think he’ll reach out to her?”
“He doesn’t know she’s here. She’s been living with the Talismans since she was fifteen. They’d never tell him where she is.”
“Then it’s all good.”
“Yeah…”
I missed gin. But it was too far away and I was too exhausted to slide off the stool, in danger of landing on the floor and not being able to stand up. The room had already started to spin.
“I yelled at Rose today,” I said. “She got on my nerves, and I yelled at her. I’d just seen my dad, so…”
“I’m sure she’ll understand.”
I sat up straight, mimicking Rose’s austere attitude. “She was so…she sounded different. Like…harder.”
“She’s doing her job.”
“She should be doing more.”
Casper laughed. “Like what, bro?”
“Me,” I said simply.
Cas rolled his eyes. “Oh, here we go. You meet a woman who’s not throwing herself at you, and you can’t think of anything else but to—”
“Yup. What else would I be thinking?”
Casper got up and went to the freezer. “You got any pizza? Yeah, here it is. Look, she’ll never go for it. She’s probably the one woman—other than the GM—”
“And Siobhan.”
“Whatever,” Cas said with a growl. “She’s probably the only woman besides them that you’ll never get into bed.”
“I kissed her yesterday.”
“What?” Cas tossed the frozen pizza box on the counter and stood with his hands on his hips. “Really?”
I shrugged like it was nothing to kiss her. Like I could kiss her any day of the week if I wanted. “Yeah.”
“And?”
“She ran across the parking lot.”
Casper looked at me for a solid five seconds before bursting into laughter.
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” I said with a grimace.
Cas held his stomach with his arms. “Oh, man, my abs, dude. That was hilarious. A girl actually ran away from you. You must be a terrible kisser.”
“I’m a great kisser, dammit.” I launched from my seat—totally sober now—and shoved his shoulder with my own as I passed him to get to the pantry. I needed cookies if I couldn’t have gin.
“Yeah, well, I’d take Rose’s report over yours any day. She was the one running.”
“She’s afraid of giving in to me.”
“Ugh. You should hear yourself talk.”
“I do. Every damn day.”
Casper’s face twisted in annoyance and I laughed.
And I was grateful that, for a least a couple of minutes, my m
ind wasn’t on the man that had sired me.
The man that had beat me and my sister to a bloody pulp more than once.
The man I was too afraid to send to jail.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
LANDYN
This was the most brutal ride. I’d never felt more like I couldn’t breathe. Rose only reiterated the protocol of visiting patients with Alzheimer’s, and the other activities I was supposed to be doing with some other old people. All I could do was nod and mumble that I understood.
I considered apologizing. I had snapped at her. Yeah, she could’ve been stalking me; why wouldn’t she? She was just doing her job, and I…
I could freakin’ kill my father.
We pulled into the parking lot, and I shut off the engine. I had insisted on driving this time in an effort to make up for what an ass I had been the other day. I caught Rose’s arm as she practically fell out of my car, probably in a hurry to get away from me.
“Rose—”
“My arm,” she said with a pointed look at my hand.
I didn’t release her.
“Rose, I want to apologize.”
“For?”
I studied her impassive face. Large, deep brown eyes framed by soft brows. Cute nose that was neither too big nor too small.
Her lips, though…
They’d occupied my thoughts for the past couple of days. The feel of her small frame snug in mine, her body shuddering with fear and need. I wanted all of her. To possess every last inch of her skin. Mark her body with my kiss.
“I…I was upset the other day. I didn’t have a good practice and…some other stuff. I took it out on you, and I apologize.”
I waited.
And waited.
Her features remained the same.
Damn. Now I was trembling. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough.
“I appreciate the apology, Landyn,” she said softly. “All I ask is that we keep our relationship as professional as possible. I can empathize with a bad day. I just don’t want to be your punching bag when you have one.”
“Fair enough,” I said. “Thank you.”
I saw the briefest of smiles before she was out the door. I sighed and followed.
We were greeted by one of the staff, who showed us to the main activity room, where a number of elderly residents had already gathered. A couple of ladies pointed at me. Whether it was because they recognized me, I couldn’t tell, until I saw one had one of those trashy romance novels in her hand, and she held it up, pointing to the half-naked man on the cover.
No. No, that wasn’t me.
The staff member introduced me, which was followed by tepid applause, hands flapping in elder-waves, and denture-wide grins. I awkwardly waved at everyone. What was I supposed to be doing again?
“Mingle,” Rose whispered.
Oh, yeah. Mingle.
A man in a wheelchair to my right flagged me down. Passing by a table, I grabbed an empty chair and sat down in front of him. “I’m Landyn,” I said, as though I hadn’t already been introduced.
“I used to play for my college football team,” the man said with a nearly toothless smile.
I grinned back. “You did? That must’ve been—”
“Yeah, yeah, a long time ago. Guess what position I played?”
I had to lean in to hear what he was saying. Without teeth, it was hard to enunciate words. “Quarterback.”
The man nodded. “Yup. Division champs my first year.”
“That’s incredible.”
“You’re a winner, too.”
“Uh-oh. Don’t start inflating his ego.” Rose winked at me. I stood, offering her my chair, but she refused.
“Now, that’s a gentleman,” the man said.
Rose smiled shyly, avoiding my gaze. I returned to my seat. “I didn’t catch your name.”
“George. You can Google me.”
Rose and I laughed. “I’ll do that, sir.”
“We didn’t have the uniforms you have today. Hard helmets, all those pads. It was just a soft cap and our muscles.”
I flexed my left arm and caught Rose staring. I winked. She rolled her eyes. “I think I could manage that,” I said to George. “How did you handle the sacks?”
“They barely touched me. We had a good offensive line. But I got hit every once in a while. Have to watch yourself going down so you don’t hit your head. People going crazy having too many bumps on the head.”
Concussions. I’d only had one major one in college, when one of our linebackers had missed a block and I was about ready to throw at my receiver. Felt like I’d been hit by a Mack truck. Missed the rest of the game due to protocol.
“You have to be careful.”
“Oh, I will, George. I don’t like getting hit.”
George shook his head and frowned. “It’s not good.” He squinted at me and jerked back. “Who are you!”
“Huh?”
He began to wheel backwards. “Get away from me! I don’t know you!” He looked around frantically, crying, “Help! Help!”
Rose grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet and back a few steps.
“George, George!” A nurse ran over. “You know who this is! We told you a football buddy was coming by today. This is Landyn. You two like to play sports.”
George’s face relaxed, but his hands still shook over the wheels of his chair. He eyed me up and down and then nodded. Inwardly I sighed. I knew too many concussions caused problems with memory and possibly led to Alzheimer’s. Was that why George couldn’t remember?
Rose hadn’t let go of my arm, and she squeezed it. “You okay?” she whispered.
“Yeah,” I whispered back. “I’ve…never had that happen before.”
“How often do you hang around people with Alzheimer’s, or even the elderly for that matter?”
“Point taken.”
“Sit back down. George looks like he’s not intimidated by you anymore. I can relate,” she said with a chuckle.
“Wait. I intimidate you?”
Rose’s mouth slanted to one side. “I think you enjoy intimidating people. They might touch you otherwise.” A soft smile, and then she left my side, walking over to a table where bingo was being played—I think. What else did old people play?
I sat back down, musing over what Rose had just said. I’d never thought of myself as intimidating. That implied some underhanded intent. Maybe I subconsciously did, because she was right: I didn’t need or want anyone touching me. The people who were supposed to love you the most had never cared for me. Had left me. Damaged me. I had hurt enough to last the rest of my life.
After talking to a few more people about random stuff I’d probably never remember—the irony—a few of us gathered in one corner of the room to dance.
“Music is played every day, and the residents are offered the opportunity to dance,” a nurse exclaimed to Rose and me. “You’ll find that most never forget how because of muscle memory. It’s incredible, really. Why don’t you two join us?”
Rose nodded eagerly, a broad smile on her face. I stood like a statue.
A man with a full head of gray hair and the whitest teeth ever came to us. “You two look like a fine pair, but I’m going to steal this lovely little lady.” He offered Rose his hand. “Madam?”
Rose giggled. “Why, thank you, sir.”
I stared at her as she left my side and began to dance. She fell easily into the man’s arms and he swung her around like an expert. Feeling both challenged by the man’s obvious charm, and jealous of how he was holding Rose, I eyed the ladies lining the dance area, determined to have one of them for a partner. All I had to do was avoid stepping on her feet.
A pruned goddess with long silver hair smiled at me. Done. I walked over to her, and when she accepted my invitation to dance, I gently rested my hand in the middle of her back and cradled her right hand in mine. I led her onto the dance floor…somehow.
“You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?” The l
ady grinned at me.
“Uh, no. Got me.”
“You want me to make you look good in front of your girlfriend?”
“What?” My eyes involuntarily shot to Rose, who was laughing and leaning into her dance partner. What could that old guy have said to her? “She’s not my girlfriend,” I grumbled.
“Uh-huh. You just want her to be.”
The woman grinned like she knew something about me that I didn’t. “She works for me.”
“Underneath you?” The woman’s throaty laugh made me blush.
“N-no.”
“Not yet, you mean.”
It was like… “Are you a mind reader?”
She shook her head. “When you get as old as us, you’ll be able to see things. Like the two of you.”
“I don’t love her. We barely know each other.”
She arched a brow at me. “Who said anything about love? I was just talking sex.” My eyes went to the ceiling and we shared a laugh. “But now that you mention it—”
“Please, don’t jinx it.” I couldn’t have love on my mind so close to the first game of the season. Maybe after the year was over, or if I met the right person.
“Never been in love, have you?”
“Nope. I’m only twenty-two.”
She shrugged. “I got married at eighteen. We were high school sweethearts. Had our first child by the time we were your age.”
“Is he here with you?”
She blinked a few times. “Who are you talking about?”
“Your…” Ah, her memory was going. I kept a frustrated sigh inside. Must be hell for her family, if she had any. And her; to reminisce over fond memories one second and forget what you were thinking about in the next. How did they live like this?
“I’m getting tired of leading,” she said.
“Oh, we can stop.”
