by Vera Quinn
“Every birth control I have ever tried made me sick. I tried an IUD once and I it gave me an infection. I haven’t tried anything since then.” I need to go for a walk. I have to let this anger out.
“I’ll be back in a little while. I need some air.” I get up, and I am out the door before Gracie can say anything. I do remember to lock the door, though. I look around outside, and I see a pile of wood someone was working on in the side yard. The ax is in the stump they were using for splitting.
I pick up the first piece of wood, and I don’t stop until I am through with the whole pile. I finally put the ax back where I got it, and I just think, staring at the stump. This is just like Jilly. Gracie could be pregnant. I can’t see Gracie in Rebel’s life. He would try to do the right thing, but his damn club always comes first, and it would take him away from Gracie and Shelby and then the baby. That life would slowly kill Gracie. Hell, one night sent her running.
I can’t see Gracie trying to struggle with two children by herself. She would try her hardest, but that is a lot for one person. I care about Gracie. I more than care for Gracie and my mind is made up. I will not let Gracie be the next Jilly.
My body has a good burn going on. I make my way back up to the house and dig the keys out of my pocket. I go in trying to be quiet. I go straight to the refrigerator and get a bottle of water and finish it off. I go into the living room, and Gracie is still sitting in the same spot I left her, and I see she has been crying ever since I left her.
“I’m going to grab a shower and I will be right back out. I’ll be quiet, so I don’t wake Shelby.” I leave Gracie there to get my things from the room Shelby is sleeping in. She looks like an angel sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed. I grab my bag and hit the shower. I let the hot water soothe my aching shoulders. I dry off and find my sweats to sleep in.
I know I am going to have a hard time convincing Gracie of the crazy idea I have in my head, but I think she will listen to reason and then we can go home. I make my way back in the living room, and Gracie is still sitting there looking like she has lost her last friend. I sit beside her and pull her into my arms. She comes easily and hugs me. I rub her back, and then I relax into the back of the sofa, never letting go of her.
“What you told me was hard for me to hear but you did nothing wrong. I have feelings for you Gracie, but I can’t make you care for me.” I turn her sideways and make her look at me. “I think we can have a good thing, but you have to want it, too. Will you give us a chance, Gracie? We have to trust each other.” She looks at me closely.
“Are you saying you still want me?” She sounds surprised.
“Yes, Gracie. I want you and I want you to trust me. I have an idea to fix all this. It’s a little bit crazy, but I know it can work. Will you trust me?” We look into each other’s eyes. “Can you trust me with everything? If you do, we will start home tomorrow. We will take our time and make a couple of stops and figure it all out together. We just have to trust each other and be totally honest. Can you guarantee me that you can do that?” Gracie looks like she is thinking about and considering everything. I am glad because she has to.
“If we were to do this, would you ever want another woman with us? I can’t afford any more mistakes. Could I be enough for you if we took this further?” Gracie sounds hopeful.
“I swear I will never be anything but totally honest with you. If we moved further into this, you would be more than enough for me.” I guarantee her.
“Then I will trust you, but I need sleep before making any big decisions.” She does look dead on her feet.
“I am going to sleep with the two of you. I will get extra blankets out of the other room, and I will sleep on top of your blankets and under the others. That way I am there, but we will still be separate. Is that okay with you?” I wait for her answer.
“That will be alright.” We both stand up. I reach in my pocket and take my phone out.
“I am going to text Dad and Kaden we are going to be home in a few days.” We make it in the hall, and I end the message. I go one way in the hall to get the extra blankets and Gracie goes in the room with Shelby. I grab a blanket and join them, and I see Gracie has moved Shelby over by the wall, and she climbs on the bed, and I lay down beside her. She is close but not really. I can deal with that. I wait until I know Gracie is asleep and I completely relax and drift off into thought. Tomorrow our lives will change. I only hope it is for the better. I look at Gracie and then at Shelby, and I know I have to make their lives safe. That’s my last thought of the night.
Chapter 14
Rebel
The only thoughts in my mind for the last eight days have been of Gracie. Where she might be and how her and Shelby have been. I have turned over every rock and talked to everyone. Tip finally found a lead on her in Colorado. That’s where she sold her car. It’s been three days and nothing.
Today I am dealing with Jade and then I am meeting with Kendall and Donald Giles. I received a text this morning from Ma that Brody has Gracie and Shelby with him and they are on their way home. I still have a few days to take care of everything here so when Brody finally gets here with my girls, all I have to do is convince Gracie I had nothing to do with what Jade did. I don’t know exactly what happened but today I find out. I’ve had Jade contained to a storage building with just food and water. I wanted her to worry. I want her to think about everything I could do to her so when I ask my questions she’ll be too scared to lie. I must know what I am facing. Then I’ll get rid of Gracie’s worries about that Giles woman.
I walk out of my office and to the bar. I motion for the prospect to get me a beer. Spinner and Sin walk up to me and I know it is time to get this shit done. Sin usually dishes out our punishments being our SAA. He’s almost six and a half feet tall and close to three hundred pounds of pure muscle. I’ve yet to meet a son of a bitch bad enough to knock him down. Today I will do my own dirty work. I down the beer handed me and turn to go outside to the storage building. Spinner and Sin are right behind me. I push the door to the shed open. I go straight in and let Jade out of the ropes holding her. “Tell me what you did and what you said to Gracie. You get one chance Jade. Don’t fuck it up!” I am trying to contain my anger but I am having a problem with that.
“I need to go to the bathroom.” She looks at me. Looking for compassion. I have none. Gracie would be here now if it weren't for her. She sees I am not swallowing the whining. “I have been good to you, baby. We can be good together. Just give me a chance. Gracie isn’t woman enough for you if she runs off so easily.”
“Jade your bucket is in the corner over there. Pop a squat and piss.” She looks at me and goes and does just that. She takes care of her business quickly, and she is back to whining.
“I need a shower, baby.” She tries to run her hand up my arm, but I shake her off and push her away.
“I told you before, and I hate repeating myself, Jade. Gracie is my ol’ lady, and I have no use for you anymore.” She rolls her eyes. I almost snap, but I know what Jade needs to hear straight from me. The truth just like I have always given her.
“Jade look at me. Look in my eyes.” She turns and looks at me knowing I am serious. “I am in love with Gracie. I made her my ol’ lady, and I am going to make her my wife. If she doesn’t already have my kid inside her, she will soon enough. Do you get what I am saying? I will never fuck another woman.” I see in her eyes exactly when it registers in her little brain that I am not shitting her. “What the fuck did you say to her and do? This is your last chance. I have already banned both Sugar and Whinny. So what do you think I am going to do to you if you don’t tell me the truth?” I see her considering it.
“I just told her that you sent me into your room with her. I told her we shared in the club and that is what she was going to have to do to keep you. It was expected of her.” Jade is leaving something out, and I know what it is.
“Tell me what you did to my woman.” I wait.
“I was going d
own on her. I thought she would like it. Her body was responding to me, but she freaked the hell out when she woke up. I thought I could get her used to being with me and we could share you.” Jade is dumb enough to think I would actually want that. Sin grunts behind me.
“So you touched my woman?” I wait for her answer. She doesn’t answer. “Without her or my permission?” Jade knows she is done.
“Yes, but I thought it is what you would eventually want, and I was trying to help,” Jade says quietly.
“Oh shit.” Spinner lets slip. I think about it, and I know this is not something Gracie is going to forgive easily. I can only hope she loves me too.
“Sin take Jade home and let her pack one bag. Put her on a bus out of Texas.” Sin steps up to Jade. “Jade, if I ever see you again I will put you to ground. I am reaching out to every one of our clubhouses and letting them know I will take it as a personal offense to me if you are allowed in any of the clubhouses. Jade, I will not forget this so do not ever let me see you again. Sin, you see her after she gets on that bus put her to ground. Spread the word.” Sin grabs Jade by the arm and leaves with her. Spinner steps up beside me.
“Are you sure Gracie is worth all this? She isn’t going to forgive this easily.” I look at Spinner, and if I didn’t know my brother is only concercerned about me I would hit him, but I know he is just worried.
“In case you missed this part, I love her. So yes, she is worth everything. The club is the only thing I put above her and Shelby, and that is just the way it is. Now let’s go talk to the two assholes who are going to help me get my woman back. If I can get this off Gracie’s back, it may help ease my way back into her life. She’s with Brody right now, and I know he is doing everything he can to talk her into giving up on me. I won’t let her.” The sooner this is done, the better.
Chapter 15
Gracie
I have been dreading arriving back home all day. I know when we get there I am going to have to answer questions. I feel awful about the way I left, but I thought it was the best thing at the time. I talked to Jilly a little on the phone last night, and she made me feel better about the decisions I have made, but I am still apprehensive about facing Lorraine and Rebel.
The showdown with Lorraine is inevitable. Better to face it now than two or ten years down the road and having to keep looking over my shoulder wondering when it is going to happen.
Rebel is more complicated. I know no matter what my feelings could be for him that I do not belong in his world. I don’t understand the ground rules for that kind of life and I don’t think I want to.
Brody is a good solid man, and he is helping me in more ways than one. He’s guaranteed me he will be by my side no matter what. I believe, more than that, I trust him, with not only my life but Shelby’s, too.
It’s going to be late when we get back to Winnsboro, so hopefully, I have one more night before I have to face everyone. Tomorrow I have to see if I can get my job back considering I didn’t give notice. Brody said if not then he has some secretarial work I can do for his business. He’s taking on more men so he can be home more. I just hope it isn’t just to take care of us.
It’s way after eleven when we pass the city limit sign. The town is quiet as we drive through it to get to home. I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding when I see my driveway is empty. We pass it for Brody’s drive next door. I have at least one more night before I have to face anyone. I have been fooling myself that I have been more worried about Lorraine. I know I can get through that with Brody and Mr. Lemons by my side. I have everything I need on my side now. No, I am more worried about Rebel.
Shelby’s sleeping in her car seat. I look at Brody, and he reaches over and squeezes my hand. “It’ll be okay, Gracie. Trust me.”
“I do trust you, Brody. If not, I wouldn’t have let you take on all this responsibility. I just hope you trust me. I’ll never let you down again. I promise.” Brody reaches over and pulls me to him by my hand. I go willingly. He kisses me softly on my lips. This calms my nerves. He’s been doing this a lot since we left Las Vegas. His lips might not leave me feeling breathless, but they leave me wanting more from this man. So much more.
“Let’s get this angel into the house. I’ll come back out and get everything once you two are safe inside. We can set the portable bed we got her up in my spare room. We can leave a light on in case she wakes up.” I nod my head in agreement.
“That sounds great Brody. I can probably sleep until noon, but I’ll be happy if Shelby lets me sleep until eight.” I sound hopeful even to my ears.
“Shelby is an early riser. Has she always been that way?” Only a man with no children would ask that question.
“I think it is a kid thing.” I laugh. He gets her out and carries her into the house. He has his keys out and as soon as we get inside he takes care of the alarm. He makes it look easy with one hand while keeping Shelby nestled to him. We get inside, and everything is almost like it was the last time I was in here. I can tell Brody packed in a hurry. He has a stack of clothes still left on his sofa.
He lays Shelby on the sofa. I can’t wait to get back to my house tomorrow. I had cleaned everything before I left so no one would have to clean a mess. I never thought I would miss a house like I did the house I grew up in but I do. This has become my home now. Mr. Lemons told me the sale of my house went through. I have a few papers to sign, but it is a done deal. It’s bittersweet. It’s the last thing I have from my parents, but I know this is now my home. I know my parents would want me to be happy and I will be happy here. I’ll just have to keep my parents alive through making a good life for Shelby and myself and never forgetting all the good memories. I can live with that and knowing that nest egg will be the beginning of a college fund for my baby girl.
By the time I snap out of my thoughts, Brody has brought everything in, and I see he is headed up the hall to set up the portable crib for Shelby. He’s set Shelby’s bags down, so I go and get busy changing her for bed. By the time he is finished I have her settled back down and ready to tuck her in her bed.
Brody goes back out to bring in more bags, and I put her down in her crib so she can sleep the rest of the night peacefully. Except for the days of her teething and the part of her not being able to get down to play enough, Shelby has taken everything in stride. To be a child again. I kiss her forehead and leave a small light on for her. I leave the bedroom door partially open, so I can hear her if she wakes up. I walk quietly out and make my way back into the kitchen where Brody is getting something to drink. “Is she back to sleep?” He asks me.
“Yeah, she is. Hopefully, she’ll sleep a little later tomorrow. It’d be nice to get a full eight hours sleep.” That sounds so good to me.
“I’ll get up with her in the morning. You can sleep in. I’m going to talk to dad first thing in the morning. Mom will be happy to see her back. I’m sure Ms. Audie will be, too.” The thought of Audie brings Rebel back to mind.
“It’s okay, Brody. I learned when Shelby was born my times of sleeping in are over. I need to call my supervisor and see if I can get my job back. I have to be able to pay our bills.” I’m hoping for the best.
“I already told you if you can’t, you’re covered. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to do your work from home? It’d save you in daycare expenses, and it would save me from having to do paperwork.” Brody laughs. It does sound good, but I have never done office work before so I would have to be trained even if I am just doing it from home.
“Are you sure you want to take the time to train me? I’ve never done any work like that. I can type and file, and I have computer skills but never put them to use. The only jobs I have ever had is a waitress, the work I’ve done here and taking care of Shelby.” Brody shakes his head.
“Look, babe, it’s nothing too difficult. You had to have experience dealing with people being a waitress. You’ll be taking phone calls and relaying messages. Can you use a fax machine?” He makes it sound simple.
“I had used fax machines doing supply orders for Mr. West at the restaurant when Mrs. West was gone.” All pretty easy.
“The only other thing is making motel reservations when we need them. Maybe some flight reservations. Oh, and bank deposits even though most of our payments are wired directly to the bank. The rest I can teach you in time.” It sounds reasonable.
“I don’t want to be a charity case. I make my own money and pay my own bills.” He has to understand this from me.
“We’ve discussed this to death. We know how things are going to work so quit worrying. We’ll do this together. I told you I am here every step of the way.” I don’t know what I did to deserve Brody, but I thank my lucky stars I have him. I just hope he knows what he is getting into. “Let’s get some sleep, so when the shit hits the fan tomorrow, we will be ready.” Oh, joy. I can only imagine.
“Okay. Sounds like a plan.” We go down the hall to Brody’s room. I am completely comfortable with sleeping next to Brody now. I didn’t think I would feel comfortable being close to Brody every night but I feel safe, and I feel cared for. At first, I argued with myself that it wasn’t right, but Brody has made me see that we are doing nothing wrong. He’s been sleeping either in the same bed but on top of the blankets and me under them for the two nights we got a room with two beds. Shelby slept in a bed by herself, and I slept next to Brody tucked in his arms. He’s had patience with me, but he won’t let me run again. He has a strength inside him that draws me to him.
I get my sleeping clothes out of my bag with my toothbrush and Brody lets me go into the bathroom and get ready first. This is the first night we will be in a room alone. I’m a little nervous, but I hurry with my nightly rituals. A quick shower and brushing my teeth. I hang my towel up and go in search of my brush for my wet hair. Brody is relaxed on the bed waiting his turn. I get my brush out my bag and go and sit on the side of the bed by Brody. “You are so beautiful,” Brody says to me. I’m no beauty, but I appreciate him saying it.
