by Vivian Lux
"Queen of Kegstands?" I ventured.
She wrinkled her nose at the nickname. "Yeah well, those days are over." Then she leaned in. "But I could still totally do one, you guys got a keg at this party?"
I laughed again, feeling delirious. Last I knew, Brynn Reese was doing keg stands with Derek Granger, and Gabe Foster, partying in the woods, with all the bad kids while the rest of us goody-two-shoes were left out of the fun. And now she was here talking to me like we were old friends and for some reason that meant more to me than all the celebrities I'd hung out with in New York. Brynn Reese, my bad-girl idol was talking to me.
And she was teaching kindergarten.
It would never fail to amaze me how much time just marches on.
"Actually," Brynn went on. "I'm kind of surprised that you never became a teacher, you know." She took another sip of her drink, her face flushing beet red. "Although, I'm sure it's a bit more lucrative being a big time children's author," she said, rolling her eyes. "But still, you always were so good with kids."
"I love kids," I told her firmly.
Brynn nodded. "I remember you trying to set up your own babysitting service when you were eleven years old. Nobody wanted to hire you, and you were so hurt, Cal said."
I straightened my shoulders a little bit and laughed. "Oh probably because they didn't want a kid younger than their own kids watching them," I pointed out. "I finally did get a couple clients, and I worked way too hard to prove that I was old and mature. Stuck in the trap of being a perennial kid sister I guess.
Brynn nodded emphatically. "Don't I hear that," she said.
"Yeah, but there's not so many years between you and Cal." My tongue almost tripped over his name. Why was I talking about her brother all of a sudden? Danger. This was the last thing I wanted to be doing.
But luckily my flush was hidden under the alcoholic redness, because Brynn didn't seem to notice my sudden onset of stuttering. She just shook her head. "I kind of wish you could have been my babysitter, even though you are two years younger," she said, her mouth twisting oddly.
With a pang, I remembered how it was for Brynn and Cal growing up. Their mother flickered in and out of their lives like a TV with bad reception, and though I never knew why exactly she'd left, from the whispers and innuendo around town, I'd figured out it was for reasons that were both embarrassing and sad.
Their father tried very hard to be both parents at once for his kids, but his work schedule made it so that they had to suffer through an endless parade of babysitters, for better or worse. That was probably why Cal started spending most of his time at our place.
And I felt bad about the selfish pang of gratitude that that gave me.
"But anyway, I'm super glad you didn't end up being a teacher, I guess, because this means that I get to use your books for my classroom. But why didn't you think about going into education instead?"
I pressed my lips together, trying and failing to look natural.
Clearly I failed. Brynn's eyes widened. "What is it? Spill it!"
“I don't know what you're talking about," I said.
Brynn waved her hand. "Every single emotion you ever have is written across your face, Harper. You'd be a really shit poker player, what's going on?"
I opened my mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "You have to promise you won't tell anyone," I slurred. This wine was going right to my head.
Brynn danced a happy little shimmy and leaned forward. "I am a locked vault for secrets. Do you know how much I know about Autumn Melton?"
"I think the point of you keeping secrets is to not tell people that you have secrets," I pointed out.
She clapped her hands over her mouth and laughed. "But seriously, you can tell me. What's going on, why do you look like the cat who swallowed the canary?"
"When I get back from here?" I said eagerly, leaning forward. The words had been tripping over my tongue the whole time at the party and I could no longer resist the urge to tell people. "I'm going to be negotiating with The Children's Network. They want to create an animated show and a lineup of plush characters for Uggo the Puggo."
Brynn squealed and wrapped her arms around me. From across the room I spotted Cal, stretching his neck over to see what the hell his sister was doing. His eyes met mine, and for one second I felt a pang of something, something I wasn't quite sure what it was. Because even as Brynn and I were celebrating my triumphant return to New York City, the thought of leaving again had me strangely melancholy.
But Brynn was anything but. "Oh my God, okay, so I'm going to keep your secret," she said, bubbling over in drunken sincerity. "
Her eyes flashed and suddenly she whooped out loud, grabbing my arm and shaking me so hard my teeth clacked, which made me giggle.
Tell me again why I was scared of her?
"But I will make a bargain with you," Brynn warned.
I didn't like the sound of that. "A bargain?"
"I won't tell anyone you're going to have a TV show. If!" She raised a finger for punctuation. "If you come and do a talk to my classroom.
I heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, that's it?" I was happy to help, happy to be lining up a classroom visit. Those were always my favorite part of the job, sitting and reading to kids and watching their mouths move as they spoke my words along with me. I fucking loved kids. "Of course! I'd love to."
I'd been in a warm half-buzz most of the day and was well on my way to getting hammered. I should drink some water, I thought to myself, then took another sip of the wine. Then I trailed off, remembering my last meeting with Cecily, my publishing agent. She'd been scaling back my visits, calling them a waste of time when we should be focusing on the "bigger picture."
"But my agent doesn't want me doing them anymore," I said.
Brynn sniffed. "Fuck your agent," she said dismissively. "You're a grown woman, you can do what you want."
I nodded firmly, knocking back the rest of my wine. "Damn straight I am," I announced, a little more loudly than I intended.
Just then, the text message alert went off from my phone.
"Excuse me," I said sneaking a peek. "Speak of the fucking devil," I laughed. "It's my agent."
"Tell her you're a grown woman who can do what she wants!" Brynn urged, peering over my shoulder. "Do it! Do it! Do it!" she chanted, pumping her fist. I had a momentary vision of her cheering Derek Granger on as he did a keg stand.
"No," I sighed. "That's not what she's texting about." I quickly scanned the screen. "She's reminding me to post something on social media about my trip."
Brynn rolled her eyes. "How annoying," she observed.
"No, it's easy." I turned in a quick circle and caught sight of the giant Christmas tree that Cal, Gray, and my brother had wrestled into the living room. "Perfect." I quickly snapped a shot of the Christmas tree, and posted it on Instagram with the caption, "What did Santa bring you?"
I leaned over and showed it to Brynn. "There. Does this look properly wholesome enough for a children's book author?"
She leaned in. "So wholesome I want to barf," she said, nodding sagely.
I nodded back. "Good, let's go get more wine."
Chapter Five
Callum
Half the town was at this party, all crowded around the kitchen island like a plague of locusts on the hors d'oeuvres. I craned my neck to try to see Harper, but the second we walked in, Gray and I were cornered by Mrs. Collis, our formidable old eighth grade English teacher.
She was rambling out some long-winded, yet very eloquent complaint about the difficulties she had teaching the classics to unruly boys such as ourselves, when I spotted Harper across the room and my breath left my lungs like I'd been punched in the gut.
In that shiny red satin dress, Harper looked just like a present. Like a goddamned gift just waiting to be unwrapped. She was talking animatedly with my sister, completely oblivious to the effect she was having on me. I raised my beer to my mouth, needing something to calm me down. The way that dress hu
gged her curves...
I nearly jumped a fucking mile when something lightly brushed my arm. I looked down to see Mrs. McCabe tugging at my shirt. "Excuse me, Josie," she cooed, interrupting Mrs. Collis's rant. "But I need these boys."
I cleared my throat, trying to convince myself that there was no way she could know the thoughts I was thinking about her daughter. "Yes, what's up Anna?" I asked, my voice several octaves higher than normal.
She shook her head. "Will you boys please go see what the hell is wrong with Everett?" she sighed. "He got here this morning and everything was fine, but as soon as people started showing up, he holed himself upstairs like some kind of morose teenager. He's missing the party."
Gray looked at me. I shrugged. "I have no idea why," I sighed, "But that sure sounds like something Rett would do." I looked down at Anna's anxious face. "Don't worry Ma. We've got it."
Mrs. McCabe squeezed my arms. "I don't know what I do without you boys," she said, and fluttered off to refill drinks for the rest of the partygoers.
"What do you think is bothering him?" Gray asked as we walked towards the back of the house. The echoes from the party were silenced as we rounded the alcove off the main great room. Gray looked around. "This house carries sound weird," he observed. Then he cleared his throat. "Echo!" he yelled.
"You idiot," I growled, but he was right. The sound was bouncing crazily all over the place, muffled in some places, but carrying in others. I wondered if it was some kind of architectural quirk of the house.
Gray grinned. "Come on, let's go get our boy."
Our boy was sitting on a guest bed, playing with his phone. He looked up sharply when we barged in without knocking.
"Least he wasn't jacking it," I observed.
"Are you seriously doing this again," Gray hissed, immediately barging over to snatch Rett's phone away. "Come on, Mr. Antisocial. Your mom sent us to get you."
Everett rolled his eyes. "Did she really?" he asked looking straight at me, knowing I’d be the one telling the truth.
I shrugged. "Sorry to say, man. You might stand a foot and half taller than her, but you'll always be her little boy."
Everett growled. "I am literally in anything but the mood to go talk to a bunch of people that I try to avoid most other days." There was a strange bluster in his voice, something a little more emphatic than he'd normally be in this situation. It made me wonder if he was being genuine.
I shrugged again. "Listen, I'm just the messenger," I told him. "And your mom will have my hide if I don't drag you out to the party."
Everett grumbled and complained, but eventually we manhandled him to a standing position. Gray shoved him bodily out his door and every time he slowed down, I prodded him along with a slap to the back of the head.
"You guys are the biggest assholes on the face of the planet," Everett said.
Then he stopped short.
I looked out to where he was looking. The bulk of the partygoers were now gathered in the great room, while below them the lights on the Christmas tree twinkled off the polished wood floors.
I looked out across the sea of faces, some familiar, some I didn't recognize, and I spotted Harper again, still talking with my sister. "Come on," I urged. "If we go talk to Brynn and Harper now, your mom will be satisfied and we won't have to make you talk to our old world history teacher or something."
Everett still look like he was a deer caught in the headlights, but we managed to drag him over to where his sister and my sister were standing.
"There you are, Rett" Harper teased, nudging him with her shoulder. "Were you hiding from the scary people?"
Everett darted an odd look back and forth between Harper and my sister. "No," he mumbled. Then he looked at his empty hands. "I need a drink," he said and shuffled off over towards the liquor cabinet.
Harper looked at me. "What's gotten into him?" she asked.
I shrugged. "You know how he gets. Easily overwhelmed and stuff."
Brynn was looking over the drink table. "I think I need a refill myself," she said, swaying unsteadily.
"Uh, hey. You take it easy there," I warned my sister.
"Bite me," she said evenly. "I've been drinking you under the table since we were kids."
Harper laughed out loud and I turned on her. "Hey, what are you laughing at, are you even legal yet? Can I see your ID, young lady?"
She rolled her eyes. "I'm twenty-five, you know that."
"I knew that," Gray piped up. "Because it's been five years since you've been home."
Harper shrugged indifferently. "Unfortunately the children's book publishing industry in Reckless Falls is lacking these days."
I smirked at Gray. "She saying she's too good for this town. And too good for you."
Gray threw up his hands. "Hey now. We all know she's too good for any of us. In fact why is she talking to the likes of you right now?"
Harper rolled her eyes so hard there was barely any iris showing. "Would you two cut it out? I'm sorry I haven't been home in a while, it's been too long, I agree."
"Well in celebration of suddenly being allowed to drink legally," Gray teased. "Can I get you something?"
I shot him a look. His face was a mask of blatant adoration. I wondered if she saw it.
"Another glass of the dry Riesling would be awesome," she said.
"Oooh, fancy."
"I've come a long way since sneaking Boones Farm in the gully, huh?" She grinned, then winced. "Ooh, don't let my mother hear that."
Gray snapped a crisp salute. "Whatever my lady desires, my lady shall get." And he disappeared into the crowd heading over to the drinks table, leaving me and Harper alone.
"It has been too long since you've been home," I heard myself say.
She nodded emphatically. "Every time I thought I was going to definitely make it, something came up," she sighed, looking around the room. "I'm surprised how happy I am to be here."
"I'm happy you're here too," I said softly.
She looked up at me, startled. What the hell was I doing? The drinking had loosened my tongue. "Really?" she breathed.
My stupid mouth moved faster than my brain. "I thought a lot about the last time you were here," I said. My hand moved of its own accord, reaching out to touch her shimmering hair.
Her eyes followed my hand, but she didn't flinch, not when I picked up a strand and let it fall gently back to her shoulders. "You mean my graduation party?" she asked, her voice a little breath in the air.
It was that voice that made me move closer, I swear to God. "You remember what we did?" I asked her, winding that strand of hair around my finger.
She looked up at me, her lower lip shining wetly. "I do," she said, looking me directly in the eyes.
The fact that she didn't shy away, the fact that she didn't demur or hesitate had me bending to kiss her all over again...
When suddenly Gray reappeared.
"My lady's drink!" he practically shouted. Then he paused and stared at us. My fingers were still in Harper's hair and her eyes were half closed. I could see color that had nothing to do with alcohol flame across Gray's cheek and the white on his knuckles as he squeezed his fists.
But he said nothing other than, "How about you Cal, you good?"
"I'm good," I replied, though I felt anything but.
Chapter Six
Grayson
I was happy for him, I was happy for him, I was fucking happy for him.
My fists didn't believe my brain.
Rather than punch my best friend — the guy whose house I was currently crashing at while I tried to sort out my shit — in the mouth, I decided to walk away. If something happened between him and Harper tonight, I wasn't going to stand in the way, but that didn't mean I wanted to stick around and see it.
I stalked away, not really paying attention to where I was walking, until I suddenly looked up and found myself in the huge kitchen. Alone.
I took a deep breath and slowly unclenched my fists. Yeah. I just needed to hi
de out here a few minutes, let my blood pressure go back to normal, and let the urge to kill Cal in a jealous rage subside.
"Hey, you okay?"
Her voice was soft but I still nearly jumped out of my skin anyway. "Yeah," I breathed as I turned to see her standing in the doorway in that red satin dress, "I'm great."
She grinned a little and made for the fridge. "I'm drinking too fast," she giggled, opening the door. "I need to eat something more solid than canapés." She rummaged through the shelves and then suddenly turned to look at me still standing there frozen in place like an idiot. "You want something?"
"Sure," I mumbled.
"What?"
"Um." I swayed on the balls of my feet. "I dunno." The sight of her in that dress, the way her hair just skimmed the top of her shoulders every time she turned her head, had rendered me speechless. Me. The motormouth himself.
"Well come over here and look!" she trilled, completely oblivious to my current mental meltdown. "My mom always overbuys for these parties and then gets busy socializing and forgets to put half the stuff out." She shot me a grin over her shoulder. "Makes it a bonanza for leftovers."
I moved to her. Yeah, she was spell-binding in that dress, but she was still Harper, one of my favorite fucking people in the world. "Does it count as a leftover if we're eating it at the actual party?" I asked her.
She emerged from the fridge with some kind of fancy dip. "I know where the crackers for this are. You want to share?"
I grinned at her. "I don't think there's going to be any left by the time I'm done with it," I told her, holding up my hands. "I'm a big boy." I looked down at her green eyes. "With a big appetite."
She'd dipped her bare finger into the dip and raised it up to her mouth. I watched her as she closed her lips around it, and my dick twitched in my pants. "Harper," I exhaled, not sure what the fuck I was trying to say, but needing to say something.
"Yeah, Gray?"
I twisted and grabbed my glass off the kitchen island and downed the rest of my drink in one shot. I was still feeling jittery as a junebug, as my great-aunt Hilda would say, but I couldn't let this moment pass me by. "You have to know how I feel about you," I blurted. "Right?"
