“I will see whoever I want when I want. I do plan on seeing Shay. In fact this week, he’ll be taking me to see Maggie.”
“Fuck, no. He’s not taking you anywhere.” I countered. “And while you’re addressing him to me, you call him Brady,” I warned.
By the grimace which curled her lip, she was not accepting my refusal. She didn’t respond.
“Where do we go from here, Perla?” I asked, anger brimming to the surface. I spent a week looking for her. I spent weeks protecting her, and there she sat, looking at me with apathy.
“Why did you pursue me knowing Brady had intentions of dating me?” She asked, instead of answering my initial question. Her eyes pierced mine. A stabbing pain penetrated my heart. It was a mixture of fear and anger. I frowned, shaking my head.
“Why are you asking me again? I’ve told you already. I was attracted to you at first sight.”
“But you knew I was a ‘mark’ to be pursued by Brady. He was supposed to conclude the purchase of Liberty Inn. So why, if you’ve never used a woman to obtain inside information before, did you pursue me when it isn’t in your character to use a woman?”
“How do you know it isn’t in my character?”
“Because you couldn’t walk away. You claimed to have fallen hard for me. All you needed was the key, and you got it early on, so why?”
“Because you’re beautiful and sexy, and I love being with you.” I responded.
“It wasn’t to edge Brady out?” she said, crossing her arms.
When I saw the large, swollen bruise on her arm, I was stunned silent by the mark of another man’s hand on her body. Worse, her wedding ring wasn’t on finger, and appeared to not have been on for a while because she was tanned.
“Did you pursue me because you’ve always been in competition with him? You admitted your relationship had been ‘waning’ over the years, so did you pursue me because you wanted to ‘win’ over Brady?”
“Where is this coming from?” I asked. I could believe she asked these questions when all I wanted to do was hold her close and make love to her.
“Everything became clear while I was away. I learned more about Brady and his expectations. He enlightened me to how you operate, and I’m not talking about as a doctor. He should know, being your friend for years and seeing how you are with women.”
As I listened to her reveal her concerns, there was a quiver in the pit of my stomach before the fury collected in my craw.
“What exactly does he know? What did he say about me and the other women, who were before your time, which is making you so angry with me? Why have you changed your mind about us?” I begged to know.
“It wasn’t what he said directly. It was insinuations about your sexual prowess and ability to make women fall in love with you by giving them whatever they want, but not your love. Yet, I get your love. Why?” She asked. I was hurt by her accusations. When I went to respond, she continued, “It was your sister’s assertions of your inability to maintain a meaningful relationship. Not sharing the other women, me included, with your family until you were engaged . . . and in my case, a shotgun wedding,” she deduced.
I thought of the same things my parents accused me of during my visit.
“And it was you who told me you’ve never been in love, but have fucked many women; one who was my executive assistant. You gave them very little thought, but me, you fell in love with me?” She huffed. “I believe you think you fell in love with me, but in reality, you were one-upping Brady. Did you believe you were doing a necessary thing for Pentagon? Were you just trying to do a noble thing by keeping me away from him? Or was I just a challenge? A thrill which became a habit you couldn’t break?”
I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know where her animosity was coming from. We were in such a great place when she was taken and now the old-Perla had resurfaced.
“What are you inferring?” I asked.
“You kept me away from Brady because of your constant competition with him. I may have been tipsy when I went home with you from the club that first night, but you kept me drunk with the constant sex. He may have kept me captive on his compound, but you did the same by keeping me at your apartment from the very beginning. You only wanted me because he wanted me first, and you wanted to win,” she argued. I remained mute, incapable of stating my defense.
“All we ever did was fuck, and I couldn’t think straight to see your true motives. I was hung-over and the only remedy was to keep fucking—hair of the dog, and all. You always went from zero to sixty when pursuing me; from the invitation to stay at your place the first week to giving me your fortune for a quickie marriage. I never had the chance to think straight and make my own choices. You sensed my insecurity because of my figure, my divorced status, and my debt. You fucked me to keep me tethered to you, preventing me from realizing we weren’t meant to be together. And it was all about Brady, wasn’t it?” she said.
I took several deep breaths before responding. Her words hurt, assaulting all of my senses and emotions. I waited until the pain in my heart subsided. I could have been as callous as she was to me, but I didn’t have it within me.
“Do you ever think you used me too? You were just as much for the sex as I was. You took over and seduced me each time. I never let other women do that to me. You had me. I gave you the power to control me in bed. And you controlled me out of bed.” I argued.
She couldn’t form a counterargument. She knew I was right; she took control too. Just when the lengthy silence was too much to bear, she responded.
“I thought it was the only way to keep you interested in me. From the moment I was abandoned by my ex-husband, I was lonely and insecure. No man would want me with all my issues. Then you came along, and in an instant everything changed. I was afraid of missing out on something which may never come my way again. I expected it to be a casual . . . thing. I wasn’t ready for a committed relationship to you or to anyone. I was still hurting, but I had needs. I needed to fulfill those needs before you would inevitably walk away,” she said with glistening eyes. She sounded as if she never felt love for me and her feelings were all contrived.
“But I didn’t walk away. I don’t want to, but you’re sounding like you’re walking away, Perla. I don’t know how much more I can take,” I revealed.
Her eyes widened and I could see her chest heave, but she wiped the tears threatening to drop.
“I’ve given you every part of me, and right now, I have nothing left to give.” I said. All the breath out of my lungs made me feel the anxiety all the more. “We’ve both made mistakes. I’m taking initiative to rewrite what we have, but you’ve got to meet me half way, and you can’t let Brady interfere with what we have. Don’t you see he’s trying to take you away from me? He won’t stop trying to tear us apart. And if you leave me for him, we will never be able to be together again. I’m not going to let him live happily ever after with my woman.” I warned.
“What are you going to do?” She challenged.
The anger built inside of me, and the answer came clearly.
“What I should’ve done while you were held captive, file for dissolution of the corporation.” I threatened. Her eyes widened. “There’s no way he and I can work together now knowing he kept you for days and tried to convince you to fall out of love with me.”
“He wanted me to fall in love with him, not out of love with you. He told me he would leave us alone if I chose you,” she informed.
“And? Are you choosing me?” I asked her again.
She looked away. Her answer was loud and clear despite the lack of words. I had given her time to think and respond as I locked eyes with her, and then looked away at the darkened skies. I shook my head. There was nothing else for us to discuss. I was tired and I was in pain. She was obviously, tired, and confused.
I turned around and I walked out of her room. I walked in a daze to the front door. It dawned on me I couldn’t live like this. I didn’t want to fight or be doubted. I didn’t
want to lose my good friend or all of my friends, and I didn’t want to break up our business. Most especially, I didn’t want to lose my wife to my friend.
While I waited for the elevator, I dialed Zipper’s phone number. “Yeah, I can’t do this anymore.”
“What? What happened?”
“I can’t continue with this corporation. I’m going to file for dissolution.”
“You can’t mean that.”
“Brady tainted everything good in my relationship . . . all the things we’d been working to repair is gone. She doubts me again. He accomplished his mission of tearing us apart, and I’m afraid he’s won her over. I can’t compete with a man who knows her the way he does. I need your help to file the paperwork.”
“No.” Zipper replied sternly.
“No? What do you mean ‘no’?”
“Pentagon is my corporation too. I’m not going to allow you to dismantle what we’ve built because you two have feelings for the same woman. And don’t forget you gave her charge of your stocks. You have every right to force the dissolution, but you will have a huge hurdle to jump without having voter’s rights. And you won’t have my help. Go find someone else, who isn’t invested in Perla, Brady, or Pentagon.” Zipper hung up, leaving me to stew in my anger, jealousy, and desperation.
While I’m the initial brains of the operation, it was our corporation, and my request wasn’t fair. As a collective group, we brought Pentagon to its prominence. I had to find another attorney to help me, and the process was going to be emotional, painful, and arduous.
SIX
My heart felt like it would explode in my chest as I watched him walk away. His beautiful body looked tense and resigned. I caused him to abandon me. It wasn’t Brady or my perceived opinion of Matt’s mythical love for me. It was my confusion, frustration, fears, and anger. I needed answers to calm the tempest of questions. Our timing was off, which remained our problem. I couldn’t be married to him when he threatened to dissolve the company he built. I feared I could lose my job. It was my income. My role at Pentagon is for self-improvement and to keep my promises to Alice. I stifled a scream.
I wanted to blame someone or something for my pain. Despite Brady’s pursuit of me, it was ultimately fate which brought all of us together. I needed to resolve all of our problems before I could commit to Matt. With much at stake, I knew I had to play this whole debacle delicately.
My queasiness hadn’t subsided. I couldn’t eat despite feeling some hunger. I experienced so many emotions after our confrontation and once he walked out. Sleep was more important, and I crawled into my comfortable bed, which felt worn on the left side. The sheets smelled freshly laundered with the same fragrance of Matt’s sheets. I wondered if Glynnis had cleaned my home while I was away. The tears fell, commemorating my stupidity and stubbornness. I was in love with the man, and I pushed him away because I couldn’t handle the work required in communicating my fears and needs.
I wasn’t fully asleep when, in the middle of the night, I heard a shuffle of feet on the hardwood floor right outside my bed enclosure. My heart beat wildly because I didn’t expect him to return to me. I was sure he was done with the drama in our lives. My confusion and anger were cumbersome. He didn’t have to put up with me anymore, but I was relieved to have him return. I stirred and saw Matt part the curtains of the bed. He was nude when he entered the cocoon, and instantly I bit my lip in a fusion of need and anxiety. Even in the limited streams of city light, I could see his beautiful, nude body.
“Matt, What are you doing here?” I asked huskily.
My chest heaved as he prowled toward me. I sat up and waited for him to take me. Slight fear and desire coursed through me. He hooked his thumb on the strap of my night gown, and pulled it down my shoulder. My nipples pearled before fabric lowered down my breast. I shivered slightly as my flesh prickled under his touch.
Matt gripped my breast in his large hand and pulled it into a kiss, placing his lips on my areola. His thumb circled the tight nub which protruded through the silky fabric. The gasp, which escaped my mouth, made him aggressive, and he squeezed and bit my flesh. I could barely breath, anticipating the passion halted with time and distance. I’d thought about him while captive. My body ached for him as I lay in the heat and humidity of an otherwise idealistic location. I dreamt of him coming to me in the middle of the night, taking me and quenching my body’s thirst for him.
When I tried to speak, he kissed and bit my lips into silence. I reclined to feel him pressed against my body. His hands snaked up and down my side, pressing his long fingers into my heated skin. Both of us gasped for air. My foot caressed his leg as I thrust upward seeking friction for my electrified clit. His strong fingers twisted, pinched, and pulled on my nipple. I whimpered under his attention, thinking I could orgasm this way.
I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I resisted the urge to touch him for fear I would anger him like when he took me against the wall after my housewarming party. I pulled my arms overhead, and winced at the pain in my arm. I hooked my fingers on the edge of the mattress, and squeezed the cushion whenever I wanted to cry out.
Not satisfied with my position, Matt rose up and pulled down the strap of my hurt arm. Instinctively, I pulled my arm out of one and then the other strap. His fingers hooked onto the fabric underneath my arms, Matt tugged downward. The seams of the gown strained and split as he lowered it over my hips, grabbing my panties along with the cloth.
“Matt . . . I need time . . .”
“Perla,” he quieted me with his kisses. “You’ve had plenty of time. I’ve offered you everything. I’ve given you everything. You constantly doubt my intentions. I made a mistake.” He said.
My insides roiled at his last statement. Fear of his intentions produced tears. As I lay nude underneath him, Matt turned me onto my stomach. The tears I tried to absorb succumbed to gravity and fell like pins onto the sheet. While on his knees, he scaled backwards. He lifted my lower body and stuffed a pillow underneath me. My ass and legs were pinned by Matt’s stronger legs. His long fingers massaged my folds from behind. To check my wetness, he dipped his finger inside my channel. I lifted up to allow him deeper entry, needing his touch to fill the emptiness I felt. His skin rubbed against mine, making every part of my body tingle. With his free hand, Matt grabbed my hair and pulled back with controlled roughness. I grunted with yearning. In order to encourage his attentions, I lifted my body, arching severely toward him.
“You like that?” He asked, clutching my hair tight around my scalp. Another finger entered me, scissoring within my tight walls. I cried out.
While he thrust his fingers within me, he said, “I let you take control of me. I liked it. I yearned for it. And you took often.” He sneered, pulling me back.
I strained to hold myself with my extended arms, feeling weak on one side and putting more effort on the other arm. He pulled me closer, and I held myself up with the tips of my fingers. His chest hair bristled against my back. I missed this. I missed every fiber of his body on mine, and the added gruffness was needed to pull me back to us.
“You’re the only woman I let handle me like that, and you’ll be the last,” he reported gruffly. I sniffled as he pulled my head back close to his ear.
“When your control was taking more than you gave, I tried to be sweet and romantic. I thought you needed a man to give you the love and affection you’d missed from your first marriage . . . but it wasn’t enough was it?” He answered rather than asked.
After one last tug and my cries of longing, he released my hair. I slumped forward and took a huge breath. I hadn’t realized I had been holding my breath to listen to every word he uttered. His palm slid down my back, gliding down the side of my body and up my belly. His hand rested on my breast, palming my heavy orb. I cried out when he clutched tightly. His fingers never stopped the thrusts. The friction around my clit was excruciatingly delightful. I hated to admit to myself that I loved the way he was taking me.
“Yo
u never really wanted to control me, did you?” He asked. I moaned an unintelligible response. “You don’t require slow love making, do you?” He hissed. I reared back into him, affirming his accusations.
After he released my breast, his chest left my body. The rush of cool air rolled over my back. A hard smack on my ass made me cry out. It wasn’t just pain. I felt pleasure, and surprise at his dominance. I saw glimpses of it before, but he was so restrained back then. He didn’t want me to see that side of him. The few gentle slaps on the bottom during our lovemaking were playful. This was punishment, and I loved it.
“My mistake was letting you have any power when I fuck you.” He said.
He poised his cock at my entry and plunged himself deep into my quivering folds. His wet fingers were on my hip and the other hand clutched me tightly, holding me still as he slammed into me. My flesh reverberated with the impact. I rose my bottom up higher. He pulled me back to meet his drives. I lowered my forehead onto my fists. I felt him deep inside, pummeling my cervix. My toes curled and my closed legs lifted to stabilize through his plunges. My clit throbbed from the rubbing of my flesh.
“You prefer when I take you this way, just like the night I fucked you against the wall. Don’t you?” He asked. I didn’t respond. Smacking my ass hard again, he asked, “Don’t you?”
He rammed into me with a grunt. I groaned and whimpered with the pleasure. He stilled inside of me. I didn’t know if he was awaiting my answer, catching his breath, or curbing his climax.
I mumbled an unintelligible, “Yes.” I wanted him this way. For as much as I needed to have the sweet, loving Matt, I also needed the dominating side of him more. I needed his control, but I needed him to give into me too.
“I never wanted to treat you like this. Not you . . .” He informed as he thrust slowly inside. “I want to show you how much I love and respect you.” He said before he slammed into me, smacking his skin against mine. His strong leg muscles pinioned my lower body.
Bound: The Pentagon Group, Book 3 Page 18
