“Is to kill me.”
“James knows our suspicions. His people are watching out for any movement from Bear Lake but we suspect they haven’t been able to find you to take you out.”
Zack pressed a hand to his forehead. This was a lot more messed up than he’d imagined.
“Okay, so I’ve got a target on my back, great.”
There was silence on the other end of the phone before Seb cleared his throat.
“Have you thought about this from Matthew’s perspective?”
“If he goes into heat…”
“They may be sedating him through heats, but it’s dangerous and takes its toll. Eventually, your separation will prove fatal. And there’s something else.”
How could there possibly be something on top of Matthew’s impending death?
“What, what is it?”
“We know he’s still at home, in Briar Wood, but he hasn’t been seen by anyone. They’re keeping him apart from the rest of the Pack. His family is very traditional. Running away and forming an unapproved attachment would be seen as something terribly shameful.”
“So even if he knows there’s a bond between us, he may not have been able to leave, to come find me.”
Six months of separation and isolation, and Matthew had probably gone through at least one heat without an Alpha. Zack more than anyone knew what that kind of isolation did to a shifter.
Sebastian must have guessed his thoughts.
“If you decide to go to him, don’t go alone. They’d kill you just as swiftly as Bear Lake would. This agreement between their Packs means much to them. The death of a rogue wouldn’t bother them in comparison.”
Zack knew Seb spoke the truth. If the suffering of their own son didn’t move them, they’d have no problem getting Zack out of the way.
“If we can help in any way, we will,” Sebastian promised him. “But we can’t take official action unless we can prove a bond. For right now, it’s supposition, not reality. You won’t know the full truth until you and Matthew are reunited.”
Chapter Twenty-One
He found Andrew alone in the kitchen and took a seat next to him.
“You talk to Sebastian?”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“Are you up for a road trip?”
“Why, what did Sebastian say? Where are we going?”
He tried to gather his thoughts, give a coherent answer.
“Seb thinks Matthew and I have a bond. He thinks Bear Lake are out to kill me and that Matthew’s Pack have been hiding him, possibly sedating him through heats.”
Andrew rocked back in his chair.
“Damn. James told me there were concerns Bear Lake was out to get you. He didn’t tell me why.”
“Sebastian could be way off the mark but I can’t think of any other reason why they wouldn’t have gone ahead with the plan to mate Matthew to Bear Lake’s Alpha.”
“And if it’s true, then a bond won’t happen.”
“I need to see Matthew. Need to know if… if he’s okay and if there’s a reason I can’t get him off my mind.”
“If they’re hiding him, it’s not going to be easy. Are we sure he’s still on Pack land?”
“Seb seems pretty certain.”
“I’ll call James, run it by him, see what we can put together.”
Andrew came back to him a few hours later.
“James says we need to keep this small. Just you and me.”
“Does he have any thoughts on how we’ll get in and out without being seen?”
“As a matter of fact, he does. Yellow Rock’s daughter is bonding to the Briar’s Alpha successor next week. There’ll be two days of celebrations, lots of strangers coming and going. We can slip in while things are busy and they’re distracted, locate Matthew and figure out what, exactly, is going on.”
“It’s risky. Very risky. I should go alone.”
“No, Zack. No, you shouldn’t. You’ve been an asset to the Warriors these past few months. You’ve saved lives. And James believes strongly in the true bond between Alpha and Omega.”
“But he doesn’t have an Omega of his own?”
“If it’s to be, it’ll be. That’s kind of how this works.”
“So, we go find Matthew?”
“We leave tonight. It’ll take two days to get there. Just in time for the celebrations.”
Andrew clapped him on the shoulder.
“Go get some rest. We’ll need our wits about us.”
The loneliness grew easier to bear as the weeks passed. His sister Cara managed to visit once or twice a week and sometimes even convinced whoever was watching him to let them out for a walk. They were so close to the outskirts of the Pack that the chances of running into anyone else were low.
The rest of his family were infrequent visitors. His brothers never came, his father only when it had been deemed absolutely necessary. His mother came once a week, without fail, though she never looked at him, staring at a point on the wall behind him or watching out the window while they sat in silence.
Their shame was great and it weighed heavily on him, growing each day with the swell of his stomach. They had already viewed having an Omega as a mixed blessing, but an unbonded Omega who had done the unthinkable and gotten pregnant by a rogue? His name must fall from their lips like a curse.
While he recovered from his injuries, his parents had let him stay in his own room. But all that changed once he had healed. They set down very clearly what would happen next.
There was to be no termination of the pregnancy, no matter how unwanted it was, for fear of damaging his future fertility. He would remain on Pack land until he gave birth and then Matthew would be handed over to Bear Lake, to mate and bond with their Alpha on his next heat.
At first, he thought it was all for the best, but as the baby grew, so too did his misgivings. He thought about Zack constantly; the Alpha haunted his waking hours as well as his dreams. A hundred times, he’d considered trying to make contact. If he got a letter into the right hands, he knew it would reach Zack. But he couldn’t bear the idea of getting his hopes up only to suffer another rejection. Zack had abandoned him at the hospital, he couldn’t let himself forget that.
The sound of a door opening pulled him from his thoughts. He clambered to his feet, scenting Cara before he saw her.
“Dorothy’s on duty. How about we get out and stretch your legs?”
He followed her, eager to get some fresh air. They didn’t allow him out by himself and whoever had been charged to watch him, from the small group handpicked by his parents for their discretion, weren’t allowed to be in the same room as him unless absolutely necessary.
“You look tired. Have you been sleeping?”
He shook his head. “I keep dreaming. About Zack.”
They’d talked a little about him over the weeks and months but it was a painful subject.
“Have you thought about trying to contact him?” she ventured.
“He won’t want to hear from me.”
“You’re having his baby,” she said pointedly. “And you know what Alphas are like about children.”
“He didn’t want a bond or a lifelong mate, he won’t want a child. He left me alone at that hospital for a reason.”
Cara twitched at his words, a strange expression crossing her face.
“What? What did I say?”
“Who told you he abandoned you at the hospital?” she asked carefully, her eyes fixed on the path ahead of them.
“He wasn’t there when I woke up, mother and father told me he’d just left me there. Why?”
She didn’t answer, the expression on her face one he hadn’t seen before.
“Cara, what is it?”
“I overheard Arthur talking to Simon and Brett. Bragging, really. About how they’d stopped Zack from reaching you at the hospital and then tricked both you and him by drugging you and keeping you upwind as they left while Bear Lake’s shifters held him, so yo
u wouldn’t know he was there.”
He stopped walking and just stared at her.
“Zack… Zack didn’t abandon me?”
“Bear Lake were supposed to take him aside and kill him.”
Her words sent an electric shock through him, the air sucked from his lungs. Zack, dead?
“But they didn’t,” she rushed to say. “Another shifter turned up and helped him escape.” And just like that, his breath returned to him and he dragged in long gulps of air.
“You shouldn’t be this attached to a shifter you’re not bonded to, Matthew. It’s not healthy. You’re just going to make yourself more miserable.
“Zack didn’t leave me. He stayed with me.” Those words, those faintly recalled promises. Had they been real? Had they been Zack’s?
“I want to get a message to Zack,” he told her. For the first time in a very long time, she smiled at him.
“There’s my brother. I was beginning to think I’d lost him.”
She walked with him back to the house, promising to see what she could do about getting a letter out.
Chapter Twenty-Two
He wasn’t long back when the doctor arrived, carrying the ultrasound machine in with him. Matthew never liked it. Not just the image of the growing baby he tried hard not to look at, but the doctor’s manner made him uncomfortable. He’d always been very interested in the fact Matthew was an Omega. Now, with Matthew pregnant, he seemed even more excited to be documenting the changes in the Omega’s body. The doctor saw it as a unique opportunity but it made him feel like a science experiment.
“Now, Matthew, we’re going to do a longer scan today. Anything new to report?”
There was one thing, but he was hesitant to mention it.
“Spit it out, Matthew. You want to give birth to a healthy baby, don’t you?”
“Things are sore… down there.”
It was hard to articulate where the pain was, except that it was somewhere he didn’t think he’d ever felt pain before.
“Well, this is about the time the entrance to the birth canal should start to form. I believe it can be somewhat uncomfortable. I’ll have a look after the scan.”
He wanted to tell the doctor there was no need but knew it would be no use. They were so concerned with protecting his fertility that the checks were very thorough.
The scan lasted what felt like a long time. Long enough for the sun to start sinking towards the horizon so that the doctor had to get up halfway through to turn on the lights. Doctor Blake didn’t say much, just hummed and hawed. The probe pressing on his stomach began to hurt but by then the scan had reached its end.
“Alright Matthew, just slip those pants off and I'll do a quick exam.”
He shut his eyes, grabbed the sheets with both hands, and breathed through the discomfort.
“Your cervix has started to shift in preparation for the birth but it’s still tightly closed,” the doctor commented. “The tenderness is nothing to worry about. It’s just as I suspected, the entrance to the birth canal is forming. It won’t open until closer to the birth. Shouldn’t cause anything more than a bit of discomfort.”
He patted Matthew on the hip before moving away to gather up his equipment.
“Same time next week,” he called cheerfully as he left.
Cara wangled his watcher into letting them out for another walk the next day. She’d gotten quite good at turning up the charm.
This time, instead of the leisurely walk they usually took, she hurried him along, taking a very direct path but to what destination, he didn’t know, except that they were heading deeper into Pack territory.
She stopped abruptly, pulling Matthew to stand beside her in the shade of a large tree.
“Shh,” she said. “Listen.”
He did. Past the sounds of the outdoors, in the near distance, he could hear voices. His father. His mother. And Morgan, his father’s right-hand man.
The topic of conversation was Matthew, of course. And yesterday’s doctor’s visit. Matthew had tried not to look too closely at the ultrasound screen. He couldn’t get attached, the baby would never be his.
“I know Maria and I had intended having the baby raised by a family within the Pack, but we no longer believe that plan is feasible. From the scans, Doctor Blake says it’s a boy and thinks there is a strong possibility that the baby is an Omega. We feel it would be better, for all concerned, if it was placed elsewhere.”
It? An Omega?
“Of course, Alpha. I will handle it with sensitivity and discretion.”
“We can always rely on you, Morgan. You have our utmost confidence.”
His mother remained silent.
They weren’t going to keep the baby here. The one thing that Matthew had asked for, that the baby be raised within the Pack, and they weren’t even going to give him that. He didn’t want the child to suffer for his own foolishness, to be raised in the chaos and stigma that came with being a rogue. Especially if he was an Omega.
Cara caught his hand and squeezed tightly as they heard their parents leave. Hot tears built up behind his eyes and he couldn’t stop them falling. She pulled him close, pressing her face to his and whispering in his ear. “I’m sorry, Mattie.”
He scrubbed a fist across his eyes. It wouldn’t do to feel sorry for himself. Who but himself did he have to blame? Pushing away from the tree, he moved to head back to the house, only for Morgan’s voice to carry on the breeze as he stepped outside.
“Hey, it’s me. I’ve got something for you.” There was a pause, the other side of the conversation too faint to hear. “No, better than that. I told you their Omega kid got knocked up, right? They think the baby is an Omega too and they want rid of it. Put out the feelers, will you? Generate a bit of interest. The bundle of joy should be ready to go in two or three months.”
There was another pause.
“No, no more males from us this year. The Alpha’s not stupid and he’s not malicious. Unless someone really fucks up over the next few months, the baby is all you’re gonna be getting from us. I have my eye on a few trouble makers I can root out next year. And a girl who could easily get her head turned by an outsider. We’ll make good money on them.”
Matt shared a look of horror with Cara. Morgan, his father’s trusted friend, was selling young wolves and was planning to sell Matthew’s baby. They waited until Morgan had gotten into his car and driven away before they dared speak.
“Are you really going to let this happen? You need to put a stop to this, Matthew.”
“How? How can I stop this?”
“We'll contact Zack. He deserves to know and to take some responsibility for the mess he’s got you into.”
“I got myself into this mess, Cara, by leaving the first time. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“So, you’re okay to just hand your baby off, not knowing where it’ll end up.”
“I’ll talk to Mother. She won’t let Father send the baby away. They promised me he would be raised here.”
“Father has no intention of keeping that promise. He only does what he thinks is best. He always has,” she replied bitterly.
"Then we'll tell him about Morgan, about what we overheard."
"Do you think he'd believe us if we did?" she asked, bright eyes watching his.
He considered the question. Would his father weigh the words of his disgraced Omega son and his willful daughter over that of his adviser?
"No, he's never going to believe us. Not without proof."
"And I don't even know how we'd go about getting that," Cara said. They walked back to the house with heavy hearts.
His mother visited right on schedule. Matthew brought the subject up in a roundabout way.
“Have you chosen the family that's going to raise the baby?”
“Your father is taking care of that,” she replied, gaze fixed on the window.
“But you’ll make sure they’re good people? That they’ll take care of him?”
&n
bsp; He watched her every expression and knew his words had got through to her but her response sent a chill through him.
“Your father is taking care of it, Matthew. I won’t tell you again.”
She got up to leave.
“Please, Mother. I need to know he’ll be safe.”
“Enough, Matthew. It’s too late to think about that now. You’ve made your bed.” And he would lie in it, whether he wanted to or not.
She left him to his thoughts soon after. That was all he had these days, thoughts and dreams. His dreams were mostly of Zack, interspersed with nightmares about the rogue wolf who had mauled him. The baby’s kicking woke him more often than not and he was grateful for that. Sometimes he wondered if the baby could sense his distress and what harm that might do. Just another worry on top of many.
When his family had taken him home, he’d been so grateful to be back within the Pack that he had resolved to acquiesce to their wishes. Being Pack was better and safer, he knew that now. It would be the best thing for his children. But would he have to sacrifice this child for the safety of his future children? Could he?
He fell back into an unsettled sleep.
In his dream, a baby was crying. He searched and searched for him. When he found him, he was in Cain’s arms, the rogue’s cruel grin sending his heart beating faster. He stepped forward to take the baby but found his arms held. He looked behind him to see his father and Bear Lake’s Alpha holding him back.
“This was the deal you made,” his father voice echoed.
“You’ve made your bed.” His mother’s voice surrounded him, though he couldn’t see her.
“No, no. This wasn’t the agreement. You promised,” he cried, beseeching his father. “Please, you promised!”
He woke in a cold sweat, his heart thumping as he sat up, the baby kicking hard. Flopping back onto the bed, he let his hand run across his belly.
“I have to see you safe. Whatever that means.”
The Alpha's Wish: Lost Omegas Book Three: A M/M Shifter Romance Page 11
