I recall a very distressed client showing me a photo of herself and a very big dog. All I knew was the dog had died. As I held the photo and closed my eyes, I had a vision of the dog laying on a veterinary table, the woman holding his paw as he was given an injection to go to sleep. I felt a beautiful calmness in the dog, and a sense of forgiveness and him wanting to lick her face, as if to say, ‘All is well, all is forgiven, and you did the right thing’. Upon opening my eyes, I saw that the woman was one minute crying and then smiling. The dog belonged to a neighbour, who had handed her the responsibility of overseeing his care while they were away. A special closeness and bond had developed between them.
He had touched her heart in his own way.
Then he was accused of biting a child. The responsibility now weighed heavily on her shoulders; although there was a unique bond, she was left with no other option but to have him put to sleep. She was devastated. This reading gave her a sense of comfort, a point of closure and a final farewell to an animal that had given her much joy, happiness and affection. A gentle giant to love!
After losing a pet, it’s not uncommon to think you’ve heard the sound of your dog scratching at the back door or your cat’s bell jingling in the hallway. Suddenly you may get that doggy smell in a particular room. Your pet’s spirit will try and grab your attention and let you know that they’re around; often in the same familiar soothing ways as you affectionately remembered them. Just as your pet comforted you in times of sadness, so too they may be drawn from Spirit to be supportive once again.
I recall crying myself to sleep one night, and suddenly I felt a change in the vibrations in the room and I sat upright in bed. There I saw my deceased beagle Bonnie float through the closed French doors that lead from the bedroom to the veranda and jump on the end of my bed. Although I couldn’t see her solid form on the bed, there was an indent in the bedcovers, and when I leant to touch the bed, it was warm. It was so comforting to know my dear friend had come to reassure me that I was not alone in my struggle.
My son was devastated when his dog Rocky was run over, only to have a double blow when the priest at his school told him animals do not go to heaven. I am here to tell you there is infinite proof from my own family’s experience and that of clients—and what I have witnessed as a psychic medium—that there is definitely a transition from an earthly plane to the afterlife for your pets.
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Saying goodbye to beloved pets
I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
Abraham Lincoln
Beloved pets are part of our family, they’re our mates, our companions and our children. They are our lives. Thereby it is very fitting they should be given as much consideration to having an ‘end-of-life’ ritual. A pet’s love is unconditional and they intuitively know that their owners are doing the best they can for their ultimate wellbeing. You may like to hold their paw, stroke their fur, speaking soothing words of comfort and love; even if their eyes are closed they will sense your energies and feel your devotion.
I’m lucky my parents’ home has a very large backyard. The next-door neighbour has some wonderful tropical palm trees that graciously fan over the adjoining fence, providing a little refuge in the corner. Over the years, this special place has become our pet cemetery. Pet birds, mice, goldfish, dogs and cats have all been laid to rest there; and when my children have lost their pets, they too have joined my childhood memories in this little haven.
It’s a place that has brought comfort for the family to know our pets are close by.
Some pets we chose to bury with their food bowl, special blanket or toys. If you have a child’s pet that has passed over, encourage your child to consider some things they may wish to include in the burial of their pet. Let them have some thought in what they think their pet would like to take on its journey to the afterlife. After all, the Egyptians were great believers in farewelling their dead with an assortment of aids to assist their transition from one world to the next.
A little prayer or a favourite song can be recited as part of their fond farewell. Ritual and ceremony can be a wonderful asset in the farewell and grief process. You may encourage them to draw or write a story about the cute things the pet did or fun times they had together on holidays. Children can grieve differently, for some anger may be the way they express their emotions. So it’s important their teacher be notified of a death of a special pet or someone close to monitor them should there be changes in their behaviour so a sympathetic approach can be had.
Although you might wish to shelter your child from the pain of the death of a pet, it’s a wonderful educational tool and experience to understand the process of the stages of life. You are aiding and assisting your child to understand the concepts of this world and the afterlife.
The adjustment to the loss of your special mate, friend and family member will take time; after all they gave you so much affection and unconditional love. Their quirky little personalities lit up your life when you walked in from a hard day at work. The daily routine you or your children had of feeding, giving them water, grooming, taking them for a walk in the park or rolling with them in the backyard will be now be absent. Their companionship will be missed. They were an extension of your life. Many pets will try and keep these bonds of affection close, just as Sue found out with BJ.
The grey mist
Sue and I became friends when I was looking for a new dog for the children after Rocky passed. Money was indeed tight back in those days and Brendan had seen the film The Adventures of Milo and Otis and had firmly made up his mind he wanted a male pug dog—like the one in the movie. Scanning the Saturday paper for advertisements for pugs, all seemed financially way out of our reach. They were in vogue due to the high celebrity status they had achieved in the movie—every child wanted a pug. I had to tell Brendan there was no way I could give him his heart’s desire.
‘But you said I could pick the next dog—it’s not fair,’ he said. What could I do? Well, as I have always been taught when I was growing up—hand the problem over to Spirit. So I sat on the veranda and said a silent prayer to the universe—‘Help me!’ I had an overwhelming feeling to go back to the newspaper and read the ads again. As though it were highlighted in my imagination, one particular ad stood out. I had a feeling that the owner had a problem and I had the solution. So I rang. Yes, she did have puppies, but the price was out of my range. But the seller, Sue, suggested that before purchasing a pug we should come and visit, as they can snort and make funny noises that some people can never adjust to.
Later I found out that she was very particular about who took her dogs. Sue lived in Bargo, which was a good two hours drive from where we lived at Castle Hill, and the cost of petrol would be an issue on the tight weekly budget we lived on. I couldn’t spare the cash for fuel, let along the dog. Within an hour of handing the matter over to Spirit, however, the unexpected happened. I received a phone call from an agitated person wanting an urgent reading.
The donation from the reading enabled us to fill up the car, have a meal on the road and see the puppies.
I rang Sue back and said we were coming, and later she said how strange she thought it was for us to be coming out to look at puppies in the dark! She’d just put all the pups to bed for the night in the garage, but there was no stopping us as we made the lengthy trip out into the bush on the outskirts of Sydney. Brendan enjoyed playing with the pups and grown-up dogs in the garage while Sue and I had a cup of coffee. As we talked, we discovered we had so much in common in spiritual beliefs. And in turn, I was able to share my gift and give her the answer she needed at that time.
We thought it amazing that her prized black pug BJ had the same nickname as my youngest son, Brendan Joseph. It was just the confirmation she needed—that we were ideal potential owners for one of her pugs. She was more than happy for us to have one of the puppies when we could afford it.
Then she said, ‘Georgina, I know you’re after a p
up, but one of my first breeding female pugs, Candy, needs a good home with much love and affection. Would you consider taking her instead of a pup? This would be a gift—no charge. I just need her to go to a home where I know she’ll be loved.’ Tears welled up in my eyes just as Brendan walked in from playing with Danny, a one-year-old pug. The two had hit it off immediately, developing an instant rapport, running backwards and forwards in the garage.
‘What’s up, Mum? Why are you crying?’
When I told him the exciting news, he said, ‘That’s nice.’
Sue sensed there was an issue, and asked him, ‘What’s up, mate?
What’s the problem?’
‘Well, I love Danny. He’s the dog I want.’
I could have fallen over backwards with embarrassment. There was silence for a moment, and then Sue turned to me and said, ‘You can have both dogs, on one condition, that when I need Danny for breeding he’s available.’
That evening we became proud owners of not one but two pugs, at no cost. It certainly is an amazing story of two women meeting each other’s needs. It is a connection that’s lasted more than thirteen years now. Sue’s love for her pugs has extended beyond the grave, and she recently recounted BJ’s life to me:
BJ was my first black pug. It was love at first sight when I bought him. He wasn’t the pick of the litter, but he was mine. It was a soul connection—we just clicked. He was so close to me, and I him. When I had all my lengthy surgeries, he would sleep on my bed all the time. He was my little comforter, my little man. BJ seemed to know if I was down and would always snuggle up to me. He was eleven years old when he passed. He had lost the use of his back legs and had arthritis. He had to be put to sleep because his body was failing him. So I had him cremated and brought him home where he sits on the mantelpiece.
After his passing, I always felt that he was still around me. The first time I saw something was when his breeder came to stay and we were going to a show with our young pugs. It was probably a couple of months after he’d passed. We were in the kitchen and I saw a flash of something go across the room. It happened to me a couple of times, and we both said, ‘BJ’s here for a visit’. It was a quick-moving grey shadow. Sometimes when I’m on my own and have young dogs that I’m attending to, I feel his presence, and at times I’ve noticed the dogs will seem to be looking and reacting to something unseen. A couple of times when I’ve had pups born from his line, black pugs, I see a grey mist and feel his presence. It gives me great comfort and happiness to know he’s around. Just like in our household, we had suffered a loss and were looking for a replacement, you may well undergo a similar situation where children are involved. A possible suggestion would be that the family research what kind of pet would suit your family’s personality and needs. Will it be long-hair or short-hair, big stature or minute? And how about temperament—do we want a lazy dog who’ll sit by our feet, or do we want an active dog we’ll have to walk each day?
You can encourage talk about the special qualities your previous pet had and the not-so-pleasant aspects of their personality, such as barking for hours when you left for shopping. You may wish to use the example of how science has proven the beneficial effects an animal has on a human, selecting specific breeds of dogs who can be trained to be the eyes of someone blind, the ears for the deaf, and tune in to vibrational change in brain activity for their master who is epileptic and sense a seizure is coming on. Pets are now being taken into nursing and aged care facilities as their contribution as a great therapeutic aid to the elderly and infirmed is now acknowledged. They are selected for their nature and placidity. After all, their role is of a special kind of counsellor or therapist. I know some families who have chosen to rescue a pet from an animal shelter, giving them a second chance at life!
When I was considering purchasing a cat, I had a vivid dream there was a tortoiseshell at the local Cat Protection Society. The next morning I rang to make enquiries, and if they have such a cat—in fact they had two. I hurried down and it was obvious which cat I was going to choose—her paw kept poking out of the cage to grab my attention. Had her soul sent me a telepathic message she was available for adoption? I called her Miracle, for it was a miracle she’d been given a second chance. Well, if there’s wisdom in the saying ‘cats have nine lives’, Miracle is on her second—or perhaps she’s already been full circle and reincarnated a number of times!
40
Moving forward Moving forward
There comes a special moment in everyone’s life, a moment for which that person was born. That special opportunity, when he seizes it, will fulfil his mission—a mission for which he is uniquely qualified. In that moment, he finds greatness. It is his finest hour.
Winston Churchill
Do not be afraid that death is final. You have lived this life before and will almost certainly return again through reincarnation to continue the lessons and choices you have made with your soul’s grouping on this earth. There are no final goodbyes, as there is no death, only an intermission between heaven and earth while you are waiting to be reborn to experience another karmic path.
So what do you do and accomplish ‘in the meantime’ until we meet again in another lifetime? There exists now a powerful opportunity for your soul’s development and happiness to look at special ways to celebrate and remember the special soul connection that existed with your dearly departed.
Reclaiming life
Grace had watched her husband, Richard, slip away with leukemia. It had been five long months, eventually ending with a vigil by his bedside. Samantha, their five-year-old daughter, would clamber up on her daddy’s bed and rest her little dark curly head upon his chest. She felt reassured when she could feel the beat of his heart.
A year had slipped by since his death, and now Grace was seeking some direction in her life with a General/Futuristic reading.
It was most evident that this vibrant 33-year-old was exhausted.
She had turned her grief inward, focusing on Samantha’s needs, trying to be both mother and father. She admitted that she felt cheated, and had been building up some frustration and resentment now that she was left alone to raise her little one. Would she have another relationship, someone who would love her and her daughter? They were a package deal after all. She needed to reclaim her life.
Grace needed to focus on the basics—to get back to healthy, nutritious foods, and to have take-away food only as a ‘treat’ instead of every meal. Her physical life had been stagnant and she didn’t see where she could fit in an exercise routine with Samantha’s daily activities. Looking at her options, I thought hiring an exercise bike would allow her to oversee her child’s activities while using pedal power.
Weekends could include a fun walk by the beach or in a park.
And by buying a kite for Samantha and herself, it would be like waving to Daddy up in the sky. They may even choose to place a little kiss on the wings of the kite and see how far the wind could take their loving kisses to the heavens. It would be a fun activity that included exercise, and they would have some happy moments in nature playing together.
I could see that the power of touch through massage would be of great benefit to Grace, and a practitioner who could work with the subtle energies of the auric field and clear built-up negativity would definitely give Grace a feeling of release. I’m so fortunate to know one such person who possesses all these skills, plus she is a master of psychotherapy—Alison. The timing was just right for Grace to start her inward journey to release her pain and look at formulating some direction for her future. I knew she and Alison would be the right match.
Next it was time to look at something new—a skill or a hobby that she had always wanted to do, but never got around to. Instantly, Spirit showed me a pair of bright red dancing shoes. Had she considered dancing? Grace laughed. Just before she met Richard she was enquiring about enrolling in Latin-American classes. Bingo!
Thanks Spirit, you knew exactly what she needed.
Gr
ace felt guilty about leaving Samantha with a caregiver.
Money was not the issue; it was the security of knowing they only had each other. There was the need to wean each other from this codependence. Two hours would be the first little break while she met up with a girlfriend for coffee; then perhaps the next break would be half a day. It would be a slow but steady adjustment for all.
Grace could implement these small steps immediately, and I felt Alison would take her on her journey of her self-discovery.
Tears welled up in her eyes—she still felt heavy-hearted on special days such as Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day. How could she overcome the grief for both of them? She had purchased a beautiful carved camphor box for Samantha to place special paintings and craftwork she did at school for her daddy to ‘see’ which sat at the end of her bed. But she needed a practical ritual beyond the house that would see both of them getting excited. I suggested she consider naming a star after her husband. On special days, such as his birthday, both she and Samantha could go to a local observatory and look at ‘Daddy’ shining down and smiling on them from his heavenly home. A huge grin appeared on her face—she could do this.
I then suggested that when Samantha had a birthday or a special painting or message she wanted to give to Daddy, that they purchase some helium balloons and tie a very small piece of cake, or the painting, to the balloon and send it to heaven, just for Daddy.
‘Samantha loves balloons, why didn’t I ever think of that?’
Grace said. ‘I’ve searched high and low for grief books for children, but none with practical rituals. Can you guess what Sam and I will be doing this weekend?’
Grace bounded out of my apartment, a woman on a mission.
Richard’s life was to be a celebration.
Dealing with the hurt of loss
Individuals and families can differ in the ways they experience grief, much like the waves of the ocean coming up and down. So too some individuals will appear to be riding the crest of their grief— they seem controlled and functioning well in society, but they may suddenly become aware of their beloved’s favourite perfume or hear their favourite song and come undone. A special day such as Christmas, a birthday or anniversary can trigger a sudden temporary surge of grief and they appear to come down with a crash.
Dearly Departed Page 20
