by Alexa Davis
“Come on, hold my hand.”
Finally, we broke free of the apartment and took the elevator down to the bottom floor. I’d learned now that sometimes the stairs were essential because it was a bit of a temperamental machine, so when the opportunity was there, it was best to just take it.
“Looks like the sun is shining today,” I commented as we pushed the front door open. “Should be a nice day, if there’s anything you want to do? Maybe we could go to Central Park.”
“But I’ve already been there,” Meghan replied innocently. She didn’t realize how much that sentence ripped my heart from my chest, I hated that I couldn’t be with her all the time. She didn’t see it that way, though; she was just saying the truth as all three year olds did. “I want to do something different.”
“Okay, well, we’ll have a think about it as we eat. Come on.”
On the way, I noticed that Meghan was still waving to everyone as we passed, which reminded me that I hadn’t yet had the stranger danger talk with her. That was just something else that I urgently needed to add to my to do list…a list that was growing wildly by the second. Maybe I would do that today as we sat in the café. No time like the present, after all…
That thought was stripped right from my head as I walked inside the place that I’d been fantasizing about for days, just for it to turn from a dream to a nightmare in a heart beat. It seemed there was just one person in this city that I couldn’t avoid, however hard I tried, and this was just another place that was tainted by his face.
Zack. My damn neighbor. He was everywhere: at home, at work, now here. He was sat at the table in the corner with another man, and they were laughing loudly over something one of them had just said. There was a part of me that wanted to spin right around again and to find somewhere else to eat. My appetite had been stripped from me, but my darling daughter had other ideas.
“Mom, look at that cake. I want that cake!” She raced to the counter and pressed her face up against it, making my choice for me. “Can I have that one?”
“Yeah, of course you can,” I sighed deeply, wishing that my heart wasn’t thumping quite so loudly. Maybe we could just do this quickly, we could get in, eat, and leave before Zack saw us.
It was unlikely, but not impossible, wasn’t it?
“Olivia!” Oh, apparently it was impossible. “Olivia, over here.”
I slid my eyes closed for a second and tried to catch my breath before spinning around to see him. I smiled and lifted my hand in a wave gesture, before turning away again. He infuriated me, drove me crazy, made me want to scream. Why did he have to be here?
I ordered myself a croissant and coffee and a juice and cake for Meghan (after checking that it was something that she could eat) and moved over to a table. Unfortunately, it seemed that the fates were against me because the only free table was right next to the one person I wanted to avoid.
Never mind, I told myself. Hold your head up high and ignore him. This is yours and Meghan’s day, no one has to ruin that.
“So, how are you, Olivia?” Urgh, his smarmy tone pissed me right off. “Long time no see.”
Snarky comments filled my mind, but I decided not to let any of them out in front of Meghan. There was no reason for me and Zack to be antagonistic with each other in public. We could save that for the exercise room.
“I’m good, thank you,” I replied prissily. “How are you?”
“I’m good. Leg’s good, thanks for asking.” The hot bubble circled my heart. I squeezed my fists to keep the anger locked away. “This is my friend, Lark.”
Lark had dirty blond hair and a cheeky smile. He was good looking, but in a very different way to Zack. Not my personal type at all. “He’s just got back from a video games competition in Las Vegas.”
“Wow,” I laughed as I took Lark’s welcoming hand. “You really do that for a living?”
“I certainly do!” he spoke with pride about his career. “I’m just that awesome.”
“Is that Iron Man?” I was distracted by Zack talking to Meghan about the toy in her hand. I knew she had one of her dolls with her, but I didn’t realize which one. It was hardly surprising to find her with a super hero, they were her favorite. “I love Iron Man!”
“Me, too,” Meghan gushed back excitedly. “He’s so cool. He’s made of iron.”
Lark kept trying to draw me back into a conversation with him, but I couldn’t seem to drag my eyes away from Zack. I hadn’t ever seen a man talk to her in such a carefree, easy way before, and it was safe to say I was intrigued. As they talked, all the hard outer shell that usually surrounded Zack simply fell away, and he looked like he could actually be a nice person.
Luckily, I knew better.
“So, what do you two have planned for the day?” Zack finally asked. “Anything exciting?”
“I don’t know yet,” Meghan replied too honestly. “We haven’t decided.”
“What do you think, Zack?” Lark asked his friend with a grin. “What do you think is the best thing in the city to do?” He paused for only a second before offering a suggestion. “What about the zoo at Central Park?”
“I’ve already been to Central Park…” Meghan started again. At least it wasn’t just me she blew off!
“But have you been to the zoo?” Lark leaned in and wiggled his eyebrows at her. “They have lions, and tigers, and elephants… Yhe giraffes are my favorite, but I think you’ll like the moneys best of all.”
Predictably, Meghan went wild with excitement. “I want to see the monkeys, Mom! Can we go?” Before I could answer yes, she continued with a sentence that cooled me right back down again. “All of us?”
Urgh, no. The idea of spending more time with Zack filled me with dread. “Well, it’s supposed to be our day…”
“But I want us all to go!” she whined. It was hard not to feel offended by the thought that she didn’t want to hang out just the pair of us. “It isn’t fair.”
“I’m sure Zack and Lark have better things to do…”
“No, we don’t,” Lark interrupted before standing up. I shot him an awful look, but he didn’t seem to get it. Either that or he was ignoring me. “Let’s get a cab over there right now.”
I wanted to protest, to yell at the men for taking my day, but Meghan looked really excited. I didn’t want to crush her spirits by telling her that she couldn’t have the day that she wanted just because I didn’t like it.
“Okay, whatever,” I sighed. “Let’s go.”
***
My irritation grew the entire cab ride over and spilled right over as Zack paid for all of us to go into the zoo. This was why I worked so hard, to afford things for me and my child. I didn’t need him taking over everything for me, like I couldn’t cope.
“Let me pay for me and Meghan,” I hissed at him at the entrance. “I have the money right here.”
“No, this was my idea,” he smiled patronizingly at me, as if I wouldn’t remember Lark suggesting it. “I want to treat you.”
If we weren’t in front of so many people I would have protested much more, but I could tell that it was teetering on the point of getting embarrassing. I didn’t want to make a scene – the day was already ruined enough.
As soon as we got inside, Lark and Meghan raced ahead of us to see the lions. Despite the fact that he’d obviously been before, he seemed just as excited as my daughter. He had a real child-like quality to him, which made sense given his career. Meghan was loving it. I could tell that she was relishing the attention, which meant I couldn’t step in, however much I wanted to.
“Why the long face?” Zack asked teasingly as he bumped his hip into mine. “This is a fun day out, isn’t it?”
“Hmph.” He was trying to reel me into something, and I really didn’t want to get involved. Now my nice day with my daughter had been ruined, and I just wanted it over with. I didn’t want to spend any more time with this man than I had to.
“Come on, Meghan is having a great time… Oh look, t
hey’ve gone into the reptile house!”
A part of me wanted to protest that she was moving through the zoo too quickly, that she was wasting the money that had been spent on her, but since the larger part of me wanted to move at a rapid pace, too, I didn’t say anything. I simply followed behind Lark and Meghan into the dark, warm reptile house.
“Mom, look. A lizard! A snake!” Meghan moved from case to case, pressing her little face against every one. I tried to focus on her reactions, to enjoy how much she was loving this, but in that small room, I was too aware of Zach to really notice anything else. I felt prickles racing all over me, sensing his every movement. “Come on, let’s go outside.”
As she moved and Lark went with her, a hand wrapped tightly around my arm, fixing me in place. If it wasn’t for the excited thrill he had tearing right through me, I might have pulled away. But intrigue kept me where I was for just a few moments.
Once the door closed behind Lark, I slowly turned to face Zack. His face glowed under the odd speckles of lights in the room, giving the whole thing a real dream-like quality. He leaned in, ever so slightly, and my heartrate flew. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, and I felt excited and scared all at once.
Then, his lips were on mine and I felt powerless to stop it.
Chapter Nine
Zack
Friday
My hands snuck around Olivia’s cheeks as the kiss deepened. At first she resisted a little, her body stiff and straight, but then she relaxed into it. She wanted the kiss and was falling right into it, which only brought my own excitement levels up even higher.
I knew that I found this woman attractive. I was aware that there was something special about her, but I didn’t realize it was going to make me feel this good. I did it because I liked the over-the-top reaction she gave me last time. I certainly didn’t think it would make me feel damn butterflies now.
Maybe this was a mistake.
I pulled back and stared at Olivia for a second. She looked even more beautiful in the bluish hue of the light, so gorgeous that I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her close to my body. My heart thundered violently in my chest, there was a deep buzzing in my throat, and I no longer knew what to think anymore.
Olivia twisted around and bolted from the room as if she had a firecracker up her ass, leaving me confused and very alone.
Damn it, I thought angrily to myself. What the hell was that for? But that wasn’t my real question, not really. What I really wanted to know was why I felt so compelled to do it again?
I gulped down and ran my fingers through my hair, before taking in a couple of deep breaths. I needed to calm myself down, then I needed to enjoy the rest of the day at the zoo.
By the time I got back outside, Lark, Meghan, and Olivia were all standing by the leopard pen, laughing at something. I paused for a moment, considering everything that had just gone on. For a man who didn’t get on well with children, Lark had taken to Meghan well.
Then again, I felt the same way. She was a sweet kid who was easy to get along with. I felt like if I ever was going to take on a child – not that I’d changed my mind about that, of course – then Meghan would be the sort of child that I wouldn’t mind being around.
Then again, it wasn’t really Meghan I was worried about. It was her mom that held my attention.
As my neighbor, I thought she was cute, as my physiotherapist I thought she was challenging, but after that kiss… Well, now I wasn’t sure how I felt about her. I wanted to keep winding her up to bring her out of her shell, but I wanted to kiss her even more. That kiss was incredible, it was too short, and it left me wanting so much more.
As I walked over to where they were all standing, I had to really keep my arms fixed by my side to resist the utter temptation to reach out and grab her. This was going to be a very difficult day.
“Look, Zack,” Meghan called excitedly to me. “It just did a yawn, and it’s mouth is massive!”
“Ooh, don’t get too near then,” I teased while knocking on the glass. “You wouldn’t want to find yourself in that mouth.”
“Why? Will it eat me?”
“Only if you’re a very naughty girl!”
As Meghan laughed loudly, Olivia braved looking at me once more. The expression on her face was barely readable. She didn’t look like she was quite ready to jump my bones, but she didn’t look like she wanted to kill me, either. I smiled brightly at her and sent her a wink, but that only resulted in her snapping her eyes away from mine once more.
It was okay that she felt confused. To be honest, I did, too. It had been such a long time since I’d felt anything for anyone, so I wasn’t totally sure what I wanted to happen. It probably wasn’t even legal anyway, since she was my physiotherapist. Maybe it would be better for me to just forget about her entirely, put the kiss down to a little mishap…
But when I stared at her again, I realized going to be possible. She was just too intriguing.
***
After the zoo, I took Meghan, Olivia, and Lark to a nearby restaurant which I knew would be suitable for Meghan. I hadn’t forgotten what Olivia told me about her daughter, and I needed her to see that I paid attention.
“The owner has a lot of food allergies,” I told her reassuringly. “He caters for many people.”
“Wow,” she told me with wide-eyed surprise. “There aren’t many places she can eat, so this will be awesome. I’ll have to note the name of it.”
We ordered quickly, with even Meghan finding something that she could eat, and then a heated debate broke out about who was better: Iron Man or Superman. Lark started it to give Meghan something to distract her while we waited for our meals to be cooked, but I couldn’t help wading in.
“There’s no way that Superman is better,” I told Lark while winking at Meghan. “Iron Man is strong, practically invincible, and also super cool. Plus, have you seen his outfit? Superman is in a leotard.”
“Yay!” Meghan cried out gleefully. “Iron Man!”
“Superman can fly,” Lark joined in while shaking his head. “Are you insane? Olivia, what would you rather, the ability to fly or to be really strong?”
“I’m not getting into this,” she chuckled. “You can fight this out among yourselves.”
And fight we did, all the way through lunch. Luckily it wasn’t a particularly fancy place, so it didn’t matter when things got heated and loud. We attracted the attention of all the other people in there, but since we’d come in late, after the main lunch rush, it hardly mattered. In fact, some of the people actually joined in with us. Mostly siding with Meghan, just because she was so freaking adorable.
“Come on, let’s go to the comic book shop,” I declared once we’d finished eating. “We’ll see what they sell more of: Iron Man or Superman. That will be the deciding factor.”
“Yeah! Mom, can we?”
We all turned to face Olivia, who had seemingly given up on her resistance to spending the day with Lark and me. “Fine, come on, let’s go. Where is this place anyway?”
“Just around the corner.”
As we walked, Meghan’s excitement grew to an almost uncontrollable level. I got the impression that she was having the best day that she’d had since setting foot in New York City, which actually sparked something within me. I wanted to make her day even better. I wanted to get her to love her new home so that her and her mother might stick around.
***
“You shouldn’t have brought all that stuff for Meghan,” Olivia insisted again as we left the store. We’d been in there for hours, and I had three bags of Iron Man merchandise clutched between my fingers. “It was too much, too expensive.”
“Oh, the kid’s happy,” I grinned at her. My heart lifted and I felt happiness as I watched Meghan’s eye light up. “She enjoyed herself, what does it matter?”
“Honestly? I don’t know when I’m going to be able to pay you back, that’s all.”
“I don’t want you to pay me back.”
I was offended by the suggestion, as if I’d expect her to give me the cash back, whether I’d won the lottery or not. “Don’t be crazy, they’re gifts.”
Before Olivia could ask any more, I hailed a cab, and we all got into it. As we drove home, I fixed my eyes out the window, wondering what I was going to do next. I’d been predictable for such a long time. I’d been very careful ever since the accident, so to know that anything could happen at any moment was exciting. I liked the sense of being out of control.
“I’m going to carry her in,” Lark insisted as I paid the cab driver. “Meghan looks exhausted. I don’t think she’ll make it up the stairs.”
We took the elevator to try and get in quicker, but it didn’t matter. The day had worn Meghan out, and she fell asleep in Lark’s arms. She looked so peaceful and angelic lying there in his arms, but Olivia only looked stressed.
“Oh my goodness, she’s asleep already? She’s going to wake up so early.”
“Don’t worry about that now,” Lark chuckled. “She might not, she’s done a lot today so you might get lucky. I’ll put her into bed, which way is her room?”
While Olivia pointed him in the right direction, he shot me a warning look. It was almost as if he could sense the change within me and he knew that I wanted to kiss Olivia. Was this him giving me the time to do so? I wasn’t willing to pass up the opportunity, just in case.
As soon as he’d gone from sight, I pulled Olivia back to me and pressed my lips more gently up against hers. The sparks came back. I felt that wonderful fluttering sensation running through me again, so I wrapped my arms tighter around her. I wanted to cling to this feeling for as long as possible.
It was just a shame that she didn’t seem to feel the same way.
“Stop it.” She finally pushed back and forced her lips away from mine. Her eyes were wide and questioning. “Why do you keep doing that?”
Because I really want to, because you’re beautiful, because I actually like you!
