‘I don’t have much experience with anything, but if you want to talk about it, I’m happy to listen.’
‘Thank you. Later, perhaps, after I’ve had time to...digest it all.’
The maid came in then to escort them to dine. It wasn’t until he was leading his wife to the table that Ben recalled the other thing his mother had mentioned—that he must be in love with Alyssa.
Could he be? The implications of loving her were so far reaching, he didn’t want to deal with that now. It was all he could handle at the moment to sort out how he felt about his mother’s revelations.
Chapter Fifteen
After a long day’s travel, they reached London the next evening. They’d both been rather silent on the journey, Ben looking over his notes about the upcoming session—when he could keep his thoughts from wandering back to the shock of what his mother had confided—Alyssa studying her drawings and compiling lists of which birds she still needed to sketch.
Usually, as the coach approached the last toll gate and the outlines of the city appeared in the hazy distance, Ben felt a rising excitement. This time, even the imminent reconvening of Parliament and his determination to finish their vital work did not pull him from his melancholy. Whether because the sunshine and stimulation Alyssa brought to his days would soon be lost, or because he was so unsettled and uncertain about what he should do regarding his father, he wasn’t sure.
The first of the notes waiting on his desk when they arrived back at Queen Street brought him face to face with the second of those problems. Writing that he was sorry he had been out of town and unable to attend the wedding at Lady Sayleford’s, Viscount Chilford asked that his son call upon him as soon as convenient.
There was also a note from Giles, informing him the Hellions planned to meet the next day to discuss their plans for the opening of Parliament. And Russell and Mrs Ingleton both informed him they had arranged a carriage and servants for him and Alyssa to review.
Had he been the Viscount’s legitimate son, he would have made a courtesy call on his father to inform him of his intention to marry and arrange to introduce his intended, before the wedding took place. Since under law, he was the ‘child of no man’, that had not been necessary—he didn’t need to consult his father about anything he did.
Still, he probably ought to introduce his wife to the Viscount. But although he couldn’t imagine his father would have any objections to his marrying an earl’s daughter with a fat dowry, it might be better to find out why he’d been summoned before he took Alyssa to meet the Viscount.
Not that his father had ever enacted any scenes. In fact, to be fair, it had always been Ben who was stiff and formal and frigidly polite on the few occasions when they met. The Viscount, he now realised, had been forbearing—invariably displaying a calm, quiet concern for his prickly eldest child, which was as warm an emotion as Ben would accept from him.
He’d always believed his father tolerated his near-contempt because of the guilt he felt over his treatment of Ben and his mother. Had he maligned his father all those years?
The next few days would be very busy, as he met with his friends and helped Alyssa ready herself for her next journey. The mantel clock having just chimed eight in the evening, he decided on the instant to visit to his father this very night.
Of course, proceeding at once without first sending a note meant it was quite possible the Viscount might be out. But if he were at home, Ben could settle the business at once, before embroiling himself in the many tasks he needed to accomplish over the next week. And he had to admit, ever since his mother had related the full story of their relationship, he’d been unsettled, driven to talk his father even though he wasn’t sure exactly what he meant to say.
Leaving the library, he tracked Alyssa down in her chamber. Smiling as she saw him walk in, she said, ‘Mrs Ingleton has a cold collation ready for us, whenever we choose to eat it. I’d prefer to finish the rest of the boxes first, unless you are famished...for food.’
Her hint of intimacy momentarily distracted him from his other concerns. Pulling her into a hug, he murmured, ‘I’ll claim what I’m most famished for later.’ Releasing her, he continued, ‘I’ve had a note from Giles informing me that we’ll be meeting tomorrow afternoon, so perhaps we can look at the coach Russell procured and interview the maids and grooms in the morning.’
‘That would be fine.’ She chuckled. ‘There was a positive mountain of invitation cards for us. Lady Sayleford must have done her work well, spreading the story of our “fairytale romance”. I’m sure everyone who knew me during my two Seasons is astonished I found someone who liked me enough to propose and can’t wait to observe the happy couple. Fortunately, I’ll have left London before most of these events take place, but I thought we should attend the rout Lady Sayleford is giving in our honour two nights hence.’
‘Yes, I suppose that’s obligatory, though you can use my need to prepare for Parliament as an excuse to avoid any others you don’t wish to attend. I’ve had another card, too—a summons from my father. I thought to go now, see what he needs and arrange a time for you to meet him before you leave. Go ahead and eat if you choose; I’ll get something when I return.’
‘Is anything amiss?’ she asked, studying his face.
Since he hadn’t yet decided how he felt about the situation of his mother and father, he hadn’t said anything about it to Alyssa. ‘No, nothing amiss. I’ll give you a report when I return.’
Dropping a kiss on her head, he turned away, feeling her speculative gaze on him as he walked out.
* * *
The stroll from Queen Street to the imposing Chilford House on Berkeley Square took him just a few moments. His father’s butler answered his knock and, though he had only called there a handful of times, in the way of butlers, Travers not only recognised him, he seemed to be expecting him.
‘Good evening, Mr Tawny. Won’t you follow me? I’ll let the Viscount know you are here. Some wine while you wait?’
Accepting the wine, but too agitated to sit and drink it, after the butler bowed himself out, Ben paced the parlour. He knew he’d have to ask his father about the events his mother had described. He wasn’t sure he was ready to hear the answers.
After holding himself aloof, anger smouldering within him his whole life at the man who’d condemned him to be born a bastard, it was hard to imagine seeing his father in a different light. But if it were true—and he had no reason to doubt his mother’s word, especially as her account transferred to her own head the majority of the blame he’d always assigned to his father, another circumstance he wasn’t sure yet how to deal with—in fairness, he would have to re-evaluate his attitude towards the Viscount.
A few minutes later, the door opened and Ben’s father walked in.
No one who viewed the two men together could doubt that Ben was the Viscount’s son. They were of a height, with the same dark hair and green eyes, the same lean face and prominent cheekbones. There were silver highlights now in the hair of the man of whom Ben was the mirror image, lines at the edges of the eyes and on the forehead. But his calm, measured pace and steady gaze had changed not since the first time Ben had met him, when he arrived at Eton as a boy.
Hating him then for taking him away from his mother and being the cause of the teasing and scorn the other boys directed at him, Ben had initially refused to speak to him.
His father walked over and offered a hand. ‘Good evening, Ben,’ the Viscount said as he shook it. ‘Thank you for stopping by so quickly. I understand you only returned to London this evening.’
‘How did you know? Are you having the house watched?’ Ben asked before he could stop himself. He grimaced, finding it hard to stifle the adversarial response ingrained in him over so many years.
As usual, his father didn’t seem to take offence. ‘Actually, yes. I won’t be in
London long and didn’t want to miss seeing you. Won’t you have a seat?’
After they both took an armchair and had a sip of wine, his father continued, ‘First, let me congratulate you on your marriage. As I said in my note, I’m sorry I wasn’t in London to attend Lady Sayleford’s reception. I...assume she had your permission to invite me. In any event, I’m not acquainted with your bride, but the Countess tells me she is quite a little beauty and extremely talented. I hope you will be very happy.’
‘Thank you, sir. I hope to be. If you would like, I will bring her to call.’
‘I should very much like to meet her, perhaps at another time. I only came to London to see you and must return to Deane’s Hill as soon as possible.’ He paused. ‘Lady Chilford is quite ill.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Although in his younger days, Ben had hated the woman who prevented his parents from marrying, as he grew older, his attitude towards his father’s wife had softened. A young lady, he’d learned, would have little choice but to wed the man her family chose for her.
‘I had intended to offer your bride some jewellery as a wedding present, but after talking with Lady Sayleford, I thought she might appreciate this more.’ Setting down his glass, the Viscount walked over to the secretary, opened the top drawer and brought out a large, flat tin box.
‘One of the Audubon folios!’ Ben said, recognising it instantly from the large size.
‘I’ve also obtained a copy of the commentary Audubon and his Scottish ornithologist, Mr MacGillivray, recently published to accompany the engravings. I’ve located two more of the already issued folios and have arranged to subscribe to the series. I hope your wife will enjoy them.’
‘That’s extremely generous, sir,’ Ben said, taken aback at the cost—and the care the Viscount had taken in choosing something Alyssa would love. ‘But won’t you allow me to buy them from you? I had hoped to find a set myself to give her, but hadn’t had time—’
‘Please, let me do this,’ his father interrupted gently. ‘It would mean a great deal to me to give your wife something I know she will treasure.’
‘Then what can I do, but thank you?’
‘I’ll have them sent over to Queen Street tomorrow.’
As the Viscount walked back to his seat, Ben said, ‘On our way back to London, we stopped to see Mama.’
The Viscount’s eyes softened. ‘She is well, I trust?’
‘Very well. While we were there, she...insisted that I hear the full explanation behind your marriage and my birth. Something I’d refused to listen to before. It...paints quite a different picture from what I’d always believed.’
The Viscount nodded. ‘She explained that I felt compelled to do my duty to save the estate?’
‘Yes. And that you didn’t know, when you married, that she was with child.’ Ben shook his head. ‘You know I blamed you for years for deserting us! Why did you never tell me that you had no idea she’d conceived?’
‘You were right to blame me. Knowing I couldn’t marry her, I should never have taken her innocence. You cannot imagine the agony I experienced when I received her father’s letter and learned she was with child. Knowing I could do nothing—nothing—to prevent you from being born a bastard and the woman I loved from being branded a harlot.’
The Viscount sighed. ‘I probably should have let her go, let her build a life for you both somewhere else, where she was not known. But we were both too selfish. The only bit of our lives we could share was you and neither of us could let that go. Angelica suffered cruelly for it, but you suffered most of all. If you grew up hating me, it was only what I deserved.’
For the first time, Ben considered what it must have been like for his father—trapped by duty in marriage to a woman he didn’t love, knowing the woman he did love and the child of that love would be scorned for life—and unable to do a thing to prevent it. How would he feel if the woman involved were Alyssa, and he knew because of him, she would be shamed and ostracised for the rest of her life?
‘It must have been terribly difficult,’ he acknowledged, adding with a grimace, ‘and my ill-humoured, grudging acceptance of everything you tried to give us couldn’t have made it any easier.’
His father smiled. ‘You were a tempestuous lad from the first. I can’t tell you how proud I am of what you’ve overcome and how hard you’ve worked to get where you are.’
‘With some timely assistance from you.’
His father waved a hand. ‘I did little enough. It was you, making the most of your opportunities, who did most of it.’
Out of the still-churning emotions, Ben heard the echo of his mother’s statement. ‘Mama said she wanted to tell me, not just because I was finally willing to listen, but because she hoped we might...put aside our differences. Put aside my anger and resentment, really. And become more like father and son.’
The Viscount’s eyes lit. ‘Nothing would please me more. Are you willing to forgive the sins of the past and let us move past them?’
His father as...friend. It was an odd thought, after all these years thinking of him as a villain, but...an appealing one, he decided. ‘I think I am.’
The Viscount stared at him, gratitude, tenderness and the love Ben had never allowed him to offer shining in his eyes. ‘Thank you...my dearest son.’
After a moment, clearing his throat, he said, ‘There was one other detail I wanted to mention. Lord Aldermont caught up with me at Brooks’s. He wants to propose you for membership and needed to verify he would have my support. As he is a very influential senior member, his nominee should have no trouble being voted in. Would you be agreeable to that?’
‘Me, a member of Brooks’s?’ Ben shook his head. ‘I’ve been an outsider so long, I’m not sure how I would act as a “member of the club”. Nor, frankly, do I want Lord Aldermont doing me any favours. His treatment of his daughter was...less than desirable.’
‘Perhaps. But we must take people as they are, not as we would wish them to be. Whatever he’s done before, her father is looking out for her welfare now, by placing her husband where he can rub shoulders with some of the most influential men in the nation. Besides, being voted in doesn’t mean you have to frequent the place. The connections you could forge there would, however, be of definite benefit to your Parliamentary career.’
That was indisputable. The rest of the Hellions had often ragged Giles, a courtesy viscount and member there himself, for being the only one of their group of outsiders who could hobnob at the seat of power.
Now, apparently, there would be a seat for him, too.
‘As long as you don’t object, I’ll tell Aldermont to go forward. In the meantime, think about it. As I said, you don’t have to frequent the club if you don’t want to. But you would have the right to visit if you chose.’
Ben shook his head and laughed. ‘I’m not sure I’d dare. There’d be this part of me expecting the members to come running to the entrance if I stepped a foot inside, holding up crosses to ward off the vampire.’
His father didn’t join in his mirth. ‘My fault that you grew up feeling that way.’
‘Well, as Mama said, we can’t change the past—we can only alter the future. I would like to do that...Father. Perhaps when you are next in London? Now, I should return to Queen Street. Thank you again for the magnificent wedding gift! Please present my best wishes to Lady Chilford for a swift recovery.’
‘I would, but...she’s dying, you see.’
About to take his leave, Ben halted, shocked. ‘It is that serious?’
‘I’m afraid so. I...never loved her, but we rubbed along together tolerably well. It’s only right that I be with her at the end. However, our conversation tonight prompts me to bring up a matter I hadn’t planned to address until after...her passing. Nothing can change the fact that when I’m gone, the title, Deane’s Hill and m
ost of the land will go to a distant cousin. But there are several unentailed properties that came from my mother’s family, in particular my grandmother’s estate, Oakgrove. Before my brother’s death made me the heir, I expected to marry your mother and establish our family there. It would please me very much to have you establish your family there. If you would accept them, I would like to deed Oakgrove and the other properties to you.’
Ben blew out a breath. ‘So I’m to contemplate becoming a respectable member of Brooks and an estate owner, all in one evening?’
‘Your carefree days with nothing to consider but the wishes of your constituents could soon be over,’ his father said gravely, a twinkle in his eye. ‘You will have to steel yourself to dealing with lazy tenants, failing crops, ageing roofs that leak and the hosts of other problems that bedevil a landowner. Think about it, if you would. We can discuss it more thoroughly when I return to London.’
The Viscount held out his hand. ‘Goodnight...my son.’
Ben shook it. ‘Goodnight...Father.’
Feeling like the world his mother had set spinning two days ago was now revolving even faster, Ben walked out.
He couldn’t wait to tell Alyssa all about it. This was far more than just his father recognising and supporting a base-born son. By implementing the actions he’d just discussed, the Viscount would be announcing to the world that, although he couldn’t pass on his title to Ben, he considered him his heir in everything but what the law forbade. Giving Ben property and membership at Brooks’s would mean elevating him to the position of landed gentry, making him socially and financially the equal of the boys who’d scorned him and looked down on him at Eton and Oxford.
Though he’d still not be equal in rank to an earl’s daughter, he’d be a good deal closer. With that realisation came a sense of lightness, making him for the first time feel easier about the fact that Alyssa had been virtually forced into marrying him. Although he knew their unequal status hadn’t mattered to her, the euphoria that filled him now told him it mattered to him a good deal more than he’d realised. Now she wouldn’t have to wait until he earned his way to a high position in government to have a husband worthy of an earl’s daughter.
Convenient Proposal to the Lady Page 20
