by Gia Riley
“Me? What was it about?” I stop folding my underwear that doesn’t even need to be folded, wondering what they could have on me. Other than my work in the salon, I lead a pretty low-key life these days. If you don’t count my all-night Skype dates with Lane that end up with the both of us naked and satisfied, I’m pretty mellow—almost boring.
“Lane’s always been the mysterious one of the band. They can’t figure him out, know absolutely nothing about his past—not that anyone else does either, but it drives them crazy. Not to mention he can’t be linked with any female celebrities in the business.”
“Because he has me. And he doesn’t like people in his personal business.”
“We know that, but the media had no idea you even existed until he slipped in an interview. They tried their hardest to figure out who he was talking about, even coming up with some creative guesses, but in the end, they had no idea Lane was seeing a girl from a small town in Pennsylvania who happens to be my best friend in the entire world.”
“Lane wants me to have a normal life without being hounded by press or followed by paparazzi.”
Lark stretches out on my bed, yawning like she would fall asleep if I let her. “Why do you say it like it’s a bad thing?” she questions.
“He’s a private person, that’s all,” I tell her, even though I’m trying my hardest not to doubt Lane or feel like his dirty little secret. But if I don’t exist to the public, I have to wonder if I completely exist to Lane—at least in the way I want to.
Although he’s never given me any reason to doubt what we have, I want to be able to claim him as my guy and stand proudly by his side.
“Even with you?”
“We talk, but I want him to confide in me because he wants to. Not because he feels like he has to.”
My best friend can see through my bullshit answers and pats the bed beside her. When I lie down next to her, she turns on her side and smiles at me. “Noelle, I really feel like this is the beginning for you and Lane. These next two weeks will be good for you. You’ve survived months apart, and now that you can be together in the same place for more than an hour or two at a time, it’ll all work out.”
“I hope you’re right.” Even though Lane and I have shared some of the most intimate moments I’ve ever had with a man, we haven’t had a lot of time face to face. My heart craves him, but my body is so nervous it’s already trembling.
“Dude, if you don’t get laid soon, I’m finding you a hooker,” Easton says as he knocks the newspaper out of my hands and sits down at the table across from me.
“What the fuck?” He’s been on my ass about everything since we left Texas, from the toilet seat to the beer in the fridge. “I have a girlfriend, jackass.”
“Then why are you so uptight lately? Your nose is always stuck in a book, you’ve barely scratched the surface with the song you started writing, and if you don’t stop moping around here like a sad little puppy, I’m going to have to find out if you still have a dick between your legs. And you don’t want to know how I’ll do it.”
“You’re a sick fuck, East.”
“I’m right and you know it.” He kicks his feet up on the edge of the table, crossing one black boot over the other. “Admit it. You miss Noelle.”
“I miss Lark. You’re an asshole when she’s not around.”
“Now you’re dodging the question. Come on, lover boy, you’ve been as irritable as a teenager. You’re quieter than usual, and I’ve heard you talking to your girl in the middle of the night. It’s so damn sweet, that little kissing thing you do right before you hang up. It gets me every time.”
With the back of my hand, I push his dirty-ass boots off the table. “I’m not sure how you can hear anything over all the phone sex you’ve been having with Lark since she went back home.”
He doesn’t bother denying, just shrugs. “What I do with my wife really isn’t any of your business.”
“But my sex life is your business?”
“Eh, touché. I’m just trying to bring you out of this miserable funk you’re in.”
“I still can’t believe you’re fuckin’ married. I’d have put money on Dom and Gina long before you.”
“What can I say? I’m irresistible.”
“So I’ve heard—pretty much every day of the tour. I don’t know about you, but I’m more than ready for this break.” Not to mention I’m ready to be in the same city as Noelle. To have her in my condo, my bed, and anywhere else she’ll let me have her.
“Are you sayin’ you’re sick of me, Lane?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. When Lark isn’t on the bus keeping you in line, you’re a real pain in the ass.”
“She keeps us all in line, and we’re damn lucky to have her. Don’t you forget it.”
“I can’t—you went and married her.”
“And you’re probably next. You may not say much about Noelle, but I can tell you’ve changed, too. If you ask me, she’s probably the best thing to ever happen to you.”
He’s right, she definitely is. “I guess we’ll see. If we can stop arguing long enough to get anywhere.”
“You argue because you love her. If you didn’t, you’d still be quietly sitting in the corner writing songs on napkins. But she has you so distracted, all you can do is sit and wait for her.”
“She’s different, East.”
Noelle’s like no one I’ve ever met. She’s so badass, she’s not afraid to go toe to toe with anyone. Her dirty mouth can get her in trouble, but she’s so sarcastic, you can’t help but laugh.
And I’ll take the good with the bad because from the second I saw her, I felt her tiny hands wrap around my heart and squeeze the life back into me. For the first time in years, I felt my pulse in my throat.
She’s had me every day since.
Not that I need Easton’s approval, but when he says, “That’s why she’s good for you,” with as much confidence as I wish I had, I want to believe him. “I don’t see her ever running, Lane.”
I want to believe that, too, but while Easton knows about my demons, he doesn’t have a clue how deep they cut. I’ve scratched the surface during some low points on the road, times when all I wanted was to throw in the towel and get wasted. And, like the best friend he is, he was there to talk some sense into me before I threw it all away for one night of numbness.
Alcohol and drugs may take away the sting, but as soon as the high wears off, the pain slams into me ten times harder. I don’t see that changing unless I accept the past and leave it there, but that would mean I’m okay with it—and even ten years isn’t enough time to separate reality from the shit show I had to deal with.
“I’m trying,” I tell him, hoping I say it with enough conviction for him to believe me.
He could be right about Noelle, and even though we need more time together, instead of living through phone calls and the Internet, I want her to be everything I think she is.
“Take it from the married guy—the right ones are the scary ones. They’ll fuck with your head as much as they’ll toy with your heart. But the making up is just as fun as the fighting.”
I smile, picturing how Lark had him so tied up when they first met he could barely remember his own damn name. He’d miss the intro to the next song in the set because he was thinking about her, screw up lyrics to songs he wrote because he was too busy staring at her in the crowd. He was fucked seven ways to Sunday.
I didn’t get what the fuss was all about at the time, but now that I have Noelle to get lost in, I get it. Fuck, do I get it. “Even though I’m scared as hell to want her, I want her anyway. It makes no sense to want more of something that could do you in if you lost it.”
“Even if you lose it, you get it back. You’ll screw it up, Lane—it’s what guys do best—but she’ll be there even when you piss her off. Sure, you’ll have to buy her something special and grovel way more than you’re comfortable with, but you’ll do it anyway and never regret it.”
&n
bsp; “Noelle’s a little nuts.”
“I can’t argue with that. But imagine how fun it’s going to be trying to tame her.”
“I don’t know, I think I like her the way she is. Might even be what drew me in when I met her. She was so pissed off, but she had this look in her eye like she could either talk to me or rip my balls off and be happy either way.”
“Pfft, that’s something special.” Easton grabs an apple out of the basket on the table, taking a bite then spitting it out.
“Fake one?”
“I don’t get it. Lark stages this damn bus like it’s a house for sale. We’ve never even had real fruits or vegetables until she moved in. Now I have fake one’s busting my teeth.”
“Is this all part of the ‘taming her’ process?”
“Oh, fuck off.”
Laughing, I reach behind me and grab a real apple off the counter, handing it to him. “See the difference now, chief?”
“If you tell her about this, I’ll make you regret it. Don’t think I don’t have ideas, Lane.”
“It’s already forgotten.”
“Good. So, how long is Noelle staying with you? I need to know what I’m in for. I’ll either have Lark all to myself, since you two will be fucking like rabbits, or she’ll want to hang out with you guys as much as possible before Noelle leaves and I’ll get shit.”
“Don’t know what to say about that, but two weeks was all I could get her to agree to.”
“You, my friend, need a grand gesture. Something she can’t say no to.”
When Noelle agreed to two weeks, it seemed like a lifetime considering all we had were short Skype sessions online. Now that I’m about to see her, all I can focus on is how fast those two weeks are going to go—and what we’ll do when it’s time for her to leave.
Our bus driver takes some of the weight off my shoulders when he yells, “We’re pulling into your building, fellas.”
Knowing I’m only a couple days away from seeing Noelle makes coming home that much sweeter. Generally, ending a tour leaves my head spinning; after having every minute of every day planned out for months at a time, I usually struggle to get back into a normal routine. With her here, all I want to do is get lost in her for as long as she’ll let me.
I’m ready for the lights to dim and the rest of the world to fade away.
“Come on, Lane. Leave your OCD on the bus!” Dom yells from the inside of the elevator he’s holding open for me.
Even though he’s in a hurry, I take my time. While they’re ready to go to their places and fuck around before the girls get home, my condo is going to be the same way I left it—dark and empty. “It won’t kill you to wait another minute.”
“I spend more of my life waiting for you than I do for my own girlfriend.”
“I can’t help that I have standards. And that you’re a slob.”
“What the fuck ever. All I care about is that our last show is almost here, and then we’re hitting up Lola’s for my birthday after that. Bring on the pussy and beer, gentlemen.”
“Pretty sure you can’t say ‘pussy’ and ‘gentlemen’ in the same sentence and be considered one, asshole,” Easton says as he smacks him on the back of the head.
“It’s my party and I can say whatever the hell I want.”
“Why Lola’s?” I ask them from the opposite side of the elevator. There’s nothing classy about the club that sits just over the line in Jersey. Lola’s pink exterior has stood in the same beat-up town since I was a kid.
Before moving to Manhattan, Sea Port’s where I called home. Up until the band hit it big, the city was nothing more than a dream I could never afford—and one of the few places I was sure happiness existed.
Dom stares at me like I’m crazy for questioning him. “Why not Lola’s?”
When I don’t come up with a reason fast enough, something that will keep Sea Port in my distant memory instead of reliving it tomorrow night, the doors open on the tenth floor of The Towers. Easton files out, popping his head back in to ask, “You’re in, right?”
“Don’t think my girl would appreciate that too much.” I leave out the part about not wanting to ever step foot in Jersey again. Lola’s is about as classy as a two-dollar hooker and has enough poles to keep your eyes busy for hours on girls who are only up there dancing because they’ve given up on their own self-worth. Not to mention they have kids to feed while their husbands are in the middle of the ocean trying to make a living to support their habits.
I’m positive that, if those girls could be anywhere else in the world than on that pole, they’d be better off. But not everyone’s lucky enough to escape the way I did. Chances are they’re all serving life sentences in a little pit of Hell.
“Come on, Lane. It won’t be the same without you. Plus, we just worked our asses off for five months. I think we need to give Dom a proper birthday and celebrate. We’ll meet in the lobby tomorrow night at nine. Not that I won’t see your asses before that,” Easton adds before the elevator doors close in his face.
Considering Easton has a wife and Dom has a girlfriend of several years, they’re going to catch so much shit for this. My theory is justified when the doors open again and Gina and Noelle are standing on the other side with smiles big enough to knock a grown man on his ass.
Dom scoops Gina up, pressing her back against the wall and devouring her lips in a kiss better suited for the bedroom. You’d never know they’ve only been apart for a couple days. I’m sure I’d tell them to get a room if I weren’t so focused on Noelle.
Her hair’s a little lighter than the last time I saw her in person, and I wonder how long it’s been like that. When we talk online, we’re usually both in the dark. It pisses me off that I didn’t notice something so simple sooner, but I can’t stay mad long. Not when my eyes drift lower and take in the rest of her. I’ve spent hours memorizing her body so that, no matter when I close my eyes, I’ll still see her. Even if it doesn’t compare to the real thing.
“Just let me know when you’re finished,” she says sarcastically, still standing with her hands clasped behind her back, pushing her chest out farther for me to appreciate.
“I could look at you all day, Noelle.” When I finally finish imagining what she looks like under her tight black dress, I’m reminded how powerful her crystal-blue eyes really are. They’re hypnotizing enough to make me forget my own name.
She hesitates for a split second, like I just might stand here for another twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes watching her. As soon as I drop my bags on the floor to wrap my arms around her, her body melts into mine. With her wrapped around me, I feel more alive than I have in months. Even though we’re standing in the middle of a hallway on the eleventh floor, I finally feel like I’m home.
“God, I’ve missed you,” I whisper against her forehead, a few pieces of her hair sticking to my lips as I say the words.
She squeezes me so hard my ribs start to scream, but even though we can’t get much closer physically, she still seems so far away. The only way this is going to seem real is to get her in my bed and under me, where I’ve wanted her to be for months.
“At the risk of sounding really needy, can we go to your place now?”
“I didn’t expect you to stand in the hallway all day. Actually, I wasn’t even expecting you for two more days.”
“Well, I’m not the most patient girl in the world, but I didn’t get to the needy part yet.”
I pull away from her, watching her face as she waits to finish her thought. From the way her eyes are sparkling, it’s going to be dirty—and I’m more than okay with that.
Something about the way we’re standing here, still feeling a little like strangers after being apart so long, reminds me of the connection we had the day we met. Only this time, I tell myself she belongs to me. The girl who was so torn about what she wanted and what she thought she needed is finally in my arms again.
Even though we’ve only moved a couple steps closer to my condo, I
stop again to kiss her. “Surprise,” she mumbles against my lips.
I don’t stop kissing her long enough to ask her what made her come early, and if it means she’s staying longer, too. The last thing I want to talk about is her leaving again. I plan to give her my undivided attention for as long as I have her.
The longer we stand here kissing, the more desperate she becomes. “Shit, Noelle.”
She looks up at me with worried eyes. “It’s okay that I’m here, right?”
“You’re really asking me that question after a kiss like that?”
“A kiss like what?” she whispers as her hands roam across my ass.
“Baby, I’m glad you’re here and I want lots more of that shit, but we need to get to my place. Preferably fast.”
“Your condo or your bed? Because they’re two totally different things,” she says with a squeal when I smack her ass harder than I should in a public place.
I glance behind us, but Dom must have already pried Gina’s back off the wall because they’re nowhere in sight. After picking up my bags, I give Noelle a look that makes her squirm. “Always my bed, beautiful.”
She nods, waiting for me to pass by her before she turns and follows me to my front door. I try to hold everything and unlock the door at the same time, not wanting to waste a single second with her, but she takes the keys from my hand, laughing as she says, “I sure hope you can get it in faster than that tonight.”
“Tonight? I’m about five seconds away from showing you how it’s done, babe.”
She pushes the door open with wide eyes, my threat making her breathe a little harder than usual. Once we’re inside, she looks around, her jaw dropping. “I thought you lived alone?”
“I do.”
She wanders over to the fireplace, glancing at the pictures on the mantel. “But it’s so clean. And nice.”
“You were expecting a dump?”
Laughing, she shakes her head. “I was picturing more of a bachelor pad. Not wood floors, actual art on the walls, and all this grown-up stuff sitting around.”
