by Gia Riley
“I don’t think I ever loved Trey, and I’m pretty sure I hate Rusty. For a little while, I thought maybe I could love one of them, maybe even both, but after Trey went to jail, things changed. He wasn’t the same person, and I didn’t want to keep lying and stealing my way through life either.”
“That’s a good realization, but how did you end up at Rusty’s if you’re with Trey?”
“Eventually, once I accepted Trey wasn’t coming back for a long time, I needed a place to stay. The cops took his trailer and locked it up. Because I didn’t make enough on my own to afford it, I couldn’t get it back even if Trey had left it to me. The only reason I ended up at Rusty’s place was because he found me sitting on the front step at Trey’s. He promised he’d help me figure things out.”
“But he only made it worse, right?” I ask her.
Lemon’s face reddens and she looks like she’d rather slither away from the condo and pretend today never happened, but she’s just as stuck now as she was back then. “Rusty said I had to earn my keep or he’d tell Trey I was taking advantage of the situation. I wanted Rusty to like me and Trey to still want me, so I started giving most of the money I made at Lola’s to Rusty for rent and working off the rest. At first, that just meant cleaning the house and doing the laundry. I even cooked him dinner every night, but after a couple of months, that stopped being enough for him. His attitude toward me really changed once things became sexual. He stopped treating me like a friend and more like his personal plaything.
“I knew what we did at night didn’t make me his girlfriend and that it wasn’t okay for him to be so possessive, especially since I was supposed to stay loyal to Trey, but I had nowhere else to go. If I didn’t play by his rules and do what he told me, I’d have to sleep under the bridge with the other junkies.”
“You did what you had to do to survive. There’s no shame in that, Lemon. But I want you to understand that you can’t go back to Sea Port, especially now that you’re pregnant. This baby has to come first, over everything else.”
Like reality just slapped her in the face, her bottom lip quivers until she breaks down into tears again, sobbing into her hands like she did when Lane walked away from her. “What am I going to do, Noelle? I have nothing to offer a child. I can’t even take care of myself.”
“We’re going to help you, Lemon. You’re not alone anymore.”
“I can’t put you and Lane in the middle of this. Now that Rusty knows I’m pregnant with his baby, he’ll do whatever it takes to find me. Because if Trey finds out the truth before Rusty has a chance to take care of it, Trey will kill him.”
My heart races as she talks about what she’s facing, the layers getting more and more complex as the story builds. What sticks in my mind the most is the way she said Rusty would ‘take care of it.’
“Do you want this baby?” I ask her, almost afraid to hear her answer.
“I’m not ready to be a mom, but I don’t want to hurt it or make it go away.”
I sigh in relief, thankful she’s not adamant about ending her pregnancy. Even though it’s not my decision to make, there’s no way in hell I’d let her make that kind of permanent decision without some serious counseling.
Even if she doesn’t want to raise him or her, there are so many women in this world who can’t have children of their own and would do just about anything to become a mother. There are people who would see this baby as a blessing and love it the way Lemon and Lane should have been loved their entire lives. Maybe that’s why it means so much to me that this baby has a fighting chance.
Thankfully, we have time to figure it out, even if Rusty’s threats will be coming sooner rather than later. That’s why I try to be as convincing as I can when I tell her, “We don’t have to find all the answers tonight. Right now, all you have to do is take a shower, change your clothes, and get some rest. Tomorrow, we can find you a doctor and get some answers, okay?”
“But I told you I can’t pay for it.”
“I will. Don’t worry about the money.”
She hesitates like she’s scared she’ll have to add another person to the long list of ones she owes, but I shake my head, squashing that thought before it has a chance to materialize. “You’re sure? It’s so expensive,” she questions one more time.
Smiling, I brush her hair off her shoulder and say, “I’ve never been more positive about anything in my whole life. Plus, your brother is Lane Lewis. We’ve got it covered.”
Even though her heart’s breaking, she laughs the tiniest bit. “You’re right. He is pretty badass when he’s not pissed off.”
“Even pissed off, he loves you, Lemon. We’re in this together now.” It’s the honest to God truth. I couldn’t walk away if I tried; there’s too much riding on this happy ending.
“Are you some kind of angel?”
I appreciate her compliment, but I’ve made enough mistakes of my own to last a lifetime. The only real difference that matters between her and me is that I didn’t have to grow up without parents. “Lemon, I’m just a girl from the country who thinks you deserve better. That’s all.”
She stands up and stretches her arms over her head, and I can’t help but chance a peek at her stomach, wondering how far along she might be. Even though her world is the one tipped on its axis, I’m pretty sure mine’s about to be shaken up, too—especially if Lane doesn’t start talking to his sister.
Looking down at me, she says, “I think you’re everything,” before turning and walking toward the guest bedroom, leaving me completely speechless.
My mind was already made up, but after hearing her say those words, I’m making it my own personal mission to bring her baby into this world in the healthiest way possible.
Our breakthrough gives me the strength I need to go talk some sense into her bullheaded brother. Not knowing what to expect when I open the bedroom door, I’m surprised to find him sitting in the middle of the bed with his back against the headboard, his eyes glued to the laptop in front of him.
“What are you working on?” I ask him cautiously.
He lifts his head like he was so wrapped up in what he was doing that he didn’t even hear me come in. “Research.”
After I grab two of Lane’s T-shirts off the shelf in his closet, I change into mine, hoping he’s going to move past the one-word answers.
When I walk out of the closet, his eyes land right on my bare legs. “Where are you going?”
“To give Lemon a shirt to sleep in.”
Colder than usual, he says, “Are we having a slumber party or something?”
I glance at the shirt draped over my arm and then at him. “I thought it was a given she was staying because, mad or not, you can’t expect her to figure this out by herself, Lane.”
That’s when he turns the laptop around and shows me the three different tabs he has open. The first has the names of OB-GYN’s in the city. The second is a list of open condos in the building, and the last one is a website about what to expect during each week of pregnancy. “Does that answer your question?”
If you ask me, Lemon underestimated her brother, and I probably did, too. Maybe he sulked for a little while and almost shattered the mirror hanging above the dresser, but the rest of the time, he’s already been trying to come up with a plan. And I couldn’t love him more for it. “She thinks you hate her.”
“No, she doesn’t,” he tells me as he starts scribbling down the name and address of an office a few blocks away from here.
Even though he’s concentrating, and trying hard to do something good for his sister, I can’t keep my comments to myself. He can go above and beyond for her, but right now, all Lemon wants is love and acceptance from her brother.
I can’t let her go through the rest of the night believing he’s too ashamed to speak to her. Walking around the end of the bed, I take the pen from his hand and set it down on the bed. He raises his brows and sighs, watching as I walk toward the door. With my hand on the knob, I tell him, “Babe
, I love you, but she doesn’t know how you feel and it’s tearing her apart inside. Please, don’t push her away when she needs you the most.”
I don’t give him a chance to respond before I’m walking down the hall toward Lemon’s room. I can hear the shower running in the bathroom, so I leave the shirt on the bed and say a little prayer that she’ll be able to get some rest tonight. Who knows how long it’s been since she’s had a good night’s sleep in a safe place.
I stand in front of his door for at least a minute, not wanting to bother him, especially after running my mouth before I walked out—even if it was the truth.
“Baby, get in here,” I hear him say though the wood.
I look up at the ceiling, wondering if he has some kind of security system he’s watching on the laptop. When I can’t find anything noticeable in the dark, I put my hand on the knob and slither inside the bedroom, shutting the door with my ass pressed against it.
He closes the laptop, setting it on the table next to the bed. With little indication of what he’s thinking or feeling, he just points to the empty bed next to him and says, “Come ‘ere.”
“How did you know I was out there?” I ask him as I slide into bed.
“I have my ways, but I could see the shadow underneath the door.”
I’ll have to ask him about the cameras in the morning, but right now, I need to make sure we’re okay. When I get situated underneath the covers, I look up at him and shake my head. “Don’t give me that look, Lane.”
“What look? All I’m doing is asking my girl to get in bed with me. Since when is that a crime?”
“It’s the way you said it.”
He rolls on his side and props his head up on his hand, peering down at me with a smirk so sexy I can’t help but laugh. “And what was so offensive to you?”
“What you didn’t say to your sister is offensive. Now you’re just trying to get in my pants so I come so hard I forget why I was ever miffed at you in the first place.”
“I don’t know, baby. That sounds like a win to me.”
“Your methods are dangerous, Lane, and very inappropriate given the circumstances.”
He runs his hand up my thigh and over my hip, his fingers inching their way up my stomach underneath my T-shirt. “You’re wrong, Noelle. So very wrong.” I try to interrupt him, but he places a finger over my lips, shushing me. “I’m going to tell you why you’re wrong if you give me a minute.”
“By all means, enlighten me, Mr. Lewis.”
“For starters, you don’t have any pants on for me to get into.” He dips a finger underneath the elastic of my panties, tickling my skin until he gets to my clit. Rubbing soft circles light enough to tease me and make me crave more, he says, “Secondly, I’ll talk to Lemon, but I’ll warn you right now there’s no way in hell she’s going to come between us, Noelle. I’ll do everything I can to help her, and I’ll keep you both safe, but I can’t put us on hold to make that happen. I’m going to need you even more—every day and every single night.”
Another finger joins the other and they both slowly slide inside me, the pressure so perfect it takes all I have not to roll over and climb on top of him. “Yeah?”
“You’ll always be my number one, Noelle. No matter what we’re facing or how long it takes to figure out, I’m never going to risk losing you. Lemon’s playing by my rules now.”
“That’s fair,” I practically moan.
Laughing, he says, “I went from asshole to fair pretty fast.”
“Hmm, I guess.”
“It wouldn’t have anything to do with where my fingers are right now, would it?” he whispers against my cheek.
“Not the slightest bit, lover boy.”
Just as he moves to hover over top of me, he pushes a third inside, taking my breath away. “I’ll have to try harder,” he whispers with each thrust of his hand. “When I get back, you should be naked.”
“Naked? Okay. How long are you going to be?”
“Not long, but by the time I get back, there’s a damn good chance I’m going to need to relieve a little stress. Think you can help me with that?”
I snake my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to my lips. After a quick peck, I decide to strike a bargain with him. “I’ll tell you what. If you can smooth things over with Lemon and make it back here without punching a wall or raising your voice, maybe even coming up with a plan for tomorrow that doesn’t involve you taking all the power from her, I’ll give you those three wishes you wanted.”
“And I can pick anything I want?”
“Anything.”
As I knock on Lemon’s door, I remember the words Noelle said to me. “Come up with a plan that doesn’t take away all her power.”
Sometimes I wish my girl talked more shit out of her ass because that makes actual sense—and it amazes me how much she cares when she doesn’t have to be invested at all.
“Come in.”
I open the door slowly and find her lying in bed with the TV on. “Whatcha watching?”
“I don’t even know. I’m not used to getting so many channels. I can’t keep one thing on long enough to actually watch it.”
She’s not trying to make me feel bad for all I have and how little she’s lived with, but something as simple as too many TV channels still makes me feel like shit. “I’m sorry, Lemon.”
Tossing the remote on the bed, she pats the blanket next to her, silently asking me to sit down. When I do, she looks at me and smiles. Her eyes are still red and a little bloodshot, but I look past the cut and the bruises, desperately searching for my partner in crime. Lemon’s been dealt a shit hand in life, but all she’s ever really wanted is for someone to love her.
“Don’t, Lane. I’m okay.”
“It kills me that Rusty did this to you. And it shreds me even more that it wasn’t the first time. I’m out playing my drums and drinking beer while you’re being knocked around. I’m so sorry, Lemon.” No matter how many times I say the words, it’ll never be enough. There’s not enough time left in the world for me to ever stop feeling guilty.
Like the angel she’s always been, she leans her head on my shoulder and says, “I’m the one who should be sorry—and I really am. I didn’t mean to come in here and mess things up for you. You told me Noelle was great, but Lane, she’s so amazing.”
“You didn’t mess anything up. Noelle’s already on your team. She was about to kick my ass for you.”
Lemon giggles, and I can tell she’s not used to having someone stick up for her the way Noelle has. “I think she’s pretty badass.”
“She is badass. That’s why I’m keeping her around for as long as she’ll have me.”
Lemon reaches for my hand and wraps her pinky around mine just like I used to make her do to keep her from lying to me or telling our uncle things I wanted to stay between the two of us. Even back then, it was a game of hide and seek.
“I’m proud of you, Lane. Maybe I did hide from you, but I followed Midnight Fate every step of the way. You deserve all the success you’ve found, all these nice things, and you deserve to have a girl like Noelle love you.”
I think back to all the times I searched Sea Port and came up empty, signs of Lemon nowhere to be seen. It could have been so different for her—for us. “I swear I wanted to share it all with you. I promise you I tried.”
Even though I can’t see her face, I hear her sniffle. She’s probably cried enough tears to fill an ocean with the kind of life she’s been living.
“Just because I have nothing doesn’t mean you owe me everything, Lane,” she whispers, her voice so full of emotion it cracks.
Without a shadow of a doubt, I tell her, “I’d give it to you anyway.”
One of her tears dampens my shoulder, and I hold on tighter to her pinky. “You gave me more than you think. I saved every single note you left for me at the diner. Dottie always made sure I got them.”
“Did you read them?” I ask her, praying she at least did that much.
/>
“Every single one. My favorite part was always on the back. You’d scribble your cell number or your schedule so I’d always know where you were or that you were only a phone call away. That meant more to me than anything you could have written inside. It made me feel close to you even when you were clear across the world.”
“Fuck, Lemon.” The more she says, the more she guts me.
She lifts her head and though her eyes are teary, we make a silent promise that she’s never going to be alone again. That I’m not letting her go back to Lola’s or Rusty’s. As far as I’m concerned, Sea Port is already in her past.
“Pinky promise me,” she whispers. “That’s all I need from you.”
My throat threatens to close up and my head starts to throb. I’ve said it to her a million times before, but tonight, I mean it more than ever. “I promise you’re going to be okay, Lemon drop. We’re in this together.”
“Even if you can’t make it better this time, it would still be the best lie I’ve ever heard.”
I let her words sink in as she rolls onto her side and pulls the blankets up to her chin. With a click of a button, the light shining from the TV fades away and the room fills with darkness.
“Night, Lemon,” I tell her as I close her door and lean against it. I feel like the whole world has changed, yet nothing’s out of place or much different than I remember it being.
My heart is still thumping in my chest when I open my door and find Noelle curled up with a book in her hands. I have to laugh when I see her reading with only the light from her cell phone shining on the pages.
“You’re even more amazing than I thought,” I tell her as I slide into bed beside her.
She looks at me, her brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Not many people can tackle a book that size, let alone read it upside down and backwards.”
“Shit,” she whispers. “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.”
“What were you really doing when I came in here?”
“Research,” she states, just like I said earlier, evading my question.
