by Gia Riley
“This is me thanking you, Noelle. For being strong all those years ago and for waiting for me. Do you even know how many times I wished someone would save me and Lemon? Every damn day, I prayed someone would come along and take the weight off my shoulders. That I could just be regular like all the other kids at school instead of worrying about bills, a house, and whether my uncle was going to come home before the social worker showed up. Some days, I felt like a magician, trying to keep as much as I could from my sister and the rest of the universe so they wouldn’t separate us. Other days, I felt like the biggest failure in the world for not doing more to make it better. But no matter how shitty I felt about myself, I still believed there was a reason for me to keep going. I knew if found it, I’d have the answer to all my prayers.”
“Did you find it?”
He pushes my hair away from my face as he stays buried deep inside me. “You’re the reason, Noelle. I may not have known it at the time, but I didn’t give up like I wanted to because I had to find you.”
“And you think someone could be waiting for us?”
“Yes, baby. Somewhere in this world, there’s a little kid whose world is falling apart and they’re having a hard time believing it’s ever going to get better. That’s the child who needs us.”
“You’re serious? You want to adopt?”
“You’ve spent years mourning the loss of children, and I’d never take that away from you. It’s okay to be sad, but I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re letting me down. When you asked if I saw myself with kids, I did. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you they weren’t biologically mine.”
“It all makes sense now,” I tell him, just as he starts to move his hips again. “This is what forever is made of.”
“This, Noelle, is everything.”
The rest of the week and most of the one that followed were full of so much sex I’m still walking like I just rode a horse from one side of Texas to the other. Lane’s been so horned up, he hasn’t let me out of bed long enough to check on my salon.
Considering I’m newly engaged, I figured a third week with him was something we needed as a couple. We transitioned from dating to engaged fairly easily—the only thing really changing is our title, after all—but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to enjoy it. Especially when recording on Midnight Fate’s new album is about to begin, officially popping our happy little bubble.
“You’re really going?” Lark asks from the doorway to the bedroom, where she’s leaning against the frame with tears in her eyes.
“I have to. My salon could be in shambles by now.”
“You know it’s not. Plus, rumor has it you’re selling it.”
Yes, I’ve discussed the fate of the salon with Lane, but I haven’t said a word about it to anyone else. That means Lane’s been picking Easton’s ear, trying to figure out the best move for the two of us. The business may be in my name, but he wants me to succeed no matter if I decide to keep it or sell it. That’s why I tell her, “There are no rumors because I haven’t even decided what I’m doing yet. And why aren’t you at your doctor’s appointment?”
She rolls her eyes like it’s obvious. “Because my neurotic husband wouldn’t let me walk there by myself. Instead of meeting me there, he’s coming all the way back here to get me.”
“He loves you. You can’t fault him for that.”
“I’m not. But last night, I went to the bathroom and . . . well, being pregnant comes with some unpleasant situations that take a little longer. Apparently too long for him.”
“You’re constipated.”
“Ohmigod, how do you even know that?”
“Easton. Your darling husband texted me last night to see if it was normal. He couldn’t find the laptop to look it up himself.”
“Because I hid the damn thing so he would stop analyzing every move I make.” Lark covers her face with her hands, groaning into them. “You can’t leave me, Noelle. I can’t do this without you. You’re my sanity.”
“You can always come with me.”
“Pfft, I can barely sneak away to go to the bathroom. Watch this.”
She fires off a text to Easton, and even though they’ve been in the studio all morning working on some new material with their producer, he still responds in a matter of seconds.
She shows me the phone and I laugh at his response.
Easton: No fucking way. The kid stays here.
“What about you?” I ask her. “He said nothing about you.”
“Unless I give birth right now, we’re a package deal, Noelle.”
“I’m just sayin’, he wasn’t specific about you not going. There’s a little gray area.”
She sits down on the edge of the bed, peering inside my suitcase. “How in the world do you still have all those condoms left? I’ve barely seen you since you’ve been here.”
I just keep packing, ignoring her. Even though the realization takes a little longer than normal to reach her forgetful pregnant brain, it finally clicks. “Holy shit, you told him?”
“He put a ring on my finger. What else was I supposed to do?”
“Usually, you run away when the time comes to tell the truth.”
“You want me to run away from Lane?”
“What the hell kind of advice are you giving my woman, Lark?” Lane asks as he walks into the bedroom, unexpectedly.
Her cheeks redden and she stands up, fixing the sheets like she’s the maid. “I wasn’t telling her to run. Actually, I don’t want her to leave at all.”
I throw my hands in the air as the two people I love the most stare at me with their puppy dog eyes. “You both suck.”
“Who’s sucking?” Easton asks, as he practically trips over the bag I have sitting right inside the bedroom door.
Lark punches him right in the chest. He grabs it, looking at her like she’s lost her mind. “What was that for?”
“I can’t believe you told Noelle about my situation,” she whisper-shouts, like the cat isn’t already out of the bag. “I’m so mad at you.”
She storms past him and he tips his head back, groaning as her mood swings so far in the opposite direction. He looks at me and says, “I was getting sex tonight. If you blew it for me, we’re going to have words, Noelle.”
Even though I get threatened, he follows Lark because he’d rather get yelled at by her than be without her. “Baby, it wasn’t like that. Don’t be mad.”
They bicker all the way to the door until it shuts behind them. “Are we that crazy?”
Lane laughs, mostly because it’s obvious we are in our own way.
We both jump when the door opens back up and Lark storms inside, grabbing the leftover cupcake box off the counter. The ones she’s been addicted to ever since I introduced her to the bakery that delivers. When she sees we caught her, she says, “I think I need these more than you right now.”
“Take it. I’ll get more when I get back.”
She nods and storms out all over again. It wouldn’t surprise me if she finds a little corner to eat them in, making her husband sweat when she doesn’t come right back.
Once she’s gone, I focus on Lane, who isn’t even supposed to be here yet. “What’s up?”
“We took a break for their appointment. Can’t do much without your lead singer.” He moves closer, his hands by his sides even though his eyes already have me pinned to the bed.
“Oh, no, you don’t. I can’t cancel again. The managers are expecting me.”
“What’s another hour?”
“I’m already over a week late!”
“Exactly. One more hour won’t matter. Especially since I won’t see you until tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? I thought you were meeting me at my house tonight?”
“I forgot about Lark’s appointment. We’re behind now. I want you to take my car and I’ll meet you tomorrow morning.”
“How are you going to get to my house without a car? It’s freakin’ expensive by cab. I would know.”<
br />
He ignores me, mostly because he doesn’t like discussing our almost breakup. “Reed will take me.”
“Has he heard from the center about Lemon?”
“Nothing yet, but I guess that’s a good thing. If there were a problem, we’d have heard something one way or another by now.”
“True.” I zip up my suitcase, thankful there’s a little more in it because of all the shopping Lark’s been wanting to do lately. I’ve finally had a chance to replace most of what Lemon took. “I just need your keys.”
Lane digs them out of his pocket and dangles them in front of his face. “I might have to make you work for them.”
“Uh-uh, dude. You have to wait until tomorrow. Which is a shame because I had something special in mind for tonight.”
He tackles me to the bed, pinning my arms over my head. “Don’t mess with me, Noelle. Not when I want you.”
“Don’t you always want me?”
“Yes, but right now, the urge is pretty damn strong.”
“Then I suggest you get to my house tonight, because the offer is only good for a few more hours. Unless Reed’s free tomorrow morning,” I tease.
“You want to fuck Reed?” he asks in shock.
“Do I?” I question as I slide my suitcase off the bed and pull it behind me, silently laughing at him.
“Noelle.”
“Reed did save me. I probably owe him.”
As soon as my hand is on the knob and I’m about to pull the door open, he presses his hand against it, stopping me. “Answer my question or you’ll wish you had.”
“Oh, threats. I like when you get a little crazy, but as much as I’d like to sit around and play, I do have to go.”
He lets me open the door, but he doesn’t let me walk through it. Before I know what’s happening, I’m over his shoulder and on my way back to the bedroom. “Put me down!”
“I plan on it.”
I start to worry when we end up on the bed, my arms next to the headboard. Much faster than me, he works the ropes around my wrists in no time. “Please, Lane. I have to get on the road. You can’t just tie me to the bed every time you don’t want me to leave.”
“Watch me,” he says, all too satisfied.
“Fine, what do you want? I’m willing to negotiate.”
“How about we start with what I don’t want.”
“Okay, fine. Go ahead.”
“I don’t want you to put conditions on sex. Ever.”
“Okay, I’ll do you when you show up. What else is on your mind?”
“I don’t want you to ever be in a hurry to walk away from me.”
“Sometimes I have shit to do, so that’s not totally fair. Plus, it’s nothing against you.”
He puts his finger over my lips, silencing me from the negotiations. “Don’t make me stuff something in here.”
For all I know, he could be talking about socks, but the way he says it with promise in his eyes, he’s definitely not talking about cotton. It only makes me want to rebel a little more. “What else?” I ask him, now that I’m getting all turned on.
“Don’t look at me like that”
“How am I looking at you?” I ask innocently.
“Like you’re up to something.”
“I’m not. Keep going.”
“Don’t ever tell me you want to fuck someone on the payroll.”
“Even if he’s hot? Because I’m not sure I can agree to that.”
“Noelle. Really?”
“I’m just asking.”
“Even if he is hot, I don’t want to hear it come out of your mouth.”
“You think Reed’s hot, too!”
“Holy fuck, woman. I didn’t say that at all.”
“What if it’s a woman? Your stage crew has several women on it, not to mention the band pays Lark and Gina, too.”
He nods, because I have a point. I smile when he puts a little more thought into it. “Who on the crew do you want to see naked?”
There are actually a couple girls who are young and attractive. If I weren’t secure with Lane, I might even worry about them a little bit. But the one I think would bother him the most is the one I mention. “Emma’s pretty.”
“How long have you had a thing for Emma?”
“Since just now, when you made me pick someone.”
He rubs his temples, and I love the way he goes from a little worked up to exasperated in a matter of seconds. He may even be a little turned on now that we’ve moved away from Reed. I can’t help but taunt him a little more when I say, “I bet she’d show up at my house tonight if I asked her. Unlike someone else I know.”
He raises his head, a smirk spreading on his slightly scruffy face. There’s just enough there today to hit all the right places if he were to go down on me. “What are you thinking, Noelle?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“I asked you, didn’t I?”
“Doesn’t mean I’m going to answer you.”
“Why are you being so stubborn and crazy today?”
I didn’t realize I was, but now that he’s mentioned it, maybe I’d rather stay and not have to go back home and end things I once loved more than life itself. Maybe I want to stay here and screw my fiancé like the jackrabbits we’ve become. “I’m frustrated.”
“About?”
“You. The salon. My house. How everything I love is always in two different places.” I see the second his guilt hits him. He reaches forward and pulls at the knots attaching me to the bed. “You’re giving up?”
“I won’t ever keep you from what makes you happy.”
“That’s not what I meant. Lane, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
Once I’m free, he tosses the ropes on the floor and walks away without another word.
Well, shit.
I grab one of the business cards out of my wallet and scribble my address on the backside, hoping this is enough to get him out of his funk and to make me feel less awful for needing to leave him today.
He sets down his beer when I lay the card on the counter. “What’s this for?”
I lean in, kissing him like I mean it because I do. When I leave here, I’ll wish he was with me, but I smile with the taste of his beer still on my lips. “That’s for Emma.”
This time, when I open the door, I leave to the sound of his laughter instead of his frustration.
The drive to Pennsylvania is a lot different this time. On the last trip, I was upset about losing Lane and wondering why he left Lola’s with a stripper. This time, I’m content as I drive his car, even breathing in the smell of his cologne that’s still lingering on the upholstery. It’s like he’s wrapping me in a hug as each mile passes.
I was in a hurry to get going, but now that I’m on the road, part of me wishes I had waited for him. In the grand scheme of things, it wouldn’t have mattered if I had hung around a little while longer. It’s not like the salon is going to fall to pieces overnight. But since I made a big deal about leaving, I keep going in the opposite direction, farther from the man who’s owned every inch of my body since we’ve been reunited.
“I’m so lame,” I mumble to myself as I change the radio station to something less sappy and more upbeat. Since when do I get all ‘I can’t breathe without him’?
Two hours later, when I pull into my driveway, I cringe at the overgrown grass and old newspapers piled up on my doorstep. At least I remembered to cancel the mail delivery.
Inside, the house is the way I left it after my drunken night—a little messy and in need of a thorough cleaning.
I cringe when I lift a sticky shot glass off the counter and put it in the dishwasher. Two empty wine bottles are still sitting on the kitchen table, one lying on its side with a little dribble on the table in front of it. How much did I drink?
Even though it seems like forever since I was in my own house, the reminder of Lemon and her therapy make
s it feel more like yesterday.
Once I take care of the old dishes, I toss most of what I brought home with me into the washing machine before calling the salon. Marni answers, the salon manager and woman who has quickly become my lifesaver. She takes a few teasing jabs at me, and I let her. I owe her for giving me this opportunity to take some time away.
I let her know I’ll be stopping by, and instead of waiting on the laundry, I decide to go sooner rather than later. After being around someone else for weeks straight, the silence in the house gets to me fast. It’s so bad, I practically run to the front door, more anxious than I realized to return to my safe haven.
I don’t get very far though. When I open the front door, I run smack into a hard chest.
“Slow down, Noelle,” an unfamiliar voice says as he grips my hips.
I take a step back so he has to let go of me, my hand already reaching for the knob of the door. “I’m sorry. Do I know you?”
“Not yet,” he says with a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Though I’m pretty sure we’re about to get a lot closer.”
“I’m kind of in a hurry.”
“You’ll want to make time for this, sweetheart. I promise.”
His promise makes my stomach roll, especially when he smiles and inches closer. “Aren’t you even the least bit curious what you can do for me?”
“What do you need?”
“Need is a strong word, Noelle. There are so many things I need, but maybe we should focus on what I want first. Okay?”
I take a step backward and turn the knob, but it’s locked. With my back against it, I can’t go anywhere else. “What do you want?”
He takes my hand off the door and says, “Unlock it. I want you to let me inside.”
My hands shake as I reach into my purse for my house key. Lane doesn’t have a copy on his keychain. Each move I make, he watches me, eyeing me from head to toe.
Once I have it in my hand, he takes it from me and opens the door. “Aren’t you going to welcome me?”
“Come in,” I whisper.
“Good girl, Noelle.”
Each step forward he takes, I take one in the opposite direction, afraid to turn my back on him for even a second. I keep moving until the backs of my knees are against the couch cushions. Again, I’m trapped.
