“See, it wasn’t always just me and my sister. We had a brother. He was three years older than me. One year older than Susan. That’s my sister.” She removed her hand from Quinn’s so that she could run her fingers through her hair. “See, when I was five, and my brother, Connor, was eight, he was riding his bike home from a friend’s house. It was just a block away. Really it was more like around the corner.”
Ann shook her head at the memory. “You could see his friend’s driveway from our side window. So, it wasn’t like it was really that far or anything. Sorry, I’m telling you this like you’re accusing us of something. It’s just that when it happened a lot of people gave my parents a hard time. People told them that their lax attitude toward their children’s safety had been the real cause of it. Not that drunk driver.”
Oh God. “Annie, honey, I’m so sorry. Your brother was killed by a drunk driver?”
She nodded. “Yeah. It was sad, because that day my brother wasn’t the only one that died. My parents did, too.” She looked at Quinn. “They were really great at one time. But when Connor died, a piece of them went too. Actually not just a piece, more like their soul. They just sort of fell apart. They didn’t know how to help each other.”
Ann took a big breath before she continued, “After a while they just stopped trying. Dad had already long since taken to the bottle for comfort and mom was so lonely that I think she slept with other men to feel some sort of affection. Dad never talked to her. He ignored us all really, except when he was telling us what we could or couldn’t do. I think it just got too much for mom. That’s why I think she killed herself. I mean—”
“Woah. What did you say, honey?”
She saw the stunned look on his face. She hadn’t even realized until that very moment that he’d had no idea that her mother was dead. “Sorry. I guess I forgot to mention that. Three weeks after my sixteenth birthday I came home and found mom lying in a pile of her own vomit. She was already dead. Had been for hours. She took about thirty of those over the counter sleeping pills.” A tear escaped from her eye as she remembered what she had walked in on that day.
Quinn reached for her and pulled her onto his lap. Holding her tight, he said, “Oh babe, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.” And he was. The idea that Ann felt any pain at all tore at his heart.
She sniffled a little as she held her tears below the surface. “It’s okay. I mean I was kind of numb to everything by then. But do you want to know the really sad part though?”
There’s more? “Sure, honey. Tell me.”
“I wasn’t surprised. I just got home from school. I walked in the house and I remember getting the strange feeling that something was off, but I ignored it. I was heading back to my bedroom when I saw her lying there in her bed. It still seems so clear to me, like it was yesterday. I can still remember my first reaction to when I saw her lying there. I thought, so today was the day. She finally decided to go through with it.”
Quinn closed his eyes on the cold and bitter sound of her voice. “She told you she was going to do it?”
“No, it’s just that I knew, you know. She was dead long before she ever actually took her own life.”
Quinn held her closer. “I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you, babe. What about your dad and your sister? How did they take the news?” He realized that it was a stupid question. Because how else would you handle a family member committing suicide?
Buried in the crook of his arm she muffled her reply. “Susan was like me. She sort of saw it coming.” She looked up at him. “But my dad. God, Quinn. I thought the worst pain I’d ever see him in was the day that Connor died. But it all came rushing back to me that day. The horrific sounds that tore from his throat.”
Ann sat up and ran her hands through her hair. “God. I haven’t thought about this in such a long time.”
Quinn rubbed a hand up and down her back. “I’m sorry, honey. I know I keep saying that, but I don’t know what else I can say.”
“It’s okay, Quinn. There’s nothing you can say. There’s nothing anyone can do or say. It just is.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I don’t know what was worse. When Connor died, when my mom killed herself, or when my dad realized much too late that he still loved his wife and his family.”
Quinn nodded, knowing that no words could possibly change how she was feeling at that moment. They were silent for a few minutes as Quinn continued to rub her back. He wanted to do something, anything for her. But he felt completely helpless.
“Annie?”
She turned to him. “Yes.”
“What happened to your dad? Do you see him, or talk to him ever?”
“I used to. After my Mom died we all started talking again. Dad slowed down on the drinking, but he never stopped completely. Time went by and neither my sister nor I realized it, but before either one of us knew what was going on he was drinking heavily again. It was hard. I think that he tried in his own way. I really do. Susan doesn’t though. She blames him.”
“Why? How could he be responsible for what happened to your brother?” Quinn wondered.
“No, not with Connor. But everything else. See, she thinks that if Dad was stronger and he was there for Mom, then maybe they could have been there for each other.”
“What do you think?”
Ann expelled a huge breath at his question. A question that she’d asked herself many times before. It was also a question she didn’t want to answer because despite everything, he was still her dad and the only parent she had left.
“I think that it doesn’t matter what I think. That what happened can’t be changed and being angry at my dad, my mom or even the drunk driver that killed Connor won’t change what happened. It sucks. But that’s just the way that it is.”
Quinn was both surprised and in awe at her attitude toward such a clearly horrible event. Anyone else would surely be traumatized, but not Ann. She was stronger than that. God, he loved her.
* * * *
Things were getting too serious. She was showing a side to herself that he probably wasn’t going to want to deal with. He would think she was needy and emotional. She was tired of the tension hovering around the room at the somber topic. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. She just wanted to forget that part of her life because sometimes it was just too painful to rehash. “So, I guess we better go get ready so we can open the restaurant.”
“Yeah, I supposed you’re right. Come on, the last one in the shower is a rotten egg.” He got up off of the couch and pulled her up.
Ann laughed, “Rotten egg huh? That’s really original, Quinn. Did you think that one up all by yourself?”
“Shush woman, come on let’s go.” So they headed towards the shower to get ready to leave. As usual, one thing had led to another, then that thing led to another and an hour later Quinn was telling her, “we better get going and soon. If we don’t hurry we’re going to be late.”
“It’s not my fault that you have an overactive sex drive,” she teased him.
“Actually it is one hundred percent completely your fault.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Yep, totally your fault, you’re too damn sexy for me to resist.” Only Quinn wasn’t teasing. He was dead serious.
An hour later they arrived at the restaurant. Quinn gave her his key and showed her how to unlock and lock the door since it was always a little tricky. He went over the alarm system with her in great detail and also explained about the panic button, should, God forbid they were to ever have a robbery or something like that.
It was fifteen minutes before the first of the staff were due to arrive when Quinn waggled his brows at her suggestively, “You know honey. I’ve always harbored a secret fantasy about this place.”
Ann was sincerely shocked. “My God, Quinn. Where does it all come from? I mean women can come over and over again with no problem. But don’t men need some sort of rejuvenation period or something?” She laughed in spite of herself.
; Quinn walked towards her, “You see honey, most men probably do. But I’m, how could I explain it? Extra special. See I have sort of like a super hero cock.”
Ann burst out in laughter. “You did not just say that!”
He shrugged, “Are you telling me I’m wrong? Are my abilities not all you led me to believe that they were?” He hung his head and slumped down into a chair. “I guess you’ve been faking all of those orgasms huh?”
She just shook her head at him and smiled. “You are something else you know that? Arrogant, self centered, not to mention cocky.”
“Yeah, I am aren’t I?” He gave her his best smile and winked. “But that’s why you love me.” Shit! As soon as he said it he knew his mistake. He had only been messing around. Teasing her. But the look on her face spoke volumes of how uncomfortable he’d made her.
“Well, I think I’m all set here. Thanks for helping me with everything. So, I’ll see you tonight at home.” She walked over and gave him a peck on the cheek before attempting to turn away. But Quinn wouldn’t let her.
Quinn grabbed her wrist and held her close to him. “Ann—I…Are you okay?” He could feel her body trembling.
No. I’m not okay at all. “Of course I am. So I’ll see you tonight then?”
She was pulling away again. Damn it! When was this going to end? He thought about telling her right then and there that he was in love with her. But the uncertainty in her eyes and the trembling of her hands told him that she wasn’t ready.
Would she ever be? Quinn silently asked himself the question. Why did she always do this? Whenever they would get close, she would shut down and build up these walls around her. He absolutely hated it.
“Babe, did I make you uncomfortable?”
“What? No, no I’m just worried. I’ve never handled the restaurant all by myself before.” She gave him a small smile, in an attempt to reassure him.
She was lying. He knew that she was. “Are you sure? Because you seemed to get a little nervous when I said that—”
“Quinn, please, don’t be ridiculous. Really I’m fine. Now don’t you have to go?”
If she had a ten foot pole she would have been using it to push him out the door. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
Quinn walked toward the back of the restaurant. He could feel her following behind him, just inches away. She drove him crazy with this constant push and pull thing they had going with their relationship. He would push her, and then she would pull away. Abruptly, Quinn spun around and grabbed her. Picking her up he walked into the office with her.
“Quinn, what are you doing?” She was pushing on his chest in an effort to be put back down. “The chef is gonna be here any minute.”
Quinn took what she said and pondered it. So, with her still being held in his arms, feet dangling off of the floor, his large hands cupping her bottom, he kicked the door shut.
“Quinn? What’s gotten into you?”
Finally, he set her down and looked at her. He let his gaze wash over her entire body as he took in the sight of the perfection that she was. He lifted his hands and stroked the backs of his fingers down her cheeks. He smiled when she unconsciously closed her eyes and let her lips part open for him.
Quinn brought his lips within a millimeter of hers when he whispered, “You’ve gotten into me baby.”
His words, along with the way that he said them sent a hot streak of aching need down to her womb. “Quinn…”
He kissed the tip of her nose and pulled away. “Have a good night honey. Call me if you need anything.” Then he walked out.
Ann stood there stunned. The short moment they had just shared had been so intimate, so perfect. And then he’d left. Ann turned and looked at her flushed cheeks in the mirror.
“You’d better get a hold of yourself, Ann.”
Chapter Thirteen
Quinn was finishing up payroll at the Roadhouse when Derek walked in his office.
“Hey man what’s up,” he asked as he barely looked up from his computer screen.
Derek sat in the chair opposite his brother and eyed him speculatively. What could he say, and how could he say it? He cared about them both and knew that Ann was slowly dying inside. It was no secret that she was desperately in love with his brother, except to Quinn. But just three weeks after they first met and she was more convinced than ever that Quinn would soon be breaking her heart.
Oh sure, she tried to stay strong and act like nothing was bothering her. But every so often at the restaurant he would catch her staring off, and he could see the fear in her eyes. He tried to talk to her, reassure her. But no matter how much he did, she still believed that she wasn’t enough to make Quinn happy. At least not for long. He wished she didn’t have such a low opinion of herself. He wished that she could see all the beauty and wonder that he did in her.
It was crazy really, seeing as how he grew up with the little shit. He laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Quinn wondered.
Derek expelled a breath before speaking. “You see, here’s the deal. Well, you’re my brother and all so I’m kind of like forced to love you and care about you and all that other crap right?”
Quinn stopped typing and looked up at him confused. “Come again?”
Oh hell. “Look I know you haven’t had the best of luck with relationships, you know, because of your problem.”
Now Quinn was really getting worried. “Yeah? What is it? Is it Ann?”
Derek nodded, “Yeah.”
Shit! “What is it? Is she hurt?” Quinn got up from his chair and headed for the door. “Where is she?”
Derek outstretched his leg to stop him. “Hold on there, partner. She’s fine.” Derek motioned for him to return to his chair and waited for him to do just that.
Quinn sat back down and eyed his brother with animosity. “What the hell is it then?”
Shit. I do not want to do this. I don’t want to get involved. “How do you feel about her?”
Quinn just bunched his brows together. What exactly was he asking? “Why? Is someone…did someone hit on her?”
“No. No, it’s just that. Well, she’s been sort of distracted lately. Have you noticed that?”
Actually, he had. Ever since he asked her to move in she had become increasingly distant. Only sporadically, but he had still noticed it. It was like one moment she was happy and fun to be around and the next she would withdraw from him and seem so sad. And it was almost always followed up with a passionate bout of sex.
“Well, have you?” Derek asked again.
“Yeah, I guess distracted is one way to put it.” Quinn didn’t want to admit it but at first he had just written it off to the emotional crap women go through. But lately he had been in denial. He didn’t want to admit that she might not be that happy. His love for her had only gotten stronger and he didn’t want to lose her.
“Well?” God, it was like talking to a freaking dog.
“Well, what?” Now Quinn was getting pissed. What the hell business was it of his brothers anyway? This was between him and Ann.
“Jesus, do I have to spell it out for you? Damn man, don’t you know what’s bothering her?”
Actually no, he almost said. But the idea that Derek knew what was upsetting her and he didn’t just pissed him off even more. “This is none of your damn business!” Quinn shouted.
Derek was surprised by Quinn’s reaction. He normally didn’t have much of a temper. But if getting his temper fired up was what it was going to take to get Ann back to normal, then so be it.
“Look. I’m not trying to be an asshole here.”
“Then why are you being one?”
Shit. “Geez man. Chill. I ah…care about Ann. And I—” Derek wasn’t able to finish his speech because the next thing he knew, he felt the swift blow to the side his jaw. Derek went down. Tumbling backwards in his chair.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re my fucking brother!” Quinn shouted at him.
Derek looked up from the floor, s
tunned for a moment. Then realization struck him and he realized what Quinn had thought.
“How could you? Is that why she’s been so distant?” Quinn started pacing.
Derek got up from the floor. “Quinn, let me explain.”
Quinn spun around to face him. “Explain! How the fuck could you?” He then let out a tortured laugh. “I should have known. It was too damn good to be true. Women never enjoyed having sex with me.” He turned to face his brother. “So what, you’re better in bed then?”
Derek stood there dumbfounded. How could they have gone from him coming here to counsel his brother on freaking relationship advice to him thinking he was screwing Ann? “Quinn, listen to me damn it!”
“No you fucking listen! You’re dead to me. Do you hear me? D-E-A-D.” Quinn said nothing more as he stormed out of his office.
What in the fuck just happened? “Quinn, wait!” Derek shouted after him.
Derek got into the parking lot just in time to see Quinn’s truck speeding off into the distance. Holy Hell! What had he done? Worse, what the hell had his brother done? Derek ran to his truck, knowing he had to catch up with Quinn before he did something stupid.
Derek reached into his pocket for his cell phone so that he could call Ann and warn her. He hadn’t even told Ann that he had been planning on talking to his brother. But now he was going to have to warn her that not only had he done what she had explicitly asked him not to, but he was also going to have to explain how he had royally fucked things up for her. Shit! Shit! Shit!
Quinn was speeding down the dirt road. He took one of the turns way too fast but he didn’t care. He loved her. How could she do this to him, to them? He knew she had been distant lately, but he also knew how good things could be between them. Had she been faking her happiness, among other things? Was her happiness only for Derek?
Fucking Derek! He could kill him right now. They were brothers. They knew all too well from their upbringing what sharing someone could do to a family. He almost had to laugh at the similarities of their current situation and that with which they were raised in.
Intimate Persuasions Page 12
