“Don’t you ever fucking touch her,” River growls, using his own weight to pin Kade to the wall. “If you so much as fucking look at her, I will fucking kill you.”
I can hardly think. I’m reduced to a shaking, crying mess on the couch. I open my mouth to speak as River tosses Kade on the floor and makes his way over to me. River bends down touching my face tenderly. I flinch for a moment as I feel my shoulders tremble. “Lola, princess it’s me.” His tone has returned to the soft Daddy tone that I love. I open my mouth to speak, but all I can do is wheeze as more tears well up in my eyes. I can’t think as I reach shakily for one of his hands. “That’s my good girl. I’ve got you, Lola. You’re safe.” I feel tears and snot roll down my lips as I try to force myself to say something. But now all I can think about is being punished again and having to kneel on rice on the floor of the dark room. I feel River scoop me into his arms as he carries me from Kade’s apartment and outside to where his truck is parked. “I'll get your car tomorrow,” he tells me, opening his truck door and tucking me in the passenger seat. “I will say this one time and one time only, Lola. You'll be punished for that.” I look down, pouting, feeling completely fucking stupid. I feel him gingerly take my face into his hands. “But right now, I’m just glad I got there when I did.” He wipes the tears from my cheeks and kisses my forehead.
“I don’t know…what I was thinking…” I finally manage to say as my shaking body slowly starts to relax at his touch.
“Shh…Daddy’s here now,” he tells me softly, “Take a deep breath for me.”
I give him a nod, inhaling and exhaling slowly as I reach for his hands.
“Good girl. One more time for me,” he says as he begins looking over my face and hands.
I obey taking another deep breath and blowing it out slowly.
“That’s Daddy’s good girl.”
I feel him beginning to pull away and panic washes over me for some reason. I clamp onto his hands to hold him in place as I shake my head ferociously from side to side. “Daddy…please…don’t…”
“Baby, it’s alright, you’re safe. Daddy's right here.” He tells me, running his fingers through my hair. “I have to get in the truck.”
I don’t know what’s come over me. Suddenly I feel the need to hold onto him and not let him go. I’m safe with him. He won’t let anything hurt me. “Daddy…” I whimper as more tears fill my eyes.
“I’m right here,” he tells me. “I have to get in the truck. I'm going to lock and shut your door, princess. I want you to take a deep breath and count to ten for me.”
I give him a little nod and do as I'm told. I inhale very slowly and release it as I begin counting to ten silently in my head. River does as he said he would and locks and shuts my door, then he walks to the driver side of the truck where he takes his seat next to me. I reach for his knee, feeling the need to touch him but remember what he’d told me about not touching him when I was being punished. I feel my stomach tie into a tight knot and pull away slowly.
“Breathe, Lola,” he says, reaching for my hand. “Daddy's right here.” His fingertip traces the back of my hand tenderly as goose bumps rise against my arms. “Do you want to explain to Daddy what happened back there? Why did you leave?”
“My mom,” I start, looking at him. “You know she was abusive.” I pause to take a breath. “In my later teens she got awful. Would make me kneel on frozen peas, beat me with wire hangers.” I let out another breath. “I just…it…”
“It was a trigger.” He finishes, touching my face.
I give him a little nod as I nuzzle into his hand. “Will I have to kneel on the rice again?”
“No, no, Daddy won’t make you kneel on rice ever again. That’s done. I’m just taking you back to my place. You’re shaking really bad. I want to get you calmed down.” He tells me softly, rubbing his hands down my arms. “You know that if anything ever happens that you are ever uncomfortable with, you can use your safeword.”
“I…I thought that was just for when we were playing.”
River shakes his head, “No princess, you can use your safeword anytime I push you over a limit. Kneeling on rice was clearly a trigger for you. As your Dom, I should have sensed your uneasiness. I should have caught on.”
I bring a hand up to his arm, running it slowly over his smooth skin, taking a second to trace a nail over one of the lines in his tattoo. I let out a little sigh as I push myself closer to him, wrapping my arms around him.
“Anytime I do anything that makes you uncomfortable in any fashion, please use your safeword,” he says softly, rubbing up and down my back slowly. “It’s my job to take care of you, to make sure you are comfortable. I need and want to know these things.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and give him a little nod. All at once I feel so weak and drained that I want nothing more than to just curl up in his arms and stay here all night. He pulls away slowly and adjusts me in the seat, reaches for my seat belt and clicks it on for me. I sink into the seat as I feel my body beginning to give in and relax, as River puts his own seat belt on and starts his truck.
“Did you mean what you said back there?” I ask softly, looking over at him. “That you'd kill Kade?”
“If he ever puts his hands on you like that again, I'd probably try.” He glances over at me and reaches for my hand. “Do you feel alright?”
I shrug. I guess I don’t know how I feel right now. I’m such a mix of emotion. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to beat Kade to death. I want to beat myself up for even going there. I feel stupid. I put myself in that situation, so I know it’s no one’s fault but my own. I trusted Kade and called him a friend. I take another deep breath as River pulls into his rounded gravel driveway. He comes to a complete stop and yanks the gearshift into park. I slowly reach for my seat belt and unbuckle it. I have zero desire to move and feel like just staying in the truck. I feel River’s hand on my knee as he tells me to wait here. I give him a little nod as he gets out of the truck and walks to my side. I unlock the door, allowing him to open it for me and I look up at him. He pushes the hair from my eyes and lets his fingers graze my cheek. He lifts me into his arms and I immediately loop my arms around his neck.
“That’s a good girl,” he says softly as he kicks his truck door shut and carries me into the house, where he heads straight for his bedroom. He lays me gently on his bed, letting me sink into the fluffy comforter and pillows, he reaches for my ballet flats, removes them, tossing them on the floor. “Lay here, I’m going to grab you a drink.”
I give him a little nod and settle into the comforts of his bed. He returns a minute or two later with a few bottles of water and a Hershey bar. He removes his shoes, climbs into bed with me, and instructs me to sit up. He passes me the bottle of water, “sip slow, I don’t want you to get sick.”
I give him a little nod, taking my first sip as he begins rubbing my back with one hand and working the fun size Hershey bar open with the other. He brings one of the little rectangles to my lips and I stare at it a moment. “Just in case, so your sugar doesn’t drop,” he says.
I accept the reasoning and bite into it, chewing contently.
He runs his fingers through my hair slowly and smiles, “Besides, who doesn’t like chocolate?”
I have another sip of water and sigh. River brings the remaining piece of chocolate up to my mouth. I happily accept, this time just savoring the flavor for a moment and let it melt in my mouth.
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” He asks, looking me over again.
I think for a moment and look down at my body. I’m a little sore on my right shoulder and left wrist. Other than that it seems to be all emotional. “I’m a little sore.”
“Where?” He asks, looking my body up and down for a moment.
I point to my right shoulder, “just right here,” I tell him, “and my left wrist. Maybe from how he had me pinned. I don’t know. I don’t know what he was doing. He just told me I wasn’t leaving to go back
to you.”
River takes my left hand in his and begins checking it over. He bends it a bit and gives it a little squeeze which doesn’t hurt too badly. “There’s a little bruising, but thankfully it’s not broken,” he tells me. “Let me see your shoulder.”
I give him a nod and begin pulling off my top for him. I can already understand why my shoulder is sore. There’s a gigantic bruise starting to form, more than likely from when Kade pushed against it so hard. I let out a sigh and look at River feeling completely defeated, as he traces his fingers tenderly over the bruise. He takes my chin between his fingers, gently guiding my face to look at him. “If he ever lays another hand on you, I will try to kill him. I will beat him until I can’t go on. I will not let anyone put their hands on you like that.”
I give him a little nod as I feel his fingertips slide down from my chin to my chest. “I’m sorry that I left.”
He gives his head a little shake. “You were upset. You’d been reminded of a horrible time in your life. You kneeling on the rice was a trigger.”
I give him a little nod as he lays me back on the bed. “I’m going to check your knees. If anything they may be a little red.”
I nod as he begins unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans. He works me out of them slowly and tosses them to the floor. He runs his hands gently over my knees and I can tell where the pieces of rice had dug into my knees.
“Just a little red, nothing too bad.” He tells me, rubbing my calves. He looks up and smiles. “I’m really glad I got there when I did. If he’d have hurt you worse…”
“He didn’t hurt me that bad, I’m okay.” I tell him.
“You’re not “okay,” you know I hate the word. He did hurt you and you have the bruises to prove it.”
I look down, he's right. Kade lost his fucking mind tonight. I don’t know what he was doing or what his intention was, but he did hurt me. Both mentally and physically. My best friend ended up traumatizing me.
“He was my friend. I’ve called him my best friend for years,” I tell River. “You know, I don’t have many…girlfriends…I clash badly with women, I guess. They love drama and me, I just…”
“You hate drama.”
I give him a slow nod. “I surrounded myself with guys because they don’t worry about what I’m wearing or why my hair looks off on a day. There’s no drama. And if I need to vent, they listen.” I rub at my wrist as River begins massaging my legs. “Kade grew up in a bad home. His mom had been married before. She had a son by him, but I guess he died in a tragic accident. She met his dad, married him, and they had him right away. But, I guess his dad was abusive, made his mom abusive, his half-brother treated him like shit. He just understood. I told him everything about my mom.”
“Lola, you can’t believe everything that you hear.” He tells me, moving his hands up to rub my knee.
“You know I’ve never been dependent on anyone. I’ve always taken care of myself. Kade was someone that I trusted and he listened to me when I needed to vent.” I let out a sigh as River eases the shaky muscles in my legs tenderly, moving both of his hands up and down my calves as he soothes my nerves.
“I think I know where this is really going, Lola.”
I look up at him with wide eyes. “You do?”
He nods. “You’ve always been independent. You’re strong. You’ve taken care of yourself most of your life and it’s the only life that you truly know. Then I step into the picture and we just,” he pauses and lets out a little laugh. “Well, we definitely had a connection. But you were tossed into this lifestyle and you really tried to understand how things work, you had to let me care for you, take orders from me…”
His voice trails and I give him a little nod.
“It’s overwhelming to begin with. An independent woman like yourself being told what she can and can’t do, having expectations from me and being dominated in the bedroom. It’s a lot to take in. Then issues with Kade began. That's stressful on its own, but you had everything hitting you at once.”
I give him another teary nod.
He takes my face in his hands moving closer to me. “Lola, it’s not a bad thing to feel like this. You were just overwhelmed. You're an amazing sub.”
A few tears trickle down my face as I look up for a moment to release a breath.
“Oh, princess, don’t cry,” his thumbs glide over my cheeks wiping away my tears. “You've been a perfect sub for Daddy. You listen so well and you've learned so much. It's a lot to take in.” He pushes my hair from my eyes and smiles. “I was attracted to you the minute that I spun around to see you sopping wet and out of breath in your shop. You’re so beautiful and those bright blue eyes. I wanted you all to myself. You were such a fucking little tease that it drove me out of my mind,” he laughs, wiping at another stray tear.
I laugh softly and sniffle, “I know things happened really fast for us.”
He nods and chuckles softly. “Right on that counter at work. You were so fucking incredible that night. I’d just gotten so tired of women running, that I thought I needed to distance myself from you.” He runs one of his hands from my cheek and down to my neck where I feel his thumb glide down the front of my throat. “I wanted you so bad that I just couldn’t. That night at your apartment, you were so hurt when I told you that it was best that you stay away from me. I wanted to…well, Daddy you, I guess you could say. After I had you again, it killed me to try to walk away and when I told you, you surprised me.”
I feel my cheeks flush.
He smiles. “You weren’t afraid, you were curious. Your reaction was one that I’ve never seen. You're a very self-reliant person and despite that you were so willing to learn.”
“Because I wanted to be with you,” I admit. “I mean you…God, you were fucking amazing.”
He laughs softly, leaning in to press his lips to mine. “I stepped in and started being your Dom right away. I took my natural course of being a Daddy Dom and started tossing information at you. And that was a lot to take in. You were being ordered around from the get go, and you did so amazing.”
“I still don’t understand it all or even why I…” I pause and release a sigh. “Why I like some things so much.”
He lets out another little laugh. “Well, it can be very exhilarating to give your body to someone, to let them do as they please. The anticipation. The excitement of the unknown. To have you submit yourself to me is intoxicating. To listen and see your reactions, to watch you come completely undone and writhe with pleasure. Jesus, I can’t even put it into fucking words.”
“The dark room is…well, I’d always been…vanilla.” I tell him, pursing my lips.
“Because no one had ever brought this side of you out, baby,” he smiles.
“The dark room and you…it’s…indescribable. After I used my safeword and you just…” I let out a little sigh. “You just stopped and started taking care of me.”
He pushes my hair away from my face and takes my face in his hands. “That’s what a good Dom does, baby. You know, it may seem like I have all the control in the dark room, but really it’s all you. You have the right to use your safeword or not even go in the dark room at all.”
“I feel like the dark room has made us…closer. I feel like we share a really strong bond.”
“Why does this fee like there’s a “but” involved?”
I give him a little nod. “Adjusting to things outside of the dark room is overwhelming. You take care of everything…I mean, I know I run the shop, and there, you’re just River, but adjusting to being taken care of is…”
“I know that you've been trying to adjust and Kade, who’s your best friend, actually added some unneeded stress.”
I give him a little nod. “I was starting to worry that this lifestyle wasn't for me, but then you just…you do everything so…and the way you…I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.”
“I think it’s just everything in general right now, princess. You’re turning into an exquisite sub
for Daddy, you truly are. Daddy couldn’t be prouder of you. Kade just…well he put a damper on things. And when Daddy said not to see him outside of work, it was because I knew, that right now, it would be in your best interest. It would prevent bad things from happening.”
I look down, “But I didn’t listen.”
“Kade had you stressed out. He merely hindered your judgment. You've been friends with him for years. You didn’t know what he was capable of.”
“He knows that you’re a Dom,” I say softly.
River gives me a little nod. “I expect that he would. I’m sure people at NYC Ink’d have been talking.”
“It sounds that way,” I tell him, leaning into him.
He wraps his arms around me, pulling my head to his chest as he runs his fingers through my hair. “Lola, it can be overwhelming and I understand that you're learning. You're doing so incredible that I think I forgot that you’re a new sub. So, why don’t I tone it down or if you ever believe that I'm Daddying too much use your safeword. Use your safeword whenever you feel the need. You should never feel cornered or overwhelmed.”
I pull away and look up at him with watery eyes. “You're…” I pause and search for the right words and finally smile. “You're such a good Daddy. You've been an incredible teacher and I feel so connected to you,” I swallow hard as I look up at him and study his face. His bright eyes, neatly trimmed scruff, and perfect smile. “I think I’m falling in love with you.” I gasp, jumping back, startled that the words have been said out loud and not just in my head. I feel my watery eyes become worse as I stare up at him with no idea of what to say now. “River, I…I really…that…” I look down and rub my face. “That wasn’t supposed to…out loud…”
He lifts my chin with his fingers and looks into my eyes.
Skin Deep Page 19
