Merlin approached Rowan. “This is where I must say goodbye.”
“Does it have to be right now?” he asked, in a panicked tone. “We never even had a chance to talk.”
He glared up at the expanding hole. “Every minute I wait will leave you one less with Kalin.” Merlin clasped his hand around his biceps. “I want to give you this gift. I only wish I could do more.”
Rowan put his arms around him. “I don’t know what to say.”
Merlin pulled back. “I want you to know there hasn’t been a second in your life that you were alone. I’ve always been by your side. Through all the challenges and despair, you managed to defy the odds. I am in awe of the leader that you’ve become. I am a proud father.” He made his way over to the mist, pressing his hands into the hazy glow. Looking over his shoulder, he said, “I love you, Son.”
“I love you too, Dad,” Rowan replied, sniffling.
Merlin smiled as he slowly faded away. It only took a few moments before he was fully absorbed. There was a rumble, and Excalibur slid out of the opening and landed at Rowan’s feet. I took a glimpse at the tear. Magic no longer drizzled down from the hole. The crack had been sealed, but the scarred remnants was still visible. What he’d done wouldn’t solve the problem, but he had given us some time.
I glanced at Rowan as he picked up the sword. Dumbfounded was the only word that would explain the look on his face. “Did that just happen? Is he really gone?”
I bit my lip and nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“I wouldn’t speak to him. I didn’t believe him. I pushed him away,” he rambled. “And now he’s gone.”
I threw my arms around him, and we crumpled to the ground together. I held onto him, preparing to stay as long as he needed me to be there. The rest of the world faded away. And neither of us said another word.
There was no easy or right way to say goodbye to her. As I made my way through the portal, I thought about different ways I could tell her I was about to die. Nothing I’d come up with seemed to lessen the blow.
By the time I reached the air court castle, the landscape had been completely restored. The trees had been healed along with the burned grass. Mud piles were gone as well the abandoned weaponry. There was no evidence of a battle anywhere. I stepped inside the ballroom. All of the tables had been repaired, and the blood was removed. The wedding decorations were gone. The entire space had been fully renovated.
Whoever had done this must’ve worked tirelessly throughout the night.
As I was about to leave, my mother surprised me. She stepped out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a clean rag. She hadn’t realized I was here. A lump swelled in my throat. How was I ever going to get through this? “What are you doing down here?” I asked.
She startled. Then she ran over, and threw her arms around me. “I was so worried about you. When the attack started, the guards insisted I go to my room. They wouldn’t let me out.” She took my face in her hands as she seemed to be checking me for injuries. “When it was over, you were gone.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t think to get a message to you.” Everything happened so fast. I hadn’t even thought about it, which made me feel awful. “Rowan was really hurt, and he had to be taken to the fire court to be healed.”
“Is he all right?” she asked, her tone full of concern.
Rowan was falling apart. The father he never knew gave his life for us. And now he had to prepare for my death. But I couldn’t speak of that just yet. Instead, I answered only about his physical health. “Yes, he’s fine now.”
She cringed. “I heard what happened to Ariel. How is Marcus?”
“Pretty much how you’d expect.” There was only one word that came to my mind. “Broken.”
“Her parents are devastated. Ariel had sent them away after the fighting started.” She glanced at the spot where Ariel had died. “They got back here around the same time I did.”
I wasn’t sure how I was going to say it, but now was the time. “Mom, there’s something I have to tell you.”
Her forehead creased. “What is it, sweetheart?”
I tried to simplify what happened as much as possible. There was no need to fill in all the gory details. I told her what I thought she most needed to know. “After we took Rowan to the eternal flame, we decided to go after Valac. We thought he wouldn’t be expecting an attack so soon after Ariel’s death. We were wrong. There was a big fight and a lot of elementals died.”
She held her hand up to her lips. “Oh, no.”
I reached for a chair at a nearby table. “Would you sit down for a minute?”
“No,” she replied, firmly. “Whatever it is, tell me now.”
My chest tightened. “A sacred sword pierced the mist that protects Avalon. Once it’s gone, thousands of elementals will die. But there’s a way I can save them.”
“How?” she asked.
I took in a deep breath, and then slowly let it out as I prepared to say the words that would break her heart. “The blood of the akasha can seal the tear. All of my blood.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “Are you telling me you have to die to save the others?”
Unable to say any more, I nodded.
She pulled me into a tight embrace as the tears trickled down her cheeks. “I can’t let you do that.”
“You don’t have a choice,” I replied, battling the tears that threatened to release. I had to hold it together for her. “I wondered why I was given these powers. Why I was chosen, but now I know. This was my purpose.”
She released me, wiping her nose with the kitchen rag. “We can just leave. We’ll go hide away somewhere in the mortal world. Some place where they’d never find you.”
“I can’t run away.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “The world will end if the balance isn’t brought back to the elements. I have to do this.”
“I don’t care about the elements or anyone else for that matter.” She fell to her knees, sobbing into her hands. “All I care about is you.”
I’d never seen her lose it like this. My heart shattered into pieces as I watched her, knowing I was the cause. If I had any other choice, I would’ve taken it. There was none. My only comfort was knowing I was doing the right thing. Giving my life to save thousands was an easy choice to make. It might take her months, or maybe even years, but I had faith she’d realize that one day.
I got down on my knees and pulled her into a hug. “I swear, if there was another way I’d take it. But there isn’t. I’ve searched the akasha journals, and Rowan found the creator of the mist. He confirmed this way the only way.”
Mom pulled away and her eyes narrowed. “Wait, how long have you known about this?”
I cringed. “I discovered this was a possibility shortly after I gained my akasha powers.”
Her eyebrows raised. “And you decided not to tell me? Why?”
“You were grieving. I thought this would’ve been too much for you to handle.” I lowered my gaze. “I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t have done that, Kalin,” She argued. “I could’ve helped you. Maybe we could’ve found another way together.”
“There is no other way, Mom. We’ve exhausted every option,” I assured her, as I tried to help her off the floor. “I have to do this.”
“I don’t accept that,” She replied, as she rose to her feet with determination in her tone. “I never will. We have to keep trying. There has to be something you haven’t thought of. Maybe we can ask Orion or Britta.”
I shook my head. “Orion and Britta are both aware of the circumstances. There’s nothing either of them can do.”
“I won’t lose my little girl,” She sniffled. “There has to be something I can do.”
This was too much for her to bear. No matter what I said, she wasn’t prepared to accept that this was going to happen. I was overcome with worry for her. What would happen to her once I was gone? How would I guarantee she’d be taken care of? I had an idea. A way to protect her after I was go
ne. “You can make me a promise.”
“What’s that?”
With a firm tone, I replied, “I want you to rule the air court in my place.”
“You can’t be serious.” Her eyes rounded. “I’m not an elemental.”
“Neither am I.” I’d come to Avalon as a halfling. And then, I’d become the akasha. I held her hand. “You’re the bravest, strongest mortal I know. This court will flourish under your rule.”
“The air court won’t need a new ruler because you’re not going anywhere.” She placed her hands on her hips. “I will never accept that.”
I let out an exaggerated sigh.
There was no point in going back and forth with her. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”
“What?” She shrieked. “You can’t go now.”
“I have to meet with the council so that I can name you as my successor.” Her ascension would be my final decree as queen of this court. The council had no choice in the matter. Every one of them would die within hours if I didn’t sacrifice myself.
“So that’s it? This is where I’m supposed to say goodbye?” She waved her hands wildly. “Is that what’s happening here?”
Tears ran down my cheeks. “I don’t know what else I can say.”
Mom didn’t say another word and she turned and walked away. I didn’t chase after her. This wasn’t the way I wanted to spend my last moments with her. I’d expected too much from her. I should’ve known she wasn’t capable of saying goodbye. What mother could? She needed more time to accept what was happening.
But time was the one thing I didn’t have.
Chapter Twenty-One
Marcus
I wanted to end the agony.
We’d gone into this war with the best of intentions. We wanted to bring balance back to the elements and save lives. But all we’d managed to do was bring pain and death to the ones we loved the most. I didn’t want to live in a world without Ariel. She was everything to me. And now, she was gone. Without her, I’d completely lost my will to live. She’d made the ultimate sacrifice, giving her life to save Kalin.
But it was all for nothing.
I was so desperate to kill Valac that I made a critical mistake. When I dug my teeth into his wrist and shook him with all my strength, Excalibur flew into the air. The sword cut the mist, and now Kalin’s life would end. She would die because of my error. My rash decision. Rowan saw the whole thing. Once he got past the initial shock, he would realize that this was all my fault. I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to end my life.
Death was what I deserved.
Hearing footsteps behind me, I swirled around. It was Selene. She must’ve tracked me all the way back here. No matter. “I don’t need you to follow me around. I’m fine.” No, I wasn’t fine. I was out of my mind. Grief and regret flowed through me in waves, making it hard to breathe. “Don’t worry about me.”
She stayed on my tail as I moved through the winding obsidian walkways, totally ignoring what I’d said. I let out an aggravated growl, trying to scare her off. She wasn’t fazed. Didn’t even flinch. I tried to increase my pace. Each time, she caught up. When I reached my bedroom, I closed the door behind me. The message was loud and clear.
I glanced down at my clothing and sighed. Blood was everywhere. Before I transformed, I had time to remove my clothes. But I’d put them back on after the battle and now the shirt and pants were ruined. I slipped them off, throwing both pieces in a nearby wastebasket. I headed into the bathroom and bent over the sink. Using a liquid cleanser, I scrubbed soap on my hands and face.
“I’m not leaving you alone,” she yelled from the hallway. “I’ll stay out here all day if I have to.”
I dried my face with a hand towel. This girl was stubborn. It was a family trait. “You’re just as annoying as Rowan,” I shouted.
I heard her laugh. “Then you know I’m not going anywhere.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Let me in already,” she pleaded. “I feel ridiculous talking to you like this.”
There was no getting rid of her. I changed into a plain white shirt and jeans, then strode to the door and opened it. “What do you want?”
Her eyes rounded. “I came to support my friend.”
I crossed my arms. “What if your friend just wants to be alone?”
Ignoring my question, she replied, “I want to talk about what you said back there.”
I tried to shut the door, but she held it open. “There’s nothing left to say.”
“Yes, there is.” She pushed her way inside my room. “Valac is responsible for the mist getting cut. Not you.”
That wasn’t true. It was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention or even considering that the sword might fly out of his hand. I was too caught up in my own pain. It was like I could think of nothing else but revenge. I turned away from her. “You didn’t see what happened.”
“It doesn’t matter what happened.” She tried to comfort me, putting her palm on my shoulder blade. “You wouldn’t have been there in the first place had it not been for my brother. He’s to blame for it all.”
As I replayed the events that led up to our failed ambush, I placed my hands over my face. “We were there because of me. I convinced Rowan to go after Valac. I was so angry and miserable I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“You did what you thought was right,” she tried to assure me in a soft tone. “No one blames you for what happened.”
The image of Rowan—holding Kalin as she cried—flashed in my mind. “Maybe not now, but someday he will. He’ll be immersed in the pain of Kalin’s loss and realize it was his best friend who took away the love of his life.”
“You’re wrong.” She shifted around, and lowered my hands. “Rowan knows who you are. He’d never believe that.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know him the way I do.”
She cupped my shoulders, and waited until I met her eyes before she spoke. “I know that he needs you right now. He’s about to lose someone he loves and the one person who can understand that pain won’t be there.”
I lowered my gaze to the floor. “I can’t face him right now.”
“He needs you, Marcus,” she repeated in a persistent tone with her hands on her hips. “Now more than ever. So you have to decide if you’re going to stay here and feel sorry for yourself or be there for your best friend.”
I chuckled. “You’re a lot tougher than you let on.”
She grinned as she punched me in the arm. “Only when I need to smack some sense into my friends.”
Selene was right. After Prisma forced me to tear off Rowan’s wings, I couldn’t deal with what had happened. I’d left him a note and asked that he not try to find me. During my absence, he’d gotten hurt and nearly died. When I returned, I had sworn to him that I’d never leave his side again. I won’t go back on my promise. I refused to abandon him again. Not when his circumstances were the most dire.
I let out an exaggerated sigh.
“I’ll go back, but I want to wait a while.” I thought back to Ariel’s final moments, and how Kalin had ordered her knights to surround us so we weren’t disturbed. I owed her the same in return. “They need some time alone. Trust me, it’s for the best.”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “What should we do in the meantime?”
My stomach growled so loud, she laughed. “I think I’ve got an idea.”
The light illuminated the mess hall when we entered it. It was surprisingly empty. On any other day, hounds were here in droves. But I had already put the pack on high alert. Most of them were on guard, and the ones that weren’t took their families to safety. Hounds were strong at any age, but anyone unable to fight had to leave. This was only temporary. Once Valac was found and killed, I’d have them all return. It was strange being here when there was no noise.
“Looks like we’re on our own.” I scratched my stubble. “I don’t suppose you know how to cook.”
“Come on.” She grabbed my hand, and led me towa
rd the kitchen.
I observed the way she searched through cabinets. This was only the second time she’d been here but she moved around like she knew where everything was. I sat on a stool in front of the large chopping block while she sliced several pieces of fruit. When she was done, she set the plate in front of me with utensils and a napkin. I gobbled everything up within minutes. While I ate, she put together a variety of breads and cheeses. The assortment of smells made my stomach rumble. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. Everything happened so fast after the wedding.
It was a daze.
When she brought the final plate over, she sat on the stool next to me. I watched while she placed a napkin in her lap, then cut her bread into bite-sized pieces. She held her utensils delicately, and her movements seemed rehearsed. She’d obviously had some formal etiquette lessons. It was the opposite for the hounds. Table manners weren’t part of our training. We were loud and ate mostly with our hands. And it wasn’t uncommon to see several of us with food all over our faces.
“Are you feeling any better? I mean, since we talked?” she asked, right before she took her first bite.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged, swallowing a mouth full of bread. I didn’t know what to say. The love of my life was gone, and every dream I had for my life went with her. Now I was alone in this world. I had no direction. “It still hurts.”
She pushed the food around her plate. “You know you can talk to me about Ariel, right?”
I had no words. The only thing I felt was the overwhelming emptiness of her loss. “I’m good for now.”
“Well, I’m here.” She glanced over at me, then back to her plate. “If there’s ever anything you want to say.”
I glanced down at her plate. “Why aren’t you eating?”
“I am.” She put another small bite of bread in her mouth.
“You barely touched anything on your plate,” I noted. “You’ve got to be hungry.”
“We were always taught to take our time,” she replied, smearing soft cheese on a chunk of crust.
Eternal Sacrifice (Mortal Enchantment Book 4) Page 15
