“The snow will continue into the night and the morning,” the weatherman said in a bland voice. “Thousands are currently without power, and crews are working into the night to restore electricity. That being said, visibility is so poor that I imagine a lot of you won’t have any power for some time yet. Stay warm, folks.”
Matt switched off the radio. Holly snuggled against him, but he soon felt her shivering again. He refused to let her get cold like that.
“Come on, let’s go upstairs to my room,” he said. When she just froze, he blushed. “Not for that. I mean, because it’ll be warmer upstairs, and we can wrap up in the blankets on a bed instead of the couch.”
“Are you sure?” Holly sounded dubious.
“Very. Arya, Sansa, come on. Let’s take all of these blankets upstairs, and we’ll make a cocoon out of them. We can also stuff the cracks in the windows so we don’t lose all of the residual heat. I also have plenty of socks and jackets, too.”
Holly followed him upstairs, carrying blankets, the dogs padding behind them. Although Arya and Sansa were never allowed on the bed, Matt let them get up there with them since they were basically large heaters, and he hated to think of the dogs shivering in the cold on the floor. He stuffed the cracks in the windows, shut the bedroom door, and wrapped himself up in blankets. Holly put on layers of socks and mittens and a hat, and he couldn’t help but smile at her when she got on the bed with him.
He held his arms out to her. This time, she didn’t hesitate. She burrowed against him, sighing contentedly.
“How are you so warm?” Her breath fanned against his throat.
“I think I run hotter than most people. Or it’s just all of my muscles, you know.”
She laughed, and his body heated at the sound. “Something like that, I’m sure.”
He was all too aware of her against him, her body sweet and soft, and he cursed himself when his body reacted. He just hoped that with all of the blankets and clothes between them that she was unaware of the hardness against her. The last thing she needed was some creep poking her in the stomach with his erection when they were in a life or death situation.
Okay, it maybe wasn’t life or death, all things considered, but still. He’d already gone too far in touching her; making her aware how much he wanted her? That was something else entirely.
She breathed against his throat, her eyelashes fluttering. Within minutes, she fell asleep, and he thanked God for it. May she sleep the night away, he thought. May she wake up, and the power is back on, and then I can get her car out and on her way.
Arya snored behind him, while Sansa was lying against Holly’s back. All in all, the two humans and two canines were toasty warm. Feeling exhaustion swamp his limbs, it wasn’t long before Matt fell asleep, too.
It was still dark when Matt awoke to a noise that he first thought was one of the dogs fretting to get out. He opened his eyes, trying to make anything out in the gloom, when he realized that it wasn’t one of the dogs. It was Holly. She whimpered and moaned, pushing against his chest, and she kept saying something.
“Please don’t,” she pleaded, pushing and pushing. “Please. Sam, you can’t. Please!”
Matt froze. Did he wake her, or let the dream play out? He didn’t want to startle her. But when she started trying to hit him, he didn’t have much of a choice.
He shook her. “Holly! Holly, wake up! It’s a dream, sweetheart.” He didn’t even realize the endearment had fallen from his lips, but it felt right for some reason. “Holly, wake up. Wake up.”
She moaned. He almost thought she’d fallen back asleep, but her lashes fluttered and then she looked up at him like he was a stranger. He couldn’t make out her expression in the dark, so he switched on the flashlight.
They both blinked at the bright light. Finally, he was able to see her face, and he realized with a start that she’d been crying.
“Oh Holly,” he breathed. He brushed a tear from her cheek. “What were you dreaming?”
She shuddered; he pulled her close. Arya snuffled, her snout almost in his armpit.
“It was nothing. Sometimes I have weird dreams.” But her voice was shaky.
“Tell me what happened. Was it about your ex? Sam?”
She shook her head.
“You said his name,” he said gently. “You kept saying please and no, too.”
She seemed to deflate in his arms, like she didn’t have the energy even to speak now.
“I keep having dreams,” she finally whispered into the gloom. “About when Sam attacked me. I thought by now I’d be over it, but it’s like every time I close my eyes, he’s there. Sometimes I get away, but other times, I don’t.”
He rubbed her back in soothing circles, rage filling him. If he could get his hands on this Sam character, he would. He’d punch him so hard he’d see stars, and then he’d punch him again for good measure. How could someone treat someone as lovely and caring as Holly so badly? He’d seen enough domestic violence cases as a police officer to know there was no rhyme or reason to them, besides men wanting to hurt women and not let them get away.
He felt her body shudder, and she cried against his shoulder. He let her, not knowing what else to do. Rubbing her back, saying soothing things into her hair, he didn’t know what else to do. But it seemed to help calm her down after some time.
She moved so she could wipe her face. “God, I’m sorry,” she said. “Here I am, making you take me to your house, feeding me, and then I end up crying like a baby. You must think I’m insane.”
“Not insane. Just scared. And sad.”
She bit her lip before letting out a breath. “I’m so tired of being scared,” she admitted. “So tired, Matt. What if he finds me? He’ll kill me. I know he will. What if I can never get away from him?”
He shushed her, but he didn’t tell her she shouldn’t be afraid. He knew the statistics; he’d seen the aftermath more than once. Not in Heron’s Landing, but when he’d first started working as a cop. He’d go out to one place in particular, see the bruises on that woman’s face, but her husband had somehow managed to avoid jail time. And when she’d tried to leave… He forced the memories away. This time, he’d keep this woman in his arms safe from harm.
Holly sighed. Matt kissed her forehead, even though he knew he shouldn’t. But it wasn’t a sexual kiss, but one of comfort. A promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.
When she tipped her head back, her eyes dark, he didn’t stop her when she touched his face. When she brushed fingertips across his eyebrows, down his face, tracing the line of his jaw. She smiled a little at the feeling of his stubble. He barely breathed when her thumb brushed his lower lip. And when she reached up and pressed her mouth against his, he didn’t tell her that this wasn’t a good idea. He didn’t say anything at all.
Instead, he wrapped her in his arms, and he kissed her with everything he had, because it was the only response that made sense. She made sense. He slanted his mouth over hers, tasting her sweetness, and when she moaned? His heart thrilled.
He kissed her until his mind emptied. Gentle, teasing kisses, kisses that told her everything he’d wanted to say the moment he’d first seen her. Kisses that even he didn’t fully comprehend. Kisses that made him see stars behind his eyelids.
He felt fingers in his hair, and he laughed a little when Holly pulled off the ski cap he’d put over his hair. What did he need all of these clothes and blankets for anyway? He was an inferno. He was burning up. It was like a fever underneath his skin, but it was a fever solely for this woman in his arms.
Holly touched her tongue to his, and it was like flame to kindling. He rolled her over, kissing her all the while, their bodies aligned. His erection pressed against her thigh, and she whispered his name as they kissed harder and harder. He wouldn’t be surprised if steam was rising from their bodies. Their tongues dancing together, he touched her face, her neck, wishing he could get her out of all of these damn clothes—
And then he heard a
whir and suddenly, the house came alive. The power turned back on, the heat practically bursting through the vents. Arya and Sansa barked, running from the bed, and the light flooding the room caused Matt to realize what they were doing. That he was on top of Holly, that they’d been kissing, and that he was the biggest jackass this side of the Mississippi.
Holly’s face seemed to echo his own horror, and he sat up so quickly that he felt dizzy. But they were still entangled in all of those damn blankets, and he cursed when he couldn’t free himself. Holly finally stumbled from the bed, her hair a mess, and then she ran from the room like the hounds of hell were at her heels.
Matt collapsed back into the bed. Eventually, Arya and Sansa came back, licking his dangling fingers. He patted them on the head, muttering, “I’m such an idiot,” to no one in particular.
Chapter 4
Holly shut the door to the guest bedroom and promptly collapsed in front of said door, her heart pounding so hard she felt dizzy. She still had one of the blankets wrapped around her shoulders, and she shrugged it off and tossed it into a corner somewhere. The heat blazed through the house now that the power had come back on; it was so loud that Holly could almost imagine she was alone.
Of course, she wasn’t alone—not even slightly. She thought about Matt: about his kisses, and touches, and how he smelled so good. Why did he have to smell so good? It wasn’t fair. She wished an old man with two teeth and who smelled like fish had picked her up out of that stupid ditch. Then she wouldn’t be sitting here, her hand over her heart, wanting to return to Matt’s room and kiss him again.
I can’t let this happen, she told herself. Matt didn’t need to get caught up in her drama, and besides, she had terrible judgment in men. When she’d first met Sam, she’d thought he was the sun, the moon, and the stars. She’d loved him—and trusted him—within a day of meeting him. And look how that had turned out. Running for her life from the very man she’d been convinced was her soulmate.
So, no, she couldn’t very well throw herself at the next available man, even if he was delicious, and kind, and kissed like a god. Holly groaned, slumping to the floor. She relived those kisses, over and over again, until she wanted to scratch out her very brain. If only he had been a terrible kisser! All slobbery and with bad breath.
It would be her luck that a man like Matt would be the one to save her, wouldn’t it?
She lay on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. Dawn was finally approaching, and rays of light shown through the windows as the sun rose. She glanced out the window. The snow was slowing down, and soon, Matt would take her back to her car, and she’d get on her way. To where, she wasn’t really sure. Kansas City had been a vague destination, one that had seemed far, far away from Sam and Louisiana.
She rubbed her eyes. She wanted to stay here, with Matt, but how could she? What if Sam showed up at his doorstep? Or what if her infamous bad judgment revealed that Matt wasn’t as great a guy as she’d thought?
Okay, yes, he was a cop. And he’d helped her without even asking for anything, and he’d stopped touching her when she’d freaked out. And he hadn’t run after her when she’d run out of his bedroom, yelling at her that she was a tease. He hadn’t done anything that would make her think he was like Sam.
And yet…
Holly sighed. Her heart slowed down, until she felt like she could breathe again, but her body tingled despite her best efforts. She pressed a finger against her lip; she closed her eyes.
She’d give herself five minutes: five minutes to relive Matt’s kisses and touch. Going to her bag, she pulled out her phone and set the timer. Then she got onto the guest bed, lay down, and remembered. She remembered his smell, and how he said her name in that husky voice of his, and how he’d tempted her with kisses that had been seduction itself. How his weight had felt on top of her; how he’d touched her—so gently, almost reverently. How he’d tasted of beer and what she’d come to recognize as Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt.
The timer sounded. She picked up her phone, silencing it, before closing her eyes and wishing she knew what to do next.
The snow had stopped completely by morning. Holly ventured downstairs early in the morning, but when Matt had entered the kitchen, she’d turned coward and scampered back to her room.
Now, though, she was starving, and she needed coffee rather desperately. Going back downstairs, she didn’t see Matt at all, until she rounded the corner and saw that he was digging out his driveway. She watched him for a moment, his arms and shoulders strong, his nose red from the cold. He’d already made a serious dent in the snow, although she couldn’t imagine he’d be able to clear his entire driveway—a seemingly endless driveway that finally emptied onto the country road west of it—but then again, he was a determined man. She had a feeling he could manage just about anything if he set his mind to it.
Arya came up then and nosed at her hand, the coldness of the dog’s nose startling her. She laughed, and Arya barked as Sansa joined her.
“Come on, you two. Let’s get me some food before I end up doing something really stupid.”
Holly made herself some scrambled eggs with a steaming cup of coffee. She listened to the house creak, the dogs woofing softly at her feet, and she could hear Matt shoveling snow as she ate. She didn’t know what she was going to say when he came inside. Sorry, we shouldn’t have kissed? Sorry, I’m an idiot? Sorry, you’re a good guy but I’m a mess?
She reached down and gave the dogs a bite of egg, which they received with the expected doggy enthusiasm. “What the hell am I doing?” she asked them. They just wagged their tails in unison.
Matt finally came back inside before lunchtime, sweaty and smelling like a man who’d gotten in a good workout. Holly rather loved that smell, and her heart thrilled when he walked past her in the kitchen. His dark hair was mussed, his shoulders rippling beneath his shirt that had been under his thick coat. He filled a glass of water without saying anything to her, drinking one glass and then another in quick gulps.
She got down from her stool, about to let him be alone, but his voice stopped her.
“We better go get your car.”
She turned to look at him. He didn’t seem particularly fazed, and for some reason, that irritated her. Shouldn’t he feel as awkward as she after what had happened? Or did he just not care? She gripped her mug of coffee harder.
“Do you think that’s a good idea? Can we even get out of here?” She raised an eyebrow.
“I have four-wheel drive, and they’ll have plowed the road. It’ll be snow-packed, but not impassable. Are you okay driving, though?”
She wanted to tell him the last thing she wanted to do was drive on snow-packed country roads, but he didn’t seem particularly inclined to have her stay as a guest. Her shoulders slumped. She couldn’t really blame him. Here she was, telling him to leave her alone one moment, and the next, she was practically throwing herself at him. Would she never learn?
“I’ll go get my stuff.”
She tossed her things into her bag and met him outside. When he handed her his coat, she balked.
“It’s an old one,” he explained over her protestations. “Take it. I’m not going to let you go off without a coat, Holly.”
The drive to her car was slow, Matt taking his time, and Holly inhaled his scent with every breath. She wished she could say something to break the tension, but what could she do? But when she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, she saw that he was frowning, and her initial frustration with him melted away like so much snow against the hot car.
“I’m sorry,” she said, not looking at him. “I’ve given you so much trouble. But I appreciate everything you’ve done, for what it’s worth.”
He took a deep breath, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “You don’t have to apologize. It was my fault as much as yours.”
She opened her mouth to deny that, but then she thought better of it. She chewed her lip, wishing she could find the right words to explain…ever
ything.
“When I first met Sam, I thought he was amazing,” she said softly. She could see Matt stiffen, but he didn’t tell her to stop talking, either. “He was like a whirlwind, you know? All emotion and energy. That night, I had told him that I’d never had a pet growing up, and he thought that was a great tragedy. I laughed at his antics. But the next morning, he showed up at my door with a tiny kitten with a ribbon wrapped around its neck.” Holly sighed at the memory. “I had no idea how to take care of a kitten, and I didn’t have the money for it, either. But the gesture was so sweet that I knew right then and there that I’d fallen in love with him.”
Matt was still tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “Where’s the cat now?”
Holly looked out the window at the snow-covered land. “After I moved in with Sam, he constantly complained about the cat. He hated it. It got fur all over his stuff, and it howled at night, and he told me that if I didn’t get rid of it, he would.” She wiped her eyes at the memory. “So I had to take it to a shelter, because Sam didn’t want it anymore.”
“That’s a shitty thing to make someone do.”
“Yes, it was. But I’m telling you this because I don’t have good judgment. I think a person is good, and safe, and kind, but they always turn out to be something else as time passes. No matter how hard I look, I somehow end up being wrong.” Her eyes watered; she told herself it was from the brightness of the sun against the white snow. “I’m just too screwed up,” she finally said into the quiet.
Matt was silent. She didn’t know if he understood her, or if he thought she was being ridiculous, or if he didn’t care. She wanted him to say something, though. What was he thinking? Did he regret what had happened this morning?
“The problem with your story,” he said quietly, “is that you’re blaming yourself for other people’s actions. Judgment is one thing, but expecting others to act decently doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.”
She looked at him now, memorizing the lines of his face. His dear, handsome face. He turned so their gazes met.
Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe: A Small Town Holiday Novella Collection Page 9
