Still shaking as I come down from my high, I aim the showerhead at the wall, rinsing away the evidence of my forbidden fantasy. I quickly shower, as if washing away my sinful thoughts and step out, wrapping a towel around my waist. I’m ashamed of what I just did, yet too tired to give it much more thought. I just hope I can get some sleep now.
Chapter Eight
Darcy
I walk through the doors of the classroom, my eye catching his. I smile as I sink into my seat. Did he think about me last night? I smother a grin, knowing I thought about him. I imagined him undressing me first, then his muscular hands roaming all over my bare skin while his mouth explored my body.
I clench my thighs together, getting excited just thinking about it. I’m trying to force myself to focus on something else when Cindy plunks herself down into the seat next to me, chattering away about her date the night before. At least that’s doing the trick as any desire I felt is slowly dissipating. I turn to her and smile. I really need to be nicer to her since she’s going out of her way to be friendly to me.
“How are you doing with classes? Catching up with the work?” she asks. “If you need any of my notes, just ask.”
“Thanks, but I think I’m pretty much caught up,” I smile.
I’m lucky in that my last school was slightly ahead in the curriculum than here, so if anything, it feels like I’m waiting for them to catch up to me. But then again, maybe I’m not lucky? Maybe if I had more work to focus on, I’d spend less of my time daydreaming about my teacher.
The girl from my altercation with Jack yesterday walks in, and when she spots me, she narrows her eyes. I glare back at her, refusing to let her get to me. All I want to do is coast through the semester, invisible to everyone but Lennon. The last thing I want is to get caught up in whatever this chick has going on with Jack. If he was trying to hit me up, maybe she should take the hint and move on from him.
Out of nowhere, Cindy suddenly giggles. I turn to her, amused, as she nods toward Lennon, her eyes sparkling. “I can’t tell you how good it is to finally have a hot teacher,” she whispers. “I wonder if he has a girlfriend?”
I feel a pang of jealousy, and it takes me by surprise. Hearing Cindy talk about how cute he is makes me realize that every girl in the class probably has her eye on him, too. Do I think I’m the only one here who touched herself last night, thinking about him? Half the class probably did the same thing. How could they not? Everything about him is perfect. It’s ridiculous, but I hate the thought of other girls wanting him, even when I know he’d never go there with any of them. But I never thought Tyler could be capable of something so bad, either. That’s the thing—how well do you ever really know someone?
“He’s pretty cute,” I mumble, realizing I haven’t answered her.
As I struggle to think of what else to say, Lennon calls for the class’ attention, saving me from the conversation with Cindy that I didn’t really want to have. I didn’t want to talk about how hot he is, or how fun it would be to kiss him, because all thinking about that would do is make me want him even more—if that’s even possible.
Sitting through his class is torture. All I can focus on is the smell of his aftershave as he walks past my desk, and the way he glances at me when he thinks I’m not looking. But I’m always looking. It’s ridiculous, but I can’t turn away. Thank God I’m ahead in English, otherwise I’d be at risk of failing through lack of concentration.
He dismisses the class when the bell sounds, but I hang around, taking my time to pack my things together. I tell Cindy I need to discuss something with him about my old syllabus. She buys it and tells me to call her so she can finish the story about her date. I wait until she’s safely out of the room before I wander over to his desk. I smile and sit down on the edge of it, pretending I don’t notice him tense in my presence. I wonder if he can hear my heart pounding? I glance around to make sure we’re alone.
“Can I help you, Darcy?” he asks, purposely not looking up at me.
“I’m just struggling a little bit with changing over from my old syllabus to this one,” I lie. “I thought maybe if you run over what I should be focusing on it might help... if that’s not too much trouble?”
His face softens, and he finally meets my eyes with his. “Sure, what are you struggling with the most?”
You. Being so close to you. Wanting you. All things I can’t say, of course.
“Um, mainly the readings,” I mumble. “I’m not sure which one I should read first, and which ones I can expect to be on the final exam.” Total bullshit, because I’ve read them all already—several times, in fact. “Sorry, I’m just all over the place with it all.”
“Don’t apologize,” he reassures me. “Regardless of what happened between us, I’m here to help you as much as you need me to, okay? Never feel like you can’t approach me, Darcy. I’m your teacher, first and foremost.”
That’s not what I wanted to hear. I don’t want him to think of me as his student. I want him to look at me and see the woman he clicked with that night at the wedding, but I’m at a loss of how to make him do that, short of getting on my knees and taking him in my mouth again.
He shuffles closer to me and I swallow, my throat dry. I lose all hope of concentrating on what he’s saying and instead, I focus on him. The way his hair falls over his eyes, and the way his forehead scrunches up when he’s thinking seriously about something. My heart races as I watch his lips move and the overwhelming urge to kiss him surges through me.
Before I know what I’m doing, I lean forward and press my lips against his. He jumps, like he’s in shock, but his mouth doesn’t leave mine. Just when I’m sure he’s about to pull away, he’s kissing me back with just as much intensity as I’m putting in.
His hand caresses my neck, stroking my skin. I jump. His touch is intoxicating. I breathe in, doing everything I can to memorize this moment. The way he smells, his taste, the feeling of his soft lips against mine, just in case I never get to experience it again.
Then, just like that, the moment passes and he pulls away, disappointment clouding his eyes. I’m sure it’s not directed at me, though. He seems disappointed in himself. He glances toward the open classroom door and curses. I flush, because it was stupid of me to do that here, of all places. All it would’ve taken is one person to see us, and his career would be over. I don’t care about myself. What do I have to lose? But him… I know how hard he’s worked to get here, and I don’t want to be the reason he’d lose all that.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble. I feel my face heat up as I back away from his desk. I’m embarrassed I put him in that situation, but I’m more ashamed that, given the chance, I’d probably do it again. I grab my backpack and leave the room as quickly as my legs will carry me.
Outside, I fall onto the grass, a mixture of exhilaration and panic. I just made this whole thing worse, but in some strange way it was worth it. I laugh at how selfish that sounds, but I’m so damn confused about how I feel. Five minutes ago, I was worried about jeopardizing his career. Now, here I am, ecstatic that he’s still attracted to me.
The thing I focus on most is the fact that he kissed me back. He didn’t push me away, and that means he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I didn’t imagine a connection—it was there, and it’s still there now, even after the truth came out.
Chapter Nine
Lennon
The rest of the week passes in a blur. I haven’t spoken to Darcy since she kissed me. She hasn’t tried to contact me out of school, and at school, I’ve purposely ignored her since I’m terrified that next time I won’t be able to stop myself. I kissed her, in my classroom of all places, with the door wide open. Anyone could’ve walked past and seen us.
The worst thing was, halfway through that kiss, I glanced over and saw that the door was open, but I didn’t care. Kissing her was more important than the fear of getting caught being intimate with a student. When I was with her in that moment, my lips against hers, nothing else mattere
d. I can’t control myself around her, and I think that incident proved it.
***
It’s late Wednesday afternoon, and after staying back to grade some papers, I finally decide it’s time to leave. I tidy up my desk and walk outside. I glance up at the gray clouds that threaten to pour rain down on me and hurry over to the parking lot. As my car comes into view, I see her and my heart stops.
She’s leaning against the door in her short denim skirt, her hands behind her back. Her dark hair is tied back in a loose ponytail, with a few stray locks framing her face. Her blue eyes study me as I get closer, but I look away. I pretend not to notice the way her sweater hugs the curves of her breasts, but it’s hopeless. My body reacts whenever I’m around her, whether I want it to or not.
“Darcy,” I mumble, slipping my key into the lock. “Can I help you with something?” My voice doesn’t even sound like my own. It’s churned up, full of emotion, and doing nothing to hide the fact that I can’t think straight whenever I see her.
“Not really. I just wanted to apologize for the other day. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that, especially here—”
“You’re right,” I cut in. My voice is calm and quiet since she shouldn’t be blaming herself. I’m the one in the position of authority here in school. “You shouldn’t have kissed me, but that’s my fault. I shouldn’t have kissed you back.”
“Why did you then?” she asks. Her voice is soft, barely above a whisper.
My heart pounds as I think about her question. Why did I kiss her back? Was it because I’ve been dreaming about it since the night of the wedding—and not even finding out she was in my class dulled the aching I’ve had to be with her? Or maybe she’s all I’ve thought about since we met? Kissing her was like my every fantasy coming true.
“Because… look, it doesn’t matter why,” I say, shaking my head. “Whether I like you or not is beside the point. The fact is, I’m your teacher and we can’t be doing this.”
“So, you admit that you do like me, then?” she asks. Something sparks in her eyes and I’m instantly worried. It’s that same look of determination I saw when she wanted to take the Porsche for a spin.
I don’t answer. Instead, I yank open the door but before I can even process what’s happening, she’s already in the passenger seat, clicking in her seat belt.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I protest, half-heartedly.
“Drive,” she orders me. “If you don’t, I’ll kiss you again, right here in the parking lot.”
My heart races. I trust her enough to believe she’s telling the truth. Clicking in my seatbelt, I turn the ignition, shift the car into gear, then drive out of the school grounds, hoping to God no one sees us leaving together.
“Where do want me to go?” I ask nervously.
“Somewhere you’ll admit you have feelings for me?” she suggests.
I laugh and shake my head. Why does she have to be so stubborn? This isn’t a game. I could lose everything by being with her. Sighing, I rake my hand through my hair and glance at her.
“I did admit that, Darcy. I’m not hiding the fact that I’m attracted to you. I’m just being realistic. I’m being an adult.” I place emphasis on the last word, and she narrows her eyes at me.
“Or are you avoiding the real issue, being that you’re scared of getting hurt again?” she asks.
“I’m not scared of getting hurt. I’m scared of hurting you,” I murmur. “God, you really are stubborn, aren’t you?” I laugh.
“I’ve been called worse.” She thinks for a second, before glancing at me. “Take me back to your place.” I give her a look, and she rolls her eyes. “Jesus, I just mean that at least we won’t be interrupted there. We need to sort this out once and for all, right? Before things get out of control?”
“This isn’t out of control?” I laugh. She narrows her eyes, shooting me a look, and I sigh. “Fine. My place it is.”
I walk inside my apartment with her behind me, cursing myself for agreeing to bring her back here. I have no idea what I’m doing, and the only thing I do know for sure is being alone with her anywhere is a bad idea.
There’s only one possible explanation for doing something so risky. I’m thinking with my dick. I’m hoping something happens between us. I mean, it’s not like we’re really going to sit down and talk. We could’ve done that by my car at the school. We haven’t been able to communicate and push past our attraction in the past, so why would now be any different? I shake my head, annoyed at myself.
“You think me coming here is a bad idea, don’t you?” she guesses.
“I know it’s a bad idea,” I correct. “I know exactly how this is going to go.”
“Then why did you agree to it?”
I don’t answer, because I don’t like the truth. She steps closer and takes my hand in hers. I breathe in sharply, entwining my fingers in hers. I summon all my energy to push her away, but it’s pointless. All I’m doing is inching closer to her.
“Lennon?” she persists. “Why bring me here if you know how this is going to go? If you’re so insistent on not doing this, why risk it? Especially since you’re so sure—”
“Because I want you,” I cut in, my voice thick with emotion. “And right now, I don’t care about my job, or about you being my student. All I want is to be able to kiss the woman I’m insanely attracted to.”
What I really want is to go back to that night at the wedding, before all this got so difficult. Back then, she was just a way of getting over Stacy. I thought I’d flirt with her for a few hours and give myself a break from thinking about the chick who broke my heart. I let out a bitter laugh. All I’ve done is replace one disaster with another.
“Insanely attracted to?” she repeats, her lips inching closer to mine. I swallow, because I can’t handle her being this close to me without touching her. “If you want me, then have me. Who the fuck cares, Lennon? I sure don’t. Though, if it makes you feel better, I’ll leave. School, I mean. I’ll un-enroll and go somewhere else.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m capable of something like this,” I growl.
“Something like what?” she laughs. “For God’s sake, it’s not like I’m fourteen and I let you seduce me in exchange for upping my grades.”
She throws up her hands, exasperated, and then collapses on the couch. A laugh escapes from her lips, but I can see the tears threatening to fall. I sit down beside her and rest my hand on her thigh. The feel of her creamy, soft skin against my own just makes things worse.
How do I make her understand that my only reservation about not being with her is not wanting to feel like I’m failing my first real test as an adult? I spent six years chasing my dream of becoming a qualified teacher, and now I’m risking it all by being with her.
“Lennon, I’m eighteen. I’m as much an adult as you are. This is no different than a workplace romance. I’m not a kid, and you do not have some moral responsibility to protect me.”
I don’t reply. She places her hand on mine and inches my fingers up her thigh, sliding it underneath her skirt. My heart races, and my throat tightens. I’m struggling to breathe, let alone think straight. I want nothing more than to slide my fingers right up to her pussy and feel how wet she is.
“I thought skirts weren’t your thing,” I mumble.
“They aren’t,” she replies, her lips twitching into a grin. “But someone told me that I look good in them.”
“That better have been me,” I growl, shooting her a look. I’ve seen the way some of the senior boys have been sniffing around her, and I didn’t like it.
“What do you think?” she says with a smirk.
She takes my hand and places it on her neck. I follow her lead, caressing her face. She brings her lips close to mine, and waits until I can’t take it anymore. She wants me to take control, and I do.
I pull her closer, pressing my mouth against hers. She kisses me back, climbing into my lap, her thighs straddling me as my hands roam ov
er her ass. I groan as she grinds herself against my dick. She smiles as it hardens—she’s loving the effect she has on me, and I love it, too. I’m so turned on, and I’m so past worrying about everything else. All I want to do is focus on her.
One by one, I undo the buttons on her shirt, flicking it open with the final one. I lower the straps of her bra, sighing as her breasts spill out over the cups. I grasp hold of them, massaging them then lower my mouth over her nipples.
“That feels nice,” she sighs. She arches her back, grinding against me harder. She reaches down, her fingers fumbling with the button on my jeans. She edges back toward my knees and eventually figures it out while I chuckle, the restriction in my pants growing with every second. She glowers at me as she yanks down my zip, then reaches in and frees my cock, her eyes never leaving mine.
“God, you’re so incredible,” I mumble.
My breath catches in my throat as she grips my shaft, her hands sliding up and down the length. I reach into my pocket, pull out a condom and hand it to her. She rips it open, then places it in her mouth. With a gleam in her eyes, she lowers her mouth onto my dick, rolling the condom down over my length. I groan as the feeling of her hot mouth on my cock becomes almost unbearable. I’m not even inside her yet, and I’m on the verge of coming.
“I learned that on an episode of Sex and the City,” she admits, her eyes sparkling. I laugh and shake my head. Of course she did. I guess it’s better than the alternative.
She stands momentarily, and with her skirt still on, she shimmies out of her panties and flicks them aside before straddling my thighs once more, giving me a glimpse of her bare pussy. My heart races as I try and pace myself, because all I want to do is thrust myself inside her. I curl my fingers around her waist as she hovers above my length, teasing me, before finally sliding herself down on me.
Forbidden: A Student Teacher Romance Page 6
