Perfection Is Just an Illusion (Swimming Upstream #1)

by Rebecca Barber

  “I wanted to…I just couldn’t,” Anna sobbed.

  “I get it. I really do,” James cooed. “But next time something upsets you, or some asshole makes you think you are anything less than perfect, you tell me.”

  “Why?”

  “So I can kick their arse.” He grinned.

  ***

  Michael

  When Michael arrived home later on that afternoon, he was surprised to find Anna not propped up on the lounge in front of the television. I thought all women who were home during the day watched those dreadful American soaps. He chuckled to himself. Michael knew that James would kill him if he found out he hadn’t checked on Anna as soon as he walked through the door. Sighing, he wandered into the spare room.

  Lying sound asleep on the bed was Anna and James. Her head was resting on his chest, moving steadily up and down with his breathing. They looked so peaceful and relaxed that Michael didn’t want to wake them. He glanced down at his watch and noticed the time. James should have been at training twenty minutes ago. Gently he leaned over and woke his sleeping son.

  “James! Are you going to training? Look at the time,” Michael whispered, holding his arm out so James could see his watch.

  “Oh, shit!” James cursed as he tried to wiggle his way out from under Anna without waking her. Luckily he still had his swimmers on from the morning’s session. Once out from under Anna he was running out the front door.

  “When she wakes up, tell her that I’ve gone to training and will be back soon. Also…” James blabbered quickly. “Tell her that…tell her that I love her. And Dad, don’t let her go anywhere,” he warned him.

  As Michael trudged back into the spare room, he wondered what he had missed to make James worry so much. Anna was starting to wake. Her eyes fluttered open slowly.

  “Good morning, sleepy head.” Michael laughed.

  “Hey!” Anna grumbled, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, checking for dribble. “Where’s James?”

  “Gone back to training. And I’m to tell you that he’ll be back soon and you aren’t allowed to go anywhere,” Michael informed her, plonking himself down next to her. “You know what, Anna? You really do have that son of mine wrapped around your little finger. When he left here this afternoon, he looked so terrified that when he got back you wouldn’t be here and he would never see you again. You do realise your once private life is now public. Everywhere you go and everything you do is open to scrutiny. Everything you say will be taken out of context and used against you. You’ll be bombarded with questions about James, about you, and about anything else they feel like asking. Nothing is off limits. My boy would do anything for you. I hope you know that. Even if you asked him to give up swimming and move to the other side of the world, he would do it in a heartbeat. What I’m trying to say, Anna, is that my son doesn’t need me anymore. You’re what he wants and what he needs. He needs your love and your support and your unconditional friendship. He leads a very different life from you and me. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve a normal life. From now on he’s going to lead it with you standing beside him. I just hope nothing happens that will break his heart.” Michael smiled at her knowingly. Michael knew for as much as James loved her, Anna reciprocated.

  “I know.” Anna returned his smile.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here. Feel like a drive? Maybe we could head down to the pool. See who’s swimming.” Michael laughed.

  ***

  Anna

  After he packed her wheelchair into the car, Michael carried Anna out and strapped her into the front seat. She had temporarily forgotten about the pain in her ribs and the dull ache in her leg. Now she just felt heavy and embarrassed. Michael shouldn’t have to carry her about and baby her. They pulled into the car park and Michael parked in his designated spot. Soon enough, Michael was pushing Anna through the pool entrance and parked her wheelchair right behind the blocks. James’s coach, Joel wandered over to where Anna was sitting to see how she was doing.

  “Well, look at you! All dressed up and nowhere to go.” Joel chuckled, leaning over to give her a chaste kiss. “I take it you’re you the one responsible for making my prize swimmer late to training?”

  “Yep! That was me. Didn’t you like it?” Anna smiled sarcastically. Anna and Joel had always gotten along, ever since she first came to pick James up from training. Somehow they just meshed.

  James had been lapping up and down the pool and stopped now to take a break while he adjusted his goggles as he chatted to Ian, a training partner at the other end.

  ***

  James

  “Hey! I didn’t know your Dad was scamming on your leftovers,” Ian cackled, pointing at Anna and Michael.

  “I’ll race you to the other end,” James dared, pushing off the wall, heading towards the other end as fast as he possibly could. Shaking his head, Ian knew he had no chance of catching James, unless of course he wanted to be caught. When James went flat out there were only a very select few scattered around the world who could keep pace with him. That’s why he was the world record holder over more than one distance.

  With a wicked glint in his eyes, Joel smiled at Anna. “Well, Miss Smartass, you’re going to help me with a little exercise.” Anna was defenceless as Joel picked her up and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. James reached the end of the pool and looked up. Joel was standing behind the blocks, with Anna clinging to him as if her life depended on it while Joel dangled her over the edge of the pool.

  “Now, Mr. World Record holder who couldn’t even be bothered to show up to training on time…” Joel laughed hysterically. “Next up I want you to swim one hundred metres backstroke.”

  “No troubles,” James sassed, offering Anna a wink.

  “Hang on a minute. I’m not finished. While you’re doing your lap, you need to cluck like a chicken.”

  “What?” James seemed confused. “One hundred metres clucking like a chicken? You’re dreaming, old man,” James replied, his eyes never once leaving Anna’s. There was no possible way that James was going to make a fool out of himself by making chicken noises.

  “Cluck or else Anna is going swimming. In a plaster cast. The question is do you think she will sink or swim?” Joel chuckled wholeheartedly, enjoying the limitless power he had at this moment.

  “You wouldn’t dare,” James could usually tell if he was bluffing or not, but today he had no clue.

  “Swim! Or Anna will.” Michael had never seen James look so conflicted. Joel wiggled Anna about in his arms and held her directly over the water.

  “Would you just start clucking already?” Anna begged, tightening her grip on Joel’s arms. At least if Joel tossed her in she wasn’t going in alone. “Cluck now, James,” she demanded. James pushed off the wall and started clucking. The rest of the squad were drowning with laughter. For the first time since Anna and James had gotten together Michael saw firsthand the power she wielded over his son. Joel slipped Anna back in her wheelchair and went over to the edge of the pool. James finished his laps and resurfaced.

  “Anna, you should come to training more often. There seems to be a whole other level of encouragement I could use.” Joel laughed. James appeared as if he could kill with a look as he splashed water at him.

  “Come on, Anna, I think we’ve had enough excitement for one day. We’ll see you at home,” Michael called out to James as he pushed Anna towards the exit. Anna blew him a kiss and then she was gone.

  “So,” Ian was still laughing. “You’ve got your girlfriend living with you and Daddy’s babysitting. That’s so sweet.” James was used to Ian acting up and being the class clown. That’s just who he was. Normally, James never bothered to think of a witty retort for Ian’s snarky comments, but today was different. “What’s the matter, chicken boy? You look like someone ruffled your feathers. Got something to say? Spit it out then.”

  “Anna’s not my girlfriend,” James snapped, unable to mask the annoyance.

 
“What? She is so your girlfriend otherwise what’s your Dad doing with her? Don’t tell me I was right and she has moved on and is dating your father.” Ian had stopped mucking around and looked crestfallen.

  “She’s my fiancée,” James mumbled. None of the squad knew, only Joel had been told about the most recent development. It was strange in many ways. Australia knew that they were engaged yet James’s training squad had no idea. It was almost as if when they weren’t in the water they lived in a bubble so the world was locked out and nothing penetrated.

  “Excuse me. What was that?” Ian asked.

  “Anna’s my fiancée. We’re engaged.” James lifted his head up and smiled straight into Ian’s shocked face.

  “Oh, my god, man, that’s awesome. Congrats.” He bellowed as loud as he possibly could, which drew the attention of the entire team. “I can’t believe you’re getting married. That’s really great. I really am happy for you.” Within moments the congratulations were rolling in from team members, coaches, and even the pool staff.

  The old man, who had been running the pool since it opened years ago, said, “Saw your press conference and heard that you were engaged, but no one knew who the unlucky lady was. It was that little girl, the one we saw leaving with your dad, wasn’t it?” James just nodded proudly and accepted the pats on the back.

  Chapter 6

  Anna

  A few weeks later Anna was feeling much better. After a visit to the doctor, she had been allowed to get rid of that horrid wheelchair and plaster cast. Instead she was fitted with a fibreglass cast and given crutches. Anna liked the idea of being able to move again. Her independence was back and she no longer had to rely on anyone to babysit her. She was once again mobile. James’s face lit up when he saw his fiancée with a beautiful dazzling smile on her face.

  Sitting on the lounge, book in hand, Anna couldn’t help but grin when Diana came in carrying a large white box with a big blue bow wrapped around it. Diana’s eyes were alight with mischief. “Here you go, sweetheart.” She smiled, sliding the box into Anna’s lap.

  “Diana.” Anna’s heart melted. Everyone had been so nice to her while she was invading their home and now Diana was giving her yet another gift. “You didn’t have to do this. Thank you.”

  “Open it.”

  Anna felt like a princess, a very spoilt princess. Carefully Anna untied the bow and opened the box. Anna was surprised by the heaviness in her lap. Removing the lid, Anna spied the pile of magazines. Bridal magazines. Absentmindedly she flipped through the pages—dresses, cakes, flowers, and anything else that could somehow have taffeta attached to it.

  “Diana, I can’t possibly thank you enough for…for everything,” Anna spluttered, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I hadn’t even started thinking about it, let alone planning a wedding. Thanks.” Anna felt better that she was at least telling the truth. It felt like an eternity since Anna had even felt like she’d been able to just tell the whole, honest truth. And the truth was she hadn’t even considered beginning to plan a wedding. It was too early. Anna felt like she’d barely had a chance to catch her breath. After all they hadn’t even been engaged that long, it wasn’t as if she was exactly dragging her feet. As a silent tear slipped down Anna’s cheek, James chose that moment to stroll through the door.

  He had just arrived home from some sponsorship meeting, looking sexy as hell but completely exhausted. “Oh, isn’t that sweet—my two favourite ladies together.” He grinned, leaning over the back of the lounge kissing his mother and Anna on the head. “What’s this?” he asked, picking up the bow off the ground.

  “Well,” Anna began, “your mother brought me a present.”

  “Where’s mine? Nah, just kidding.” James laughed. “What is it?” he asked, plonking himself down on the arm of the lounge. Anna didn’t answer, she just held up one of the magazines.

  “So, which one have you picked?” James inquired, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

  “Excuse me?” Anna was startled. She hadn’t even thought about the wedding and now James was asking her which dress she wanted.

  Before Anna could summon an answer, Diana cut her off. “It’s tradition. You’re not allowed to know until she walks down the aisle and takes your breath away,” Diana stated matter-of-factly, grabbing a magazine. “Now my favourite son…”

  “I’m your only son,” James grumbled.

  “Yes, you are, so you’re the favourite. You know I love you but we have secret women’s business to attend to, so if you don’t mind…scat.” Diana waved her hand dismissively.

  “Fine! I can take a hint…” James protested.

  “Who has secret women’s business?” Renee questioned, gliding through the front door.

  “I’m definitely leaving. Love you.” He smiled, blowing Anna a kiss.

  Moments later Anna and Diana were perched at the kitchen table sipping steaming cups of coffee. Diana had her pen poised, ready to write down any and all decisions that Anna made. Renee was still ruffling through the kitchen cupboards in search of some chocolate biscuits. After all, it couldn’t be women’s business without chocolate. No decision ever made was a good one unless it was under the influence of chocolatey goodness. The table was covered in magazines, Renee’s wedding photos, and they had even managed to find some of Diana’s. The women had morphed into planning mode without batting an eyelash.

  “So, let’s start at the beginning. The date. When do you want to get married?” Diana’s face was full of excitement. She reminded Anna of an impatient child on Christmas Eve.

  “I don’t know. I need to talk to James about that sort of stuff.” Anna giggled happily.

  “Listen to me carefully, Anna. I am James’s mother and I love him more than life itself, but he can’t even decide whether he wants vegemite or jam on his toast in the morning. The only thing we need to consider on James’s behalf are the World Championships early next year.” Renee could barely hold herself together. She was laughing at her mother, who was finally admitting that perhaps her precious baby boy wasn’t perfect.

  ***

  James

  All three women were laughing as James strode through the kitchen and dived headfirst into the fridge. “Watch this.” Renee smirked. “James, when do you want to get married?”

  “That’s a stupid question. I would be happy to get married today if it meant that I didn’t have to go through all the crap. I did the hard part. The rest is Anna’s decision,” James declared.

  “The hard part?” Renee enquired.

  “Yep, the hard part.” James grinned, pulling his head out of the fridge, half an apple hanging out of his mouth. “I convinced her to say yes!” James’s eyes gleamed and Anna felt heat rush to her cheeks.

  “Really, I don’t want a fuss. Can’t we just elope?” Anna suggested with a shrug.

  “Sounds good to me. Sunday work for you?”

  “Hell no!” Diana objected with a ferocity that stunned everyone. “The whole point of having a wedding is so everyone can fuss over you. On that day everything is perfect and it becomes a day the two of you will remember forever. That’s the point of a wedding. It’s the day you stop living two separate lives and start sharing one,” Diana lectured.

  “Hey, I have an idea. What do you think of this? We elope to some tropical island, get married by a reggae man with dreadlocks, and then party all night at the local Bikini Bar, sipping exotic cocktails that are filled with fruit and those tiny umbrellas. You can’t say that wouldn’t be memorable,” James tormented. Anna saw the mischief written all over his face. Anna knew that James loved nothing more than winding his mother up and watching her reaction. Shaking his head, James wandered outside and left them to argue over the details.

  Three hours later a completely overwhelmed and exhausted Anna emerged from a world of wedding dresses and flower arrangements. James had just finished mowing the lawn. He was all sweaty and covered by a thin layer of dirt. He was bare-chested and wandering aimlessly around the backyard
. The sun bounced off his strong, glistening shoulders, making him look like some kind of Australian god. Anna’s mouth watered with want.

  “Well, well, well. It’s about bloody time you did some real work.” Anna laughed, hobbling towards him as she balanced on her crutches.

  “Listen here, Missy…” James grinned, sauntering towards her. Her mouth was dry. The swagger in his hips had her hypnotised. “I do real work all the time. In fact I, do more real work than you do.” James grinned his panty wetting smile as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulders effortlessly. “Now, you were saying what exactly?”

  Wrapping her arms around James tightly, Anna was in her element. Any time she was encased in those arms she was in her happy place. Despite the scent of dirt and sweat and something purely masculine, Anna breathed in a deep breath. For the first time in weeks things felt like they were back to the way they were before, and Anna couldn’t even find the strength or the desire to pretend that she was anything less than ecstatic about it.

  “Umm, I forgot. Guess what?” Anna murmured, as her tongue snaked out and licked him behind his ear. Goosebumps covered James’s skin instantly but Anna knew it wasn’t from cold. She could feel the warmth of his skin beneath her hands and she knew he was burning up. “If we ever end up buying a house, I want to have the biggest backyard you’ve ever seen. Acreage even!”

  “Acreage? What the hell for?” James asked, confusion in his gravelly voice.

  “That way you can mow it all the time and look as damn sexy as you do right now,” Anna whispered, nibbling on his ear lobe.

  “Firstly, it’s a matter of when, not if. And I can guarantee it we will have a huge backyard. But you, my darling, you can mow the lawn. With your shirt off,” James mumbled, distracted by the attention Anna was paying his ear. “Well, it is pretty hot out here this afternoon. I think I might just take a dip. Cool off.”