by Cydney Rax
“That’s because we’re a lot alike.”
Nicole smiled with happiness. “Today I feel complete. I feel like every tragic thing I’ve ever gone through in my life was because one day I’d end up with all of this. Shyla, girl, I have the man of my dreams. I am the mother of a healthy, beautiful baby girl. There’s no turning back now.”
With that, Nicole slipped her arm through Shyla’s, and they both headed for the sanctuary.
Chapter 2
The energy in the church could be felt by all. Nicole nervously stood at the double doors that led to the sanctuary. The guests sat on the edge of their seats, craning their necks when they knew the moment had finally arrived. When the marching music began, little Hayley trudged down the aisle first. A crown of baby’s breath was clipped to her hair. And she clutched a wicker basket filled with flowers between her tiny hands. Hayley smiled each time people waved and took photos of her. Nicole proudly noticed that she did exactly as she’d been instructed: petal toss, smile and wave, petal toss, smile and wave.
Her new stepson, Myles, looked handsome in his gray tuxedo. His eyes sparkled in amazement as he carried the ring bearer pillow a few steps behind Hayley. Right before they reached the front, they happily marched side by side, grinning and nodding at every clicking camera.
The music suddenly changed. Mimi and Nicole started down the aisle alongside each other. Nicole squeezed her sister’s arm in a tight grip, feeling amazed that any of this was actually happening.
Moments later, a beaming Nicole joined Rashad at the front. She hadn’t seen him in twenty-four hours. He calmly nodded at her and gave her a lopsided grin.
Together they turned to face the pastor.
As the ceremony proceeded, it took Rashad several tries to state his vows.
“You are the flame that lights . . . that sheds light on . . . um . . .”
He cleared his throat and asked if he could start over.
“Are you nervous, son?” the minister kindly asked.
“Do I look nervous?” Rashad rocked backward on his heels and almost slipped.
Jerry, his employee and best man, held up Rashad by his elbow.
“You all right, man?” Jerry whispered.
“I-I’m straight.”
Nicole fanned herself with her floral arrangement. The smell of liquor hit her nose, and she nearly gagged. Why was her man smelling like a roadhouse bar? It wasn’t even three o’clock yet.
Rashad tried again and managed to recite his vows.
The minister asked Nicole to speak her part. She cleared her throat and loudly said, “Two flames—”
Shyla burst out laughing.
“Sorry, I will start again,” Nicole murmured. “Two flames, one light. Rashad, I offer you this ring as a sign of life and myself as your . . . as your wife . . .” Nicole felt so emotional her legs almost caved in, but she got through it and within minutes, they were married.
An ecstatic Nicole kissed Rashad. He kissed her back with sleepy-looking eyes, but she barely noticed.
* * *
The wedding party and guests relocated to the social hall in another part of the church. Nicole changed into a lavender cocktail dress and was feeling good.
The DJ played “Here” by Alessia Cara. Nicole sang at the top of her lungs. And she was thinking of Ajalon Cantu as she mouthed the lyrics. She couldn’t believe how close she’d come to losing Rashad by foolishly letting herself getting involved with him.
“Bye-bye, my sexy Afro Italian,” she sang as she swayed to the music. The next club banger was specifically requested by Nicole: “Do What I Want” by DJ Carisma. The happy bride laughed, clapped, did a two-step, and broke it down to the ground. Everyone surrounded Nicole, cheering her on as she danced her ass off. The music was loud and booming, and the guests were having a grand time.
Nicole’s mama, Evelyn, mostly stood around staring listlessly at everything. Nicole stopped dancing and went to have a few words with the woman.
“Are you all right, Mama? Is everything okay?” Nicole kept asking. But she didn’t care about her mother’s stunned appearance. Evelyn looked like she was going to be sick, and Nicole knew exactly why. She knew all her mother saw were dollar signs when she looked at the lavish decorations, the stylish clothes, the line of limos waiting out front, and the large spread of food.
Usually when her mama saw this type of spread, it was because someone important had died and she had to cater the event; as a popular cook, Evelyn had actually prepared meals for the mayor of Bessemer, which was where Nicole had lived until she was twelve. Evelyn raised Nicole, Mimi, and two other nieces in a one-story, one-thousand-square-foot house that had only one bathroom. The best thing was that they had a huge lot with enough space for the kids to run around barefoot whenever they wanted.
But most of her other memories were troubling. Nicole vowed not to forget where she came from. She hoped her mother was happy for her and knew she’d come a long way.
“I’m just so relieved for you,” Evelyn uttered. She beamed at her daughter. “You made life work out beautifully for yourself.”
Nicole was stunned. Her mother had never said such flattering words before to Nicole.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Your dreams came true, daughter. You’re doing better than I ever did . . . at least for right now. Let’s hope that you can keep it up.”
Ouch, Nicole thought. “Mama, I don’t see why things won’t be kept up.”
“You never know with a marriage. But at least you’re starting out great, daughter. You got your education. Finally got that college degree.”
“Without any help from you, but yeah, I still got it.”
“Please, Nicole. Let’s not go into that. You seem to think that I never wanted to help you. But to be honest, I wasn’t always in a position to help out. My credit was jacked up. Back then I couldn’t get a loan to buy a DVD player. I struggled to pay the mortgage on that little piece of land we had. Doing it alone was hard. That’s why I pushed you to get your education, find a good job, and be independent. Why I told you from an early age that you needed to work, pay your bills, and be responsible. I know you thought I was being hard on you. But the world we live in is tough and unpredictable. I tried my best to prepare you for the future. And I was hoping you wouldn’t repeat all of my mistakes.”
Nicole stared at her mom through a different set of eyes. In the past, the woman was always so quick to say “no” that she’d assumed the lady was mean-spirited.
“Mama, when you told me you didn’t have money for my prom, I thought you were just being cheap or hateful.”
“In truth, Nicole, I wanted to save up and send you to prom, but we were two payments behind on our mortgage. I had to choose between having a place to stay or sending you to an expensive one-night party. As a single mom, which would you have chosen?”
Nearly being homeless was a serious matter. And Nicole felt ashamed to realize she had misjudged her mother all those years. “Of course I would choose the house. But Mama, you never told me any of this before.”
“Because you’re not good at listening when it comes to certain things. There were a lot of things happening all at the same time when you were in twelfth grade. I told you, but you wasn’t hearing it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“After I got caught up on the mortgage, I was thinking it would be nice to try and do something for you for prom, even though I did not agree with how pricey everything was. I had secretly put a dress on layaway for you.”
“You did?”
“Yes! Everything was cool at first, but then things got tight. You asked me again if you could go to prom. I told you very specifically that it depended on how many hours I could get at the restaurant. And you slinked out of the room before I could even finish. I was trying to tell you that a lot of spring weddings were on the calendar and I could do a lot of cooking and make enough money to buy you a nice dress. But you heard ‘it depends’ and that
was it for you, young lady. You take one little word and run with it, and once you started thinking all that negative stuff, I could not do a thing with you. I just said forget it and I got back my deposit on that dress and paid a bill.”
“Really?” Nicole asked, feeling even worse. It was hard for her to pretend like the past did not matter. The past made her see herself for who she was, and that realization made her embarrassed. “I acted like that? Well, I was a kid. I didn’t know any better.”
“You were a kid then, but even today you are set in your ways. You moved away to Texas without even caring about my opinion. That’s why I barely called you on the phone these past couple of years. I decided the only way for you to learn a lesson was to go through hard times on your own. See how it feels to be a real woman who has to work hard to get what she wants. It hasn’t been easy raising you girls, but I did my best.”
“I know, Mama—”
“And that’s why I backed off the way I did.” Evelyn shrugged. “I loved you from a distance. I prayed. It was the only thing left for me to do. And it must’ve worked.” She stared at her darling oldest child recognizing the woman she had become. “Again, congratulations.”
“Thanks, Mama.” Nicole’s voice was a sad, empty whisper.
“And now that you’ve spread your grown-up wings and made it big-time here in Texas, I suspect I won’t hear from you anymore after today. I hate to say it, but somehow I think you made sure I got here in this church so you could rub your good fortune in my face, and that’s fine. But after this day, I wonder if you’ll share any more of your happiness with me. So I wish you the best, sweetie. And I love you just the same.”
Evelyn Greene had spoken her peace. She moodily stared at her daughter, then discreetly walked away from Nicole.
The new bride stood in disbelief. She grabbed a glass of champagne and took a long swallow that did not stop until all the liquid had trickled down her throat. She burped and wiped her top lip. Then she picked up another glass and repeated the process.
“Eat, drink, and be very happy, Mama.” The music was so loud that Evelyn didn’t hear Nicole. “You no longer have to worry about me again. You don’t ever have to pray for me, either. I’m going to be just fine.”
Nicole triumphantly held up her empty glass. She gazed at the crowd that had come to share in her and Rashad’s happiness. She grinned hard and waved at her guests as if she was extremely happy, but in truth she wanted to sit down and cry. She wished that the past could’ve been reversed so that the things her mother revealed didn’t feel like a sledgehammer to her head. Raw truth always hurt Nicole. She was a pro at telling other people about themselves, but she could barely stand it when the truth was pointed out about her.
The DJ was playing nineties music. Shyla was dancing, until she stopped and approached Nicole with a cosmo drink. Nicole set down her empty glass and smoothly grabbed the one her friend handed to her.
“I shouldn’t be drinking this much, but, hell, if not now, when?” Nicole took a large gulp, then got up and danced about like she had no worries, feeling eager to forget any bad thing that had ever happened to her.
Shyla watched Nicole and assumed she was in a celebratory mood. She raised her own glass.
“Now that it’s all over, girl, I’m slowly starting to believe this was the right move for you. You put in the time and you finally got your man. I can’t hate on that. Cheers to us married ladies. We don’t have to whore around anymore. Oops, rather, you don’t have to whore around anymore, Nicole.”
“I can’t be mad at you, because you’re right. I whore no more.” Nicole winked. “My sex life is official now. What God has joined together, a bitch better not try to break apart. And I swear to you, he and I are united until death us do part. I mean that.”
“Let the church say ‘amen’ then.” Shyla clanked her glass against Nicole’s, and they sipped on their teal and lavender cotton candy cosmos and took a few more photos.
“Before he and I got married, I owned only the few things that I had to my name. My Mustang, my clothes, some DVDs, and a trunk that I got when I was in college. But now that Rashad and I are joined together, what’s his is mine.” Nicole beamed at Shyla. She wanted to forget every damning thing her mother had just told her. The old Nicole was dead. The new one had a fabulous life to live.
“I know you’re pumped, girl, but I must warn you. You gotta play it smoother, Mrs. Eason. Although you now have money, you still want everyone to think that you’re used to having it. You’re not quite nouveau riche, and I hope you don’t act nigger rich,” Shyla informed her. “Old money acts real unbothered about their millions or billions. And that’s because they were born in it. And I admire their low-key attitude.”
“Oh, so are you saying that when Rashad bought me my new Jeep, I went overboard trying to show it off?”
“Pretty much, Nicole. Put it like this: when is the last time you’ve seen Bill Gates show off his Rolex? Now that crazy Chris Brown loves showing off his fleet of Lamborghinis. And Justin Bieber’s young ass flosses his wealth, too. Look, I’m not mad at these folks earning their paper, but if you gotta flaunt it, in my book that’s what you call nigger rich.”
“Justin Bieber is—?”
“Look, silly woman. Buying expensive shit and showing it off to people who you even don’t care about is tacky. It’s the N-word, and yeah, white folks can act that way as well as blacks. You don’t wanna be like that, Nicole.”
“I disagree with you about me being the N-word,” Nicole replied with a sparkle in her eye. “Because now that I’m married, from now on, when it comes to the N-word, it’s going to mean nice.”
“You, nice?” Shyla smirked.
“Yes, don’t laugh. I really am trying to change for the better. I will do my best to get along with Kiara and Alexis. I have no reason to feud with them, not when I now have everything I want.”
Shyla could only laugh and down another mouthful of her liquor, for she knew her friend very well. She knew Nicole wanted to forget her negative past and be a better woman, but she doubted the girl would be successful.
“I mean it, Shyla. This wedding is intimate and joyous and just what I envisioned.”
“I’m glad you have had a nice wedding with the bells and whistles, and even the nice little write-up you’ll probably get in the Houston Chronicle,” Shyla told her. “Hey, you might even go viral on Vevo. But when this reception is over with, are you going to have a healthy marriage?”
And she turned and walked away.
* * *
“Hey, Mr. Eason.” The reception was in full swing. Nicole took a break from socializing with her guests to happily greet Rashad in a little hallway near the restrooms where they could enjoy a moment to themselves.
“How you doing, Mrs. Eason?” Rashad slurred his words and nodded at her. He struggled to stand flat on his feet. He kept holding on to the wall and wondered why it seemed to keep pulsating. Rashad wasn’t a regular drinker, and the little bit of vodka he did have impacted his bloodstream.
“Have you been boozing it up a little too much, babe?” Nicole asked.
“Nah,” he said. “It isn’t too much. In fact, it’s not enough. This party is just getting started. I’m about to go fill up my glass.”
Nicole heard that he’d been drinking a lot last night. And Jerry pulled her to the side right after the ceremony and informed her that Rashad had also gotten smashed mid-morning. Nicole was shocked at the revelation. She wasn’t fond of Rashad’s behavior at all but attributed his unusual deeds to nervous jitters. But now she wanted to have a serious conversation with him.
“I’ve been thinking, Rashad. Don’t you want us to start our marriage off right? Like, shouldn’t we set up a nest in a different house? I want Emmy to know what it’s like to live somewhere with a backyard big enough for a couple of dogs to run around.”
“Sure, yeah, whatever you say,” he said and slumped against her with his eyes all red and beady-looking. She took one
look at her husband and asked him to excuse her for a second. She quickly came back and handed him a fresh glass of ice water. She took care to pat his beaded forehead with a soft towel.
“Looks like I’m fulfilling my nursing duties for my husband already,” she said. Nicole remained next to him and talked sweetly.
“You need to sober up a little, Rashad. We can open a few of those gifts on that gift table that I’ve been dying to see.”
“I don’t care about any of that.”
“But I do. And I want you to be there with me. Just to take photos with a few of the items.”
“Okay, Nicole. Whatever you say.”
“You do want to make me happy, don’t you, babe?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then drink all of that water please, and don’t swallow any more liquor. Promise me right now.”
“I promise. I do. I will. Happy now?”
“We’ll only be here a little while longer, and then when it’s over, you can get some rest. I know you’re tired. I see your male friends are here helping you to celebrate, and I’m just happy that people came out to support us.”
“Yeah, it’s all good in the hood, babe.” Rashad sipped on his glass of ice water. He was beginning to feel slightly better than he had when he’d woken up that morning.
“Speaking of the hood,” she said. “I was thinking we need to start looking to move. I am ready to see what is out there since the market seems to be doing well in the Houston area.”
“Huh? I feel like I have a headache.”
“I’m sorry, babe.”
“So we can talk about doing all that eventually.”
“What’s wrong, Rashad?”
“Nothing’s wrong. But can you please lower your voice?”
“I’m not even talking that loud.”
“But you need to still lower it.”
She made sure he drank lots more water and waited until he seemed more alert.
“Okay, now, getting back to us buying a house right away,” she sweetly told him. “When can we move?”
“Nicole, let’s stay in the other spot till the lease is up. No need to waste any money by losing the deposit.”
