by Cydney Rax
“Hey there. Now, what’s going on that you had to see me so bad?”
“Damn, I see not much has changed.”
“Everything has changed. That’s what you’re seeing.”
“Well, check this out.” Rashad leaned in and began to pour out his heart. “This may sound crazy, but um, the wife and I are having a few issues.”
She nodded. “Mmm-hmm. I thought it would be something like that.”
“And I am not sure about my marriage.”
“Seriously? Then why’d you even get with her?”
“I did it because I care about Nicole. Just like she cares about me. But remember, this all happened after Kiara and I were through. I wondered if I even deserved a second chance at love, especially after I could admit to myself that I blew it with Kiara. I wanted to prove to myself I could do this. Be a family man, and a good, faithful husband.”
“That’s admirable, Rashad.” Alexis tried to hide her sarcasm. “If I would have known that you’d mature one day, and act like a real man, maybe I would have stuck around.”
He lifted his eyebrow. She burst out laughing. “Sucker! I was just kidding.”
“Sure, you were.” He stared into space. “A lot of things might have gone different if I had done the right thing at the right time. That’s why I’m now at a crossroad. Trying to figure things out. It’s crazy, Skillet.”
“All kidding aside, I’m glad that you are trusting me with your heart.”
He stared at her in amazement. He was glad there was at least one female in his life who was easy to talk to. “I’m not very good at this. But yeah, that’s what I want to do from now on. Love a woman the right way and follow my heart.”
Life could be so odd and uncertain. Every week, it was apparent that his kids were growing up fast. Time waited for no one. And Rashad wanted to make sure that his remaining years were ones that he did not regret.
“Skillet, trust me. I’ve learned a whole lot about life. And one thing I found out is that there are different kinds of love. The love you have for someone like family; the love for someone who’s just a friend and nothing more; the drunken, reckless type of love when you can blame it on the alcohol; and there’s that deeper, genuine type of love that causes a man to marry a woman. But even married love can be broken down into different levels.”
“I wouldn’t know, since no one has ever wifed me.”
“You’re too independent to get married.”
“Whatever,” she told him. “Get to the point.”
“Listen up. Most of the time, when a man gets married, he is either doing it because he can’t live without that woman. Now, that’s true love. Or the dude is lonely and just wants someone there because he hates being alone. And in extreme cases that man wants a domestic, nurturing chick, one who loves him no matter what and he can depend on her to take care of the house, and she can get down in the kitchen every day for his bum ass.”
“So are you saying that none of those describes your reason for hooking up with your female Shrek?”
“A combination of the three.”
Alexis laughed. “Well, at least you’re honest. I think you married that heifer as your rebound chick. You needed some companionship.”
“One thing I can admit is that Nicky’s a cool companion. She always has something going on. Keeps the energy level up and all of that. But nope, I can’t say I married her only for that reason, either.”
“But weren’t you lonely, Rashad?”
“I thought about it but I ain’t had time to be lonely . . . not when I went from one relationship right into another.”
“Tell me about it.” Alexis interrupted him and asked him to go up to the line and get their food. “I want turkey legs, yams, some of that hot corn bread, some Cajun corn, and a red Kool-Aid.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Alexis watched Rashad standing in line. He chitchatted with the other people waiting for their food. He talked to the restaurant workers and made them laugh. He wasn’t such a bad guy, she thought. But he’d married a bad woman. And she was happy he was getting away from Nicole, regardless of the reasons he’d married her. Men were such fools. And Alexis was relieved he’d admitted his foolish ways and had decided to do something about it.
Rashad brought Alexis a tray filled with food and set it in front of her. He handed her a fork and a spoon.
“Wow, you such a gentleman. And you even paid for my meal.”
“Always, babe.”
“Okay, getting back to the inexplicable reason why you legally hooked up with her. Not for love, not companionship. Wait. Let me guess. You wanted your own live-in slave.”
“I don’t consider a wife a slave. But the truth is, I work more hours than she does. You know that. So that means I don’t have tons of time to do shit around the house.”
“Especially that big old house I heard you got.”
“Yeah. It’s a monster.”
“But, Rashad, even if that house has to be maintained and kept clean, haven’t you ever heard of hiring a maid? You don’t have to mess over people and marry a woman just to get housework done. I can’t stand Nicole, but if that’s why you hooked up with her, then that’s whack. And we can already figure out why she married you.”
Alexis was right. Rashad knew he’d married Nicole without coming to terms with her true motives. Was her love genuine or manufactured? Did she value money more than him?
“I knew she had some issues before we got married, but it’s what you find out afterward that really makes you regret saying yes.”
“Like what?”
“This is going to make me sound like an asshole, but she makes this, like, fucked-up crazy sound when she sips her tea. Smacking her lips and shit.”
“You gotta be joking. That’s so freaking petty.”
“I know.”
“Rashad, you are an asshole.”
“Hey, I’ve been called worse.”
He hated the judgmental look that Alexis gave him. So he cleared his throat and threw his wife under the bus as the wheels were rolling.
“Don’t defend my ‘female Shrek,’ as you like to call her. She can be sweet, but she also has a shitty attitude, too. You think I’m petty? What about when I leave facial hair on the bathroom sink? She yells and curses at me and I ignore her. I am rushing, trying to get to work. If she loves me, she can clean up behind me.”
“Clean up after your own damn self.”
Rashad was just getting started. “Not only that. Why would an honest woman sneak stuff she buys into the house? Expensive shit she doesn’t need. What can a woman do with one hundred purses and two hundred pairs of shoes? I swear, it seems like that’s how many she’s bought since she met me. And she hides the stuff in the back of the Jeep. When she thinks I’m asleep, she sneaks in the garage, brings everything in the house, and stuffs it in the back of the closet. As if I can’t go in the closet and see what she’s done.”
“Do you talk to her about it?” Alexis almost laughed. She had a huge shoe and purse collection herself.
“Naw, I don’t say shit.”
“Then you’ve only got yourself to blame. Look, I can understand it if the things she does annoy you. She annoys the hell out of me and I’m so happy I don’t have to live with her. But really, Rashad, those minor issues can be worked out if you really wanted to do that. But then again, she is so shady I wouldn’t try the bitch. So I can kind of see where you’re coming from.”
“Okay, alright. Thanks for seeing things my way for a change. And one last thing, Skillet. She tries hard, but she can’t suck a dick to save her life.”
Alexis spit out her food and watched it fly across the table. “Are you serious? You really think a judge will grant you a quickie divorce because her dick-sucking skills are weak? Rashad, you need to get real. Because your excuses for leaving the mother of your child are as weak as LeBron’s reasons for losing a championship.”
Rashad’s face reddened. First of all, he was lying.
Nicole was skilled at making love to him in every way. So, why was he making up tales about his own wife? He’d sunk to an all-time low, and he didn’t know whether he was coming or going.
“I’m here to tell you everything that’s been going on, because it doesn’t stop there.” Rashad proceeded to inform Alexis of the truthful things that had been happening since that morning. At the urging of his mother, he’d had an emergency consultation with his family law attorney, Lily Tangaro, a few hours ago. Lily had asked him a million questions. She’d listened to his ramblings. And she’d told him what to do but said the final decision was up to him, and she’d warned him to be ready for the fight of his life.
“So, yeah, Skillet. I put in for an annulment today. And that’s why I wanted to see you. I had to tell somebody.”
“That’s crazy. I simply don’t believe it.”
“And as crazy as it sounds,” he said, “my own mama pushing me to get things started before my thirty days are up is what’s really pressuring me. She’s been on my ass every day.”
“Oh, so that’s the sudden rush? You allowed your mother to pressure you into making a life-altering decision? Rashad, don’t be stupid.”
“I’m not trying to be stupid. I just want to be happy.”
“Oh, wow, now you’re really starting to piss me off.”
“Why is that?”
“Number one, you’re grown. You’ve gots to live your own life, not let your mother influence your heart. Do what’s in your heart.”
“I’m trying to do that. I’m trying to be real, Skillet, and that’s why I didn’t want to drag this along any further.”
“Damn, Rashad. I get that you want to be happy. We all deserve that. But were you really thinking about your happiness when you told her that you’d marry her?”
“I wanted to make her happy.”
“You wanted to do that, but you forfeited your own happiness. You shouldn’t do things for others if it’s not what you really want to do. Nobody would guess that you’re almost forty. My goodness.”
“Slow your roll, Skillet.”
“What? You don’t wanna hear the truth? Does it hurt, Rashad? Because you honestly don’t care about hurting other people.”
“But I didn’t do it on purpose.” Rashad was feeling very conflicted and wished his truth could be believed and understood. “What about what she’s done to me? What about when she played me with her boy, Ajalon? You saw the tape. You saw them fucking on my patio. What about that?”
“If this woman’s betrayal pissed you off that bad, then I’m sorry, you should have dumped her and went on with your life.” Alexis was so mad she could barely think. “You knew what you were getting from jump street. And to me, when you play with a woman’s emotions, especially a crazy chick like Nicole, you can’t do certain things without thinking them through. You had doubts early on, and it’s like you went into this relationship expecting it to fail. She went in wanting to succeed.”
“Hey, I didn’t know—”
“You knew exactly what she was like from day one. Men like you get on my nerves. When you were just fucking her, you didn’t care about her imperfections, but after you two got married, all of a sudden you can’t tolerate her annoying habits anymore?”
“This isn’t about me telling you this info so you can attack me, Skillet. I wanted you to hear me out, feel me, because in spite of you trying to be pissed at me, I know you can’t be taking up for the same woman who made you call the cops when she pulled that gun on you. So save your sisterhood empowerment speech, all right?”
Ouch! Low blow. Alexis didn’t realize how much she was shaking. She tried to quiet down before she responded.
“Look, it’s too late for me to tell you what to do, Rashad. But she’s going to have a heart attack. All she talked about when she got back from your honeymoon was how happy she was to be married.”
* * *
Rashad thought about the recent events of his life. He still felt slight pain in his back, and he couldn’t believe that he still had to take prescription medicine and make his regular therapy sessions. He never would have imagined that any of these situations would have happened to him.
“I’ll be honest with you. I’ve been blindsided a lot this year. And one thing that shocked the hell out of me is when I looked up and saw my ex-wife in my hospital room. Kiara? Coming to see me? And bringing a gift for my birthday—even though she did it on the slick through Myles?”
“She probably was just as surprised as you by her actions. But that woman has a lot of heart. And I heard that she got to the site of the accident even before your wonderful new wife did.”
“I know. And when I think about it, you really don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” Rashad carefully pondered his words. “Kiara does have a good heart. A stubborn heart, too. Her recent actions showed me a lot. And maybe she’s too proud to admit that she still loves me.”
“Loves you?” Alexis burst into laughter. “Slow your roll, Rashad, because I do believe you’ve lost your damn mind. Kiara did the right thing in a crisis. Good for her and good for you. But please, forget all about Kiara loving you. I’m a woman, and I know how these things work.”
“So you’re saying that you could never love me again, Skillet?”
Alexis held her breath and counted to ten. “I’ll pretend you didn’t ask me that. This is not about Kiara loving you. It’s about Nicole hating Kiara. It’s about Nicole despising your ex so much that she brings a negative attitude into your marriage. I hear the things she says around the office to whoever listens. It’s disgraceful and unprofessional. She competes with Kiara, and she knows it’s a losing battle. That’s driving her crazy and driving you away from her. So I’m telling you, Rashad, if you believe that Kiara still loves you with a wifely love, and you leave your current wife for your ex-wife, you might as well call the undertaker, because you’ll completely kill that woman once and for all.”
“If what you’re saying is true, then that’s something I will have to consider. But right now I need a big favor because this is where I want you to come in!”
“Me, why me?”
“Because Kiara is your boo.”
“I don’t want any part of your schemes.”
“Just listen to me, please.” Rashad took a deep breath. “I need you to convince Kiara that I am still in love with her and I still want her. I need her to know that I want to be the husband I should have been all along. We can try and make things work. Fall in love all over again. And get married again. Raise Myles and Jazzy together. All that.”
“You sound like a fool, and you’re forgetting one vital detail.”
“What’s that?”
“Kiara still has Eddison’s promise ring.”
He threw back his head and laughed. “Promise ring, my ass.”
“You are so wrong for that.”
“If that Eric Benét look-alike was serious, why didn’t he buy Kiara an engagement ring? He’s up to something. It’s all smoke and mirrors.”
“Eddison is not smoke and mirrors, hater. He is perfect.”
“No man is perfect. Not even me.”
“Rashad, you’re too much. Let me hear more about your plans.”
“So, if I go to Nicole and tell her that Kiara and I are going to give our relationship one more try . . .”
“You’d hear Nicole scream from here to the moon. I’m serious, Rashad. That child would probably ride an elevator to the top of the Empire State Building, stand on a ledge, and take a flying leap. You know, she’s so over the top I wouldn’t put it past her.”
“I don’t know how she will react, but I guess I will find out soon. Right now my mind is on getting my family back. And I think it’ll happen. Once Kiara knows that her knight in shining armor is a piece of shit for real, she’ll be running back in my arms in no time.”
“You really got it bad for her, don’t you?”
“What do you think?” he told her. They finally got around to
eating their meal, and Rashad couldn’t wait to take the next steps that would define the rest of his life.
Part 2
Revenge Is Stronger Than Love
Chapter 10
Rashad paced outside of the church, wincing at times due to his throbbing back pain. He was standing in front of the little stone building where he’d gotten married a month ago. Nicole had asked him to meet her. She was late. And he felt anxious. Although he’d filed the papers for the divorce, he still hadn’t told her of his plans.
It was a Monday. Nicole had called in sick and told Rashad she’d be taking Emmy to the doctor. She left him an ambiguous voice mail, and now here he was, wondering what was up.
When he saw his wife’s black Jeep swerve to a quick stop in the parking lot, he trudged over to the driver’s side.
Nicole pointed behind her and popped the locks. Rashad immediately opened the door and unbuckled his youngest daughter from her car seat.
“Hey, baby girl, are you all right?” He whisked Emmy into his arms.
“Dada. Hi fi.” She had recently learned how to say a few words.
Rashad gave Emmy a high five.
“What’s supposed to be the matter with her, Nicky, because the baby looks normal to me?”
“You didn’t see how she was acting earlier this morning.” Nicole came and stood next to her family. “She woke me up, crying her eyes out. She had a high temperature. She was sweaty. She didn’t want to eat. I got scared.”
“And what did the pediatrician tell you?”
Nicole squirmed and glanced at her feet. “That’s the problem. She couldn’t find anything wrong.”
“No kidding.”
“But I don’t believe her. She only spent five minutes examining Emmy and then told me the baby simply needs to stay hydrated. Emmy’s always got a bottle in her mouth. I don’t think the doctor knows what she’s talking about.”
“Nicky, if you called me way over here for something you could have told me over the phone . . . then I see this as a case of overreacting . . . again.”
