by Cydney Rax
Then there were others. Cold-blooded killers. One woman she met had thrown kerosene on her man when she caught him fucking her sister. She lit a cigarette lighter and laughed as her man screamed and yelled, racing around the house, going outside and running down the street, lit up like a Christmas tree as the flames overtook him. And Nicole also met a woman, a girl barely eighteen, who’d put twelve bullets into her father, a man who had snuck into her bedroom every night for years to fondle her vagina, kiss on her little body, and stick his penis where it did not belong. “I did it so he couldn’t do that to my baby sister. He had to go,” she said unapologetically. “He got twelve bullets, one for each year he did that to me. He destroyed my life, but at least I won’t have to feel his nasty, sweaty hands and his disgusting, sweaty balls on me ever again. Deuces.”
Nicole nodded in wide-eyed horror as some of the other women shared their stories. Some were true nutcases. Women who had been institutionalized for so long that causing uproar through fistfights and loud arguments didn’t faze them. Or they were schizophrenics, spending their time accusing others of things they never did. She stayed far away from those women, for there was no predicting what they would do to her. But there was one female whom she got to know.
* * *
“Hey, my name is Viv. What’s yours?” Viv’s hair was a buzz cut that made her eyes look big and scary.
Nicole shrugged and turned away from the woman, whose face was devoid of makeup but whose sparkling smile made up for it.
“It must be your first time, huh? It ain’t so bad. You get used to it after a while.”
“No way I will ever get used to this.”
“The thing that makes it better, sweet thang, is when you get visitors from the outside. That helps to make the time pass.”
“Nobody will come see me.” Nicole’s voice sounded like a whisper. “Nobody.”
But the next afternoon, she was surprised when a prison guard called her.
“You’ve got a visitor. Follow me down this hall. You have fifteen minutes.”
Nicole didn’t feel excited. It was probably just going to be her lawyer, the man she couldn’t afford to pay.
She slowly walked down the narrow hallway behind the guard. He let her into a visitor room, which held a series of benches inside of little booths. Glass partitions divided the prisoner from his or her guest.
When Nicole sat down, at first she saw no one. Moments later Ajalon’s handsome face popped up in the window as he slid onto the round metal seat.
He leaned toward the glass, as close as he could get, and pressed his mouth against the speaker. “How’s it going, Bella?”
“You son of a bitch. What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see how you were holding up.” He wore a slick smile on his face.
Nicole felt numb at first. She now knew that Ajalon had sold her out. She knew he was the one who had snitched on her and told the cops that she’d solicited her husband’s murder. And she knew that the henchman had been betrayed, too, and that was why he’d ended up taking his own life.
“You should be in this horrible place, Ajalon. Not me.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Do you think they got the wrong person?” He had a look of innocence on his face. But she knew he was mocking her and there was nothing she could do about it.
Nicole couldn’t help it. It was like a pipe burst, and angry tears streamed from her eyes.
“How could you do this to me?”
“You know why.”
“So, this is about money? I offered you money.”
“Someone else beat your price.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Your husband must have pissed off a lot of people, because someone else offered to pay for his death. So I took your money and that person’s money, too.”
“But how could you go behind my back and accept an offer from someone else?”
“Remember, a long time ago, you told me, once a criminal always a criminal? I didn’t want to believe it. It hurt me and I didn’t believe your words described me. So I fought against that label. Then I stopped fighting. Getting a regular man’s job was too hard. And the streets kept calling me. So when you came up with the idea to make money doing dirty work, I jumped at it. And when a second opportunity arose, hey, I couldn’t help myself. Because, you know, it’s in my blood. Besides, Bella, haven’t you heard that anyone who can be bought once can be bought twice?”
* * *
It was the moment Alexis McNeil had been waiting on for a long time. She was preparing to walk through the metal detector. She acknowledged the guard, who stared at her with a silly grin. She wore a fedora and was asked to remove it and she complied. After searching her, the guard discovered there was no contraband hidden inside of her hat. He told her she could put it back on. Alexis knew she stood out among all the other visitors coming to see inmates. But she wore the hat to make a point. She had on a sleeveless polka-dot blouse and black silk pants. Three strands of pearls rested against her neck. Alexis looked calm and strikingly beautiful. She felt good on the inside, too.
Once she passed security, she rode the elevator to the fifth floor of the Harris County Jail. She checked in at the window and took a seat at a hard bench as she waited for Nicole to come out.
I can’t wait to see the look on that tramp bitch’s face.
Alexis didn’t have to wait long.
The second Nicole saw her visitor, she scowled, and she was about to twirl back around and go back to her stall.
But Alexis yelled, her voice loud enough to be heard through the thick glass window, “Wait, Nicole, it’s about Emmy.”
Nicole faced Alexis and slowly sat down on the round swivel seat.
“What about my baby?”
“Emmy’s fabulous. I went to see her.”
“You went to see her? How?”
“I’ve kept in touch with your mother, Evelyn, and your sister, Mimi. They had to come to the workplace to pick up your personal belongings. So we talked. We talked a long time.”
“Stay away from my family.”
Alexis looked surprised. “Is that a threat?”
“Leave my daughter alone.”
“I’d think you’d be happy that I was around Emmy. Remember that time that you reminded me that our daughters are sisters? Well, regardless of what’s happened to you, they will always be family; and they have a lot in common, Nicole. And I think that they may need each other one day.”
“You’re getting a big kick out of this, aren’t you?”
“Not as much as you think but, then again it does feel like poetic justice. You tried to pull a gun on me. But you got off easy. Yet I knew that one day you’d pay for all the trouble you’ve caused ever since you arrived in Houston.”
“Oh, really? You’re not completely innocent, either, Alexis. You’re the original side bitch, remember? I guess that’s why you always acted so salty toward me. You wanted to be me.”
“No, Female Shrek, I never, ever wanted to be like you. In fact, when I met you and saw how hard you were chasing after Rashad, it made me want to do better. And thank you for that one thing, Nicole. Because I learned my lesson and kept it moving. The side-chick business is not for me.”
“Oh, please, you are no better now than you were when you were secretly fucking him.”
Alexis came to the jail to have a little bit of fun with Nicole. But now she bristled with anger. She flashed her left hand. “Anyway, I thought you’d want to know that my man proposed to me.”
Nicole gave Alexis a stony, miserable look. “Wearing a ring means nothing. You could have bought your own engagement ring.”
“Oh, I don’t have to do things like that. A woman whose man really feels her doesn’t need to buy her own ring or coerce him into making things legal.”
“Whatever Alexis. I don’t care.”
“I’ve really been blessed. It feels good to be a reformed side chick. But you, Nicole, you
were always a mistress.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I was a wife.”
“No, sweetie. Unless you feel regret about sleeping with a married man and change your scandalous ways, even if you convince the fool to marry you, the mistress mentality will always be in your head; the woman that the man must hide because she’s not legitimately his. That lifestyle sucks because the woman never wins.” Alexis thought about how she almost fell into the exact same trap that Nicole did. She used to dream about being with Rashad permanently. But she was happy that her wake-up call forced her to change her life. “I had to find my own man. Well, actually he found me. Our love was created the right way.”
“Sounds like you are feeling yourself, Alexis. Yet you seem to forget that you had a baby with your married man. Way to go,” Nicole said sarcastically.
“Yes, I did have his child. It wasn’t right but I owned up to that. But you?” Alexis glared at Nicole. “You may have gotten him to marry you, but you never were a wife. And deep inside Rashad despised you because you reminded him of how much he fucked up. You thought your dream wedding was just the beginning, but girl, it was the beginning of the end.”
“Get the hell out of here. And don’t ever come back,” Nicole shrieked.
Alexis stood up, gave Nicole one last stare, and started to walk away. She stopped, turned around, and shouted, “Mistress!” And then she left Nicole alone to go back to her cell.
Chapter 20
Weeks later, on a beautiful, late summer day, Eddison and Kiara drove out to his property in Katy. Myles and Jazzy were seated in the back of the car, both talking over one another as they enjoyed the pleasant ride. Eddison had popped in a CD by world-renowned composer and pianist Brian Crain. “One Morning in June,” a beautiful piano and cello duet, was playing softly in the background.
“Oh my God, this music is amazing,” she told him. “It is so peaceful. Everything I need and want.” Kiara relaxed in her seat and couldn’t have been happier. Life had been tough going for a while, but things were looking up.
“What does the music make you think of?” Eddison asked as he drove.
“Being free, letting go.”
“Good. That’s the effect I wanted it to have.”
“You’re a clever man. You know just what to do.” Kiara was so content that she felt a little guilty. Ever since her ex was killed, she’d experienced a myriad of emotions: anger, sadness, and her brain flushed with so many memories. Things she wanted to forget, but she knew she had to remember, for through her recollections his memory would go on for her children’s sake.
Once they arrived in Katy, they got out of the car and walked the grounds. Together they reviewed the floor plan of the dream house they planned to build.
Kiara stood on top of the grass near the front of the land.
“Okay, this is where Myles’s room will go, and Jazzy gotta be right next to him so they can drive each other crazy,” Kiara said.
“Yes. And I think Hayley won’t mind bunking with her sister.”
“I agree. Kids need to share bedrooms and not always have their own.”
“Unless it’s a little infant, a newborn who needs its own room,” Eddison gently told her. She looked up at him and smiled.
“Wow! I agree with you two times within one minute. You’re good, Eddy.”
They both decided that they wanted to have a baby together. And Kiara was so happy that although at one time she thought she’d get her tubes tied, she decided not to. She would be honored to have this man’s child.
“I love you to the moon and back, Eddison Osborne. You have proven yourself over and over again. I feel like I don’t deserve you sometimes.”
“You are the best woman ever. The best mother. The best everything.”
“Oh, you exaggerate. But I love it.” She sighed with contentment. But he had one more thing to tell her. “I just wish you’d change your mind about—”
“Eddy, I think we can be happy without that piece of paper. So many people will do anything to get the piece of paper, but it doesn’t guarantee their happily-ever-after.”
“I understand but—”
“But nothing, sweetheart. I feel blessed to have you right now, right here, and I know I will always love you. I don’t want anything to mess that up. I’m afraid of marriage, but I’ll take another chance on good love, Eddy.”
“Marriage provides much more security than simply living together. Don’t you want that?”
“I’m secure in that I love myself. I adore my children. I know that you are a good man, the best man I’ve ever met, and I feel confident you will always do the right thing and make sure that I’m okay. That’s enough for now. Anything else would be a bonus.” Kiara Eason knew that she wanted to love again, but this time she was determined to get it through her own terms. Whether Eddison thought she was copping out on him didn’t matter. Her heart must be protected. No matter what it took.
* * *
Evelyn and Mimi came to see Nicole one Friday evening in early October.
At first mother and daughter grimly stared at each other through the big, thick glass partition. Finally, Nicole spoke.
“I should have listened to you.”
“Most adult kids stop listening to their parents. And all we can do is to try our best to raise you.”
“Who is going to tell Emmy what she should and shouldn’t do? Damn, I really messed up. Things got way out of hand. But I feel like I’m innocent. I was set up. My lawyers will prove my innocence. And that bastard Ajalon will pay for what he did.”
Evelyn raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
“Yes, Mama! He committed the ultimate betrayal. Ajalon took me to the cleaners and I didn’t even know my pants were off. When I get done with him, he’ll wish he could walk to the cleaners. I know people.”
Evelyn laughed. “You still don’t get it, do you, Nicole? When will you learn that you can’t keep trying to pay someone back for hurting you? Your husband tried to do that, and look where it got him. Let it go, baby. Or else the cycle will continue . . . until another person ends up dead.”
“It won’t be me.”
“But you never know how things will turn out. I never thought you’d end up here.”
“For once, I agree with you, Mama.” Her voice trembled as she poured out her heart. “I hate it here. I think I might seriously go insane. And the food they serve to us . . . I could get better tasting food from a garbage dumpster.”
Evelyn felt so sorry for her child. Compared to how she existed now, she was sure Nicole would give anything to go back to Alabama, and eat her mom’s cooking and live in the tiny one-story house that she couldn’t wait to escape.
Nicole stared into space and continued. “I’ve been thinking a lot. And every day I ask myself, is it my fault for wanting the nice, normal things I’ve wanted, even if I made the wrong choices in trying to get them? I didn’t mean for all that crazy shit to happen. So what is it about me, that I can’t get what so many other women have? The Kiara Easons of the world. The beautiful, successful women who were easily handed the good life? Ever since I can remember, it’s like God has had it out for me, but why?” She sniffed and looked to her mother, who had no answer. “You know what, Mama? If there’s nothing else I’ve learned, it’s that I finally understand why some people become criminals. They may have tried to do the right thing, but bad still happened. So what else could they do except do things differently? They know their way is risky, but they roll the dice anyway. Mama, if you know what it’s like to lose all your life, what more do you have to lose?” Memories of what Nicole gained and lost flashed through her mind. “I-I felt I had nothing left to lose. And by being here, it looks like I’ve proven that. But I never wanted to prove anything except that I could have a good husband, a child, a nice home. Normal shit.” She sneered as she looked around. “And now all I have is this fucking miserable, unreal existence.”
“That sounds like a confession to me, daughter.
”
“You know what I confess to? You asked me a question a while ago. Which part of me wanted revenge? Well, my wise mother, the wife part of me loved Rashad and could never hurt him. But the revenge side of me is the mistress. She is the one who is given a shitload of broken promises. She is the one whom a married man builds up with his false dreams. His ‘I love yous’ that don’t mean a thing. That’s the part of me that Rashad let down. Yes, I’ve been a wife. But the mistress part of me, that I wish I could totally get rid of; she wanted him dead and now I wish she were dead.”
Nicole broke down and began to sob. She covered her eyes and wept as the sorrow of her reality overwhelmed her entire soul. Evelyn wished she could reach through the glass and comfort Nicole, but what had her advice ever done for her daughter? For a minute Evelyn hated Rashad. And the only thing she could do right then was cry silently with Nicole and mourn the past.
* * *
Kiara was comfortably sitting on the lawn chair on the patio. She was browsing through a fashion magazine and sipping on iced tea. Myles suddenly burst through the door, holding her cell phone.
“Mommy, your phone is ringing.”
“Well, gee, thanks, Myles, for bringing me the phone. I’m shocked you don’t know how to answer it.”
She flipped back her hair and answered. It was an unrecognizable number.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Kiara Eason?”
“Who’s speaking?”
“My name is Patrice Grant. I’m calling from MetLife.”
Kiara’s heart dropped. “Is there anything wrong?”
“No. I just wanted to inform you about an insurance policy.”
“Oh. Not interested. Good-bye.”
“Hold on. Don’t hang up. Um, this has to do with the death of Rashad Eason.”
