‘Oh,’ Zoe responded, clearly not impressed by this. ‘And?’
‘He said he would be here soon.’
‘And that’s what you want, is it? Him here?’
Pippa huffed as she sat back down on the ball. ‘Not really my choice, is it?’
‘What do you mean; of course it’s your choice. If you don’t want him here, he doesn’t have to be.’
‘Yes he does, Zo, he’s the dad. I wouldn’t hold him back from the moment his child was born just because he’s a total arse. He might be an idiot to me, but as long as he does the right thing for the baby, surely that’s all that matters?’ She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince Zoe, or herself.
‘Fair enough, it’s your choice. So what’s the latest?’ Zoe began pottering around the flat already, moving things from one place to another. It was obvious she just wanted to be helpful. Pippa found it sweet.
‘The contractions aren’t close enough together yet to go into hospital, so I’ve called the midwife and I’m to go in when they are about five minutes apart.’ She breathed slowly
‘And how far apart are they now?’
‘About ten minutes.’ She said between breaths.
‘Okay. What do you want me to do? Have you got your hospital bag ready? Anything I need to put in there?’ Zoe had her hands outstretched, ready for action. She looked so nervous.
Pippa shook her head. ‘Nope, it’s all done and by the front door.’ Pippa hesitated before asking the next question. ‘Can you call Jason?’
Zoe hesitated. ‘Sure, why?’
‘I just want to know how far away he is and see whether it’s worth him going straight to the hospital or not.’
‘How close together are your contractions now?’
‘I don’t know. I feel like it’s going really quick, but I just don’t know. Here,’ she gave Zoe her phone, ‘Stick it on speaker-phone so I can talk to him.’ Zoe did as she asked and the phone began to ring. It rang and rang, but he wasn’t answering. Pippa looked up to Zoe, trying to hide the worry. ‘Maybe he’s driving.’
Zoe raised an eyebrow. ‘Hasn’t he got a hands-free?’
Pippa nodded. ‘Try it again.’ Zoe did it for a second time and still it continued to ring and Pippa couldn’t help but feel nervous. But she didn’t feel like it for long because just as Zoe was putting the phone down, the door went again. ‘Oh, that’s probably him.’
‘Okay. I’ll go, you just chill.’ Zoe jumped up and went to the door, opening it up to Jason, as expected. ‘Alright?’ she asked him, but Pippa could sense the frosty atmosphere between the two of them already.
‘Fine thanks, you?’
‘Fine.’
‘How comes you’re here?’ He walked in and saw Pippa, smiling at her as he took his coat off.
‘Pippa asked me to come.’
Pippa could feel that Zoe was on the brink of telling Jason exactly what she thought of him, but was grateful that she didn’t. She continued her rocking, trying to breathe as she felt the next contraction take hold. She inhaled hard, increasing her rocking so that she was going a little faster, the more the pain increased, the faster she went.
‘Hey, it’s okay, I’m here now.’ Jason bent down in front of her, taking her hand into his. Unexpectedly, anger shot into her body and she jerked her hand away. ‘Pip?’ he questioned.
‘Look, just because… breathe…I asked you to be here… breathe… doesn’t mean I need you here… breathe…’
‘I don’t understand. You said you wanted me here at the birth. I thought you wanted me here so we could do this together.’ His face oozed confusion. Pippa would feel sorry for him if she didn’t hate him so much.
‘And we are, we can do this together… breathe… but you don’t need to touch me… breathe… just be here!’ Talking was too hard, she needed to stop. She pressed her chin into her neck as her pain intensified. Jason stood up like a stroppy teenager and walked over to the sofa, plonking himself down on it.
‘Pip? You’re contractions are getting closer together, I think maybe we should make our way to the hospital, just to be safe?’ Pippa nodded and Zoe took her arm, lifting herself up to standing. ‘Just take it easy, there’s no rush. I’ll walk when you walk.’
She took her first step and stopped. ‘Not yet,’ she said, breathlessly, ‘in a minute’. She stood and leaned on Zoe, puffing as she did. After a minute, she was able to walk slowly.
‘Can you carry the bag down to my car?’ Zoe asked Jason, who was immersed in his phone already and simply stood up to acknowledge hearing her. Pippa could see Zoe clenching her jaws but she gave her credit, she didn’t say anything.
Walking to the car was the hardest thing she had ever done. With every few minutes she had to stop and compose herself. ‘I think they’re getting closer together,’ she said as she leant against yet another wall.
‘It’s okay, we are nearly there and the hospital isn’t far.’ Zoe looked over her shoulder at Jason.
‘Okay, just get me in the car.’ Pippa used her energy to make the last few steps to Zoe’s car and slide into the front seat. The pain increased as she sat down. ‘Oh, hurry up, Zo!’ She looked out the window to see Jason opening the back door and throwing the bag in, closing it without getting in. ‘What are you doing, get in!’
‘Pip, I’ve got to go.’
Both Pippa and Zoe looked at him, horrified. ‘What do you mean you have to go, go where?’
‘It’s Jenna; she thinks she may be having contractions.’ He at least had the decency to look ashamed at his comment.
‘Are you for real?’ Zoe shouted from the driver’s seat. ‘Pippa is in labour here, with your child, and you’re just going to go off?’
‘What am I supposed to do? Jenna might be in labour too. I’m in a really difficult situation here.’
‘And whose fault is that, Jason? Pippa is your wife, for crying out loud, get in the car!’
Pippa couldn’t speak. She was stunned by what was unfolding in front of her. She rubbed her hand over her bump as the contraction died down again.
‘I’m sorry, I can’t. I’ll go and find out what’s happening and I’ll come to the hospital as soon as I can.’
Zoe started to talk, but Pippa got in first. ‘Do you know what, Jason? Don’t bother!’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, clearly you have your priorities and me and this baby don’t rank very highly, so don’t bother. I’ll let you know when the baby is here, but I don’t want you there.’
‘But Pippa, you’ve got to understand the position I’m in.’ He was leaning towards the car, pleading for her forgiveness.
‘No Jason, I haven’t got to understand anything.’
‘But –’
She held up her hand to silence him. ‘I don’t want to hear any more rubbish from you. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to have a baby.’
Jason punched the side of the car as Zoe drove off and Pippa could see him in her mirror, holding his head with his hands in exasperation.
‘Good for you, Pip. I’m proud of you.’
But she didn’t have time to dwell on it. ‘Oh God, here’s another one.’
Zoe put her foot down and reached across for Pippa’s hand. ‘You can do this – I know you can.’
Pippa looked out of her window at the navy-streaked sky and concentrated on her breathing. There was only an hour left of today – tomorrow, her new life as mummy would begin. And she had never been more ready.
Epilogue
Slashes of deep blue streaked across the sky above, sprinkled with glittering stars and milky residue from the clouds, which were slowly dispersing from earlier in the day.
Zoe looked across at her friends as they sat on the table outside the front of the cafe. ‘Can you believe it’s been a whole year?’
Ellie shook her head. ‘It doesn’t seem real, does it?’
‘So much has happened.’ Pippa rocked Henry in her arms as he stirred. ‘One year old. I feel l
ike he was only born yesterday.’
Imogen nodded as she rocked the pushchair with her foot. ‘Tell me about it. These two certainly keep me young. I feel like I’ve blinked and they turned one!’
‘So what’s the plan for the next year, girls? We’ve managed to survive a whole year of being parents. We can do anything!’ Ellie was leaning against the wall and she shivered slightly from its cold surface.
‘Sleep would be nice. I’ve heard that some people get to do it every night! Maybe we should try it?’
‘Imogen, I don’t know how you do it with two. Henry is more than a handful!’
‘Alice has been amazing; I couldn’t do it without her. And Mum. She’s been great, too. She even offered to have them for a day whilst Alice and I celebrate our wedding anniversary.’
‘Who would’ve thought that would happen?’ Pippa sounded as gobsmacked as Imogen was when her mum had offered.
She gave a little laugh. ‘Don’t get me wrong, it’s been hard. This year has been a real rollercoaster and I don’t think Mum is totally on board with things, but she’s certainly trying. That’s all I can ask for at the moment, hey?’
‘I’m really pleased you sorted things out.’ Zoe made a point of looking at Ellie. ‘It really helps when you’ve got family on your side, hey?’
‘I know what you’re doing, Zoe.’ Ellie chipped in.
‘I’m just glad I don’t have Jason’s mum in my ear any more. Can you imagine what she would be like with Henry? I wouldn’t be able to do anything right.’
‘Have you heard from him lately?’
‘No, he’s not interested in Henry now that he gets to play happy families with Jenna and the little one. But do you know what? I’m glad. I don’t want Henry growing up thinking that the way his dad behaves is the right way to treat people. I want him to grow up and be a gentleman.’ She smiled as she stroked down his nose.
‘Do you think you’ll tell him about his half-sister?’ Imogen leant over as Eliza stirred and replaced her dummy, which quietened her immediately.
‘Yeah, one day. I wouldn’t keep it from him. But I’m not in any rush to create a link with those three.’
‘I think we should also acknowledge the fact that, a year later, the business is going really well.’
Zoe groaned at her sister. ‘You only want to acknowledge it because it was your idea. There’s nothing like a bit of self-indulgence when it comes to praise, hey, Els?’ Zoe laughed, but inside, she couldn’t be prouder of what her sister had achieved. ‘You know, if you had said to me a couple of years ago that my sister would be loving motherhood, in a relationship with Chris and heading up her own child-orientated business – I would’ve been willing to bet money that it was a joke. But yet, here we are. You are totally rocking motherhood.’
‘Thanks, Zo. I would be inclined to agree with you there – children and settling down was never on my to-do list of life.’ She glanced through the café window at Chris, who was sitting with Scarlett on his lap and eating cake, chatting to Zoe’s boyfriend, Gregg. ‘But I wouldn’t change it for the world.’
Zoe jumped up and retrieved a bottle of champagne from just inside the door of the café before returning outside. ‘Here, take one.’ She held out the glasses to her friends. ‘In celebration of the company being such a huge success – here’s to many more years of trading.’ She topped up the first glass.
‘And friendship,’ Imogen added, holding her glass out.
‘And getting rid of losers!’ Pippa held hers out.
‘And a happy birthday to Scarlett, Henry, Eliza and Beth,’ Ellie smiled, ‘who are the luckiest children alive to have wonderful parents like us.’
‘Hear, hear!’ the girls chorused and clinked their glasses together. Ellie noticed that Zoe didn’t have a glass. ‘Where’s yours.’
Zoe smiled. ‘I want to add one more toast.
The girls’ attention all turned on her. She took a deep breath.
To new beginnings. For us, for our children and … she rubbed her tummy, to this little one.
Acknowledgements
Firstly, thank you to Margaret James and Sue Moorcroft, both of whom played a huge part in my writing journey. Without their unwavering support and encouragement, I wouldn’t be the writer I am today. Margaret, thank you for being the very first person to tell me I could write. Your guidance as my tutor at the London School of Journalism was priceless and I’ll never forget how much time and patience you put into my early work. And Sue, what can I say? Thank you on so many levels for being by my side over the years. For making me laugh, mentoring me and, most of all, for being my friend.
Heartfelt thanks to my amazing friends, The Romaniacs. Catherine, Celia, Debbie, Jan, Laura, Sue and Vanessa – you mean more to me than I could ever put into words. Thank you for keeping me going through the hard times and shouting the loudest through the high times. You aren’t just my friends, you are my sisters, and I love you with all my heart.
To my agent, Kate Nash, who took me under her wing back in 2013 and made me part of her agency family. Thank you for always being on the other end of the phone when I need you and for listening to my constant questions, queries and wonderings. For not shouting at me when I text early in the morning and late at night, and for teaching me how to believe in myself.
A huge thank you to my editor, Charlotte Ledger, for believing in me and taking a chance. It feels like a million years ago that we were sitting in that tea shop, eating cake and discussing this book. And now it’s here! Thanks also to the rest of the team at HarperCollins for making my dream come true and to Emily Ruston for her excellent editing skills – you really helped me bring this story alive! Thanks for being so patient!
To my online support network of friends on social media, thank you for always being there – you rock and totally keep me sane!
And to my ‘real life’ friends. Thank you for not shouting at me when I had to cancel things because I had deadlines to meet, and for not disturbing me when I needed to write. Special thank you to Kayleigh, Hannah and Tarnya for pulling me through the hard times and making me laugh when I felt like giving up, and my university friends for keeping me smiling when I had to juggle a million things each semester!
To the staff at Anglia Ruskin University – thank you for the amazing support you give me regarding my writing. It might not be what I am studying at ARU, but you give me time, encouragement and endless opportunities to support my writing passion and, for that, I am incredibly grateful.
To Michelle and Anneka – thank you for sharing your story with me. Sending love and hugs to you both, and especially to little Jesse. Keep fighting!
And finally, to my family. My husband, Craig, and my daughter, Gracie. Thank you for understanding and putting up with my huge workload. And most of all, thank you for always being there.
About the Author
Lucie Wheeler lives in Essex with her husband and daughter, and her English Bull Terrier, Dame, who loves to sit under Lucie’s desk as she writes and keep her feet warm. Never one to sit still, Lucie always has lots going on in her life. Currently, she’s writing her novels alongside studying for a degree. She is also one of The Romaniacs.
Lucie loves reading, spending time with friends and eating chocolate – when she gets to do all three, she’s a very happy lady!
@lucie_wheeler
www.facebook.com/luciewheelerpage
www.luciewheeler.co.uk
About HarperImpulse
HarperImpulse is an exciting new range of romance fiction brought to you from the women’s fiction team at HarperCollins. Our aim is to break new talent from debut authors and import the hottest trends from the US, bringing you the very best in romance. Whether that is through short reads for your mobile phone or epic sagas that span the generations we want to proudly publish romance fiction that gets everybody talking.
Romance readers, come and meet the team at our website www.harperimpulseromance.com, our Facebook page www.facebook.com/Harpe
rImpulse or follow us @HarperImpulse!
Writers, we are simply looking for good stories! So, what are you waiting for? To submit, e-mail us at [email protected].
About the Publisher
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street
Sydney, NSW 2000, Australia
http://www.harpercollins.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Canada
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Toronto, ON, M4W, 1A8, Canada
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New Zealand
HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand) Limited
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Auckland, New Zealand
http://www.harpercollins.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London, SE1 9GF
http://www.harpercollins.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
195 Broadway
New York, NY 10007
http://www.harpercollins.com
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