The Last Chronicle of Barset

by Anthony Trollope

  CHAPTER XXIX.

  MISS LILY DALE'S LOGIC.

  Lady Julia De Guest always lunched at one exactly, and it was notmuch past twelve when John Eames made his appearance at the cottage.He was of course told to stay, and of course said that he would stay.It had been his purpose to lunch with Lady Julia; but then he hadnot expected to find Lily Dale at the cottage. Lily herself wouldhave been quite at her ease, protected by Lady Julia, and somewhatprotected also by her own powers of fence, had it not been that Gracewas there also. But Grace Crawley, from the moment that she had heardthe description of the gentleman who looked out of the window withhis glass in his eye, had by no means been at her ease. Lily saw atonce that she could not be brought to join in any conversation, andboth John and Lady Julia, in their ignorance of the matter in hand,made matters worse.

  "So that was Major Grantly?" said John. "I have heard of him before,I think. He is a son of the old archdeacon, is he not?"

  "I don't know about old archdeacon," said Lady Julia. "The archdeaconis the son of the old bishop, whom I remember very well. And it isnot so very long since the bishop died, either."

  "I wonder what he's doing at Allington?" said Johnny.

  "I think he knows my uncle," said Lily.

  "But he's going to call on your mother," he said. Then Johnnyremembered that the major had said something as to knowing MissCrawley, and for the moment he was silent.

  "I remember when they talked of making the son a bishop also," saidLady Julia.

  "What;--this same man who is now a major?" said Johnny.

  "No, you goose. He is not the son he is the grandson. They weregoing to make the archdeacon a bishop, and I remember hearing thathe was terribly disappointed. He is getting to be an old man now,I suppose; and yet, dear me, how well I remember his father."

  "He didn't look like a bishop's son," said Johnny.

  "How does a bishop's son look?" Lily asked.

  "I suppose he ought to have some sort of clerical tinge about him;but this fellow had nothing of that kind."

  "But then this fellow, as you call him," said Lily, "is only the sonof an archdeacon."

  "That accounts for it, I suppose," said Johnny.

  But during all this time Grace did not say a word, and Lily perceivedit. Then she bethought herself as to what she had better do. Grace,she knew, could not be comfortable where she was. Nor, indeed, wasit probable that Grace would be very comfortable in returning home.There could not be much ease for Grace till the coming meetingbetween her and Major Grantly should be over. But it would be betterthat Grace should go back to Allington at once; and better also,perhaps, for Major Grantly that it should be so. "Lady Julia," shesaid, "I don't think we'll mind stopping for lunch to-day."

  "Nonsense, my dear; you promised."

  "I think we must break our promise; I do indeed. You mustn't beangry with us." And Lily looked at Lady Julia, as though there weresomething which Lady Julia ought to understand, which she, Lily,could not quite explain. I fear that Lily was false, and intended herold friend to believe that she was running away because John Eameshad come there.

  "But you will be famished," said Lady Julia.

  "We shall live through it," said Lily.

  "It is out of the question that I should let you walk all the wayhere from Allington and all the way back without taking something."

  "We shall just be home in time for lunch if we go now," said Lily."Will not that be best, Grace?"

  Grace hardly knew what would be best. She only knew that MajorGrantly was at Allington, and that he had come thither to see her.The idea of hurrying back after him was unpleasant to her, and yetshe was so flurried that she felt thankful to Lily for taking heraway from the cottage. The matter was compromised at last. Theyremained for half an hour, and ate some biscuits and pretended todrink a glass of wine, and then they started. John Eames, who intruth believed that Lily Dale was running away from him, was byno means well pleased, and when the girls were gone, did not makehimself so agreeable to his old friend as he should have done. "Whata fool I am to come here at all," he said, throwing himself into anarm-chair as soon as the front door was closed.

  "That's very civil to me, John!"

  "You know what I mean, Lady Julia. I am a fool to come near her,until I can do so without thinking more of her than I do of any othergirl in the county."

  "I don't think you have anything to complain of as yet," said LadyJulia, who had in some sort perceived that Lily's retreat had been onGrace's account, and not on her own. "It seems to me that Lily wasvery glad to see you, and when I told her that you were coming tostay here, and would be near them for some days, she seemed to bequite pleased;--she did indeed."

  "Then why did she run away the moment I came in?" said Johnny.

  "I think it was something you said about that man who has gone toAllington."

  "What difference can the man make to her? The truth is, I despisemyself;--I do indeed, Lady Julia. Only think of my meeting Crosbie atdinner the other day, and his having the impertinence to come up andshake hands with me."

  "I suppose he didn't say anything about what happened at thePaddington Station?"

  "No; he didn't speak about that. I wish I knew whether she cares forhim still. If I thought she did, I would never speak another word toher,--I mean about myself. Of course I am not going to quarrel withthem. I am not such a fool as that." Then Lady Julia tried to comforthim, and succeeded so far that he was induced to eat the mince vealthat had been intended for the comfort and support of the two youngladies who had run away.

  "Do you think it is he?" were the first words which Grace said whenthey were fairly on their way back together.

  "I should think it must be. What other man can there be, of thatsort, who would be likely to come to Allington to see you?"

  "His coming is not likely. I cannot understand that he should come.He let me leave Silverbridge without seeing me,--and I thought thathe was quite right."

  "And I think he is quite right to come here. I am very glad he hascome. It shows that he has really something like a heart inside him.Had he not come, or sent, or written, or taken some step before thetrial comes on, to make you know that he was thinking of you, Ishould have said that he was as hard,--as hard as any other man thatI ever heard of. Men are so hard! But I don't think he is, now. Iam beginning to regard him as the one chevalier sans peur et sansreproche, and to fancy that you ought to go down on your knees beforehim, and kiss his highness's shoebuckle. In judging of men one's mindvacillates so quickly between the scorn which is due to a false manand the worship which is due to a true man." Then she was silent fora moment, but Grace said nothing, and Lily continued, "I tell youfairly, Grace, that I shall expect very much from you now."

  "Much in what way, Lily?"

  "In the way of worship. I shall not be content that you should merelylove him. If he has come here, as he must have done, to say that themoment of the world's reproach is the moment he has chosen to ask youto be his wife, I think that you will owe him more than love."

  "I shall owe him more than love, and I will pay him more than love,"said Grace. There was something in the tone of her voice as she spokewhich made Lily stop her and look up into her face. There was a smilethere which Lily had never seen before, and which gave a beauty toher which was wonderful to Lily's eyes. Surely this lover of Grace'smust have seen her smile like that, and therefore had loved her andwas giving such wonderful proof of his love. "Yes," continued Grace,standing and looking at her friend, "you may stare at me, Lily, butyou may be sure that I will do for Major Grantly all the good that Ican do for him."

  "What do you mean, Grace?"

  "Never mind what I mean. You are very imperious in managing your ownaffairs, and you must let me be so equally in mine."

  "But I tell you everything."

  "Do you suppose that if--if--if in real truth it can possibly be thecase that Major Grantly shall have come here to offer me his handwhen we are all ground down into the dust, as we are, do you think
that I will let him sacrifice himself? Would you?"

  "Certainly. Why not? There will be no sacrifice. He will be askingfor that which he wishes to get; and you will be bound to give it tohim."

  "If he wants it, where is his nobility? If it be as you say, he willhave shown himself noble, and his nobility will have consisted inthis, that he has been willing to take that which he does not want,in order that he may succour one whom he loves. I also will succourone whom I love, as best I know how." Then she walked on quicklybefore her friend, and Lily stood for a moment thinking before shefollowed her. They were now on a field-path, by which they wereenabled to escape the road back to Allington for the greater part ofthe distance, and Grace had reached a stile, and had clambered overit before Lily had caught her.

  "You must not go away by yourself," said Lily.

  "I don't wish to go away by myself."

  "I want you to stop a moment and listen to me. I am sure you arewrong in this,--wrong for both your sakes. You believe that he lovesyou?"

  "I thought he did once; and if he has come here to see me, I supposehe does still."

  "If that be the case, and if you also love him--"

  "I do. I make no mystery about that to you. I do love him with all myheart. I love him to-day, now that I believe him to be here, and thatI suppose I shall see him, perhaps this very afternoon. And I lovedhim yesterday, when I thought that I should never see him again. Ido love him. I do. I love him so well that I will never do him aninjury."

  "That being so, if he makes you an offer you are bound to accept it.I do not think that you have an alternative."

  "I have an alternative, and I shall use it. Why don't you take mycousin John?"

  "Because I like somebody else better. If you have got as good areason I won't say another word to you."

  "And why don't you take that other person?"

  "Because I cannot trust his love; that is why. It is not very kind ofyou, opening my sores afresh, when I am trying to heal yours."

  "Oh, Lily, am I unkind,--unkind to you, who have been so generous tome?"

  "I'll forgive you all that and a deal more if you will only listento me and try to take my advice. Because this major of yours does agenerous thing, which is for the good of you both,--the infinite goodof both of you,--you are to emulate his generosity by doing a thingwhich will be for the good of neither of you. That is about it. Yes,it is, Grace. You cannot doubt that he has been meaning this for sometime past; and of course, if he looks upon you as his own,--and Idaresay, if the whole truth is to be told, he does--"

  "But I am not his own."

  "Yes, you are, in one sense; you have just said so with a great dealof energy. And if it is so,--let me see, where was I?"

  "Oh, Lily, you need not mind where you were."

  "But I do mind, and I hate to be interrupted in my arguments. Yes,just that. If he saw his cow sick, he'd try to doctor the cow in hersickness. He sees that you are sick, and of course he comes to yourrelief."

  "I am not Major Grantly's cow."

  "Yes, you are."

  "Nor his dog, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is his,except--except, Lily, the dearest friend that he has on the face ofthe earth. He cannot have a friend that will go further for him thanI will. He will never know how far I will go to serve him. You don'tknow his people. Nor do I know them. But I know what they are. Hissister is married to a marquis."

  "What has that to do with it?" said Lily, sharply. "If she weremarried to an archduke, what difference would that make?"

  "And they are proud people--all of them--and rich; and they live withhigh persons in the world."

  "I didn't care though they lived with the royal family, and had thePrince of Wales for their bosom friend. It only shows how much betterhe is than they are."

  "But think what my family is,--how we are situated. When my fatherwas simply poor I did not care about it, because he has been born andbred a gentleman. But now he is disgraced. Yes, Lily, he is. I ambound to say so, at any rate to myself, when I am thinking of MajorGrantly; and I will not carry that disgrace into a family which wouldfeel it so keenly as they would do." Lily, however, went on with herarguments, and was still arguing when they turned the corner of thelane, and came upon Lily's uncle and the major himself.