by Kell Inkston
"D-" Colette takes a deep breath. "Did you see it?"
"Yup, it was real alright. You're not crazy, well, not totally crazy."
"How could you stand it?"
Luisoix scoffs pridefully, trying his best to deescalate the situation, as we all know he's definitely not good with serious stuff. "Remember that, as a seasort, my soul is more or less 'corrupted' by various influences. Spotting one of those dicks isn’t the same thing for me as it is to you, a pure human."
In a weirdly sentimental moment, Colette doesn’t lift herself from Luisoix’s grasp, but just rests her back against his side. “What are they?”
“Seriously?”
“What?”
Luisoix scoffs again. “Damn, you stupid, girl! It’s an eldritch.”
“But I’ve seen them before.”
“No, those were players, fakes. The one down there was the genuine article. It won’t be coming up here, probably, so we should be safe.”
Colette’s gaze does not even twitch from the door. “So why was it… like that?”
He smirks. “What, incomprehensible?”
"Is that the word for it?"
"People use lots of phrases to explain the phenomena." He clears his throat officially. "Really super scary, spooky as hell, 'wow' that's weird, hyper unnerving, just the gosh-darn scariest thing around, ma-"
Colette chuckles softly. "Really?"
"No. 'Extra-Psychological Horror' is one of the terms they really use. It's a word for stuff that's so scary that the human mind literally has a failure to analyze it and shit. When you deal with these fuckers you gotta avoid acknowledging them at all, just realize you're dealing one and avoid it with your senses as best you can. I haven’t the slightest fucking clue why they exist, but there you have it."
She sighs and begins to push herself up from Luisoix to her feet. "How am I supposed to kill something like that?"
Luisoix tries to help her to her feet, but gets nudged by her elbow instead. "You don't," he says.
"What?"
"Just as I said, dork. You can't kill them by means you... well, not by means you're capable of in any way."
Colette finally tears her gaze from the door and focuses in on Luisoix. "It seems like everyone has something that I can't do nowadays. Being a person... a girl, it's a curse."
Luisoix frowns as his scaled brow raises. He motions her to follow him into one of the hall's rooms. They find themselves in a common storage closet. Luisoix sits on a box and motions for her to do the same. "Sure, but life itself is a curse, and I guarantee you that you have one of the best hands of cards in the whole damn crew. Most of us can never go back, but you can. Being able to stand up to an eldritch, it has its value if you plan on doing this sort of thing for the rest of your life, but you'll be giving up something way more important if you do."
Colette sighs. "So, I'll just be weak forever?"
Luisoix taps her on the shoulder. "You're not weak at all, Colette, but you’re not the Eversea’s kind of strong. I won't lie and say you're strong enough to beat... whatever that asshole is that you want to kill back where you come from. I don't know who it is, but if he could do what you told me, then you don't have a chance as you are."
She peers into his black eyes directly. "Then what do I do? How do I kill him? Magic?"
Luisoix takes a moment to listen for anyone outside and then turns back to her. For the first time in those dark, apparently soulness eyes of his, she can see a spark of a person; whatever was there before he became what he is now. "That's only one possibility. You'll find out here on The Eversea, and really the Omniverse in general that people have pursued various forms of mastery, and yet reach comparable greatnesses. Think about your gun, don't you imagine that those high tech O.E.L. guys would have better ones?"
Colette squints an eye. "Sure?"
"Because they've had lots of time to run around taking discoveries from others, and hole up and make their own ideas. Around here one of their rifle's is about as fierce as The Cap's."
"But aren't there millions of O.E.L. people?"
"Yup, and a huge chunk of them have rifles that can punch through The Nocturna's hull with a single shot."
Colette takes a moment to acquaint herself with the concept of whole nations existing that are far superior to anything they have. “Alright.”
"Right, and the people that lead them is a dick-ass named Ywn. He’s pushed his genius to such heights that people actually say he's immortal. Don't be fooled, he knows tons of magic too, but what he's known for best is his grasp of technology."
Colette's looking down- it's sinking in. "Gotcha."
"Now think about eldritch shit. Who do you think is the big dog with that?"
"The... Captain?"
Luisoix hums. "No, definitely not. The Captain's... like, I'm not even sure if he'd be worth explaining, probably because you wouldn't even believe me. He's so outfield that most people don't even have a comparable concept for what he is. Besides, there's no way you can be what he is, and if you were ever offered the chance, the only thing you should do is run in the opposite direction."
Colette squints an eye. "Why's that?"
Luisoix crosses his arms as he looks over some of the labels for things on the hardwood shelves. "I wasn't foolin' around when I said he's not worth explaining. Not just because you'd have trouble wrapping your head around it, but I guarantee you that you'd treat him way different. The Cap’… he’s… he’s not supposed to exist."
Now Colette's really curious. "Come on, tell me. He's my Captain, I don't care about his history."
Luisoix has a knowing, wry smirk. "Pertalaine said the exact same thing down in engineering one day. I made the mistake of telling her before she was ready, so I won't be making that mistake again. He is a freak of freaks."
"Bu-"
"I digress. Captain's not what we'd call eldritch. Actually the big scary person around The Eversea is is," he looks to her with a patronizing grin and mock surprise, "a lady, just like youuu~"
"Fuck you, Luisoix."
"You too, kid. Her name's Mallinou: The Drowned"
"... Mal-ee-no?"
"Right. By this point she's not really recognizable as a woman anymore. The thing about giving oneself to eldritch forces is that they'll always take back more than they give. She's basically a husk of what she was in the mortal sense, but she's strong as fuck…. We'll be hanging tight down here for a little bit, but when it's time to pop out and kick in teeth maybe you'll catch a glimpse of Pertalaine fighting. She's impressive, but Mallinou is in a completely different dimension. What's really surprising is how she's maintained so much of her sanity over the years."
"Cool."
"Alright, here's a big one. Magic, like the straight up stuff. Who do you think?"
Colette hums. "Straight up?"
"Like, nothing crazy like necromancy or alchemistry or any of that. Just spewing out lightning and shit from your hands."
Colette draws in with fascination. "Lightning, from a person's hands?"
"Yeah, apparently way more advanced than people think."
"Okay, so I guess... how about that Ywn guy?"
"He's high up there, but he usually uses it for the sake of augmenting his technology- calls it 'magitech'."
She crosses her arms. "I've heard the word. What's it mean?"
Luisoix snaps back to Colette. "You serious?"
"What?"
"Magical Technology?"
Colette inflates her cheeks awkwardly. "Mmm, right." She takes a breath in thought. "So what about that overlord?"
"Which one?"
"The one I'm trying to kill?"
"Do you know his name?"
Colette sighs. "No."
"Then he's probably not a big deal. I'll give you a pass on this one. There's actually a ton of names in magic. Probably the biggest is ‘Overgod’ Eternity.” Luisoix says “Overgod” with more than a little sarcasm involved.
"Yo! I saw him on that television box!"
&nb
sp; "Yeah, he owns an entire plane of existence, and he’s in charge of multiple, so he's sort of a big deal. Second to him in popularity is definitely Chaos."
"So why do they both have words for names?"
Luisoix smirks. "You have a word for a name."
"You know what I mean!" she snaps back.
"Sure... They're just titles. Obviously Eternity wasn't called Eternity when he was born, he probably just had a normal name, like you or me. It was their deeds that got them recognized as legends."
"Alright, so what's your point in telling me about all these people?"
He nods his head down in reminiscence. "Once, The Captain told me over a few drinks that he knew Overlord Eternity personally."
"Wh-really? But isn't the ruler of like... literally a gazillion people?"
Luisoix smirks. "Yup, and they're friends."
"Shit..."
"And he told me something interesting."
Colette draws in with a pointed gaze.
"He told me that Eternity is nothing more than a heavily magical, heavily-enhanced human. Magic, for him is more of a stretch than a leap; Eternity can go back to his human ‘level’ most any time he wants to."
She squints an eye. "But, how?"
"Because he focused on making himself better as he is, rather than borrowing power from something that would ask for something in return. Each time Eternity improved, it was because he gained something. He’s never lost anything. Love him or hate him, he’s been around alive thousands of years for a good reason. He cares about what he is."
"So... he got to where he is today because he didn't trade things."
Luisoix adjusts his spot on the box for comfort. "Right, like his soul, which is a pretty normal currency around a shithole like this…. What I mean by all this is that you can beat the overlord without having to sell yourself short. There's great power to those who have the patience and character to learn magic, but the instant gratification of power is everywhere. Be wise, kid… don’t be like… us." He says that last part with his eyes pointed straight at her; a deliriously focused, almost human gaze.
The two stare one another down, and Colette realizes that, for the very first time, that Luisoix's actually an alright guy. "Okay..." She looks away the same time he does, both getting awkward impulses from discussing secret things in closets. "Thanks."
"No problem."
Colette sighs. "So how are we going to do this? The Captain only briefed me up to getting the eye, but he didn't know about the eldritch, I guess."
Luisoix grins on the side of his face that's turned away from her. "Yeah, no one could've known that this so far gone."
"She acted pretty human, how's she able to do all of this?"
Luisoix shrugs. "Any combination of witchcraft, alchemy, runescripting and managraphy, necromancy, you name it. She's a real jack of all trades when it comes to fairy sparkles, so-"
" 'Fairy sparkles'?"
"Magic."
Colette smiles crassly. "Right."
"Anyway, she's somehow figured out how to get eldritch goons to do stuff for her. No idea if that was the only one that you met, but we'll be finding out soon enough." Luisoix leans back into a pile of stable-feeling boxes.
"So?" Colette asks.
Luisoix, his hands behind his head raises a brow. "What?"
"What are we doing now?"
"O-" Luisoix jolts back up. "Oh, right! We're waiting." He laughs, crashing back down to his seat.
Colette leans back as well. "Waiting? Is this an or-" she falls backward. Turns out she chose a fairly light panel to lean against and she tumbled through it.
Luisoix's eyes are closed and his body's relaxed when Colette pulls herself back up just seconds later, but he's grinning from earhole to earhole.
"Not funny, asshole."
"We're waiting 'cause The Captain said so. By his estimates Irefall's gonna try to get us all murdered at once to prevent any unexpected garbage from coming up, like us trying to escape, obviously. She doesn't know, though, that this is working perfectly well."
Colette's gaze springs up. "So... it's okay I didn't get the eye?"
"We have a backup."
"Yeah? What is it?"
Luisoix's expression is mixed. "Grancis."
Her face doesn't quite register. "... Gran...cis?"
"Yeah, your friend."
"Why can't we just go and get it?"
"Security's tightening up. If we went for the eye now we might get our hands on it, but the second we did we'd be filled with lead. Again, we need a diversion."
Colette's gaze sharpens. "Then why did he send me in the first place?"
"Obviously we wanted to test the waters, and I'm here to find out what happened."
Colette's expression is blank. "Gotcha... so the real attempt will be during the big distraction."
"Finally!" He lays back. "Thought I had to explain that at least billion more times."
"W-well you didn't really explain it, man. You just sort of, I dunno, hinted at it?"
Luisoix, now perfectly re-relaxed just shakes his head. "Chill out. Just wait."
Colette inhales to say something else, but instead just finds a spot more capable of supporting her weight, and leans in. She has a lot of questions, but it seems like they'll have to wait.
Boris does his "Very of the Besting"... I said that right, didn't I?
The large Irefall manor kitchen is a madhouse of dishes and the clanking of utensils:
"Now sprinkle these on!" Cooking Minion shouts to a flamingly dark Jim.
"Hell yeah, got it!" Jim resounds.
"Here... here... oh! and here, of course," Jacqui directs to Grancis.
"Yes sir!" Grancis squeaks with enthusiasm.
"YOU MUST BE OF THE RETRIEVING IT OF THE OVENINGS, POLICEFLESH!"
"Uh... got it!" Martaine kind of… agrees with Boris?
With unity and poise the six craft dish after dish, readying for the feast and the contest of favor that will reward the best flavor.
In smashing, slicing, cutting, dicing and boiling, each chef, with the help of their trusty (with the exception of Jim) assistant, they craft true art in the pot and pan, the trey and the plate.
Of course, the verbal exchange isn't quite as graceful.
"And lay these across, just like a stupid, unprofessional lobster on a rock, ready to be smashed with a mighty hammer!" Jacqui says with a grin, cutting ingredients and snapping his gaze over to Boris the second he finishes his sentence.
"YES, BE OF THE BASTING. BE COVERING OF THE FOX LIKE THE COVERING OF THE BLOOD!" Boris screams out, pulverizing the already-tender fox meat into smithereens.
"What?" Martaine asks, pretty sure this is Boris' way of telling him to be brushing the meat with sauce, and does so, taking a long pause to see if Boris stops him.
The frantic Boris inhales violently. "BE OF THE FASTER, OFFICERMEAT! WE ARE NOT HAVING OF THE TIMIMG TO BE OF THE PUTTING UP WITH THIS SHIT!"
Martaine hurries it up as Grancis snickers - she's never heard Boris curse before. Boris watches him with those terrifying, obsidian-black stalk eyes of his, and moves Martaine aside. "What's wrong?"
"YOU ARE OF THE TOO SLOW. BE LEAVING THIS UP TO THE ME AND BE GETTING THE BASILINGS FROM THE GRANCIS FLESH."
Martaine turns to Grancis, who notices instantly but keeps herself busy.
He takes a breath, and nods. "Alright, one second, sir."
Officer Martaine Vangair steps across to a scowling Jacqui and a smirking Grancis. "Pardon, could I borrow some of the-"
"No," Grancis says in a snooty, utterly playful tone.
Jacqui does not catch the emphasis, and is enthusiastic about it. "You tell them, assistant! No one takes our ingredients!"
Martaine raises a brow in confusion, but then nods once he figures her out. "Are you sure?" Martaine asks, now beside her.
"Yup," she says, tossing a pan of shrimp with trained dexterity.
Her curling smile is venomously cute, he thinks.
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"Are you sure I couldn't just..." He leans in. "Take it?!" He bolts for the basil, on the side opposite for her.
With a laugh she angles into him, pushing back with an elbow to his chest. "No you absolutely may not, officer! This basil is not for security!"
They share a youthful laugh just as Jacqui lets down his knife's sheath upon Martaine's head. "Officer! You will back away from my assistant this instant!" He yells this about three times as his ears ridge in attack mode.
Martaine chuckles with Grancis as she speedily passes over the basil. Martaine nudges her back once more and returns to Boris.
Jacqui sighs. "Assistant."
Grancis doesn't look away from Martaine this time, but rather stares on at his fine locks of hair and his protruding chin. "Yes, sir?"
"You can stare all you like once we're done with this last pair of dishes, besides, admiring the losing team isn't graceful form."
Grancis' smirk widens to a smile, and nods. "Yes, sir."
Amidst Boris' droning instructions to Martaine, Jacqui's occasional pretentious sighs, and Cooking Minion and Evil Jim's incredibly motivated and noisy cooking party, Grancis feels lifted up. Moments like these still exist, even on The Eversea- she almost feels like she belongs, and unlike last night, it doesn't worry her all that much, especially with Martaine so close to her.
The hours are worked away, and Martaine takes his leave - says he has to "make sure the security detail's tracking." Next to leave is Jim, who, after regaining his mortal composure, decides his duty as chef is done and goes off to enjoy the party.
Grancis' heart begins picking up the pace, realizing that soon, very soon, she'll have to play her part. The poor dear doesn't doesn't feel ready, but with everyone she has on her side, she's certain they'll pull through, the day will be saved, and everyone will get out alive.
The Captain would tell her not to be so unrealistically optimistic.
A Sunset upon The Captain and The Wonderful Dinner
Hours go by of chatting, games, dancing, drinking and merriment. After The Captain plays chess with about five different people, losing only once to that robotic outlaw Asegai chap, it seems like most of the day before the dinner has already come and gone. As a new set of guests, ones who didn't care enough to be early, arrive, The Captain comes to the realization that he could have spent these short few hours better. He only has so much time with her remaining, and while The Captain in his mind would be the life of the party, he's known long enough that he's a bit of a recluse when it comes to social events. The Captain's not really a flashy... whatever he is, but Pertalaine is certainly so. They spend hours apart in the same ballroom.
