But his ears perk every time Victoria speaks.
“Hey.”
I turn, seeing Victoria. But Emma is nowhere to be seen. Victoria reaches past me to pet Sentinel whose tail begins to thump softly. She’s so close to me I can smell her clean hair, her fragrant heat and feel the warmth radiating off her skin.
It’s fucking intoxicating. Every touch is torture at this point. Even her hug, her gentle embrace is leaving my body lost and confused. I want her. I need her. I crave her in a way I’ve never experienced before.
But she’s not mine. And I’m pretty sure she still hates me.
As if she knows I’m curious, she says, “Emma is settling the new mare in.” Her brown eyes meet mine and I know I’m not going to like what comes next. “You could have told me,” she says, her body moving closer to mine as she inches between me and the open door.
“Told you what?” I ask. But I’ve got a pretty good idea what she’s asking me.
And the expression on her face tells me she knows it too. “About you and Emma. About Emma and Kieran.”
The mention of his name is enough to make my whole body tense up. Victoria’s eyes assess me, my stance and posture, and the change before meeting mine again. “Why do you hate him?” she asks softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
I’m surprised she got all of that information from my reaction to his name. “He killed my father,” I say, the words burning like bitter acid on my tongue.
“What?” she asks, her face filled with shock.
“Kieran is my brother,” I clarify so it’s less of a shocking bit of information. It’s not like he’s a total stranger who walked in, shot my dad and ran off.
“What happened?” she asks, her eyes slashing back and forth over mine as her whole body stills. The wind kicks up and I smell sweet grasses, horses, and a hint of spring.
I shake my head, feeling that same old burning rage churning in my guts. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I say.
She studies me a moment more, her eyes searching mine as if she’s reading the answer there. Finally, she dips her head in a nod. “Okay,” she says, her tone gentle. “Are you ready to go?” she asks and I feel her concern in every syllable. But it’s not overbearing. She’s not baby talking me. She’s not acting weird, merely understanding and empathetic.
It’s a welcome attitude. Perhaps her struggle and her painful past have made her better equipped to handle these kinds of heartbreak.
“I am,” I say, looking over at the house. Emma has my number. If she needs anything, she knows she can text me. And I don’t want to be here when Kieran gets home from work.
I help Victoria into the truck before walking around to my side.
When I’m in and settled, Victoria opens her mouth as if to speak, but stops. And I hesitate, sensing it’s an important conversation. She peeks at me out of the corner of her eyes, then seems to decide to give it a go, albeit with more than a hint of fear in her voice.
“Do you love her?”
Chapter 17
Victoria
There’s an odd distance between us as he pulls down the driveway. I wonder if it’s because I asked if he loves her. Or maybe it’s because he said yes.
It hurts to hear that he does, but I’m not really sure why. I mean, it’s not like he and I are falling in love. I mean, he’s not a bad person, but there are just too many differences between us.
Still, it aches right behind my ribs.
We’re hardly beyond the house when a truck rips into the drive. I feel Kyle tense up beside me. He hits the breaks and the other truck halts before us, blocking our escape. My heart begins to thunder in my chest as I glance over at Kyle.
His jaw is rippling like he’s clenching his teeth and I see muscles bunching up under his shirt. He’s tense and angry, and I know why the second the other guy gets out of the truck. The family resemblance between them is unmistakable.
This is the brother. The one Kyle feels killed his father and stole the love of his life. What a twisted shit storm.
The brother, Kieran, stops beside Kyle’s door and I wait, holding my breath. Kyle stares forward, refusing to even look at his brother or lower the window. And something in me rears up, some long dead fighter in me is ready to do battle.
I open my door and slide out to the dirt road. With quick steps, I circle the front of the truck and shove my hand toward the new guy.
“I’m Victoria,” I say as he looks me up and down, his eyes confused. I know he’s sizing me up, but I don’t give a damn. “We were here dropping off a sick horse with Emma. Now we’re going.” My voice is firm.
Kieran glances from me to his brother, who’s now opening the door and getting out. And Kieran’s gaze sweeps back to me, a sudden smile lighting up his harsh features. He elbows an unimpressed Kyle, who steps back a pace, his impassive features offering nothing to his feelings. Nothing but tight control as he looks past his brother, past me, past this moment.
“She’s cute,” Kieran says, and I see Kyle lock on him with a stare that’s all silent threats. And Kieran’s quick to amend. “Jesus, man. Can we pretend for a second that we’re brothers? That I’m trying to show you I’m glad you found someone?”
“I’m just a friend,” I say to Kieran in my chilliest voice. How dare he talk about me like I’m not even here?
“I’m sorry,” Kieran says, his voice suddenly tired. And I get it. He’s trying – however poorly – to repair whatever happened between him and his brother. But some things can’t be forgiven. I know that. And Kieran should know that.
“No worries,” I say, willing to give him the benefit of the doubt this time. But part of me wants to make sure I castrate him if he ever hurts Emma. She’s such a sweet girl, inside and out, I don’t want anyone to hurt her.
Hell, she’s the kind of person I wish I could call friend. There’s something so infectious about how happy she is despite the rough life she’s had that I admire. I wish I could be like her, I wish I could be okay even though life has been hard.
Kieran looks at me suddenly like he’s seeing me for the first time. And I realize why. He knows that I’m leverage against his brother. I can get him to change his mind, in Kieran’s eyes. I brace myself for the manipulation coming next, but Kieran suddenly powers down.
“Need help with anything?” he asks his brother, who’s still ignoring him like a stoic gargoyle.
Reeling from shock that he didn’t do what I expected, I answer for Kyle. “Move your truck? We’ve got a ton of stuff to do.”
Kieran nods, then glances at his brother again. “I’d still like to buy you that drink,” he says, and I sense very real emotion behind the words. But the offer of an olive branch seems to fall on deaf ears as Kyle continues to ignore him.
After a moment, Kieran sighs and heads back to his truck. I wave and head back to my side as Kyle settles back into the driver’s seat. We pass one another on the dirt road and I glance at Kyle. His jaw is working and I know he’s struggling with some inner demons.
After a moment, though, he turns to me. “Thank you,” he says, his voice tight with anger that I know isn’t directed at me.
I struggle internally. Part of me wants to believe that Kieran is being a good guy. I mean, he saw he could use me against Kyle, but he didn’t take the chance. He said the wrong things, sure, but they seemed like they were coming from a good place.
And I’m even more curious about whatever happened with their father.
Clearly it wasn’t actual murder. Or I assume Kieran would be in jail. But I have a feeling it’s some roundabout responsibility. Still, it’s none of my business.
“You’re allowed to be angry,” I say softly to no one in particular. “No matter what happened, or how. Your emotions have validity.” The words are what I have wished time and again that someone might say to me. Because they’re right and I know they are, but it’s hard to accept them when you’re the one saying them. From someone else’s lips, they feel like they hav
e more weight, more cogency.
And suddenly, I feel tears crowding, but I push them back. I put myself out there, both in what I’ve said to Kyle, but when I got out of the truck. I inserted myself into something I could have hidden from. Something I could have run from because it’s not my problem.
I stood up for someone. I took power in a situation. I wasn’t timid or scared, I actually fucking stood my ground in defense of a friend.
A friend.
Chapter 18
Kyle
I’d thought that stocking the fridge in the mother in law might drive a wedge between us, but Victoria has still asked to join me for every meal, and she even tried her hand at cooking. But with every passing day, Sentinel heals and regains strength.
He’s still not well enough to travel. As it is, his stitches seem to be straining and I worry I’ll have to restitch him. Too much activity will absolutely make them pop. But his ribs are mending. The X-ray I’d retaken show the bones coming together very well and the beginning of regrowth.
I’ve been on Victoria, reminding her to make sure he takes it easy. Now that he’s doing better, she’s asked if he can sleep beside her bed. I told her I’d talk to her about it tonight, over dinner.
After some work, I realized that I’d left her home with full access to my house all day. And with her truck available. It’s odd that I’ve never let even women I’m sleeping with such unfettered access to my personal space, but this girl who could be some criminal can come and go as she pleases.
“So how is the little lady today?” I hear Sam ask. And I hear Victoria respond.
“Good. Is Kyle here?” she asks, her sweet voice carrying back here. Sam responds as I try to focus on the little lamb on the table before me. In a moment the air becomes statically charged and I know I’m not alone anymore.
But like she had that first day, Victoria is quiet and lets me focus. Still, every part of me wants to zero in on her. Before me, the lamb lets out a little protesting bleat.
“Almost done,” I tell him as I snip the end of the stitches I’d put in his flank. I scoop him off the table and set him on the floor. I glance at Victoria and see her face is lit up with joy as she looks at the little lamb wandering around, bleating.
“He’s so cute!” She says, looking up at me.
And I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut. She’s not the same scared, panicky girl I’d met only a week before. With every passing day, she calms down. She stops looking over her shoulder. She doesn’t see ghosts. Well, not as much, at least.
The part that surprises me, though, is that she hasn’t pushed me to tell her more about my father and Kieran.
You’re allowed to be angry. No matter what happened, or how. Your emotions have validity.
“Yeah,” I say, acknowledging her, “He tangled with a big mean fence. So a couple quick stitches and some shots.”
“Awww,” she says, squatting down to pet him. He leans on her, his little tail going nuts twitching back and forth.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, needing to know that she and Sentinel are alright. She beams up at me with a happy grin that’s an answer all in itself.
“Yep!” She sounds so happy and upbeat it warms my soul. “You about done?” she asks and I glance at the clock. It’s time to head out. Where did the day go?
“As soon as they pick him up, yes.” I say, looking at the lamb.
But Sam peeks her head in and corrects me. “Go home. I have paperwork to finish up, so I’ll be here when they get back.”
“Thanks Sam,” I say before heading out to close things up. It was an uneventful day, but a good one. And better now that Victoria is by my side.
“So, best part of the day?” she asks, looking up at me with those big, trusting brown eyes. And I suddenly want to kiss her.
But I don’t.
“You coming here to tell me it’s time to come home?” I say in a teasing tone.
She nods, as if accepting this answer. “Worst part?” she asks and I think about it a moment.
“Wiggly lamb butt in my face for five minutes.” Hands down, worst part.
“So why didn’t you sedate him?” she asks, “Or have Sam put him in a headlock. Or buttlock?” she amends, her face scrunching up as we walk out the front door with a nod to Sam, who’s watching us with a gleam in her eyes.
“He’s pretty young for sedation for a couple stitches,” I say, and she nods as if that makes perfect sense.
“What about you?” I ask, “Best part first.”
She thinks a moment and I enjoy her as we walk toward home. “Sentinel tried to play with Jax,” she says and I feel the need to tell her that he can’t do that yet. But Victoria holds up a finger and turns toward me, her eyes serious, “But I didn’t let him.”
I see the sparkle in her eyes and want to laugh that she knew I’d take on that admonishing role. “Worst part?” she says, her tone musing as we step inside the house. I close the door behind us and turn to her. “The worst part is that you didn’t kiss me when you wanted to.”
I turn to face her and see her playful smile. My confusion must be in my expression, because she rolls her eyes at me and grabs my hands. “Come on, you looked right at my lips with a longing that’s been in every damn romance movie since the beginning of romance movies.”
Her smile widens and I see her even, white teeth. And I pull her in.
Our lips meet and I feel her heart pounding against my ribs. My tongue tickles her lower lip as I ask for permission to enter. I’ll only ask once.
But she lets me in, her whole body giving over to me. She moans into my mouth and I swallow the sound, loving how sweet she tastes; like banana smoothies. With my arms around her, I can pretend we’re the only people in the world.
Until I hear the sound of dogs trotting over to see what we’re up to. She squeals and pulls away, laughing and staring at a perplexed Jax. “He just shoved his nose up my butt!” She says, her voice full of laughter.
But all I can think about is how I’d like to take her to bed, shove her down, and enjoy every bit of her.
And when her eyes meet mine, I know she’s reading my mind and every perverse, twisted through I’m having about her. Her lips part and her eyes widen as she studies me, suddenly still.
Chapter 19
Victoria
He’s staring at me like he wants to fuck me right here on the floor. And oh, my god, I want him to. His kiss was like touching an electric fence; tingles everywhere and the overwhelming sensation of not being able to breathe.
But I’m not ready for that. And I need to talk him down before he does something we both regret – or something we can’t come back from.
Gulping back the bit of fear I feel sparking through my chest, I remind him that we were going to have dinner. “Time to talk?”
And it’s like a light switch has been hit. He’s all calm and controlled as he turns away. Sentinel walks up to him and he pets my dog on the head like he’s greeting an old friend. “How are you, boy?” he asks, and Sentinel’s tail swishes back and forth.
I watch as he heads into the kitchen. “How can I help?” I ask, following him in.
“I’ve got this,” he says, his smile taking the sting out of the words. I lean on the counter and he glances at me, his eyes narrowing. And I know he’s thinking about deliciously wicked things.
“So I asked if Sentinel could sleep in my room with me?” I ask, hoping to get the conversation back on track.
Kyle begins to get some food together. He places a pan on his induction stovetop and it begins to heat as he grabs fish from the fridge.
“I mean, is it an issue?” I ask, wondering why it’s such a big deal if he sleeps here or in the house with Kyle.
And as I watch Kyle set out some spinach and check the pan, I try to figure him out. The sizzle of fish touching a hot pan startles me, but Kyle’s words seem to cancel out the beginnings of the flashback. “It is an issue, kind of.” He seems to be speaking slowly, as i
f considering his words while not wanting me to feel like he’s ignoring me or blowing me off.
How the hell did he do that? I assumed the panic attacks would only get worse, but he somehow managed to head that one off before it began. Like a sneeze, I felt it tickling my mind, but his voice managed to snap me out of it again.
I want to explore this, to know why, to research, but now doesn’t feel like the time to think about it. “How so?” I ask, feeling dazed.
“Well, if he’s in your room,” Kyle says, expertly seasoning the fish and turning it. “He might see me as a threat to you and try to protect you.”
I stare at his back, startled. I would never have thought about something like that, but it makes total sense. “Can’t argue that,” I say, then realize he’s holding something back. “What?” I ask, and he glances at me over his shoulder.
He’s quick to turn back to food and I watch him as he tosses the spinach in the pan and slides the fish along the edge all the way around the pan. I watch, fascinated. Once they’ve made the circle, he grabs stainless steel tongs and plates both fish steaks and divvies up the spinach that didn’t stick to the fish. It smells heavenly in here, and I’m excited to try the food.
I set the table quickly, while prodding him about holding back on me. “What else was it?” I ask as he brings over both plates of food. We take our seats and I take a drink of my water as he places his napkin on his lap.
“You wanted me to come in your room while you’re asleep to check on your dog.” He’s looking at me, fork in mid hover over plate.
I shrug, watching him as I pick up my own fork. “Yeah, so?” I ask, taking a moment to shave a sliver of the perfectly cooked, flaking fish with my fork. My gaze returns to him as I pop the bite in my mouth. It practically melts on my tongue and is so mild and wonderful it’s easily the best fish I’ve ever had. “It’s not like I sleep naked,” I joke.
Billionaire Bash: The Complete Steele Series Page 46
