by Haley Jenner
I’ve never, in my life, been frightened of a human being. I’ve been intimidated, sure, but not frightened. I’ve never had every nerve ending within my body zap with warning, with anxious uncertainty from laying eyes on one person.
I’ve never seen anything like the vacancy of any human emotion as I can see in Marcus Dempsey.
His gun hangs loosely by his side, a sick smile twisting at the corner of his mouth as he blinks slowly, casually taking in the scene surrounding him.
“You fuckin’ liar,” Parker shouts, taking a step toward Rocco. “You promised me,” he accuses, pain lacerating his words as his fists clench by his side. “You had not fuckin’ intention keepin’ your promise if you called him.”
“I didn’t tell him shit,” Rocco argues, his shock at Marcus’ presence clear enough in the deep furrow of his brow.
Marcus bounces on his feet, his teeth grinding as his eyes flick around the room. He’s jittery, but not from the bedlam unfolding in the loft, no, he’s relaxed by that. His body moving to lean against the front door he only moments ago stepped through. A fine sheen of sweat lines his forehead, eyes depressed into his skull. The veins in his neck show heavily against the pallid tone to his skin.
“Dominic,” he nods, light eyebrows rising in insult. It’s a front though, the faux confidence in the sound. He’s on guard. Cautious as he assesses my father’s position and the threat he offers.
A look of hatred I’ve never seen crosses my father’s face and casts severely across the space.
“What have you taken, Marcus?” Mira’s hesitant voice scratches against the harrowing silence.
His nostrils flare in irritation, eyes shutting. “Your need to protect Lila’s spawn is embarrassing, Mira. So defective you couldn’t have children of your own, you’ve latched onto your dead sister’s offspring like a vulture,” his last words whisper into nothing. “Maybe you’re happy she died. Maybe Dominic didn’t kill Lila, maybe you did.”
Rocco moves to step around his aunt, murder in his eyes, but Mira is faster, side-stepping at the exact time Rocco does, keeping him protected from the threat of her husband.
“No,” he laughs. “No. You’re right. You’re too weak to take such charge of your life.”
The softness in Mira’s face dissipates, replacing itself with hate. A smile teases at the side of her lips and I’m momentarily stunned by the malice in the small gesture. Gone is the seemingly weak beauty, in her place a villain that could, without question, stand toe to toe with the devil dancing within the confines of the loft.
“Marcus, this is why you’ve never been able to replace Kane, why his associates never even contemplated doing business with you. You’re imbecilic.”
He stands to full height at her insult, unleashed fury making his already jittery behavior shake more prominently.
“Of course I could have children,” she continues. “I just never wanted to subject a child to life with you as their father. The world is a far better place without you having procreated.”
He laughs then. The rich, rough sound thundering in my ears. Wiping away his non-existent tears, his eyes move to Camryn and I, settling as his laughter dies away. His stare is knowing, one of calculated power that makes the tiny hairs along the back of my neck stand on end.
Parker pulls me farther into his back, shielding me from Marcus’ view. Marcus’ focus remains on where he could see me moments ago, his gaze shifting to Parker’s midsection, where his tattooed arm is no longer visible, instead twisted back, holding me against him.
Finally, this scrutiny deliberates up to Parker’s body, settling on my eyes currently peeking over his shoulder. “Codi. It’s nice to finally meet you in person,” he soothes, a small familiar smile playing at his lips.
I swallow thickly against the way he says my name; so significant, so aware is causes a level of discomfort and uncertainty to creep up my spine.
“Don’t fuckin’ talk to her,” Rocco spits, stepping closer to the superficially impenetrable armor that is Parker.
“I told you, Rocco. You need to lower that gun, I can’t let you carry through with your plan. I wanna destroy this piece of shit Dominic more than anyone,” his eyes slice to my dad, bitterness and contempt forcing his hand to tighten on the gun held in his palm. “But not with her.”
Rocco’s bottom lip pushes out in challenge, his shoulders squaring the barrel of his gun aimed toward me, Parker standing between us like my own personal shield.
“What makes you think I would give a shit what you think?”
Marcus shrugs, taking a step forward, forcing Rocco, and in turn Mira, to move closer to Parker and I.
“You know how many times Kane reamed me in front of my subordinates because of information I acquired through my concrete source. Took me some time to realize the piece of shit was feeding me false information.”
My gaze moves to my dad as he steps forward. “I will kill you where you fucking stand,” he seethes, his eyes shading with panic.
“Uh-ah,” Marcus tsks, lifting his gun in the direction of Camryn, his eyes glued to my dad.
He’s scared of my father. That’s obvious. He might be holding the gun, but even the protection of a weapon hasn’t removed the fear from his eyes as he watches my father uncertainly.
He waits a moment, making certain my father doesn’t move. The threat of Camryn’s life, great enough to keep his feet glued to the floor.
“Who was your source?”
It’s the first time I’ve heard Parker speak, the rough sound vibrating through his entire body against mine.
Marcus smiles. Genuinely. It’s sick and twisted but it’s one full of pleased triumph. He has something. Something solid. Something he deems wounding enough to inflict maximum damage.
His tongue darts out to wet his lips, his teeth following to chew same spot. He eyes everyone in the room for the briefest of seconds, his eyes falling to me for a few moments longer than everybody else. It’s unnerving. It’s unsettling and I step closer into Parker’s back to protect myself from the calculated look dilating his pupils.
Finally his eyes move back to my father and stay.
“First time I met Sarah she didn’t know who I was,” he starts and the look of defeat that crosses my father’s face mixes with regret.
“I told you,” he grits, but Marcus shushes him, finger to his lips, a look of reprimand on his amused face. The move is as condescending as all hell, only menacing by the way in which the gun in his hand remains pointed in Camryn’s direction.
“As I was saying, the first time I met your mother,” he turns to Camryn and I, “she had no idea who I was. Was just happy to escape the confines of your father’s rules. She was drowning her sorrows in some dilapidated bar on the outskirts of town. No protection, no bodyguards, even considering who she was married to. Seems you never actually cared, that right, Dominic?”
My father doesn’t answer, his eyes focused on the gun in Marcus’ hand. “I’ll kill you,” he whispers.
Marcus laughs. “Oh. I don’t doubt it. I imagine there’ll be a few casualties as my story unfolds.”
“I made her feel good. Sarah. She was so… stupid. God, she gave away secrets before I’d even bought her a drink. Big ones too.” His eyes light up as he speaks, enjoying his stage, us the unwilling audience. I think that’s what makes this more exciting for him, the fact that each and every one of us would choose to be anywhere else.
“Getting her to open her legs wasn’t much harder,” he smirks and I feel an overwhelming need to be sick. It’s sad how easily I could believe that she would betray my dad’s confidence in business, that she wouldn’t second guess divulging secrets that caused him damage. I feel sick that she’d let this psychopath touch her. Intimately.
“Kane was so impressed with me,” he moves his gaze over Rocco and Parker. “My source had given us greater ground. We’d hit Dominic where it hurt, I was feared. I was respected. Sure, I could never tell him where my information came from,
especially because I was essentially sleeping with the enemy. Shit, he wouldn’t hesitate putting a bullet between my eyeballs if he knew. Fuckin’ ungrateful piece of shit he was. He didn’t give a shit about loyalty.”
“Says the guy who was fuckin’ his adversary's wife.”
Rocco’s voice is hard. Unfeeling, a bored indifference radiating from his large body. He doesn’t give a shit about Marcus’ story any more than the rest of us. He might also be wielding a gun, but unlike Marcus, he’s not stupid. There are people he cares for in this room, he wouldn’t risk using it without Mira and Parker out of harms way.
Marcus ignores his comment, moving on with his story. “Sarah found out eventually, threatened me. Laughable. She knew she was as fucked as I was if our relationship got out. If Dominic here,” he gestures to my dad, “wouldn’t kill her, Kane sure would have. She disappeared for a little while, I gave her time, because I knew she’d come back. She always did… does. In the end, she fuckin’ frothed at betraying Dominic in any way she could. Sharing details on business transactions. Fucking me like her life depended on it. Life was good.”
He pauses, letting us all soak in my mother’s deceit.
Sighing, he turns to my father. “But you knew. In the end. Or at least suspected. You cut her out. Let her hear half-truths. You made me look like a fucking fool,” he spits.
My father doesn’t deny it. Only stares at him with hate and fury in his eyes.
“Your piece of shit father started humiliating me in front my subordinates,” he speaks to Rocco and Parker. “He’d backhand me like I was a useless little bitch,” he glares at Mira, disgust in his words.
“Seems fitting,” Rocco smiles. Marcus refuses to respond, his neck cracking in irritation.
“Sarah and I became desperate. We started using. Drinking. We got sloppy,” he looks to me and my breath catches at his meaning, trying to understand what the hell he’s saying.
“Then you’re idiotic, fucking cunt of a mother saw me. Lila,” he spits. “Thinking she was more important than she was. She was a nosy fucking bitch who knew too much. So I acted. She would’ve gone straight to Kane. He would’ve killed me, Sarah and Codi. Not only was I sleeping with the enemy, I’d knocked her up. SHE. GAVE. ME. NO. FUCKING. CHOICE.”
My breath comes out in a stutter. My hands shaking in front of me.
I’d knocked her up.
He would’ve killed me, Sarah and Codi.
“No,” I splutter in disbelief, side-stepping from the protection of Parker’s body. My eyes seek out my father’s and in that single moment, I know it’s true. His looks into me with love, sure, but the pain and regret sit forefront.
He’s not my dad. Not biologically. No, I’m the product of a man that is evil, that is twisted and his blood runs through my veins. The good I thought I’d been passed from my father doesn’t exist, because it was never mine. My hands find my mouth and I cry silently into them.
My whole world is a lie.
Everything I thought I knew was a lie.
“It was you,” the soft, broken whisper is unlike anything I’ve heard from Rocco. “You did it. You took a gun, pointed it in her face, and blew it off. You killed her. YOU FUCKING KILLED HER,” his voice cracks open on the scream ripped from his throat.
From here everything moves in slow motion. Ask me when it was all over and most likely, I wouldn’t recall a single detail, but here in the moment, I see it all. Like a replay. Every movement happens sluggishly, in my mind anyway.
I hear it all.
I feel it all.
I smell it all.
I. SEE. IT. ALL.
Parker steps back, not purposefully, more as though the force of Rocco’s words have propelled him backward. He grunts in pain. The sound moving through everyone with a force unlike any other. We can feel his heartbreak. That single tortured sound giving us access to the moment the final slivers of his heart shattered to pieces. If I concentrated hard enough I’d smell the salt of his tears already working their way down his face. His movement isn’t graceful. He stumbles. As though he’s been hit forcefully, unsuspectingly.
A roar breaks from Rocco’s throat, disturbed and haunting. Likely a sound I won’t ever forget. I feel it ricochet from my finger-tips down to the tips of my toes. The loss and anguish in the sound so poignant, I can relate to the devil living within Rocco’s body. Unleashed now that he knows his entire life, everything he’s been working toward for the last eighteen years has been a lie. His hate and rage is so loud it fills the room, it cloaks us so heavily, I can smell it; the desperation, the agony. His feet move forward, the same time his arm stretches up, gun aimed at Marcus’ heart.
Marcus is faster though and before a split second of time passes, he pulls his trigger first.
I imagine Lila and Mira had a relationship much like Camryn and I do. One of an unbreakable bond. One that would ensure that you do everything in your power to protect one another. No matter the cost. You’d lay down your life. You’d give your very last breath. There isn’t a single doubt in my mind that when Lila died, Mira took on the maternal role for Rocco and Parker. One of nurture. One of protection.
She’s faster than I predicted. More than anything from this day, I think I’ll remember the tear. The single droplet falling along her cheek as her body moved to shield Rocco’s. Heartbreak that her husband, the man she promised her life to, had taken that of her sister. But her final moments weren’t in revenge. They weren’t in hate or vengeance. They were that of a mother. A strong, fearless woman who laid down her life to protect her children. She took her final breath, right before Marcus’ bullet pierced her skull, knowing that she gave it to protect her sister’s baby. She did what she promised. She gave Lila her word and she kept it.
The sound was terrifying. I don’t know if it was the release of the bullet, the eerie sound as it flew through the air, the moment it connected or the strangled choke she made as it happened. But it was sickening.
Worse though, was the blood. The smell, the metallic spike that hit that air the same time her blood coated my face and body. I can still feel it; wet and warm, freezing me in place.
Everything seemed to kick start back into full speed from that moment. My father’s gun was out before anyone registered it and Marcus’ life ended in a similar fate to Mira’s. It was quick and bloody, but when his body slumped to the floor, no one spared him a single glance.
I watch on helplessly as Rocco cradles Mira’s lifeless form, his eyes shut tight, his big body rocking, stuttered sobs breaking from his lips.
“Someone fucking help me,” he stammers. “Get it off her face,” his hands wipe hopelessly against her skin, trying to move the blood from her face. Parker drops next to him, hands limp at his side, his jaw shaking and tears falling in the same way as Rocco’s, heavy and consistent.
I didn’t see Camryn move, but she crouches beside Mira’s body, a small bowl and a washcloth alongside her. She washes away the blood with care, cleaning her face.
“You’re a fuckin’ nurse. Do something,” Rocco demands, his large bloody palm coming up to caress his Aunt’s face.
“She’s gone, Rocco. It was instant. There’s nothing anyone could’ve done,” the emotion is thick in Camryn’s throat and I swallow the sob threatening to break from my throat.
My dad’s voice echoes softly in the background. His tone is somber, matter-of-fact, but I can’t focus on what he’s saying. All I can see is Mira, laying lifeless in Rocco’s arm, the pool of blood coating his legs and the arms as he cradles her along his lap.
He looks like a child. A scared and grief-stricken little boy. He continues to rock her, apologizing over and over again. His soft spoken sorry echoing along emptiness in the space.
Parker holds her limp hand in his, his free hand covering his mouth, blinking against his tears every few seconds to let them drop.
Camryn sits beside them, watching on. Not speaking. Not moving. Just sitting.
And I stand here. Unable to mo
ve. Unable to speak. Barely breathing.
I just saw two people die.
Die as in watch a bullet penetrate their skulls and watch the life seep from their bodies. Instantly.
Two.
One of which happened to be my biological father.
Parker gently brings Mira’s hand to his lips, kissing her softly. “I’m so sorry, Mira. Fuck am I sorry. I love you,” he touches her face, his thumb skating along her eye socket. “Tell mom I love her when you see her. Tell her I’m sorry too, for everything.”
He places her hand along her abdomen, resting his over for a brief moment as his eyes meet Rocco’s. A fresh wave of tears hit them both as their eyes anchor. A sob breaks from Rocco’s throat and he nods, Parker follows the movement, his jaw wired shut, his bottom lip trembling as he swallows the cries he so desperately wants to let go.
Finally, he stands, moving toward me. His eyes skate over me, over the blood decorating my skin, over the tears tracking down my face. He picks me up without speaking, cradling my body against his and that does it. Burying my face into his neck, I cry. Thick, fat, ugly tears. Loud, uncontrolled, messy sobs.
For Mira.
For Parker.
For Rocco.
For Lila.
For my dad.
For myself.
How messed up this tangled web had become. How twisted and hateful, how deceitful and deceptive were the foundations our lives were built on.
Because of my mother.
Because of my father.
Because of Rocco.
Because of Parker.
Twenty-Five
Parker
I can’t seem to control my sobs. Or hers. Any comfort given from the soft drag of my palm up and down her back as I carry her is lost from the tortured breaths from my throat and my tears dampening her hair. My body shakes in perfect rhythm with hers. My sobs rough, Codi’s soft and broken.
I shut the door of my bedroom, attempting to shut out the horror of our day. Shutting it away as I break the threshold of my bathroom. Placing her on her feet, I brush away the mattered hair from her forehead; it’s clotted with blood, staining the white blonde color a vibrant red. Mira’s life now painted along our bodies in reminder of what I just lost.
