I ache to hold her hand crossing the street, but if someone honks or hurls a slur … Reeve doesn’t need that right now.
At VI the hostess shows us to a booth and we scoot in across from each other. I feel lighter, buoyant almost, like a boat. Reeve moors me.
“You have to get out of there,” I tell her.
The waitress comes and Reeve orders coffee. Reeve opens the menu and says, “I don’t have any money.”
“I’m buying,” I tell her. “Order whatever you want.”
She studies the menu while I study her over it. She’s not wearing makeup and her eyes seem smaller, more recessed. A carafe of coffee arrives and Reeve pours us both a cup. “Are you getting breakfast or lunch?” she asks.
I’d check my watch if I was wearing one. “Whatever you’re getting.”
Reeve drinks her coffee black and I make a mental note: Learn her habits. The waitress returns and Reeve orders French toast. “Same,” I say.
I lean across the table and reach out my hands. “I’m serious about you moving in.”
She pulls the rack of jellies over in front of her and sorts through them. “We haven’t even had sex yet.”
“We will.”
She doesn’t glance up, but her lips twist. Her face is kind of pale and splotchy. The few eyelashes she has left are white blond.
“I know what you’re going to say,” I continue. “Bring him. Robbie can move in too.”
“Just move in.” Reeve skids the jellies to the wall.
“I’ll help you move.”
She blows out a breath between her teeth.
“What?”
She sits back, crosses her arms, and steels her face. She looks so fierce and bold. I scoot out the end of the booth and around the table to slide in next to her, to put my arm around her, both arms. She lists, resting her head on my shoulder.
“You don’t understand,” she says quietly. “You don’t know everything.”
“I don’t care.” Only now matters. What we do with our life together.
Reeve doesn’t speak, so I press my temple to her head to will her thoughts into my brain.
The waitress brings our food. She looks at me and says, “Are you sitting on that side?”
I go, “Is that okay?”
She sets our plates in front of us and replies, “I don’t care, but it’s a family restaurant.”
Reeve and I look at each other and crack up. I’m staying put.
The French toast is awesome. I can’t remember the last time I ate a real breakfast.
“Are you going to graduation?” Reeve asks, sawing off a corner of bread.
“I don’t know. Are you?”
“Are you kidding?” She chews and swallows. “It’s the biggest day of Robbie’s life. The whole family’s coming.” She pours more hot syrup over her stack and adds, “Even my dad might show.”
“I thought he was gone.”
She eats in silence.
“You have to come,” Reeve says in this pleading voice. “I want you to graduate with me.”
“Then I will.”
She freshens her coffee from the pot and says, “We have to go to Novak’s party too.”
“No.”
“Yes.” She whaps my arm. “We’re both going. I want to see that bitch’s face when I fuck you in her bed.”
I hesitate … then laugh.
Reeve takes my face in her hands and kisses me. In broad daylight, in the Village Inn.
We drive back to my apartment to hang for a while. Get naked? Do it in my bed I hope I hope. Tessa and Martin are out back planting flowers or shrubs. Martin usually does the yard work, cleans the house, cooks. He’s the total package.
Reeve says, “Is that your sister?”
I tighten my grip on her hand and tug her toward the stairs. “Do you know when we can pick up our caps and gowns? Like, how much time do we have?” I start up the stairs, but Reeve slips out of my grasp. She heads for Tessa.
Shit.
Tessa straightens, arms at her sides, digger pointed at the ground.
Reeve says, “I’m sorry about your baby.”
Tessa’s eyes fuse to mine. What is that expression? Horror? Outrage? She aims the sharp point of the digger at Reeve, or me.
Martin pops up from behind the forsythia bush. “Hey, Mojo.” He looks at Reeve.
“This is Reeve,” I say, threading my fingers between hers. “My girlfriend.”
Martin’s eyes bulge. He sticks out his hand and shakes Reeve’s. “I’m Martin, the evil bro-in-law.”
Reeve says, “I’m sorry about your baby.”
Martin cuts to Tessa, then back to Reeve. “Thank you.”
Tessa, with the digger.
Reeve adds, “I was in your house while it was happening.”
“What?” Tessa says, sounding shocked.
“We’re out of here.” I go to grasp Reeve’s hand, but she’s way ahead of me. She’s halfway up the stairs. On the landing, she crosses her arms and taps her foot. I reach around her to unlock the door.
Reeve charges inside and whirls on me. “They didn’t even know who I was. Didn’t you tell them about me?”
“No. I mean …” I expel a breath. “My sister knows I’m gay, but—”
She storms down the hall and slams into the bathroom. I say through the door, “Reeve, I’m sorry.” I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for. “We don’t talk that much. Not about significant things. Meaningful things.”
The door swings open and Reeve lunges out at me. She smashes me against the wall, her face on fire. “Bye.”
She heads out.
“Don’t go!” I chase her down. “Reeve.” I catch her as she grabs for the doorknob, flinging my arms around her waist from behind and pulling her into me.
We stand pressed together, front to back. She’s trembling. “I’m sorry. I don’t think about introducing my friends to Tessa anymore.”
“Is that all I am? A friend?”
“Of course not,” I say. “I love you.”
“Am I the only one?” she asks.
“Yes. Completely.” First, last, and always.
She turns and kisses me so hard she cuts my lip on her teeth, then pushes me back. I taste blood.
Her face disintegrates and she shrivels into herself. I hold her; kiss the top of her head gently. “I want us to be together. Always.” She needs tenderness, reassurance. “I love you,” I say softly.
“I don’t trust Robbie to be alone with Anthony. I shouldn’t have left him there. I have to bail,” she says.
“It’s okay.” I rub her shoulders and gaze down into her eyes.
“Maybe I can get out later.”
My hopes soar. “I’ll be here.” I smile and see her relax.
Hand in hand, we descend the stairs. I walk Reeve to the van and we linger on a goodbye kiss. When I return, Tessa is looming at the edge of the patio. “I want to talk to you,” she says.
Well, finally. I cross my arms, bracing.
She says, “I can’t believe you told a complete stranger about my personal life.”
“She’s not a complete stranger, obviously. Reeve Hartt, by the way. That’s her name. She’s my girlfriend.”
Tessa saws her jaw until it pops. “The baby was our business. My private business, Johanna.”
My arms uncross and dangle at my sides. “Sorry.” It comes out a murmur.
Tessa’s eyes pool with tears. She rushes to the sliding door, rolls it open then closed behind her.
I think, God. I’m the worst sister in the world. No wonder she’s given up on me.
Chapter 24
Shondri calls the next morning and asks if I can come in to work. “Yes,” I tell her. I need the money bad.
She adds, “My kid has a doctor’s appointment at eleven. You think you can handle it alone for an hour?”
“Absolutely.” I didn’t know she had a kid. “I’m on my way.”
There’s a knock on my door as I’m sluggi
ng down my last Fresca for breakfast. I open the door cautiously, scared it might be Tessa ready to rip into me some more.
“Oh my God.” I throw my arms around Reeve. “Hi.” Robbie’s with her.
“You should ask who it is,” Reeve says.
“I knew it was you.”
She kisses me. I pull her inside and the kiss prolongs.
Robbie makes a gagging sound in his throat, like paper tearing, and Reeve and I start laughing in our kiss.
“Yikes,” I say. “I have to go to work.”
Reeve undoes the top two buttons on my white shirt. “Better,” she goes.
Damn. Dammit. I have to go; I need the money for my insurance. “If you guys want to hang here for a while, that’s cool. I’ll try to get off early.”
“Can we watch porn?” Robbie asks.
I just look at him.
Reeve says, “We’re going with you.”
“What?”
She fists me in the arm.
“To work?”
“Is that a problem?”
“Um…”
“We’ll help out, won’t we?” She elbows Robbie.
Okay. Wow.
The phone rings as we’re leaving and Reeve says, “Don’t you want to get that?”
I shut the door behind us. The only person I want to talk to is here. Novak called last night and left a message. She needed to see me. She needed to talk. She needs, needs, needs.
In my peripheral vision, I see Tessa and Martin on the patio, sitting next to each other in new chairs. Adirondack chairs with footrests. There’s a new gas grill too.
I’m only doing this for Reeve. I tell her, “I want to introduce you officially. And Robbie too.”
“Robbie!” Reeve calls to him. He’s plodded off in the direction of my car. “Stop.” He obeys.
They’re deep in conversation, or at least Martin is. He’s reading to Tessa from the gas grill directions.
“Um, guys?”
He and Tessa swivel their heads.
“I want you to meet Reeve and Robbie. Well, you’ve already met Reeve. But officially, this is my girlfriend, Reeve Hartt. And her brother, Robbie Inouye.”
Martin loops his legs off each side of the chair and stands.
“They’re twins,” I say. Don’t ask me why I think that’s significant and meaningful. Because it is to Reeve?
Martin balls a fist and holds it out to Robbie. “Word up, homie.”
Robbie knuckles him back.
“Nice to see you again,” he says to Reeve, smiling.
She blinks. “Yeah, you too.”
Tessa forces a thin, unconvincing smile.
Martin says, “You guys want to stay for lunch? I’m going to fire up this puppy and barbecue ribs. If I can figure out how to get the propane tank attached.”
“No, thanks,” I reply. “I have to go to work.”
Martin fakes a pout. “How about you two?”
Tessa lowers her head and looks away.
Robbie says, “Okay.”
Reeve grabs his sleeve. “We’re going to work with Johanna. But thanks.”
“Rain check,” Martin tells them. “You’re welcome anytime.” He engulfs me in a hug, and Reeve too.
It makes me think he and Tessa talked about it—about me. He’s showing support and acceptance.
Robbie says, “Just screw on the tank, dude.” He shows Martin where on the gas grill.
“Dude,” Martin goes. “Any moron could’ve figured that ‘un out, eh?”
Everyone laughs but Tessa.
“He’s cool,” Reeve says as we round the corner of the house.
“Yeah, he’s a good guy.” Tessa found her soul mate. I smile. So have I. “You want to ride with me?” I ask Reeve.
“Absolutely. Since we took the bus.”
She rode the bus clear over here to see me? What if I wasn’t here? I told her I’d always be here. And I was. Score one for me.
The mall echoes our footsteps as all the stores and stalls are being readied to open. At Bling’s, the grate is halfway up, so I duck underneath and Reeve and Robbie trail behind.
Shondri is loading the register. “These are my friends, Reeve and Robbie,” I tell her. “Reeve is my girlfriend.” I toss Reeve a quick smile, thinking, I just came out to Shondri. “They’re here to help.”
Shondri says to me, “Can I talk to you?”
My heart drops. Reeve takes the hint and shoves Robbie down the aisle.
Shondri says, “They can’t work without applying and getting hired and filling out W-2s.”
“They’re not working working. They’re just helping out. They’re not getting paid.” Do they expect to be paid? I’ll just pay them out of my check.
Shondri eyes me, then shifts her gaze to them. “Is he the one smacking you around?”
I huff in disgust.
“Today you got a fat lip.”
Do I? I feel it with my tongue and it is swollen. Reeve kissed me hard.
“It’s … herpes,” I say. “It flares up.”
Shondri’s expression doesn’t change.
I tell her, “You could try them out. See if you want to hire them. We need help, right?”
Shondri watches Robbie pick up a ponytail holder and stretch it as far as it’ll go, then snap it at Reeve. She throws one at him.
Shondri cracks a roll of quarters over the cash drawer. “My kid’s got the flu bad. I’ve got to leave.”
“I can handle it,” I say. “If you want to go now, we can hold down the fort.”
Shondri says, “I just need to be out of here by ten-thirty for the doctor.” She slips the register key into the secret drawer. “It’s on your head.”
What does that mean?
“Show them how to set up the displays.”
“Okay.” I walk to the back, feeling weird about this. Why? I say to Reeve, “You’re in. If you do good, Shondri might hire you.”
“Yeah?” Robbie perks up.
Reeve screws up her face, like, Who’d work here?
Exactly. “Do you want me to put your purse in the storeroom?”
“I’m fine.” Reeve squeezes her purse to her side.
Robbie has his case. I look at it, then him. He clutches it to his chest.
I stash my stuff, then show them the drawers where the inventory is stored; I tell them to reload the hooks on the walls and the racks on the tables. Robbie props his case against the wall and begins arranging the fake fingernails and stick-on jewels.
Reeve fills a spinner of earrings, while I do watches and bracelets. She meets my eyes once and winks. God, could I do her in the storeroom?
Shondri bustles by. “That looks nice,” she grumbles at Reeve.
Reeve smiles. “Thanks.”
Shondri never told me my displays looked good. I take my promotion as a sign she’s satisfied with my work, though.
As soon as we open, it’s a mob scene. Tweeners everywhere. I home in on this suspicious-looking group of grungy guys, all wearing lowriders and chains. The girls are sneaky. They finger the necklaces and talk on their cells. They leave without buying anything. A second wave flows in. Were they summoned by the cells? Sometimes they work in teams.
A commotion out in the mall draws my attention.
Mall security is there and … Oh my God. Oh no. A security guard has Robbie by the arm.
I dash out.
“What else did you take?” the guard says. Robbie yanks two scrunchies off his wrist.
“What’s going on?” I interrupt.
Over Robbie’s shoulder, I see Reeve. She slips a pair of earrings from her purse into her back pocket. I try to get her to look at me, but she gazes off into the mall.
The security guard goes, “Follow me.”
“No.” I snag the guard’s arm. “It’s a mistake. They work here.”
“Oh, really?” She arches her eyebrows. “Then why were they leaving?”
God. Oh God.
“Please,” the guard insi
sts. “Follow me.”
Reeve fixes on me.
“You have it wrong,” I say. “I made them do it.”
My story is lame. I asked Reeve and Robbie to come in and steal for me because I worked at Bling’s and I didn’t want to lose my job. I’m a terrible liar.
There are two security guards in the office, a lady and a man. The lady says, “Jim, I can handle this. Why don’t you go on back.”
I feel like hurling.
She eyes each of us—me, Robbie, Reeve. Reeve’s head is down. “What’s in the case?” she asks Robbie.
“Nothing,” I answer for him. “I mean, there’s an instrument. Robbie has a lesson today. He didn’t put anything in the case.”
“Is that true?” she asks Robbie.
He’s suddenly a deaf-mute.
“They’re innocent,” I say. “They only agreed to do it because they’re my friends.”
The guard twiddles a red pen between her first and second fingers. She taps it on her paper. “You can go,” she says. I get up and snag Reeve’s arm.
“Not you.” She points the pen at me.
I sit.
Reeve and Robbie stand and leave quickly.
The guard says to me, “This is really stupid.”
Tears well in my eyes. “I know.”
“I’m going to let you off this time.”
“You are?”
“You need to leave the mall and never come back.”
But my job …
“Did you hear me?”
A long moment passes.
“Now would be a good time.”
I scramble to get up. My heart hammers in my chest and my stomach hurts. I need my keys, which are in my bag, in the storeroom at Bling’s.
Shondri’s on the phone when I reenter. She looks right through me and her eyes go vacant.
I let her down. God, punish me.
Outside, I drive around the mall twice, but there’s no sign of Robbie or Reeve. A raindrop splatters on the windshield and a hot tear streaks down my cheek.
Damn. I needed that job.
Chapter 25
She calls just as I’m about to crash. “You’re so stupid.”
I take the phone into the hall, sit on the floor with my back to the wall, and flatten my feet against the opposite wall. Tessa used to shimmy up the wall by pushing with her feet and wriggling her back. She called it the spider. As a kid I was always too short, but Tessa would put me in her lap and we’d spider together.
Rage: A Love Story Page 14
