“Thank you,” I said. “So what’s good on the menu this season?” I picked up the menu to avoid talking about Jamison.
“I asked the chef if he would make us a little something special,” he said grinning.
“What?” I asked. He looked like he was planning something.
“Well, I do recall one beautiful black woman tearing through a meal on a date I’d taken her on. She even broke her rule of etiquette, eating the last bite and saying it was the best quail she’d ever had.”
“I did not,” I lied. I could feel myself smiling. I didn’t even remember that until he brought it up. The moment had been eclipsed by the infamous crotch grab.
“Well, we’ll put that in the history books, but we both know how it went down that night,” he said jokingly.
“So you ordered the quail?” I asked, half-excited he remembered what I ordered that night and a bit peeved that he’d ordered for me. That was a bit presumptuous. Was this how folks dated nowadays? No, no, no! I wasn’t on a date.
“Now, I know that might seem a bit forward and old school of me to order food for you, but I have a reason,” he said, looking into my eyes. “Right now in my life, I’m all about moving forward and letting go of the past.”
“Okay,” I said.
“And I know I was a complete jerk when we went out . . . what was it, ten years ago?”
“Longer.”
“Well, I’m asking you for a friendly do-over. So, call me superstitious, but I thought having the same meal might get me some luck in becoming your friend again.”
“That’s very kind of you,” I said, but what I was thinking was that it was downright charming.
“And it’s not just any quail that I had to call the chef personally to convince him to make—because it’s not on the menu. It’s roasted quail flambéed in—”
“Cognac,” I said, with my mouth watering.
“Glad you remembered,” he said.
“I honestly hadn’t known I did.”
The quail was better than I’d remembered and Preston was an even better dining partner. His work with HIV/AIDS had taken him all over Africa and he seemed so committed, so fervent about what he did that it was inspiring. I could listen to him talk all day about the people he’d met, the things he’d seen, and even though it was sad and enough to make anyone cry, it was also heartwarming and I could see how it had changed him. I’d traveled throughout most of Europe and even took a cruise with my mother once that stopped in South Africa, but we never went away from the tours or resorts. This place, this Africa that Preston was talking about, was beautiful and exotic and unforgiving in a way that made me feel more alive just for hearing about it.
“There’s no way I could have done anything to save her,” Preston said, looking just as lost in the story he was telling me as I felt. “The outdated drugs we’d given her to treat the virus were not as effective as they could have been. People have been speculating for years that the drugs that companies send to Africa as charity when they are out of date are less active and perhaps poisonous. But it was all we had. We could either watch her die fast without the drugs or give her the stuff we weren’t even sure was working.”
“Awful,” I said.
“Yeah . . .” He paused and took one of perhaps three remaining bites on his plate. My food was looking low as well. It was just too good to leave sitting on the plate. “But I don’t mean to bore you. I know I can get carried away about this stuff.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said. “It’s great to know you’ve experienced so much.”
“Try telling that to the women who refuse to date me,” he said.
I couldn’t imagine anyone turning him down for anything. I hadn’t had one drink and I couldn’t help but wonder what he looked like with no clothes on.
“Really?”
“Please, me and love don’t get along,” he said. “Once women realize how committed I am to my work and that most of my money goes into the clinic and not a fancy car and big house, they run for the border.”
“So, you haven’t had any luck? No marriages? No kids?”
“None . . . Well, I was about to get engaged once, but it didn’t pan out.”
“What happened?”
“A few years back, I was dating this model I’d met when I was doing research in France. She’s a Ralph Lauren model from Alabama, of all places. We just hit it off. I guess it was the whole Southern thing.”
“You mean Chan?” I asked. Chan was one of the prettiest black models in the business. I didn’t follow the industry, but you couldn’t see a Lauren ad without noticing the delicate almond sister and how she commanded the camera’s attention with her dark brown eyes. She was graceful and soft, yet she also seemed to have an air of sophistication.
“Yes,” he said, but a smile didn’t appear on his face in the way I’d expected from a man who’d dated her. “We dated for a while. Even did a little long distance thing between Europe and the States when I had to come home. I was a good boy. This was when I was like thirty-one and she was just twenty, so it wasn’t easy.”
“Twenty?” I plucked his hand playfully.
“Please, you try finding a working model over twenty-five and I’ll buy you an airplane.”
“Very funny,” I said.
“Things were amazing. I think maybe because she was so young and had less limitations, it was just fun. And with what I do, things can get very frustrating, so I just need a little outlet sometimes. I fell for her quickly. And I went out and bought this rock to put on her hand that could have fed a village in Kenya for eight months.”
“You’re crazy,” I said laughing.
“No, really,” he said without laughing. “I had the ring and she came here to visit for a weekend. I was so nervous that the entire weekend went by without me saying anything. I missed every opportunity. And then I decided that I’d just ask her when we got to the airport. I’d walk inside with her and ask the question right there in front of all of those people. She was young, so she liked stuff like that. The time came, and we were sitting in the lobby of the airport, talking before she was supposed to walk through security. I had the ring in my pocket and I was about to pull it out and get down on one knee.”
“What happened?”
“She started talking . . .” He paused. “She asked me if I loved her.”
“And, you said, ‘yes’?”
“No, I was too nervous. I just stood there. I knew I loved the girl and what I was about to do, but I just couldn’t. Something was holding me back. The surprising thing was that she didn’t even look sad that I wasn’t saying anything. She just kept smiling. ‘Well, I don’t know if I love you either,’ she said.”
“What? Do you think she was mad?”
“No, she was dead serious,” he said as the waiter came over and poured more water into our glasses. “Then she wrapped her arms around my waist and said, ‘But I know we’re good for each other and that I could learn to love you, Pres . . .’ I was so confused. It was like she’d practiced everything she was saying. I dropped the ring down into the bottom of my pocket. ‘I think we should get married,’ she added. ‘Would you marry me?’ she asked me as if she was ordering extra cheese on her pizza.”
“What?” My mouth fell open. “She told you she didn’t love you and then asked if you would marry her?”
“Imagine how I felt. I was about to ask this woman to marry me. I told her that didn’t sound like a good idea since she didn’t love me.”
“Exactly.”
“Then she went into this whole speech about how we were both good for each other—a great team,” he said. “And said she knew she could be a good wife for me. That I could pick the weight I wanted her to be and that she wouldn’t go a pound over that weight and that she wouldn’t even need to have children if I didn’t want them.”
“If you didn’t want them!”
“It was nuts. I felt like I was talking to some crazy Stepford wife,” he said. “This wa
s most men’s dream deal, but I couldn’t believe a woman actually supported it. The girl said she’d ‘stay out of’ my business.”
“Wow.”
“I don’t even need to say it, but my love faded just as quickly as it had come, right there in the airport lobby. I wanted to get away from her fast. I was actually embarrassed.”
“What did you do?”
“I told her I needed to go,” he said. “But then she was saying she meant what she was saying and that she wouldn’t get on the plane if I said yes. I said no and walked out.”
“That’s awful.”
“Yeah, that was the height of my venture toward marriage. The ring is in a safe deposit box. I just never seem to have any luck.”
“Tell me about it,” I said as the waitress cleared our plates and handed out dessert menus. There was no way I had any room for anything else. I’d repeated my break in etiquette and had eaten the last bite of quail.
“Dinner’s over,” a voice said as a hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned to find Marcy standing behind my chair.
“Excuse me?” Preston said.
“Don’t say anything to me,” she said to him firmly.
“Kerry, let’s go.” She began pulling at my chair.
“Marcy, I’m having dinner with a friend,” I said, trying to resist, but people were beginning to look.
“You come with me right now,” she said, grabbing my purse.
I got up as she was walking out of the dining room.
“I’ll be right back,” I said to Preston. “She’s just . . . I’ll be right back.”
“What are you doing here?” Marcy said when I made it to the lobby where she was standing.
“I’m having dinner with a friend,” I said, snatching back my purse. “Which is none of your business. The last I checked, we weren’t friends anymore.”
“Look, I told you I had nothing to do with the thing with Piper. She admitted that she found out at work.”
“Work?”
“Coreen works at her firm. Piper saw her having lunch with Jamison and had her assistant pry into Coreen’s e-mail to see if she could find something.”
“Oh, no,” I said with my heart sinking. “I can’t believe this. Now everyone knows.”
“Piper promised not to tell another soul.”
“A promise from Piper? That’s got to be worth about a penny on a good day.”
“It’s worth a bit more when she had to come to your best friend to get a Viagra prescription for a man who isn’t her husband.” Marcy paused. “Kerry, it was all one big misunderstanding. I would never hurt you.”
“I’m sorry. I should’ve listened to you,” I said with the news about Piper still coming together in my mind. I felt like such a fool for having cut Marcy out of my life for so long. I missed her.
Without hesitating, she opened her arms and embraced me.
“Look, everything’s fine with us,” she said, backing up and looking into my eyes. “I’m your girl. I’m not going anywhere. You know how we do . . . pick up right where we left off.”
“Right.”
“And since we left off with me all up in your business, I might as well get all up in your business right now. What’s up with you and Preston?”
“We’re just here for dinner,” I said. “It’s not what you think. He’s just a friend.”
“Then why are you having dinner at a hotel?”
“Plenty of people have dinner here.”
“Not married women without their husbands.”
“Well, you’re here,” I said, looking around. “And I don’t see Damien anywhere.”
“Exactly,” she said with her eyes narrowing. “This isn’t the place for you, Kerry. I know you’re upset about what’s happening with Jamison, but this really isn’t for you. Stop now before it goes to far.”
“How can you tell me what not to do to a man that cheated on me?”
“Because I know what you’re going through,” she whispered to me.
“Marcy,” a handsome man that I’d never seen called from behind her.
“And I don’t want your marriage to end up like mine. Your husband loves you. He just fucked up. You can work it out and come back from that. But if you do this, there is no coming back,” she rattled off.
The man walked up and handed Marcy her coat.
“I’m just having dinner,” I said. “Preston is my friend.”
“Go home,” Marcy said, walking away with the man. “Just go home.”
I felt like everyone in the dining room was watching me when I walked back inside. I lowered my head and walked quickly to the table.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said as I took my seat. “She’s just upset.”
“About what?” he asked.
“Well,” I laughed playfully, “she seems to think we’re on a date . . . that you’re trying to sleep with me.”
“Hum,” he said as if this was something he’d thought of. “Well . . .”
“Well, what?” I looked at him, sure he was joking. This was Preston Alcott—a changed man. He was here to celebrate my internship, talk about Africa and Chan, and that woman he couldn’t save. This was no date. We weren’t seeing any other parts of the hotel.
“I mean, she’s not wholly wrong for that,” he said with his eyes turning from friendly to dreamy. He was looking at me . . . into me . . . through my shirt . . . and he wasn’t doing a medical examination with his eyes. The man was flirting. “I don’t mean to be forward, but when I saw you today, I just knew how good you were—that I’d missed out. I don’t want to miss out again.” He reached across the table and tried to grab my hand, but I retreated quickly.
“Preston,” I said. “I’m a married woman.” I looked around the room to be sure no one had seen him. I felt silly and ridiculous for being there. Marcy was right.
“Kerry, don’t be shy. I can tell something is going on between us. And that things at home aren’t okay. You didn’t exactly seem happy to say Jamison’s name.”
“That’s none of your business,” I said, getting up.
“There’s no need to leave,” he said. “I’m just saying, if he’s not doing his job correctly, I volunteer myself.”
“My marriage is fine,” I said getting up. “And you’re still a jerk.”
E-MAIL TRANSMISSION
TO: [email protected]
FROM: [email protected]
DATE: 12/16/07
TIME: 10:27 PM
Apparently, Dottie came by my aunt’s house this evening without calling or letting anyone know. I don’t have a problem with your mother seeing Tyrian. I have made constant arrangements for everyone to be able to see him, but at this point I want nothing to do with her and it is best that you arrange for her to see your son. As I told you the other day, what she did was unacceptable and YOU need to speak to her about it. As far as I’m concerned, a huge part of our problem is outside people placing stress on our relationship. And I admit that my mother is no saint, but your mother has been running wild, constantly putting me down and not RESPECTING our relationship since day one and you have done NOTHING to stop it. The only way she could’ve thought hooking you up with Coreen was a good idea and that you wouldn’t do anything about it was that you never ever stand up to her about anything she says. That entire situation was crazy. She created unrest in your household and compromised your marriage, even though you were having a child. Who does that? I wanted nothing more than to curse your mother out, but, you know what, that’s not my job. It’s yours.
E-MAIL TRANSMISSION
TO: [email protected]
FROM: [email protected]
DATE: 12/16/07
TIME: 10:33 PM
I need you to know that I lied earlier in my e-mail. I am hurting, Jamison, and I do miss you. But I can’t be anyone’s fool and I have to love myself right now. A lot of what you said last month about my not focusing on my career and supporting you was true. And I started doi
ng things to change that. I feel like I am being reborn and finally in love with something I can do. Something huge happened to me today and to be very honest, I did want you to be there. I DIDN’T WANT ANYONE ELSE THERE. But I also know that I can’t always have what I want and I can’t continue to build myself and my marriage if every time I lay down one brick, your mother is there to tear it down and no one does anything. I have been trying to do my part. You asked me to come home last time. And I did. Look what happened. And I even began to distance myself from my mother. Not because I don’t love her, not because I don’t want to communicate with her, but because, right now, I need someone by my side who is ONLY going to nurture me and what I am trying to do. My mother is who and what she is. She’s been that way for a long time and I know I can’t change her. But what I can change is the way I once allowed her to control my life and how much access she has to it. Can you say the same about your mother? If not, what are you willing to do to change it in order to save your marriage?
E-MAIL TRANSMISSION
TO: [email protected]
FROM: [email protected]
DATE: 12/16/07
TIME: 10:43 PM
First, I think it would be best if we spoke in person about this because I don’t want anything that I am saying to be taken out of context. But I know that’s not going to happen right now, so I will respond.
I am very happy that you have found new interests and I really want to know everything that’s going on with that. I have always known that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. You are a hard worker and a strong woman. My opinion, as you already stated in some ways, was that the only thing holding you back was your mother. Now, I know it’s not cool to talk about someone’s parent—especially a mother, but for years I have had to sit back and watch that woman constantly put you down and let you down. The crazy thing to me was always that sometimes the things she did actually worked to get you going, but most times it just left you with hurt feelings that I felt a need to try to repair in some way. That’s the real reason I didn’t go to med school. I didn’t want her to continue to control you and the thought of leaving you alone in Georgia with her there tearing you down made me feel like I needed to take charge. RIGHT now I am very aware of the damage my mother has done in our relationship, but you need to know that your mother has also had an effect on our marriage. Her judgments and how they affect you have caused me to often feel out of place in my own home. So many times I felt like you were perfectly fine with how things were going, but as soon as your mother showed up, you’d change your mind and leave me out there looking like a fool. Sometimes I think the only reason you left your job to come work at Rake It Up was because your mother wanted you to come and make sure the business didn’t fold and ruin her name. It was like all of your hard work wasn’t because you believed in what I was doing, but because you didn’t want to be embarrassed if it didn’t work. I am not blaming you for this. I know the way she influences you. But when we got married, I always thought it would stop.
His First Wife Page 24
