by Wilde, Ora
It was one of the lamest lines I have ever come up with, but it still made her chuckle.
“Not all guys are like that,” I told her as I squeezed her arm before caressing her hair. “Some... well... some actually live up to the hype,” I wryly added.
“Yeah? Like who?” she asked with a cute little pout.
“Like... well... I don’t know. I’m sure someone’s just there who’s waiting for the chance to win your heart... to take care of you the way you should be taken cared of... to love you in the purest way possible...”
“Wow, Hayden,” she responded in surprise. “You have a syrupy way with words...”
“Well... you know me... always the hopeless romantic...”
“Just like Joshua...”
“What? No! No, no, no!” I frantically denied. “I’m nothing like him!”
“You’re not a secret drug dealer?”
“I’m not!” I tried my best not to say anything that would reveal my machinations that ruined her night. “Wait... who’s a drug dealer?” I tried to continue my facade of innocence.
“I dunno, Hayden,” she said as she pulled herself away from my touch. “Somehow, I think you have something to do with what happened this evening, during my date with Joshua...”
Shit! Was she beginning to suspect?
“Me?!” I asked with feigned disbelief. “I was just here, at home, watching the Warriors game.”
“See what I mean?” she retorted. “You didn’t even ask what happened during my date, but you’re all so defensive all of a sudden. It’s like you already know what transpired.”
“No, no... I don’t,” I lied. “What happened?”
“Too late to ask that,” she replied as her face turned sad. “By the way, I ran into Zack and he asked me to say hi to you.”
“He said that?” I asked without even thinking. I was so concerned that the hulking idiot might’ve uttered something that he shouldn’t have.
“Aha!” she yelled triumphantly. “See? See? I’m not even supposed to know who this Zack is! I was just checking if you knew him... and you do!”
“Everyone knows Zack,” I reasoned out. “He’s the starting linebacker for the Bruins.”
“The starting linebacker who you asked to work at Alvin’s Pizzeria just so that he could make my night miserable?”
“Hey, hey, hey... slow down, kiddo,” I told her, hoping that the calmness I was showing would rub off on her. “First of all, Zack is only my acquainta... wait a minute! That douchebag brought you to a pizza place?”
She bowed her head as her face showed a tinge of shame.
“Yes, he did...” she mumbled.
And I laughed.
Of course, I already knew where that dolt took her for dinner. This Joshua guy happened to be a friend of the girl from the Students Affairs Office - the same girl I texted as soon as Phoebe left for her date earlier that evening - just to get some personal information about the guy. She told me how much he was in love with her, as well as his plans for their date. What a load of bullshit! No one should love her. No one!
The laughter I let out at that instance, however, was genuine. It was so much different when she said it herself with a tone of absolute dismay in her voice.
Her response wasn’t immediate. It started with a trickling of giggles. Then it escalated into a deluge of cackles. Soon enough, we were laughing our hearts out in the living room. We were so loud that Barton emerged from his chamber near the kitchen to check if everything was alright. When he saw us guffawing, he went back to his room.
I led her to the couch where we sat, still laughing over Joshua’s horrible taste in all things romantic.
“You know why a guy shouldn’t take a girl to a pizza place on a first date?” I asked her.
“Why?”
“Because pizza is a messy food to eat. Just imagine, when he’s talking to you, he’d open his mouth and you’d see a black olive dangling from his teeth.”
“Eeewwww...”
“See? High end restos may be expensive, but they don’t offer messy food, making them very conducive for serious dates.”
“High end restos? Like that Japanese restaurant where we ate?”
“Yes! More important than the quality of the food, though, is the meaning of it all. When a guy is willing to spend that much for you, it can only mean that he’ll go to the ends of the earth to win your heart.”
“I dunno about that, Hayden,” she said skeptically. “That sounds so... self-serving...”
“Self-serving, huh?” I repeated her words as I bowed my head and fiddled my fingers. From the corner of my eye, I saw her staring at me... wondering perhaps if she said something wrong... something that may have slighted me... something that may have hurt my feelings...
“Are you okay?” she asked with concern.
“Phoebe...” I started to say, “if being self-serving means making myself happy by doing everything I possibly can to be with the only woman in the world who can give me that kind of joy... then yes... I’m the most selfish guy in the world.”
She gave me a strangely astonished look, as if she didn’t believe what I said because it was to good to be true yet she wanted to hold on to the thought that it was sincere... that it was real.
“Hayden... you only asked me out because of a bet,” she reminded me.
“At first, yes. But as I got to know you better, I realized - though admittedly, I resisted it at first - how beautiful you really are... and how much you make me want to be better than the pathetic person I was... the pathetic lowlife I still am.”
“But... but you tried to trick me into sleeping with you...”
“You know what they say about old habits,” I said to lighten up the mood. “But seriously, I was still so confused back then. I forced myself to believe that you were just this girl whose love I had to win... but the things you do... the simplest things you do... they never fail to tug at my heart each and every time to remind me of you... even in the most mundane moments of my day, thoughts of you always haunted me... always. There were times that I thought that I was going insane... that I was becoming someone I wasn’t. But I was so wrong. You weren’t changing me into becoming someone else. You were just peeling off the surface of my being to allow myself, the real me, to come out. No one... no one... has that effect on me, Phoebe. Except you...”
Her stupefied look turned into one of longing. She swallowed some air as she tried to ward off the tears that threatened to fall from her lovely eyes. I held her hand and she didn’t withdraw them.
“But Hayden... our promise... at the cemetery... we can’t be together...” she reminded me. “It’s... it’s not right...”
“Maybe it isn’t,” I agreed. “But wouldn’t that be unfair for us? It’s already hard enough to pretend that it’s alright to let go of something that I know shouldn’t happen... but it’s a hundred times more difficult to remember that it’s everything that I ever wanted.”
A solitary tear finally trickled down her cheek.
“You’re being selfish again,” she said sullenly.
“Don’t you feel the same way?”
“I... I...” she struggled to answer.
Chapter 48
PHOEBE
I looked into his eyes and saw the genuineness in his words. But deep inside, I was worried. No... not worried. I was deathly scared...
Scared that it was some kind of ruse once again...
Scared that it wasn’t a deception, and that everything he has shared was true...
Scared that I would allow him to become a part of my life... a part of me...
Scared that I loved him as much as he said he loved me...
He looked so sad. I haven’t replied to his question, and he was probably thinking that I didn’t want him, at least, not as much as he wanted me. There was pain in his eyes... pain that was enough to break my own heart.
Those eyes...
Those beautiful blue eyes that gleamed whenever he smirk
ed, making him look so gorgeous even when he displayed his smug demeanor...
Those poor eyes that witnessed his own mother’s death, an event that shaped him into the bumptious, egotistic and cruel man that he was...
Those enchanting eyes that gave me a glimpse into his soul and made me see who he really was underneath his armor of arrogance...
I hated to see those eyes in sorrow.
So I held his cheek, and smiled at him.
“Mr. Hayden Summersmith,” I began to say, “Billionaire’s scion, Philosopher, Heartbreaker, Playboy...”
“Former playboy,” he corrected me with a beam.
“Former playboy,” I repeated, “Conceitedness Personified, Charming, Kind, Brother...”
“Stepbrother,” he corrected me again.
“Stepbrother... and with a good soul beneath it all...”
He gave me a look of eager anticipation, as if he wasn’t breathing until I said what I wanted to say.
“I love you,” I uttered, with words so liberating that made my heart flutter in sheer delight. “I love you with all my heart and with all that I am, and I’d like to break that promise now.”
He didn’t say a word in response to my confession.
He just gave me a smile.
No, not just a smile.
A vain, swaggering, almost boastful smile that was brimming with confidence...
A smirk.
Then his head approached mine, his mouth targeted my lips, his hand caressed my nape and drew me closer to him... and I felt the warmth of his hard body which, admittedly, I have dreamt of in my most private of moments... and I felt his own lips which were even more tepid than the heat of his torso.
He kissed me.
And I kissed back.
And just like thrice before, our tongues clashed with so much passion and yearning, sending us swirling into a vortex of desire, a limbo uninhabited by no other souls aside from ours.
His hands were restless, as if they wanted to touch all of me at once. I just wrapped my arms around his nape, drawing him nearer so that I could feel more of him against my body in an attempt to satiate a desperate sense of wanting that has been building up since that day when we met in my Chemistry class.
Chemistry class...
We have chemistry together...
His words back then that were meant to be humorous. I didn’t find them funny at that moment. Instead, I was despairing for them to be true... that we do have chemistry together.... not just for that moment... but for the next day, the next week, the next month... forever...
As I was ruminating about what was, I realized where we were. Like a bucket of ice cold water dumped all over me similar to those ALS Challenge videos on YouTube, I was yanked out of the magic of that instance, and the fear of getting caught suddenly terrified me.
“Hayden, stop,” I murmured. “People will see...”
He didn’t stop. Instead, he pressed his head harder against mine, burying his tongue deeper into my mouth, leaving me no recourse but to push it back with my own. My breasts, plump and tender, were squashed against his solid chest. I felt him... and he felt me.
“Hayden, please...” I whispered again in a brief moment of lucidness.
Then, without his mouth parting from my lips, he stood up. He hooked his arms under my thighs and carried me... and he never stopped kissing me. He walked towards the stairs, going up each flight with so much ease that seemed to gloat about his strength, until we reached the landing of the next floor.
With careful steps that were made difficult by the intense passion of the moment, he skimmed the side of the wall towards my room. He turned the knob and opened the door. Once we were inside, and with our mouths still locked and tongues still skirmishing with fervent vigor, he closed the door and proceeded to my bed where he laid me down.
He hovered over me, flashing that smirk that has always been annoying and charming at the same time. He removed his shirt, giving me a great view of his wonderful body. Every inch of him was tight... his sturdy chest, his strong shoulders, his muscular arms, and his phenomenal abs... he was proud of his body, and for good reasons. And with the way he looked at me, it seemed he wanted me to enjoy what I was seeing...
It seemed that he wanted me to know that every inch of him was for me and me alone...
Then he drew his naked torso closer to mine, supporting his weight with his hands. He kissed my nose with the tenderness of the wind touching the petal of a rose on a beautiful summer day. It was an affectionate gesture that made me smile... that is, until he started to unbutton my fly and pull down my jeans...
He probably saw the look of distress on my face, so he gave me a kiss on the cheek... yet another loving gesture that reassured me of the true intent of his heart.
As soon as my jeans were off, he began to remove his own pair. He was down to his boxers and I found myself staring at him... at the marvelous physical specimen before me.
And I wondered...
Was this gorgeous, gorgeous man really mine?
I didn’t know what got into me. I felt a terrible need that wanted to be satisfied. It began from my groin and quickly surged throughout my body... and every inch that it passed through tingled with delight. The feeling was so euphoric that it probably drove me into a state of delirium, as I did something that I never thought I would do...
I extended my foot towards his midsection... towards the seams of his boxers... inserting my toes underneath the garters and pulling it down, ever so slowly, ever so teasingly, until his full nakedness was revealed before me...
A lifetime of being shy and reserved went down the drain in those few seconds of wanton desire.
And it was just the beginning.
He stepped out of his undergarment as soon as it dropped on the floor. Then he went on top of me and pulled up my shirt. I flinched. I hesitated. I didn’t want him to see me. Me, who would try everything possible just to fit into a size 12 dress... me, who would jump from one diet to another hoping for that miracle solution that would make me lose weight without forsaking my tastebuds... me, who would always step off the weighing scale each and every morning with a heart as heavy as a boulder.
I had so many insecurities about how I was and how I looked that I didn’t want them to ruin his mood at that moment.
They didn’t.
He sensed my apprehension, and his mouth immediately approached my ear.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, “and you’re mine.”
And just like that, all of my fears subsided and I decided to embrace the moment for what it really was... a first time that should be special... a memory that I will always remember with longing and glee... an act of love that was so significant as it heralded the beginning of a forever I’d spend with him.
I hugged him tight, my arms around his powerful neck. His mouth approached my ear, nibbling its outer rim, extending his tongue to pierce its inner sanctum... and it felt ecstatically good. His tongue prodded and teased and tickled... making me want more of his intrusions... whatever part of his remained, parts that could penetrate the innermost corners of my being.
He dropped some of his weight over my body, and I felt all of him. It was a union of flesh and a union of souls... a silent agreement of hearts bound by fondness and devotion... an avowal and a promise of what wonderful things may come.
His penis rubbed against my thigh, its hardness chucked my bare skin, arousing me even further. God, how I wanted that... that... that cock of his... I wanted it so bad... I wanted him so bad...
From my ear, he slid his tongue downwards to my shoulder, licking every area in between. He gave my upper arm a few tender kisses before journeying towards the center of my body, settling on my breast nearest his side. As he reached my mound, his gentleness disappeared, replaced by untamed zeal as he swallowed the entirety of my bosom. It caught me by surprise, but more than that, the sheer bliss of being consumed... by him... made me lose control. I arched my back as I let out a rather loud
moan.
He didn’t stop.
He sucked my breast with so much passion while his tongue flicked my nipple.
And as I moaned in absolute rapture, his other hand went down to my inner thighs, gently caressing it like a feather would on a baby’s skin.
His fingers were too playful, though, as they slithered up my thigh and rubbed the slit of my womanhood. As he continued to consume my breast, I felt his lips twist upwards, signifying a smile.
