Hearing Sam say that, Jocelyn stopped short. There was an office across from the bathroom and the door was ajar just a little bit.
“No.”
Jocelyn heard Trevor sigh. His anxiety radiated through the space separating them.
“No?”
“No, of course not. We’re going to be parents.”
“So...you’re thinking of the child.”
“Yes. First and foremost. But...marriage. Family. Kids. Dogs. Cats. It’s such a huge leap.”
Jocelyn heard shuffling as though Sam had moved. “Why did you marry her if you aren’t sure?”
“I am sure.”
“That’s not what I’m hearing, Trevor.”
“It’s not that I’m unsure. I did the right thing. We did the right thing. It’s just...”
After a few seconds, Sam asked outright, “Do you love her?”
Trevor hesitated, a telling reaction for Jocelyn. Her chest tightened with this shocking change in the way she’d perceived them.
“You’ve known her long enough,” Sam said. “You work with her.”
“Yeah.” Another stressed sigh. “I think that’s the problem.”
Jocelyn heard the truth in what he said. She’d known that about him—his adamancy to keep things professional. Was he having trouble making the transition? She could deal with that.
“Jocelyn is great,” Trevor went on. “She’s genuine and smart and beautiful. The physical attraction is...wow. Fantastic. No problem there. It’s just... I don’t think I’m ready for marriage, Sam. She wants a family. The real deal. A house in town. Babies—you should hear her when she talks about that.”
“You’re having a baby.”
“Yeah, but maybe Jocelyn is right. Maybe we shouldn’t have rushed into marriage.”
He still didn’t want to have kids. Blood left her face, leaving her chilled with this revelation. He’d pretended that intimacy, hidden what lay beneath—dread—regret. He said he didn’t regret marrying her but he did. When she’d talked about her dream of being a family, she thought she felt warmth from him, not doubt. She couldn’t believe he’d faked his reaction.
“You need love,” Sam said.
“I think so. I think Jocelyn would agree, too.”
No, Jocelyn did not agree. Jocelyn thought they’d already fallen in love.
“That’s heavy, Trevor. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. The only thing I know is this marriage doesn’t feel right.”
Jocelyn covered her mouth before emotion betrayed her with an audible breath. She pivoted and considered leaving through the living room. But then she’d have to face his family. His lovely, love-abundant family.
Just as she turned to find a window to slip through, she remembered Trevor had driven and his keys were on the table by the front door, where he’d set them as though he’d done so many times before. While she contemplated the consequences of taking his SUV, her need to be gone from here overshadowed her moral compass. She walked as nonchalantly as she could into the living room.
Zoe and Lizzie had moved to the kitchen and were on their way out onto the back patio, where it appeared Ethan had finished grilling the hamburgers and the patio table was ready for gathering. Jocelyn glanced back as she reached the table by the door. No one noticed as she snatched up the keys. She left without another look back.
* * *
Jocelyn entered the apartment she shared with Trevor. Fake apartment. Fake marriage. She fumbled with the door and shut it, unable to believe what she’d heard. Still. The shock clung. Just when she’d let go of her doubt, let her guard down, Trevor broke her. Nothing had changed. He’d married her only for the baby. To do the right thing for the baby, not her. The baby did have priority, but what about her? Should she sacrifice herself for a man who would never love her?
This marriage doesn’t feel right.
The guttural truth in his voice haunted her. He meant what he’d said. He’d confided in his brother something he’d kept to himself, something he must have buried when he talked with Jocelyn, when he’d told her all those things.
I want what you want... I want a family. I want us to work. For real.
Liar. He’d put on quite a show for her, acting his part as her husband to draw out Regina. Maybe he did want a family, but not for the same reasons she did. Obligation compelled him, not any burning desire to fall in love and share every intimacy with a woman. Her.
The fresh sting of tears threatened.
Jocelyn flung open her suitcase and began throwing clothes inside. Her cell phone rang. She didn’t even look to see who called. Trevor’s obligation would bring him here, make him go after her, to convince her to go along with his plan. Heartless plan. For a man who tried so very hard to be the polar opposite from his father, he failed miserably. Not the killer part, but the family part. He’d never have what he wanted if he continued to shut himself off to close relationships.
He had formed close relationships with his siblings. Why did he have so much trouble with women?
Maybe it wasn’t all women. Maybe it was just her.
This marriage doesn’t feel right...
Sigmund hopped up onto the bed with a meow, a deep growl. He sensed her distress. Jocelyn picked him up and held him, scratching the back of his neck behind his ears.
“It’s just you and me again, Siggie.” She kissed the top of his head and then looked into his soft eyes. “But we don’t have much time.” She did not want to be around when Trevor found a way here.
She put Sigmund down and finished tossing clothes into the suitcase. After gathering her toiletries, she put the cat into his carrier and then left the building.
Tucking the cat carrier onto the passenger seat, she sat behind the wheel and started off, on her way to a new life. Where should she go? If she went to her condo, Trevor would find her. She needed time to think. To figure out what she’d do.
Maybe Trevor would stay away. As torn as he’d sounded, he might be glad she left.
No. He’d find her. For the baby, not her. The more that gnawed at her, the angrier she became. Didn’t he care how she felt about all of this? So far he’d only expressed his concern for the baby. Again, the baby did take priority, but she mattered in this situation, too.
As she drove down Main Street, she noticed a car behind her. At first she didn’t think anything of it, but when she turned to head for the highway, the car followed.
She couldn’t see the driver.
Testing, Jocelyn turned off the road onto a side street. When the car turned with her, she fought a rush of apprehension. Sigmund meowed, reminding her she had to be careful not to injure him with a high-speed getaway attempt. She’d have to be careful losing this tail. She had more than a cat to worry about. Her baby. She had to protect the tiny, helpless life inside her.
“Great,” she muttered. “Great timing. Get me while I’m low.” Well, she’d give all she had getting away. If she played this right, she might be able to make an arrest. She was an FBI agent. Trained for situations like this. Trevor and his false leading to the prospect of living as a wife and mother had gotten to her, made her soft.
Jocelyn dug into her purse and removed her pistol, flicking off the safety. Placing the gun on her lap, she turned onto another street that would take her to the police station—if she needed the backup.
A mile from the turn to the station, the driver behind her sped up and rammed into the back of the SUV. The impact jolted Jocelyn, her seat belt tightening. Sigmund meowed, a more urgent growl than earlier.
Gunfire and shattering glass added to the chaos. The driver shot at her! Regina.
“Okay.” Jocelyn sped up and rolled down her window. “Hang on, Sigmund!” When she gained some distance from Regina, she turned the SUV into a hard one
-eighty, picking up her gun as the SUV spun in front of Regina’s car.
Jocelyn fired. Regina ducked and swerved her car as Jocelyn screeched full circle so that she now faced Regina’s front bumper.
“You want to play bumper cars?” Jocelyn sped forward, ramming Regina’s car and holding the pistol outside the window, firing again.
Regina reversed and veered out of the bigger SUV’s way, then floored her vehicle and raced away. Jocelyn turned around and chased after her. Continuing to fire. The rear window of the car shattered with the fourth strike. Jocelyn’s aim was off, but she came close to her mark when the next bullet broke the rearview mirror.
“I bet you didn’t think you were coming after an armed woman!” Jocelyn yelled. “That’s right. I’m FBI!” Regina didn’t know that yet. Jocelyn firing at her might get her wondering, but she wouldn’t guess the truth. Not yet.
Reaching speeds beyond ninety and the lights of town fading as she chased Regina on the highway, Jocelyn slowed. She’d let Regina go for now. She had other issues to deal with tonight.
Chapter 11
“Where the hell is she?” Trevor had searched every inch of Ethan’s house. Jocelyn was nowhere to be found. No one had seen her leave.
Sick with worry, Trevor ran his fingers through his hair.
“Your SUV is gone.” Ethan closed the front door after searching outside. He hadn’t been out there long.
She’d taken his SUV? Trevor stared at Ethan, unable to fathom what would make her do such a thing.
“She seemed fine,” Lizzie said. “Except I did say you were like Ethan in that you didn’t want kids.”
“What?”
“She had diarrhea of the mouth,” Zoe said. “But she’s right. Jocelyn did seem fine. She didn’t seem bothered much by that comment. Lizzie was only explaining how Ethan used to be like that, and Trevor is going down a similar path.”
Lizzie folded her arm and put her fingers beneath her lower lip, thinking. “She did rush off to the bathroom. I think it did bother her.” She looked regretfully at Ethan, who went to her.
“You didn’t say anything to make her run off.” He looked over at Trevor. “Something else must have done that.”
Josie and Holly exchanged baffled looks.
Sam entered from the patio. “She’s not out back.”
“Not in the basement, either.” Chris came to a stop in the living room, where the rest had gathered.
“The bathroom is across from the room where Sam and I talked,” Trevor spoke the dawning thought aloud. “The door was open.”
“I shut it,” Sam said.
“It didn’t close all the way.” Apprehension crowded Trevor. She’d heard him tell Sam how uncertain he felt over their marriage.
After the progress they’d made, after the incredible lovemaking and intimate talks, she’d likely assumed the worst. She must think he’d lied. He hadn’t, but he also hadn’t lied about their marriage.
“I need a car.” Trevor headed for the door.
“Take my truck,” Ethan said, going to the entry table and handing him the keys.
“Thanks, brother.”
As he left, an ominous premonition weighed down. Jocelyn was alone, upset. She might not pay attention when she needed to most. And Trevor wasn’t there to protect her and their baby.
The premonition only grew worse when his phone rang and he saw Chief Murray’s name.
“We received a call reporting gunshots fired approaching the highway north of town,” the chief said. “Witnesses said a female driver with dark hair was shooting at a woman in an SUV.”
Trevor cursed. “Jocelyn.” Where was she now?
“The shooter left and the SUV turned around and drove away. No one’s seen it since.”
At least he knew she was alive. But if Regina found her, what then?
He had to find her first.
* * *
By the time Trevor tracked Jocelyn to a pet-friendly hotel, she’d already checked out. Relief tempered his worry. She hadn’t answered any of his calls, but she’d spent a safe night at an out-of-the-way hotel. With Sigmund, who’d probably curl up and cuddle with Regina herself.
After going to her condo and waiting there, Trevor left and returned to the apartment. Jocelyn wouldn’t go anywhere Regina would think to look, but she might come back to the apartment to finish the job. One thing he knew about Jocelyn; she did not quit.
How much did Regina now know about Jocelyn? That she was armed, for sure. But would she suspect the police were onto her? She might vanish again. Or she may want Jocelyn dead now more than ever. Who dared go against a woman shunned? One who lived in a demented fantasy, believing her fiancé would marry her even though he’d left her for another long ago.
Trevor paced to the front window and checked the time. It had been hours since Jocelyn had checked out of the hotel. He had every police officer in the county on the lookout for her or his SUV.
Just when he began to fear for her life with renewed urgency, he heard her come up the stairs to the apartment. Facing the door, he turned from the window and watched her enter. She had Sigmund in her arms and a duffel bag slung over her shoulder. She put the cat down and then the bag. Sigmund meowed and ran to his favorite spot on the couch. Jocelyn stood at the door. Trevor didn’t know what to say. She’d come back. That was all that mattered.
She seemed at a loss, like him.
“I see you stayed at a hotel,” he finally said. “Where’ve you been all morning?”
She walked into the apartment, going to the window and standing beside him, looking down at the street.
“She isn’t here,” he said.
Jocelyn eyed him intuitively. “You know about the chase?”
“Witnesses reported the gunshots and described you and my SUV.”
Nodding, she broke their eye contact and went to the other side of the white kitchen table. “We need to talk.”
Trevor recalled himself saying something similar to her after they’d first slept together. Now he felt what she must have felt.
“Jocelyn, about what I said—”
Holding up her hand, she interrupted. “Don’t try to explain that. I heard you. I understood you. I came back to tell you I’m going to finish this case, and then I’m going to ask for a transfer. I won’t go far. You’ll be able to see our child. I’ll be fair with the visitation.”
“No. We can make this work.”
“On your terms?” Curbed anger clipped her tone. “No, we can’t. I’m going to be a single mom.”
Her certainty punched him in the stomach, pulling and sinking with dread. “You didn’t hear the rest of what I said to Sam.”
“And I don’t want to, Trevor. I’ve listened to your empty words too much. You made me believe this was real, when you must have had serious doubts all along. You should have been honest with me.”
“I was honest. The truth is, I’m confused over the way I feel.”
“Any man who grew up in your family environment, might be. I’m not blaming you. There’s nothing either of us can do about the way we feel. We’ll just have to make the best of it.”
“We’re still married, Jocelyn. I don’t want a divorce.”
“We don’t need one. I filed for an annulment this morning. That’s where I went after I checked out of the hotel.”
An...annulment? Trevor went cold inside. “You can’t get an annulment. I didn’t coerce you and there was no fraud involved.”
“No, but you didn’t wait seventy-two hours after getting the marriage license to marry me.” She stepped over to him and touched him with her pointed finger. “That made it easy.”
He could kick himself just then. He’d thought of that at the time, but he’d been in such an almighty hurry to get her to
an altar that he’d dismissed the possible repercussions. He supposed he’d thought once he made her his wife, he could keep her. But now this.
Taking her finger, he held her hand and lowered it to their sides. “I want more than visitation.”
“Yes, you’ve made that abundantly clear. I have one question for you.”
“Okay.”
“What about me?”
What about her? What was she talking about? Their child would be raised by two parents together, not each of them taking a part-time role. And they’d have lots of great sex. Love. Jocelyn wanted it all. Well, so did he, but they’d been rushed into this. Didn’t she understand that? Couldn’t she just go with it?
“I’ll take care of you,” he said.
“You don’t want this marriage.”
“I don’t want to rush into it like this. You must agree about that much.”
She blinked a few times, averted her head and didn’t respond.
“I think we share the same feelings in that regard,” he said.
“We don’t share the same feelings about staying married for the baby.”
The baby wasn’t enough for her. She needed more from him and he wasn’t sure he could give that to her. He had so many doubts, about himself, about his adolescence, about the future.
“Don’t get an annulment.” He all but pleaded.
“It’s too late. I already filed. The only way you’re going to have me is if you give me a real wedding. And I’ll know if it’s real or not, Trevor. You won’t be telling your brother how much you regret the one we had in Vegas.”
“I don’t regret it.”
“Yes, you do.”
He didn’t, but she wouldn’t believe him, not after hearing him talk frankly to Sam. She didn’t understand that he hoped it would work between them. He’d be a fool not to hope for that. Anyone, any normal person, would want that. True love. Happiness. Only one problem stood in his way—his uncertainty that he was normal with a serial killer for a father.
Following her into the bedroom, he watched her put her wedding ring into a jewelry box. He didn’t stop her. How could he? All he could do was work on getting her to put it back on.
A Baby for Agent Colton Page 14
