by kj lewis
Wetting a paper towel, I wipe my face in hopes I’ll gain some composure. What did he mean five guys? I slide the laptop towards me and Google Emme James. The video has gone viral, and there are already pages popping up devoted entirely to me and the video. Finding a link to the full video, I push play. I’m a minute into it when the video connection is lost. I try the next link. Then the next. It takes me several minutes to piece together that Charlie and his team must be taking the videos down one by one. It’s already out there. I don’t know what they think they will accomplish. It’s futile at this point.
Closing out a browser page, the screen goes to Graham’s email. There’s one from Charlie titled “Full Video.” I open the email, and the video embedded in it and watch in dismay as it plays out in front of me. It’s dark and grainy, but you can clearly see Evan and hear his words. I remember being in that room once. It was his first frat party, and I had come to Memphis for the weekend. We had broken up before I came to New York. I remember I had too much to drink. Somehow I ended up at a girlfriend’s room later that night, but I don’t remember how I got there.
The video shows us having sex, Evan calling my name as he fucks me, and you can tell I’m crying. Evan passes out a minute before I do. There’s about thirty minutes where we’re completely out before you see Evan leave. After another fifteen minutes or so, his frat brothers, some I vaguely remember, the others I don’t recognize at all, come into the room where Evan has left me passed out in the nude.
“Fuck me. Evan’s girl is hot as shit,” one of them says running his fingers down my middle from my neck before he shoves his fingers inside of me. I’m unresponsive. He lifts my arm and it falls heavy to the bed. You can hear the other guys laugh as he picks up an empty beer bottle and uses it to replace his fingers. The guys start pulling out their phones and take pictures. It’s only then I begin to stir, dazed when I see the guys. I appear to try to get my bearings when the guy starts moving the bottle in and out while another one fingers me.
“What a slut. She fucking likes it,” a voice off camera says. You can see the guys starting to rub themselves. The guy who appears to be the ring leader leans over.
“You want this?” he asks. I mumble something incoherently as he begins to screw me. How did I not know this was happening? Someone had to have drugged me. I never even wanted to sleep with Evan.
“On your knees,” he says and pushes me onto the floor with no distress. “Eiffel tower dude.” He says to someone off camera. He enters me from behind, while the other guy starts fucking my mouth, gagging me, causing me to throw up, while they high five their hands over me. From there it’s a continuation of each one taking their turn, at one point every opening of my body is being violated. This is too violent. I would have known.
This time I don’t make it to the sink, throwing up on the floor next to me. My body feels like it’s been hit by a Mack truck. I sit on the edge of the stool trying to gain a moment of strength to clean up the mess I made, when movement on the video catches my eye. Clicking on it, I zoom in to the shadow on the side of my hip. It’s the shape of a horseshoe. I start it again and fast forward. The guys have left and I’m getting dressed. For the first time there is a close up of my face, and my shaking hand covers my mouth to catch the horrified gasp. It’s not me in the video, it’s Addie.
Addie has a birthmark on her hip that mimics the shape of a horseshoe, but I don’t need that to know. When she comes into focus on the camera, I know my sister. Tears spring to my eyes. I would know her anywhere. The images I’ve just watched come flooding back and I double over throwing up again at the thought of everything she endured that night.
“It’s going to be okay.” Teague’s arms come around me, holding me until my body finally stops dry heaving. Helping me to a chair, he holds me against him. Once he feels sure I’m finished throwing up, he lifts me and carries me to the shower.
“Take care of her. I’ll help Vinnie clean up.” It’s only then I realize Joy is here, too.
“Emme. I know it doesn’t look like it, but it’s going to be okay. I promise. You are loved by too many people for this to not work out.” Her words are meant to be reassuring, but I’m so far over the brink that they don’t stick. Turning on the water in the shower, she removes my soiled clothing.
“You’ll feel better once you shower,” she says, guiding me in by my elbow. My mind feels like it’s on repeat and the only thing it’s playing is Graham’s anger and my sense of helplessness about the rape of my sister.
“How long has she been standing there?”
“Twenty minutes.” I hear Joy answer.
“I got it from here. Thanks.” My eyes locked on one piece of tile, the movie reel playing over and over. “Let’s get you clean,” Jules says entering the shower in only a t-shirt. Her eyes hold mine for a few minutes before she finally nods in understanding. Slowly, she begins to rinse the vomit off me, washing my hair and my body before helping me out of the shower.
“Why don’t you stay here today?” she suggests.
I just shake my head, still unable to speak, while she continues to dry me off.
“She wants to go in,” she says to Joy standing behind me.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Joy asks.
“No. But it’s what she wants. If she’s going in, we need to make her look fierce. Dress her in armor.”
Joy gets my bra and panties on before sitting me in front of the mirror to dry my hair and do my makeup.
“I know she doesn’t usually wear makeup, but I think she’s running a fever and she looks like a walking zombie. If she’s going to pull this off, she has to have some help,” Joy says.
“You look beautiful,” Jules says kissing the top of my head. Exhaling a long breath, I stand on my own for the first time since this morning and walk into the closet. Jules has picked out a fitted dress that hugs every curve.
“I definitely won’t be hiding in this dress,” I say absently as I step into it.
“Good. You have nothing to hide from,” Jules says forcefully with every ounce of protection she has. She winks at me. “If this is what you want, you’re ready. You can do this. Don’t give them the satisfaction of letting them see you off your game. Head held high. You are in control.”
“I’m not,” I tell her honestly.
“As far as they know, you are in control.”
She studies me for a minute to make sure I’m not going to lose my resolve. “You don’t have to do this.”
Looking at myself in the mirror, I reflect over the morning. Graham’s hurt and helplessness over the situation. The video being played over and over by people who have no idea who my sister was, or what she was thinking as she was being raped. She may have appeared to be giving consent, but I know Addie. Something else was going on and she was unquestionably altered by drugs and/or alcohol.
“I’m not ready,” I tell Jules.
“No. You’re not. When you are, you’ll tell me. Until then, fake it till you make it. Repeat after me,” Jules says placing both her hands on each of my shoulders. “I can do this.”
“I can do this.”
“I’m strong.”
“I’m strong.”
“I’m in control.”
“I’m in control.”
“I don’t give a fuck what others think.”
“I don’t care what others think.”
Jules smiles at my response. “There she is. Teague is waiting for you.”
“Do we know where Graham is?”
“Adam is looking for him. He’ll make sure he’s safe. I’m sure it was a shock to him. He might need a little time.” I can tell she doesn’t feel the conviction of her words, but is holding back on her true thoughts.
“I understand. Control is everything to him and right now he has none.”
“You are everything to him and right now he feels helpless.”
I place a kiss on her forehead before pulling her into a tight hug. I can feel her relax ag
ainst me with relief.
“I’m ready,” I announce to Teague as I enter the living area.
“I don’t know about this.” Teague stands over me. He looks larger than ever to me today. Like his anger and protectiveness is swelling from within him.
“I’ll be okay. No one is going to make me hide.” I look him in the eye so he knows I mean it. When he doesn’t acquiesce right away, I put my arms around him. “I’m alright,” I whisper to him, breaking the last of his resolve as his arms encompass me. He finally nods in agreement.
“We love you, Emme. It doesn’t matter what’s on that video.” He runs his thumb over my cheek. “Graham does too. He just needs some time.”
I hear Teague, but I don’t respond. I don’t want to talk about Graham anymore.
I thank Vinnie before I leave, assuring her that I’m okay.
“Will there be someone with her today?” I ask Teague before grabbing my purse.
“Smith already has the apartment surrounded. Vinnie will have someone with her 24/7. No one will be bothering her.”
“I have 72 missed calls,” I tell Teague as we pile into the car. My phone rings as I’m scrolling through them. More than fifty are from Evan. “Mostly from Evan,” I say distractedly. Teague tries to reach for it when it rings again, but I pull back just in time.
“Hi Dad,” I answer. “I’m okay.” I have to hold the phone away from my ear when I’m assaulted with the intense volume of his apoplectic rage. I hear Eloise in the background taking the phone from him.
“Emme, I am so sorry we aren’t there with you.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay,” I reassure her. “Make sure Harry doesn’t stroke out.”
“We should be in Memphis in about ninety minutes. The ambulance will be meeting us. Once we have Addie loaded we will be headed back. We will be there this afternoon.”
“No hurry. There’s nothing you could be doing here. Kyle is with you right?”
“He is. He’s angry, but he has a job to do, so I think he is trying to focus his helplessness on that.” I feel sorry for her that she is stuck in the air with two irate males.
“How is Graham?” she asks. “Emme?” she says after a beat.
“I’m here.”
“I asked you a question,” she says with more force.
“He’ll be ok.” It’s all I can think to say.
“Let me talk to him.”
“He’s not with me right now,” I answer quietly.
“I see.” I can hear the ice in her voice that only a mother can have when she feels her child is being mistreated.
“What?” Harry says in the background, clearly picking up on his wife’s tone.
“Don’t get him started. Graham just needs some time. It was a shock,” I tell her, but it’s too late, she has handed the phone back to Harry.
“Where is he?” Harry asks.
“I’m not sure. Adam is with him. Dad, this is hard on him. He just needs some time.”
“Bullshit. It’s hardest on you. He should be there.”
“He will be. Just give him some space. For me. Please.”
“I love you, Emme. I’ll be home as soon as I can be.” He placates me and keeps the rest to himself.
“Love you too, Dad.” I hang up and take a deep breath. Teague puts his hand in mine when he sees the beginning of a lip quiver.
“Strong,” he says simply and I lock my shit down.
“Drop me off at the front,” I instruct Myles.
“No. Garage,” Teague says.
“I’m not hiding.”
“No, you’re not. I’m also not throwing you to the wolves.”
“Front Myles,” I say again.
Teague reluctantly gives Myles the okay and we pull up to the front entrance. Security has put up rope to block off a walkway to the door. Paparazzi and news crews are lined up on both sides.
“Stay in the car until I open your door,” Teague says before exiting the car.
I have on my dark shades, shielding my true thoughts from them as Teague escorts me to the door. I’m peppered with questions.
“Emme, how long have you and Evan been having an affair?”
“Emme, we have confirmed reports you were a call girl.”
“Emme, did Graham pay you for sex?”
“Emme, what do you say to reports that you planted the video?”
“Emme, what do you say to the Forrester family calling you a whore?”
That last question is almost enough to break my resolve as we walk through the doors and straight into the waiting elevator.
“Just breathe,” Teague says. “You made it.”
The doors open on the 43rd floor. Graham moved my office up here after Tony’s box kicked me out of my old one. Construction begins next week to connect my office to Graham’s and our one-bedroom apartment.
“Mrs. Taylor.” Cassie is waiting for me with a Diet Coke.
“Cassie.” I give her a reassuring nod when I see the apprehension on her face.
“Miss Conway is in your office.”
“Thanks, Cassie. Any messages?” I ask entering my office.
“Yes, ma’am. You have over four-hundred messages and requests for interviews.”
“Only give me messages that are related to work or family. The others delegate to Charlie’s office, along with any calls you receive from here out.” I set my purse down. “Ask Charlie to come to my office when he has his first available minute, please.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Is my husband here?”
“Not that I am aware ma’am. I’ll ask George to let me know when he arrives.”
“Thank you. Cassie. Are you okay?”
“Ma’am?” She halts her exit and looks at me confused.
“Are you okay? I know it wasn’t easy to answer all those calls.”
“Don’t worry about me, ma’am,” she says, squaring her shoulders. I can see her loyalty to me in her manner. “Can I get you anything?”
“Just keep these coming.” I hold up my Diet Coke.
“Yes, ma’am.” Her smile is the first ray of sunshine I’ve seen today.
“If you continue to have the call volume, pull someone from Adam’s staff to help you with them.” I close the door.
“I’m okay.” I hold up both of my hands to stop Colleen before she pummels me with that question and an uncharacteristic hug. I have finally found my footing and I might unravel if she touches me.
“I know you’re not. I’m not.”
“It’s going to be okay. Bad things happen to good people all the time. We can’t control everything.”
“If you had been honest with me, I could have controlled this.”
“Why, because you have money? Money doesn’t fix everything.”
“It would have fixed this. I guarantee they would have sold for the money I would have offered. I don’t understand. Harry and I both would have paid. Why would someone release this without trying to get money?”
“I didn’t know about the tape.”
“Mrs. Taylor,” Cassie interrupts us. “Evan Willis is in the lobby asking to see you.”
“Really, the lobby. Could he have been more public about it?” I say aloud. “They know he’s here now, so might as well show him up.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Colleen says. “You should talk to Graham first.”
“Since Graham isn’t speaking to me right now, I guess I’ll have to make this decision on my own.”
“What do you mean Graham isn’t speaking to you?” She asks visibly having to hold on to her self-control.
“Just give him some time. He’s had a lot to adjust to this morning. He’ll come around.” I am not sure if it’s true or if I keep saying it to convince myself that it’s true.
“Mr. Willis,” Cassie says opening my door.
“Would you excuse us please?” I look at Colleen as Evan enters the room.
“Does the expression ‘when hell freezes over’ mea
n anything to you?”
I roll my eyes before turning my attention to Evan who looks uncomfortable at the thought of having an audience.
“What do you want Evan?” I ask him.
“I’ve been calling you.”
“I’ve been a little busy.”
“Emme, you have to believe me that I didn’t take that video.” He steps towards me. I take a step backwards as Colleen takes a step forward, stopping Evan.
“Then who did?” she asks.
“The guys in my frat. They had the camera to the computer on and I didn’t know it. I would have never videoed us.”
“Was this your first time to see the video?” I ask.
“Yes. Since it was released without notification or a request for money, my dad’s campaign team thinks it is intended to be a smear tactic.”
“That is what my team thinks too,” Charlie says entering before closing the door behind him.
“Mr. Willis, I’m going to need you to leave. You cannot come back here and you need to cease all communications with Mrs. Taylor until we have this under control. I will work with your father’s campaign manager and continue to deal with this in a manner that will not violate either of your privacy again moving forward.”
“Emme,” Evan says. “I had…”
“Get the fuck out!” Graham cuts Evan off, bulldozing into my office, Adam hot on his trail.
“I just need to talk to her,” Evan manages to say before Graham grabs him throwing him against the wall. Graham lands a punch to the face before Adam and Charlie are able to restrain him.
“You left her,” he shouts. “How could you leave her like that? How could you let them do that to her? You piece of shit. Get the fuck out of here and stay the fuck away from my wife, or I will destroy you and your family.”
“Graham!” I yell.
“Let go of me!” He pulls out of Adam and Charlie’s hold and tries to slow his breathing. Ben has entered the office.
“Leave. Now,” Graham says to Evan.
Evan wipes the blood from the corner of his lip before he leaves my office. Graham never takes his eyes off him.
