by kj lewis
“You look adorable in your scarf thing,” he says, indicating he doesn’t know what to call it.
“Turban.” My fingers lace through his as I open the door and we make our way back to Teague’s room.
“I thought you had left without saying goodbye,” Teague teases when we enter.
“Emelia, Joy. Would you mind if I had a minute alone with Teague please?” Graham politely dismisses us.
“I’m going to the Hampton’s this afternoon,” I tell Joy, leaning against the wall once we are outside.
“What?” Her voice is unsure and slightly accusing. “But Teague needs you.”
“No he doesn’t. He needs you.”
“Emme. I don’t know if that’s true.”
“Joy. You love him, and he loves you. You have never needed me in your relationship, you don’t need me now. He needs to rely only on you and I need to let that happen. Plus, he’s here where Matt will be with him. When he’s in a regular room and once he’s home, I’ll be with him. I’ll cover while you have to work.”
“Okay. I don’t know how he’s going to feel about it, though. He falls asleep and wakes up calling for you. In his dream he doesn’t know that he saved you. He thinks you were shot, and I don’t know how to make it better.”
“If I thought for a minute that I was what Teague needed, I would be here. The truth is, you are who he needs. It’s going to take time for both of us.”
Graham opens the door, and we go back in.
“I have to go.” He leans down and kisses me. “Make sure you keep Biggie Smalls close,” he winks with a gleam in his eye that wasn’t there earlier. It’s the sign I need to know we are going to make it through this.
“He’s got it bad,” Teague says after Graham leaves.
“He should. He’s my husband. How are you sleeping?”
“I’m in and out and it’s hard to sleep with nurses coming in here at all hours.” He sidesteps telling me about the dreams.
“It’s only been one night,” I remind him. “I’m going to the beach house for a couple of days.”
“I thought Graham said he had a big meeting?” he asks with a furrowed brow.
“He does. I’m going without him after I go visit Pearl.”
“Emme. What the hell!” His voice raises a few octaves.
“Don’t worry. Smith has me paired with four men as it is, and there will be another four already there. I have to and you know it.”
“Who’s going with you to the beach house?”
“Biggie Smalls and three others.”
“Ah.” He musters up a smile. “You’ve met Julius. Smith did good. I trust Julius.” He relaxes.
“He did good when he hired you, too.” I reach for his hand. “I know Joy will take care of you, and if I thought you needed me I would stay. But you don’t and I have to go where I can get this ringing out of my ears.”
“Tinnitus. It’s common around gunshots.”
“Maybe, but I need some time. Like you do. Just remember, I’m here because of you.”
He nods, but still doesn’t open up about his dreams.
After I finish with Teague, I spend a little time with Addie before leaving the hospital. I realize I’m procrastinating a little bit. My next visit might be the hardest.
“Duchess.” She hugs me to her. I help her to the couch and we sit together looking at pictures of the boys. Some of her family is in from Virginia, and they chime in with their stories.
“Any life lost at this age is a tragedy,” Pearl says. “But I choose to celebrate the time we had.” Her finger absently runs over a black and white picture of the boys when they were little.
“I’ll take care of the funeral arrangements. Do you have a specific place you want them buried?”
“I’d like to have them cremated and spread their ashes with their mama’s.” She hands me two pictures. “I thought maybe you could have these blown up and framed, and we could have the ceremony at First Baptist.”
“I’ll make sure it’s arranged.”
“I need five days for the rest of the family to get here.”
“Okay. Pearl, what are your plans? Graham and I would like to move you somewhere safer. You could move in with us if you need to. We can get you your own apartment. We could put you in a place with friends your own age. You could play bingo and make out with dirty old men.”
She laughs. “Duchess. I don’t need any of that. I think I’ll move to Virginia with my sister. She needs someone to keep her in shape.”
“I think that sounds lovely. Let me know when you want to make the move and I will make sure it’s taken care of.”
“Just take care of you baby. You can’t save the world.” I run my hands over hers. They’re soft and have a map of a lifetime on them.
“There is one thing I would like you to do.”
“You name it,” I say, absently tracing the protruded veins in her hands.
“I’d like you to play at the funeral. A hymn. ‘It Is Well With My Soul.’ Do you know it?” she asks, and the family all voice little acclamations of praise and prayers. They are obviously strong in faith like Pearl.
“I’m from the south. Of course I know it. But Pearl, it’s been a long time since I’ve played in front of an audience.”
“Then you better practice.” Her no nonsense response makes me smile. I feel like Terrance and Reggie are smiling, too.
“They took Olivia this morning. The state did. They have rules they said when two parents have passed.”
“Did you want to take her to Virginia with you?” I’m not sure she has it in her to raise another child.
“I don’t want her to end up with the state.”
“Did they leave a card? I can call them or have one of Graham’s lawyers call and make sure that doesn’t happen. You’re the next living relative. I am sure it won’t be an issue.”
“Thank you, Duchess. You’re my last living child.” She strokes my hand and her family observes me fondly, just like they greeted me when I arrived.
I spend a while longer with the family, making sure all their needs have been met, and give them the hotel information that Graham texted me. He had George take care of rooms so Pearl wouldn’t have to worry about where everyone would stay or how to pay for it.
“Out in one piece. That’s what we like,” Julius says once we are back on the road. “You sure you don’t want to fly down, Mrs. Emme?”
“No, I want the time to drive and listen to music.”
“I understand. We going straight to the house?”
“No. I’m going to the stables to ride and then to the beach house.”
“Got it.” He’s relaxed and I find it has a calming effect on me.
I have a cello already at Pemberton Place, so there’s not really anything I need other than a car of my own to drive once we make it back to the apartment. We’re on the road by one, and I’m pleased that I will have time to ride Scout for an hour or so before its dark. The dashboard rings pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Hey, babe.”
“You’re on the road?” Graham asks.
“I am. How is your meeting going?”
“It’s going as expected. Thank you for asking. We are still ironing things out. They want me to give more than I’m willing and that isn’t going to happen, so we’re in a waiting game.”
“That you will win of course.”
“Yes. If you could tell them that so it doesn’t take all afternoon that would be great. How far along are you?”
“I’m out of the city. Probably a couple more hours.”
“Okay. Be careful. I’ll know if you speed.”
“And?”
“Don’t you worry about the ‘and.’ I’ll take care of the ‘and.’”
“Looking forward to it, Mr. Taylor.” I press my foot to the gas, remembering what Pearl said earlier…little by little we come back to ourselves.
I’m about an hour away when I’m interrupted again.
&n
bsp; “Emme. What the fuck!” Jackson says muffled over the speaker.
“I’m okay.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. We were on some trek thing, so I didn’t get the email from Graham until just a few minutes ago. Patrick has me chasing lions and tigers and bears, oh shit, when he can’t even kill a spider.”
“Bitch!” I hear Patrick in the background.
“Seriously. Who does a honeymoon before the ceremony? In the safari, no less.”
“You know this was best for Patrick’s schedule, and we do things for the ones we love.”
“I know, and I do. I love the crazy boy for some reason.”
We talk for about thirty minutes, and I make it out of the conversation in better shape than I expected, and with just a short drive left to get to the stables.
I have a lovely time riding Scout. He’s happy to see me. I had planned to ride alone, but was willing to sacrifice that if Julius would have agreed to riding with me. Just the thought of him on a horse had me tickled. He of course was not as amused. I finish early enough to have a few minutes to catch up with Blaine’s mom. I make a mental note to call him next week. She mentions he’s lonely on the tour.
The house greets me with its creepy voice when I enter. Graham is going to have to change that voice. It doesn’t do it for me. I don’t know where the security detail stays when they are here, but the house feels lonelier than I anticipated, and I wonder if I made the wrong choice. I roll up my jeans and take a walk along the beach. The water is freezing, but it’s a nice deterrent from my thoughts. Being out of the city is what I needed, but I do wish Graham was here. I walk for a little more than an hour before making my way back to the house. There are more lights on than I when I left, but I think to myself that they must be on a timer. Entering the kitchen, I smell something delicious cooking.
“Hello?” I ask tentatively, looking in a pot and trying to place the song playing over the speakers.
“Emme!” Shrieks fill the room and my girls enter. Jules, Becca, and Amanda .
“What are you doing here?” I ask, hugging each of them.
“Graham thought you might want some company,” Jules says.
“He’s right. I am so glad you all are here.” I throw my arms around them in a group hug.
“Dinner is almost ready,” Amanda says. “We’re having Mexican.”
“And Tequila!!” Becca shouts, throwing her arms in the air singing about putting a lime in a coconut.
Dinner is delicious and filled with laughter. The girls don’t push me to participate or care if I even laugh at all. They just let me sit and they work at lifting my spirits.
“This house is ah-may-zing.” Amanda draws out, already a little drunk just from the beer.
“It is. But I can’t take credit for it. Graham had it built before we even met.”
“But I can see your touches in each room and in the decorations you chose,” Becca says, setting out shot glasses and limes. “I hear my husband was caught kissing you today.”
I groan. “Please tell me Graham did not say something to you about that.” I shake my head dismayed.
“Nope. Matt did. He’s a good kisser isn’t he?” She waggles her eyebrows at me and ends up spilling a little of the Tequila. “Sauza 901 Tequila.” She shakes the bottle at me. “Because you’re Memphis.” Becca hands everyone a glass and a lime.
“Actually, the whole point of this tequila is you don’t need a lime,” I tell her, holding up the one she placed in front of me.
“No limes then.” Jules throws one over her shoulder, and the shots begin.
By the time the bottle is empty, my stomach is cramping from all the laughing, and my head is spinning from all the tequila.
We’ve changed into our pj’s and have created a pallet on the floor. I’m still in Graham’s t-shirt, but have on my thigh-high striped socks.
“Turn it up!” Becca jumps up, pulling us with her, and we all start dancing to The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside” before going taking it back with some RUN-DMC. Jules and I have partnered up, and in the middle of “Can’t Feel My Face,” I catch a movement from the corner of the room, finding Graham, Adam, and Smith watching us dance.
“Ladies,” Graham says authoritatively, turning off the music when the song ends. “When I said keep my wife company, I didn’t mean get her drunk.” He points to an empty bottle of tequila.
“We know what our girl needs.” I catch Becca as she stumbles towards me. “Okay. Maybe we’re a little more drunk than we realize.” She giggles, and it’s infectious to the rest of us.
“Amanda, and Becca, let’s go.” The boys each help them to their rooms before coming back for me and Jules.
“You’re wasted aren’t you?” Graham says, disapproving, worried, and amused all rolled into one.
“They were trying to make me feel better.” I champion my friends while the room is spinning.
“Did it work?” he asks sliding my socks off.
“It made me forget for a little while.” I lay back on the bed. “If you can make the room stop spinning, you can fuck me.”
“Enticing as that offer sounds, I think you need some rest,” he chuckles.
“Please?” I ask, more than serious.
He studies me for a minute before his head dips between my legs leaving me to wonder if the room really is spinning or if it’s just me.
“It was just a dream. There’s nothing on them. We washed it off, remember.” Graham rubs his fingers over mine gently.
Heart racing, I sprung up in bed only moments ago and ran to the bathroom sink to get the blood off my hands. It takes me a few breaths and Graham’s reassurance to understand it was just a bad dream.
“Here. Take these while you’re awake.” He hands me some ibuprofen and sparkling cranberry juice.
Pulling me into the crook of his arm, he moves my hair out of my eyes.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
“Like I helped drink two bottles of tequila. I’m pretty sure my tongue has been replaced with sandpaper.”
“You rarely drink, much less get drunk. Let’s try to make this the last time.” He disapproves but attempts to take it easy on me.
I don’t respond but nuzzle into him further. “How did your deal go? Did you save people’s jobs?” My hand is resting in the middle of his chest with my thumb moving back and forth in a repetitive pattern.
“We did.”
“I was surprised to see you. Are you going back this morning?”
“No. I brought George with me. We’re going to work out of the office here today. Get some rest, baby. I don’t want you to have a headache.” He tightens his grip on me.
He falls back to sleep before I do, but his breathing eventually lulls me back to sleep, too.
We wake around eight which is a late start for Graham. I stay in his t-shirt from the day before, but pull on some leggings before sliding into my same cardigan from yesterday. Graham follows my lead and pulls on jeans and a t-shirt. Adam is making breakfast when we come into the kitchen. Only Becca and Jules are up so far, both with their heads resting on the table.
“Good morning, sunshines.” I whisper my greeting to them.
“Morning ladies,” Graham says in his regular voice, showing no mercy.
“Why does he do that?” Jules asks, lifting her head to prop it in her hands. “And why do you look like you didn’t drink two bottles of tequila with us?”
“Graham.” Adam admonishes his brother while kissing Jules on the top of her head, placing a plate in front of Becca and her.
“I didn’t tell them to get my wife drunk,” he says, still sour.
“Your wife is grown and makes her own decisions.” Jules shoots him a look before cutting into her eggs.
“She’s got a point,” I concur. Graham offers her a glass of tomato juice as a peace offering.
“Adam and I have to work today. Why don’t you all have a spa day? Maybe do some shopping. My treat,” Graham offers.
/> “You all should do that,” I say.
“You’re not coming with us?” Becca asks.
“I’m going to stay here, but maybe we can cook dinner and stay in tonight. Just chill. Any chance Jim can fly the boys in if they are off tonight since tomorrow is Saturday?”
“That can be arranged,” Graham says.
“Maybe Matt will come.” Becca says. “They put Teague in a step down last night. Matt was so pleased with his progress. If Kyle is on, Matt would trust him to be on call for Teague for the night.”
“Yep. He could fly back tomorrow with us. He wouldn’t even have to skip a day in seeing Teague.”
Becca nods her agreement and picks up her phone to text him.
“Maybe the four of us could sit down and talk today if Mags is feeling up to it,” Adam says placing a plate in front of me, squeezing my shoulder.
“Okay. What about?” I reach for the pepper.
“Jules’ line. I want to talk through the business, since we are all four together. Might be as good of time as any.”
“Let’s play it by ear,” Graham says. “Thank you,” he says when Adam gives him his plate before finally sitting down with his own.
The girls take Graham up on his offer, and the men go to work in the offices, which leaves me some time alone. Opening the doors off the living room, I listen to the ocean for a minute before I start rehearsing the hymn. I was able to download and print the music from the internet. I make a few adjustments along the way, and play around with a version that moves from the hymn into Buckley’s “Halleluiah.” Taking a break from it, I move to Bach’s cello suite and other pieces I know by heart.
The girls will be gone a few more hours when I stop for some lunch and a nap on our bed outside. There’s a storm coming in and the waves calm my spirit. Graham’s arms pull me to him, and I realize I must have finally drifted off.
“I couldn’t find you,” he says with his nose in my hair like he’s inhaling me.
