I had been finishing my training to be a surgical tech so I knew I was in way over my head. However, I was Maggie’s only chance right now and I was working against the clock, since I didn’t have a time-line and I was pretty sure the Golden Hour was well over by now. I sealed the room with the pedal and set to work the moment I got her hooked up to the machines to read her vitals.
I removed her clothes, and then quickly rewashed and gloved my hands. I couldn’t allow her to die, even if it meant fighting God for her soul. I’d asked her to protect my brother and she’d ended up hurt because I’d given in to temptation.
I was startled when Lachlan pounded on the door. His eyes were filled with worry, but I spared him only a quick glance before getting to work. The red light was on outside the door, so hopefully he could figure out that this was a sterile room.
He was male, so it was possible he wouldn’t.
I cut into her side and searched for the wound, only I couldn’t find anything. I was so busy in the task at hand that I didn’t hear Lachlan when he entered or when he stepped on the suction tube pedal and started assisting. I looked up at him and almost moaned with relief when it became apparent that he knew what he was doing. He was scrubbed, gloved, and gowned just like I was.
“I don’t really know what I’m doing,” I admitted as I continued to search for a visual on the bleed.
“I do, ye will need tae assist me, Lass.”
“So, you could have helped your brother with that trap on your own?” I asked sourly.
“Aye, I wanted tae see if ye would, or if ye would leave him tae die. I also wanted to ken what ye were aboot in the house,” he said and cracked a little grin behind the mask which dimmed as he took in the damage of Maggie’s body.
We worked for hours, neither one of talking more than was needed. He didn’t ask what happened and I didn’t ask where the hell he’d been. I couldn’t because he’d flip it back on me and I wasn’t ready to admit what I’d been doing while my people were being slaughtered.
Maggie was stable when we placed her in in the nearby recovery room and started on the next person, and then the next. It felt like days before Addy finally told us that no one else had made it long enough to need surgery. The shelter still had residents, but all had been wounded, had fled, or had been hidden on the other levels and weren’t discovered by our attackers.
No supplies had been taken, nor had they come for our things. Had they come for me and my brother? I felt sick at the senseless acts, because I couldn’t think of anyone who’d want us dead, but there were always people trying to take what others had by force, and the possibility of the attackers being sent by my dad were close to zero.
“Lass, what the hell happened?” Lachlan asked as Liam fell in step beside him.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t here,” I croaked as tears choked my words.
“Where were ye?” he asked gently, but I could hear it in his voice that he already knew.
“I fucked up, okay? I’m human unlike everyone else here!” Tears slid from my eyes as I turned around only to find Jaeden standing in the doorway. “Close the doors,” I snapped and took off to wash the blood from my face and body.
“Emma?” he called as he got closer.
“Go back to your wife! Leave me alone, Jaeden. Just get the hell out of here. I can’t deal with you and this right now,” I growled angrily as yet another body was brought inside to be prepared for burial. They’d been burned with gas, which meant we could actually bury our own for once. I couldn’t handle him and do what needed to be done at the same time. I felt like two different people, or as if I had to be in order to be around him.
There was me with him, where I was careless and a little wild. Then there was me when I was here, and I had to be in full control, I had to lead. I didn’t know how to be both at the same time, and even if I didn’t believe his murderous, plotting whore of a wife, he’d left me without so much as a goodbye, and well, then there was the guilt I felt for being with him, instead of the people I was supposed to protect.
“What the fuck happened here?” Jaeden asked me, and then Lachlan when I refused to answer him.
“I dinnae smell any other vamps, or wolves. This was human or something else,” Lachlan said as I left them to discuss it without me.
“No human could have done this,” I heard Jaeden hiss at Lachlan as I retreated.
No, but whatever kind of monster I was, could have done this. Easily. From the timeline where Lachlan and his men had left, and from what Grayson and the other residents had told me, it had taken seconds to do this much damage in the attack.
We were getting caught up in an all-out war with rogue werewolves, but now I had to face the fact that I was going to have to find the person who had done this and kill them. I felt a bone deep coldness inside of me that would never go away. I’d done this. My careless, selfish actions had brought this upon us. Whoever it was had come to do harm, and had killed people who trusted me. Whatever the fuck they were, I wanted nothing from dirt bags that would harm innocent people.
Chapter 24
I’d slipped away to the shower room to get away from the males and the stench of the day. My mind was a mess of confusion and my heart felt as if it was bleeding. We’d been attacked, and I’d been in his arms for it. I couldn’t have stopped it from happening, but I could have given them a fight. Grayson told me it happened in the early morning hours, which meant the door had to have been opened by someone inside.
They shouldn’t have gotten through the doors, period. After I showered and changed into a fresh set of scrubs, I sat on one of the shower benches and pulled my legs to my chest as I mulled through the different scenarios. The thought that someone inside had allowed this to happen haunted me. Maggie was obviously off the list, and Lachlan and most of his men hadn’t been present for the attack. Those wolves he had left behind to protect the shelter had been wounded in the defense of it. The number of people on the shelter’s roster made it difficult to narrow down who had betrayed us.
I kept thinking over the concept map my father had in his room, and the lines which pointed to various people from around town. Others he’d suspected enough to question their motives, and their interactions with my mother. Some of those people had been in the shelter, and they’d made it through the attack without so much as even a scratch.
I didn’t need to know who had attacked us; it was becoming obvious to me. Whoever had done this came looking for something specific. Could it have been Grayson and I? That created a shit storm of questions. No one would want us unless we served a purpose. My mother had chosen our fathers specifically for their DNA and what part it was supposed to play in her fucked up scheme. I had a bad feeling about her and that entire situation, but this? Attacking women and children, which the shelter was full of? That was something I could never get past. This was unimaginable.
We had several dead, and none had been the girls I’d trained, but they’d been wounded and unable to assist the others to safety. Three wolves had also been wounded, which told me it had to be someone with knowledge of the supernatural since they’d been shot with silver nitrate. Lachlan had been quick to see it and show me how to heal them in case it ever happened again when he wasn’t here. He’d proven useful, and skilled in the sterile room. He obviously had medical training, and I would almost bet he’d earned his doctorate at some point in his long years.
I felt Jaeden’s presence, and could sense his anger. If it was directed at me, I couldn’t have cared less. I was hollow, and cold inside. My only thought was for the innocent lives that had been lost. I was blaming myself, and with good reason. I’d lost sight of what was important, and had become some brainless hussy who could think of little else, but him.
“This wasn’t your fault, and you can’t shoulder the blame,” he said as he sat beside me. He had left a small gap bet
ween us. Probably for the best. “You left before I could return this morning.”
“Your wife sent me home, right after you’d finished using me. She was even generous enough to give me something to wear before she told me to get out of her bedroom. You should really put a muzzle on that bitch.” Ouch, I sounded as cold as I felt.
“Is that what you think? That I used you, Emma?” his tone may have been soft, but I could hear the anger and possibly some hurt in it.
“Just like all the others she bragged about you two doing this to,” I said through clenched teeth. “Go away, Jaeden.”
“Not like this. Not when you believe that load of shit, and certainly not with you here shouldering the blame for this attack. You’re planning to hunt them down, but if they could do this, they had to have the numbers and cunning to do it. Let us help you.”
“You’ve helped me enough,” I said bitterly.
“So we’re going to play it like that? You regret staying with me last night,” he said with a cold smile.
I shoved my hair away from my face and leveled him with a look of cold disdain. “You’ve had your fun. Run back to Barbie, because I’m done playing around. I have one job to do and that’s this shelter. I shouldn’t have been with you, and I knew better. I don’t belong in your world any more than you belong in mine.”
“If that’s what you want, Emma, fine; you can think like that tonight, but not forever.” He leaned close and his husky voice in my ear sent sparks to other parts of my body, even after everything that had happened. “I’m not done with you though. I’ve tasted your desire and I’m not finished with you by a long shot. I understand the need to grieve, but you are too strong and stubborn; you don’t need to do the tough stuff alone,” he said reasonably.
“So what? You’ll just take it?” I snapped as I held back the tears of hopelessness I felt. He pulled slightly away to stare at me with hurt and angry eyes.
“You think so little of me that you think I’d take you with force? If two people meet and share a connection as we do, it changes us whether we want it or not. What we did last night wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg. You changed me, deeply and irrevocably. I get that right now you’re blaming yourself for being with me instead of where you were needed, but what the fuck could you have done? Addy told me what your brother said, and it sounds to me like they were here for something which they didn’t find. Someone they didn’t find. You’re not safe here, and I can protect you. The thing is, Emma, you must make a choice—to take a chance and trust me, or you could end up getting everyone you’re trying to protect killed.”
“It’s not that simple!” I cried.
“It is!” he shouted, getting to his feet. “I’ve lived for over a thousand years, and I’ve watched people make stupid decisions; let me help you. Let me protect you from whatever is trying to find you because I promise you, they know what they are doing, and this wasn’t just someone wanting what you have. This was personal. They have someone inside of this shelter, someone helping them to get to you. The people who were burnt? Your enemy knew that harming them would hurt you. That it would make you careless, and reckless to avenge them. Don’t be stupid. Life doesn’t always give you second chances, so take the first one. You were meant to die or be taken last night. Don’t give them another shot at you.”
“Get out,” I said no longer able to hide the tears. “Get out!” I screamed through tears that choked me. I hated him in this moment. He was wrong; I could have made a difference. Not one single bullet had been fired in defense, because like him, I was the general in my army. If I’d been here, this would have ended differently.
We wouldn’t have been so defenseless. I was pushing him away. I couldn’t even look at him without seeing the dead I’d have to bury this evening. He turned and left me sitting on the bench, and I sobbed. I thought he’d gone, but he wrapped his arms around me and held me through the worst of it.
When I thought I could cry no more, he placed his hands on my face and I did the same to him. I felt the weird sensation of being weightless, as if my entire world had faded away, and maybe it had. Before I knew what happened, I was transported from the showers to the crusades. Or at least, I think it was the crusades, going off the armor they wore and the ancient scene around me.
I looked around, and wondered at just who I’d slipped into this time. Last time it had been the battered woman, and I’d felt her pain. I looked down at my hands and bent my fingers. Manly fingers were covered in blood. I didn’t have long to wait to figure out who I was when Sven walked up and spoke in Jaeden’s language and this time I could understand. It had to be part of the craziness I was experiencing.
He continued speaking as he pointed to a pile of dead, cataloguing losses and gains, while a woman was screaming at Bjorn while he took her by force from behind. I didn’t feel sick as I should have; instead I felt pride consume me as I walked over to join in the debauchery.
The woman was terrified, but eventually her frightened screams turned to pleasure as Bjorn gave her what she wasn’t prepared for—his fangs. He drank deeply, and my own fangs responded. This was war, and in war there were spoils. Fucking King of England, this was not a war to recover the Holy Land for Christians; it was a sacking, plain and simple and to the victors go spoils.
“My turn,” I announced and watched as Bjorn shifted to his side, pulling her around without stopping what he was doing. The only indication he’d heard me was from his short respite of feeding from her.
“She’ll take us both,” he growled and rocked his hips as she moaned with the movement. “Won’t you?” She nodded at his words and I smiled coldly. I liked my women willing, but none had been as willing when we’d come to their shores at the beck and call of the king to claim their lands and loot their riches.
“What’s your name?” I asked of her as Bjorn spread her open for me to see his victory.
“Elizabeth,” she barely got out as I undid the tie of my trousers and pulled out my throbbing cock.
“I’m going to join my friend, do you mind if I fill you as well?” I asked, needing her to say yes. In all my years I’d never taken a woman who had told me no. Even war couldn’t change that, and when she screamed yes, I parted her legs and thrust inside of her willing pussy.
Men lay dead around us, their lifeless eyes staring into oblivion as we claimed their women. I watched as Sven undid his trousers, and pulled out his cock, and pressed it against her lips. She took it, even as he raised her hand to bite into her succulent wrist and drain her.
“Do not empty her; she deserves to live after she’s taken us all. Sven, if you wish, change her and place her in the ground,” I growled as Bjorn and I continued to fuck her tight holes together. This was often how we decided who our camp followers would be. Bloodlust often took hold after this much blood was spilled, and the result would leave me hard for days if not satisfied.
“Agreed, this nice of an ass is well deserving of my vote,” Bjorn said as he picked up his thrusting pace and Sven moaned in pleasure.
Seriously fucked up! I shook it off, but instead of being back in the shower as myself, I was still Jaeden and the people in the memory were dressed like something from a Renaissance Fair.
I watched as Astrid stood, watching my men, as they took willing partners wherever was convenient as was their custom. She turned and looked at me as I fought against one of the many men I was training. As her eyes sought me, I swung my sword with more vigor.
I hated that the pain was still there, even after all the time that had passed. I put her aside; renounced her, yet every time I caught sight of the woman, it was like rubbing an open wound with salt. Time may have lessened the desire I had for her, but the pain of her betrayals still stung. I swung again, only to catch sight of her naked flesh as she started to remove her gown.
I turned and had to keep my emotions in check, on
e slip and she would think I still struggled against the desire I had once felt for her. There was no way I would touch that viper now. It was bad enough to know what she had done; now, I was witness to her whoring ways. She got more cock than any of the camp followers and made sure I knew each time she accepted a new lover betwixt her legs.
Her creamy breasts became fully exposed and I clenched my fist with the need to pinch her nipples, hurt them. I have become dark with my needs, hating to be touched, or touching others. Fucking is one thing, but I no longer accept the same whore into my bed twice. I use them, and discard them quickly. Feelings are nothing more than a weakness, as I learned with Astrid.
I wanted our child, an heir to raise and love, and she’d killed him. He had been in her way of being fucked by every cock that held any value back when we were human. I stepped closer, and then reminded myself that I made her immortal, and I made that choice. She is my reminder as to why I should never trust, why I should hold myself back and take my time assessing a situation from all angles and why I have to hold my anger in check and not do anything rash. I renounced her in a fit of rage and Shamus saved her life by claiming her; redirecting the bond I had tried to sever. After what she pulled with the wolves, I would have killed her—no—should have been allowed to kill her. Now she runs amok and I have no say. Instead of reining her in, Shamus seems to find her lunacy amusing.
I can already feel my cock growing with the need to carnally punish her. She knows it. She can read me easily as she pushes the skirt from her hips and moves toward me. I shake my head, warning her that I want nothing to do with her. She smiled calculatingly. Her direction changed and she walked to one of her many lovers, one of Shamus’s captains. Her long nails dug into his shoulders as she pushed him to his knees and then gripped his hair. She shoved his face between her legs, and he obeyed with enthusiasm as her servant watched them.
Darkest Before Dawn Page 24
