"Dad, just take a deep breath, count to ten, and think of the baby panda bears. That's right, think of the baby panda bears..."
When Joe gets stressed out, the only thing to calm him down is to think about baby panda bears messily devouring baby dolphins.
"You don't understand!" Joe screamed. "That Picasso cost sixty-eight million dollars, and I only paid sixty-three up-front! I only have forty-eight hours to earn five million dollars before thugs break my fingers! Daddy doesn't want his fingers broken! You'll let Vinny and Axe-Face break your fingers in place of Daddy's, right? Right?!?"
"Ummmm..."
"My books will earn almost four million dollars in royalties by then, but that leaves us a million short! I need another book! I neeeeeeeed anooooooother boooooook!"
"Well..."
"Well? What well? What do you mean by well? Is that a good well? Oh, please let it be a good well! Please, Talon, let it be a good well!"
"I've been working on--"
"Yes!" Joe shouted, grabbing the pages out of his son's hand. "Yesssssss! You've saved us! I knew there was a better solution than letting thugs shoot you!"
"You said they were just going to break--"
"That's not important right now. Don't tell your mom. So, anyway, it's cool if we market this as a collaboration, right? I'll add a poop joke so they think I helped write it."
"Sure, Dad."
And the rest is history. Well, actually, most of it's the future, because this is a serial. I hoped you enjoyed the action-packed fun of GRANDMA? and in the spirit of serialized cliffhanger endings, I'll save the rest of this afterword for—
Jeff Stand
9/7/2013
Copyright © 2013 by Joe Konrath and Talon Konrath
Cover and art copyright © 2013 by Carl Graves
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the authors.
September 2013
Table of Contents
Foreword by Joe Konrath
Northern Wisconsin JOSH
Northern Wisconsin FIVE HOURS EARLIER
Afterword by Jeff Strand
Copyright
GRANDMA? Part 1 (YA Zombie Serial Novel) Page 4
