by Laura Iding
After about an hour he gave up, deciding instead to head back up to the ICU. Joey’s case was complicated and, truthfully, Richard should be handling his care, not an intern.
He told himself he wasn’t going there to see Hannah. Or to apologize for his behavior. Although maybe he should, if the opportunity presented itself.
No. He was going to keep his distance. She could date whoever the hell she wanted. In fact, if she did find someone else, maybe he’d be able to move on with his life.
But not the cop. Or any of the other residents in the program. Or any of the other attending physicians on staff. Or anyone at all in the entire hospital.
Losing it. He was seriously losing it.
Disgusted with himself, he walked down the hall from the elevator toward the ICU and came across Hannah standing in the hallway, talking in a low voice on her cell phone. Ridiculous to be relieved she wasn’t out talking to the cop.
He knew he should back off to give her privacy, but despite her low tone he couldn’t help overhearing part of the conversation.
“I’m sorry, Mom, but I can’t talk to you now. I have a sick patient in the ICU.”
Her mother was calling at five-thirty in the morning? Had to be some sort of emergency. He couldn’t help thinking that she never should have ignored those earlier calls. In an effort to make up for the way he’d treated her, Jake stepped forward, capturing Hannah’s gaze. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I’ll take over on Joey for now. Go ahead and take the call.”
Hannah frowned and shook her head, vehemently. Clearly she didn’t want to talk to her mother. She turned away and hunched her shoulders. “No, Mom, I don’t have more money to send. I’m sorry, but I can’t earn more money by working extra hours—this job takes every bit of spare time I have. I don’t know how we’ll deal with the added expense of Tristan being home. He’s an adult, he could try to help.”
There was another pause and then she said, “No way, I don’t have time to talk to Tristan now. I’m busy. I’ll talk to him later,” then she hung up.
Jake couldn’t pretend he hadn’t overheard, especially when he was bothered by the tone of the call. Was it possible Hannah’s mother was having some sort of financial crisis? It would be rough for Hannah to try and help out on a measly intern’s salary. When she turned back toward him, the bleak expression in her eyes tugged at a heart he’d thought immune to emotion.
“Hannah, are you all right?”
“Yes.” But her response was clipped and she avoided his gaze in a way that suggested she was anything but all right. “The general surgical unit just paged me to let me know that Devon is running a fever. Do you think we need to add another antibiotic?”
“Not yet. It’s not exactly surprising he’s running a fever, considering he was shot twice,” Jake explained. “Give the antibiotics you’ve ordered a chance to work. If he’s still running a fever after twenty-four hours, we’ll consider changing the medication to provide broader coverage.”
“Fine.”
When she moved to walk away, he stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Hannah, wait. Is there something you need? Something I can do for you? Is everything all right at home?”
The muscles of her arm stiffened beneath his fingers. “Look, Jake,” she said finally, “you can’t have it both ways. Either I’m flirting with the cop, or I’m not. Either we’re working together as professionals, or we’re not. You’ll have to clue me in here as to what you want, because I can’t figure it out. I’m tired and my head hurts.”
She was right. He couldn’t have it both ways. But staying away from her, keeping his distance from her, wasn’t working so well. “We could be friends, Hannah,” he offered. Her eyes widened in shock and he squelched a flash of annoyance. What was wrong with being friends? Surely the concept wasn’t foreign to her. “And as a friend, I’m willing to listen, anytime you want to talk.”
“I—uh—gosh—uh—that’s very nice,” she fumbled, looking more uncomfortable with the thought than when he’d had her naked in his bed. “But—ah—I really think I should try to get some sleep.”
“A little late for that. It’s five-thirty, and rounds begin in an hour,” he pointed out.
But she was already backing away, and he knew she wasn’t going to let him get close. “I know, don’t worry, I’ll be ready.” And then she left, practically tripping over her own feet in her haste to get away from him.
He should be glad she was putting distance between them, but he wasn’t. Instead, he had to fight the urge to go after her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
HANNAH didn’t bother trying to sleep. Between her mother’s phone call and Jake’s offer to lend a friendly ear, she couldn’t figure out what to do next.
Her mother’s pleas for help kept reverberating in her head. And the old familiar guilt wouldn’t leave her alone. But no matter how much she wanted to help her mother and her brother, the reality of being on call every fourth night made it clear that there was no way she could pick up a shift or two at Satin, even if she wanted to.
Which she really didn’t.
She was still stunned by Jake’s offer to be friends. Just thinking about it made her wince. The concept was nice, but the way her body responded when he was near was anything but friendly.
No, being friends wouldn’t work.
An impossible situation.
Why did she seem to have such a strange connection to him? If he had been a lawyer or financial consultant, like she’d thought when she first met him down by the marina, would she still feel the same way?
Maybe. But if his career had been anything other than a doctor who happened to be on staff at Chicago Care, she doubted that she would have seen him again. Granted, she would have thought about him, and probably would have wondered how he was doing, but that would have been the end of it.
She wouldn’t have worked with him for hours on end. Or been given the chance to know him.
Impossible as it seemed, they’d grown closer over the week they’d worked together. The countless hours they’d spent together had caused them to understand each other better than if they’d gone out on traditional dates. Slowly, she was learning to like Jake the doctor as much as she’d been drawn to Jake the man.
The thought of letting Jake in on her family secrets made her stomach knot with anxiety. She’d tried to confide in Alec and that hadn’t worked at all. Margie probably knew the most about her past, but even Margie didn’t know everything.
No one did.
Suddenly her overwhelming exhaustion had nothing to do with being up all night and everything to do with the burden of shame she carried.
Would it be the worst thing in the world to share a tiny part of the burden with someone else? With someone she trusted?
With Jake?
Her turbulent thoughts kept her tossing and turning on the narrow cot in the call room until it was time to get up, shower and dress for morning rounds.
When she arrived on the unit, Jake looked a little rough around the edges, too. With a guilty start, she realized he’d been on call all week. Good grief, no wonder he looked exhausted.
“Good morning,” she murmured.
“Good morning. Did you get any sleep?” he asked, as they waited for the rest of the team to show up.
“No. You?”
“No.”
She stared at him and then laughed incredulously. “And here I was thinking that once I finished my year as an intern I’d get more sleep during my call shifts. Guess the joke is on me.”
The corner of his mouth tipped up in a reluctant smile. “Yeah, but remember I’m generally only on call for one week every month and a half, you’re on call every fourth day for the next five years. Big difference.”
“Oh, good, that makes me feel so much better,” she assured him, with a hint of playful sarcasm in her tone.
There was a strange expression in his eyes, giving her the impression he wanted to say something more, but then both Andrea and Ric
hard walked up and the moment was gone.
Morning rounds were uneventful this time, no mistakes for Jake to point out to the group, thank heavens. And after they finished and she was relieved of her duties, she once again went back down to the trauma bay to observe for a while before heading home.
She wasn’t surprised when Jake came up beside her. In fact, she’d secretly been waiting for him. “We have to stop meeting like this,” he joked.
She let out a wry laugh. “Yeah, but I promise to leave by noon. I have no intention of jeopardizing your program.”
“I know. That’s not why I’m here.” He was silent for a moment, then said, “You realize that avoiding your family isn’t going to solve your problems, don’t you?”
She slowly nodded, too tired to keep up the pretense. “Yeah, I know. But honestly? I don’t have any more to give. Not emotional energy, time or money. Not without sacrificing my career. And knowing that makes me feel bad.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Jake asked, his expression serious.
She was tempted, so tempted to ask for a hug, but they were standing in the back of the trauma bay with all of their colleagues around.
And hugging stretched the boundaries well beyond friendship.
Bad idea. She shouldn’t be depending on Jake anyway. She shook her head. “Not really, but thanks for asking.”
“Hannah, why don’t we get out of here for a while?” he asked in a low voice. “We’re both officially off duty. We could grab breakfast or lunch somewhere outside the hospital.”
She glanced at the earnest expression in his eyes and felt her resistance melt away. He’d offered friendship, hadn’t he? Just because she didn’t have a lot of experience with having men as friends, it didn’t mean she couldn’t try, right? It wasn’t as if she was going to date him.
No matter what, she couldn’t afford to jeopardize her spot in the program by dating him.
“That actually sounds good. I’d love to get something to eat, but I hope you don’t mind if we find someplace that serves breakfast food. For some reason, I can’t face anything stronger than eggs and bacon after being up all night.”
“I don’t mind at all,” he assured her. “I’m the same way. Looks like the trauma resuscitation is winding down. Are you ready to go?”
Wryly she realized she’d completely missed all the key points of the resuscitation, so there was no point in staying. “Yes, I’m ready.”
“Great. Should I meet you out in the parking structure?” he asked. “We can flip a coin to see who drives.”
“No contest, considering I don’t have a car,” she was forced to confess. “I take the subway to work.”
“Good, that makes things easier.” The satisfaction in his tone was unmistakable. “I’ll drive. There’s a great restaurant a couple miles from here that serves breakfast all day.”
She picked up her backpack off the floor, intending to sling it over her shoulder, but Jake intercepted it, shouldering her burden instead.
Leaving her no choice but to follow him outside, hoping and praying this impromptu breakfast wasn’t a huge mistake.
* * *
Jake glanced at Hannah seated across from him at the local family restaurant, trying to convince himself this wasn’t a date.
Surely he was capable of spending time with her, talking to her, as a friend.
So why did his gaze keep lingering on her face? Her brilliant blue eyes? Her long blond hair, curling enticingly around her face because she hadn’t pulled it back into the usual braid after her morning shower?
And why was he tempted to drag her out of the noisy restaurant to take her somewhere quiet? Like his place?
Images of their night together slammed into his head, and he ruthlessly shoved them away. He tore his gaze from her to stare down at the menu—vowing to keep his insatiable desire for her under strict control.
After they gave their order, Hannah met his gaze over her mug of coffee. “So tell me, why do the attending physicians have to take in-hospital call?”
“It’s just the trauma surgeons that have to take inhouse call, not all attending physicians,” he corrected. “And that’s a new requirement that I implemented when I came.”
“But why?” Hannah persisted.
“We took in-house call at the teaching hospital where I worked before and as much as we griped about it, we had the lowest mortality rates of any trauma center in the region. I was brought here to Chicago Care to turn this trauma program around so I instituted the same requirement, much to the dismay of my colleagues.”
Hannah raised a brow. “I can imagine,” she murmured.
He shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s all about patient care, right? That’s what counts in the end, how many lives we’re able to save.” He could have gone on about the other changes he planned to make for the trauma program, but surprisingly he was more interested in what was going on with Hannah’s family. “Are you going to call your mother back?”
She dropped her gaze, staring blindly into her coffee mug. “Eventually,” she allowed. “It’s just that right now—it all seems so hopeless. There isn’t anything more I can do.”
“Surely she supports the demands of your career?” He was trying not to be rude by asking outright what was going on.
Hannah surprised him by grimacing and lifting a shoulder. “Sort of.”
What did that mean? “Maybe you need to explain it?”
She let out a weak laugh. “I have. She thinks I’m exaggerating to avoid helping her.” She was silent for a moment, before meeting his gaze. “It’s not all her fault. She has arthritis and can’t work, so she does need financial support.”
“I see,” he murmured. Talk about a difficult situation. It was a little disturbing, the way he instinctively tuned into her emotions. “Is she okay at home by herself?”
“Yes. My aunt stops by every week to check on her, and she can get around on her own. But she resents me for not being around more.”
“And your father?” he asked, hoping she wouldn’t take offense.
She shrugged. “Took off when I was ten. We haven’t seen him since.”
“I’m sorry, Hannah.” He reached across the table to take her hand. “I’m sure that must have been rough.”
She didn’t answer and he knew there was probably more to the story, but since she didn’t offer any more information he told himself not to pry. “Hannah, you’re going to be a great surgeon someday. Don’t let yourself get sidetracked from obtaining your goal.”
“I’m trying not to,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. “But what if obtaining my goal means turning my back on my family when they need me? Is that fair?”
He wasn’t sure what to say to that, and a wave of panic filled his chest at the thought of Hannah dropping out of the program.
A few days ago he would have been happy with that news. Hadn’t he tried to convince her to transfer to another service? Now he knew he’d go to great lengths to keep her. “I’ll help in any way I can.”
“Thanks, but there isn’t really anything you can do.” She tugged on her hand and reluctantly he let go.
Seconds later the waitress arrived with their food, and Hannah seemed extremely interested in her veggie omelet while he dug into his steak and eggs.
“This is excellent,” she murmured with a sigh. “I was hungrier than I realized.”
He was hungry too, but not for food. Desperately, he steered the conversation to lighter matters, like the chances of the Chicago Cubs making it to the play-offs. But after they finished eating, and he’d paid the tab, at his insistence, they walked outside, where Hannah stopped and reached for her backpack, making it clear their friendly breakfast was over. “Thanks again, Jake. I’ll take the subway home from here.”
He couldn’t help his visceral reaction. “No, you won’t.”
She looked surprised by his flat refusal. “There’s no reason for you to go out of your way,” she protested.
&nbs
p; “You’re not taking the subway.” He couldn’t seem to stop himself from feeling possessive. “Be reasonable. You’ve been up most of the night.” She’d refused to let him take her home after the night they’d spent together too, and it had bothered him then the same way it bothered him now. “I’m driving you home and that’s that.”
For a moment she stared at him, and then gave in, throwing her hands up in surrender. “Fine, if it’s such a big deal, you can drive me home.”
“About time you listen to reason,” he said, trying not to sound irritable as he held the passenger door for her. Once he’d stored her backpack behind the driver’s seat, he slid in and then glanced at her. “So? Which way?”
“North about five miles,” she said shortly.
He followed her reluctant directions and ultimately stopped in front of a warehouse type of building that didn’t look at all as if there were actual apartments inside.
For a moment he wondered if she was lying to him about living here, but before he could ask, she opened the passenger door and moved to get out. “Thanks for the ride,” she said, avoiding his gaze.
“Wait.” He lightly grasped her arm, unwilling to end things like this. “Hannah, please. Don’t be upset. I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“You didn’t.” Her snippy tone wasn’t exactly reassuring.
When he simply raised a brow, she hunched her shoulders and rolled her eyes.
“Okay, maybe you did.” Her expression softened to mild exasperation. “Has anyone ever told you how bossy you are?”
“As I’m a surgeon, that’s not exactly a surprise,” he said. “Yeah, I’m bossy. But you’re stubborn.”
“Independent,” she corrected.
“Stubbornly independent,” he said by way of compromise, although he kept hold of her arm. Dammit, he didn’t want to let her go.
“Which is only going to make me a good surgeon,” she pointed out reasonably.
He chuckled. “Okay, I’ll give you that one.” He glanced again at her unorthodox apartment building. “Does this apartment building of yours have any safety features for a woman living alone?”
