Sometimes if you love someone you have to set them free.
Keenan wants his mate to come back, but after two months without any news about Jonah, he has lost his hope that the wolf shifter will come back to him. Then one night his phone rings and Jonah finally talks to him.
Jonah left Keenan because he needed to help the other wolves who had disappeared with him. He has a hard time staying away from his mate, though, and as soon as he finds Elliott, Merle and Simon, he runs back to Whitedell, hoping his apologies will be enough for Keenan to take him back.
Just when the two men take their first step in their relationship, something happens to Keenan and he disappears. Will Jonah be able to save the mate he has just started to get to know, or will Keenan be forever lost to him?
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Keenan
Copyright © 2015 Catherine Lievens
ISBN: 978-1-4874-0368-3
Cover art by Latrisha Waters
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Keenan
Whitedell Pride 10
By
Catherine Lievens
Dedication
To all the readers who wanted Keenan to have a happy ending of his own. I hope I did him justice.
Chapter One
Keenan watched the rain pelt his room’s window, angry with himself because he couldn’t help but wonder where Jonah was. He knew he should forget the man, but how could he? He might not be a shifter, but he’d been living in the mansion for nearly a year. He knew what finding your mate meant, and he wanted that. He wanted the kind of relationship he could see between Jamie and Ward, the way they always seemed to know where the other was, the way Ward could anticipate Jamie’s wishes. The way they loved each other, deeply and completely.
Hell, Keenan would even settle for a normal relationship. Maybe he should just start dating again—dating humans, that was. He knew nothing good would come out of dating a shifter.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
He couldn’t go through what he’d been through with Bryce again, as much as he loved the guy and Finn. It would be too much.
Keenan sighed and let his head fall back against the back of the armchair he was sitting in. It was Sunday, so he didn’t have to go down to Dominic’s office. Good thing, since he wasn’t feeling like getting out of his room—ever. He knew he would have to sooner or later, but he could hide here until tomorrow, unless someone came looking for him, and that was something that had been happening way too often lately. Keenan knew his friends meant well, but they weren’t helping.
He remembered when he had first seen Jonah. The guys had just come back from raiding the lab in Fort Collins, and Sebastian had been wounded. Keenan had wanted to help with the rescued people, so he had walked to one of the cars, but something had made him stop before he could get to it. There had been a guy in the parking lot trying to stand on his feet but barely succeeding—Jonah. Keenan didn’t know why he’d felt a pull toward Jonah at the time, but he had, and he’d known he had to help him somehow.
Keenan’s mate might have had problems standing on his feet, but that hadn’t stopped him from growling and snarling at anyone who had tried to get to him. Jonah was huge, easily six foot five or six, and he was well muscled, which meant that everyone had given him a wide berth. There’d been many other people to help—people who actually wanted that help.
Keenan had stopped next to him and they had looked in each other’s eyes, and he had known he had to help the man. So he had reached for Jonah’s hand, and to his surprise Jonah hadn’t protested or snarled back at him. He had let Keenan take his hand and lead him to the infirmary without protesting.
Things had gone wrong again when Jared had tried to examine Jonah. The man hadn’t wanted to let him, and he had tried to keep Jared away from Keenan, too. With Finn’s help they had managed to knock Jonah out, but it hadn’t been pretty. At least Jared had been able to examine him.
Luckily, Jonah had been fine, and when he woke up he also had calmed down considerably.
Keenan had spent days pinning after Jonah after that first meeting. He wanted to help the wolf shifter get familiarized with the mansion and the people who lived there. He wanted to soothe him and help him get over his pain, both the physical one and the mental one. Keenan had felt the pull toward Jonah get stronger with every day that passed. It had gotten to the point he could hardly think about anything or anyone else. Moreover, since he had lived with shifters for a long time, he had had a pretty good idea of what was going on.
He hadn’t been sure, though, because Jonah hadn’t said anything. Keenan had never felt that type of pull with anyone, not even with Bryce. And Bryce had been the only man, the only person, he had ever been in love with. Keenan knew Jonah was his, but he didn’t know what to do about it. The fear that he was wrong and that he was setting himself up for another experience like the one he’d had with Bryce had been strong.
So one night, Keenan had decided to talk to Jonah. He couldn’t go on thinking about the man like that. Jonah was quickly becoming an obsession, and several of his friends had noticed he had something going on with the wolf, even if no one had ever said anything, except for Oliver.
It hadn’t gone well. Keenan had confronted Jonah in his room, asking him if they were mates. He had held his breath, waiting for the answer. However, Jonah had just shook his head and told him that it didn’t matter, that he was leaving the mansion anyway. Keenan had run away, first to his room, then to Oliver’s. Thank god, the bear shifter had wakened and let him in. Keenan had needed just a moment to cry himself out or burst.
Jonah had found him, of course, and they had talked. He had admitted that they were mates, but he had also said that he couldn’t be Keenan’s mate until he had time to heal. Keenan understood that, really. He had gone to bed feeling a bit better, until he woke up the next morning and found out Jonah had disappeared during the night, taking the few clothes and personal belongings he had with him.
He hadn’t heard about Jonah since then, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He could understand why Jonah had needed to leave, why he had wanted to wait to mate. What he couldn’t understand was that Jonah hadn’t told him they were mates, but above all, why he had left without even telling Keenan. Did he think Keenan would have tried to stop him? Okay, so maybe he would have, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew Jonah needed some time on his own, and he would have let him go. Heck, Jonah hadn’t even called since he left two months ago! That showed exactly how much he wanted Keenan, right? He probably would never come back anyway, so it was pointless for Keenan to keep waiting for him.
It hurt, though. It hurt to know that he hadn’t been eno
ugh, not even for the man he was supposed to be perfect for.
A soft knock on the door interrupted Keenan’s thoughts. He sighed. He knew who it was, well, not exactly, but he knew whoever it was would want. They all wanted the same thing.
Keenan, are you okay? You’ll see, he’ll come back. You just have to give him time.
Keenan snorted. As if.
“Keenan?”
Keenan groaned. It was Jamie, and while he was able to fool Jayden and the rest of his friends, he had never been able to do the same with Oliver and Jamie. His brother would know right away that Keenan’s mood was this bad. Keenan thought about not opening his door, but if he did that, it would only worsen the situation. Jamie would freak out and probably run to Ward. While Keenan didn’t want to talk to anyone, he also didn’t want his brother to worry and the whole pride to try to break his door down. So he reluctantly got up and unlocked the door before sitting down again.
He kept his eyes on the raindrops sliding along the window, not looking toward Jamie.
“Hey—what are you doing?”
Keenan shrugged. “Nothing much. I’m enjoying my day off as much as I can, just resting and stuff.”
“Uh huh, I see that. Joy is literally pouring out of you.”
Keenan turned to face his brother and arched a brow at him. “I’m the sarcastic one here, you know? That so didn’t sound right coming out of your mouth.”
“Yeah, well, I do what I can. Since you’re closed off and everything, someone has to entertain the masses.”
“Well, let me tell you, you’re not it.”
Jamie smiled at Keenan. “I know I’m not as good as you are, I’m just keeping the seat warm for when you finally come back.” His expression turned serious. “How are you, Keenan? Seriously—are you still hurting?”
Keenan looked at his nails. He knew he had to answer with the truth. His brother deserved nothing less. “Yeah. I just... I don’t understand what’s so wrong with me that he could just leave me like that. I know we don’t know each other, but I thought mates really meant something for shifters. Hell, it does for most of them! But of course, I had to get the one who doesn’t care about it. Just my luck.”
“Keenan... you know that’s not true. Jonah has been through hell, he just needs some time on his own to—”
“Yeah, I know. It would be so hard for him to pick up a phone and send me a message.” Keenan raised his knees and hugged them tightly, resting his chin on them as he watched the rain fall. The weather reflected his feelings perfectly right now.
He heard Jamie sigh behind him before his brother squeezed his shoulder. “You know where to find me if you want to talk.”
Keenan didn’t answer. He heard Jamie leave his room and close the door just before the first tear rolled down his cheek.
* * * *
Jonah stared at his phone. He wanted to call Keenan, to talk to him, but he knew he couldn’t. He had to finish what he’d started when he had left Whitedell first. He had to save his friends, the three wolves who had been sold by Erskine, just like him. Merle, Simon and Elliott were still somewhere out there, locked in a cage, hurting and scared. Only when he saved them would he finally be able to claim his mate. He just hoped Keenan would be willing to listen to him then.
He knew he shouldn’t have left like that, that he should have told Keenan. But he also knew that just trying to say goodbye would have stopped him from leaving. He could only imagine the look on Keenan’s face if that had happened, the hurt that would have shone in his eyes. He knew he would have changed his mind, just for Keenan.
Jonah wanted his mate to be happy, but he couldn’t be a good mate for Keenan until he felt at peace with himself. He had written hundreds of text messages that he’d never sent, he had dialed Keenan’s number even more times. He also knew the sound of Keenan’s voice would have pushed him to go back, and he couldn’t.
He grabbed the cell anyway and dialed.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, Oliver.”
“Jonah! How are you doing? Did you find something new?”
“Yeah. I think I might have found Elliott.”
“Really? That’s great! You need help retrieving him?”
“I’m not sure yet. I should be able to do it on my own, but I could use some back-up I guess, just to be sure.”
“Count me in then.”
“You sure? Maybe you shouldn’t, you know, meet up with me.”
Oliver scoffed. “I know why you’re saying that, and as much as I love Keenan, it doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore you for him. He’s hurt, but he’s not the only one.”
“I know, I just... I don’t want him to lose his friends.”
“He won’t, if he doesn’t do anything stupid.” Oliver’s voice softened. “I don’t want to hurt him, but I think you need me more than he does for now.”
Jonah sighed. Oliver was right, even if Jonah didn’t like it. He needed a friend, someone to talk to until this whole thing was done, and Oliver was the only friend he had. He had been surprised when his phone had rung two days after he had left Whitedell. The pride had given it to him, so they knew the number, but he hadn’t thought someone would call. He had been scared it would be Keenan, so he hadn’t answered, but Oliver had sent him a message before calling again. Jonah had answered the second call.
They had started talking regularly since then, and Jonah liked it. It was also a way to find out how Keenan was doing. “How is he?”
“Same as always. He’s put on a brave face, acts like he doesn’t hurt anymore, but I can see it’s a mask, and so can Jamie.”
“I—”
“I know, Jonah. I hope you’ll be done soon, because I’m not sure how long Keenan is going to go on like this. He... he’s talking about going out with other guys, human guys.”
Jonah’s wolf howled inside him, the sound full of pain and regret. It echoed exactly the feelings coursing through Jonah. His heart squeezed painfully as he imagined Keenan happy, holding hands with a guy that wasn’t him.
“I don’t know if I can do it, Oliver.”
The bear shifter sighed. “I know. I can understand it, but I think you should decide what’s more important right now. I know you want to do what’s right. But are you prepared to lose your mate for it? You know Keenan wouldn’t have problems with you looking for your friends. He’s acting like this only because you left him without saying anything, and I still think you should talk to him.”
Oliver had been pushing Jonah to do just that since the start, and Jonah was starting to think that maybe the man was right. “I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t wait too long, Jonah. He’s not going to wait forever.”
The rest of the conversation resolved around the planning of Elliott’s rescue. They talked about where Elliott was and what Oliver could do, and they decided they would meet the following day. Elliott was held in a private house in Cheyenne. While the man who had him had guards, they were human, so Jonah wouldn’t have problems with them.
After hanging up the phone Jonah took a quick shower and got into bed. He already knew what was waiting for him, but he was unable to do anything about it.
He was right.
As soon as he closed his eyes and fell asleep, Roger appeared in his mind. The scientist who had used Jonah as his pet project was always present in Jonah’s dreams. He was always the one who tortured him, who hurt him until Jonah could barely stay conscious. The only thing that had changed in the past few months was that now Keenan was part of Jonah’s dreams too, and that made them even more terrifying.
Keenan huddled in the cage Jonah had been kept in, his arms hugged his knees, his blond hair dirty and his body full of bruises.
Roger walked to Keenan and yanked him out of the cage, and Jonah tried to get to them, to save his mate.
He couldn’t. He tried to run to Keenan, but the distance between them never diminished, no matter how fast and hard Jonah r
an.
Jonah watched as Roger slammed Keenan on an operating table, tied him up and started working on him. The blood started flowing from his mate’s body as Keenan cried and screamed while Jonah called for him. Jonah fought harder to get to Keenan, to do something, to no avail.
He wanted to tear Roger apart, but he couldn’t get to him, to them, and he felt his heart break at his mate’s suffering.
Then Keenan’s voice became lighter and lighter, until Jonah couldn’t hear him anymore, until Keenan stopped fighting.
Jonah jerked up in his bed, his heart beating so hard it felt as if it was about to jump out of his chest. He was drenched in sweat, the sheet tangled around his legs, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. The moonlight illuminated the shabby motel room he was in, but it wasn’t helping to push the anguish and the fear away.
Jonah knew he wasn’t in the lab anymore, that Keenan had never been in it, but panic and fear had taken their hold on him. It was hard to ignore them, even knowing all that. It always was. It was at times like these that Jonah longed to have Keenan close to him, and he didn’t even realize he had reached for his cell phone and dialed Keenan’s number until the man answered.
“Who is this? Do you know what time it is?”
Jonah held his breath. Keenan’s voice was like a balm, touching all the places in Jonah’s soul that hurt and soothing him as nothing else could, even if he was angry at that moment.
“Who is it? If you don’t answer right now, I’m hanging up. I don’t care what your emergency is, and it better be an emergency, because I’ll skin you alive if it isn’t!”
“Keenan... ” Jonah clamped his lips together. He knew he shouldn’t have called, and he shouldn’t have talked, but it was too late.
Keenan Page 1
