The doors opened and I followed Zoey out to the garage. She opened the trunk and I set the box inside. She tossed me the keys and we got into her RAV. I eased out into the shitty Seattle traffic and headed toward West Seattle. We sat in silence. The air felt heavy with tension. After twenty minutes, when we only managed to travel a few blocks in bumper-to-bumper traffic, the pressure got to me.
“I have an idea. After how badly I fucked up you’ll probably reject it outright. Will you hear me out anyway?”
“I have absolutely no idea what you are going to say next.” She tilted her head.
It was a serious question. One I’d been contemplating since before the Sirius show. I hadn’t been sure when to bring it up, but it seemed like I had nothing to lose. So, there was no time like the present.
“Run my foundation as the CEO. Me and Carter are the trustees, and we haven’t hired for that position yet. It should be you.”
Zoey looked at me with wide eyes, mouth open, shocked. “Holy fucking moly, Ty. I don’t have the background or capability to do that job!”
“You do,” I said definitively and listed her numerous qualifications. “First, you created the entire legal structure. Second, we adopted the operating infrastructure exactly the way you recommended. Third, you drafted all the documents. But most importantly, you really believe in what I want to do, you have the passion for it. I think that is 99% of it.”
“Never in a million years did I consider this, Ty.” She fumbled in her purse for something, pulled out a Chapstick and slathered it on. “I have enough money saved to take a year off to figure out my next move.”
“Will you consider it?” I couldn’t help but watch her lips as she spoke.
“I mean, well. Working in a non-profit like yours is what I envisioned doing when I quit, but I don’t think it solves our issues. Plus, what will people say?”
“I don’t care what they say, I care that kids get access to play music. That’s it.” I reached over to take her hand.
“I’m just not sure that I’m comfortable at this stage of my career. Are we even together right now?” Zoey looked at me like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders.
“Z, I have a lot of issues. I’m not going to deny it, and I can’t promise I won’t fuck up.” I squeezed her hand. “The only thing I’m sure of in this life is that I love you and I want to be with you. I want you with me all of the time. I want to show you off. Shout it from the rooftops. I also need to take your feelings into consideration. It would kill me if our relationship ever caused you pain or fucked with your reputation, I’ll do whatever it takes to prevent that. I promise.”
“I want to be with you too, I just need to get comfortable with people knowing about me.” Zoey finally squeezed my hand back.
“I’ve got to do a better job of looking out for you, butterfly. So, will you think about working for the foundation?” I eased onto the West Seattle bridge. “We can work out the details if you want the job.”
“You’re dead serious.” Zoey still looked shocked.
“I am dead serious. Don’t say no outright. Let the hamster wheel spin for a bit.” I pulled into my driveway and pushed the fob to open the gate. “For now, I have a lot of apologizing to do to convince you to agree to the other part of my plan.”
After I got Zoey settled on the couch with an episode of Vanderpump Rules, plying my girl with food was the first part of the scheme, she loved it when I cooked for her, probably because her own culinary skills were nonexistent.
“There is nothing hotter than a rock star who cooks, that smells amazing!” Zoey called from the living room, about an hour later.
“Roast chicken and potatoes. I am auditioning to be your house-husband.” I placed the food on the counter and put my hands, still encased in hot pad gloves in the shape of sharks, on my hips, arms akimbo.
“You are hands-down the sexiest house-husband slash chef in the world.” Zoey took out some plates and silverware and set up our places at the counter.
After we dished up the food and sat down to eat, it was time to suck it up. “I want to formally apologize for how I treated you in LA. I shouldn’t have just left you like that. I should have called to apologize. All I could think about after was getting my shit done and getting back to you.”
‘Thank you for saying that.” Zoey put her fork down and looked at her plate. “I mean, I need to apologize too. I’m used to solving my own problems, I’m clearly terrible at talking things over with you. Maybe if I could have just filled you in on the gerbils in my head—”
“Well, here’s the thing.” I tapped my finger against my chin. “All I’ve been thinking about is how us being back together has been so awesome. I want to take things to the next level, but I don’t want to freak you out. On the other hand, we’ve still been in love with each other for over eight years. We’re actually moving as slow as icebergs. Maybe we need the full-blown commitment so we can put the past in the past.”
“Ohmygod, I’ve been feeling the same way.”
“I want you with me, and I want to be with you.” I circled her wrist. “I know that we still have things to work out, but would you be freaked out if I wanted to speed everything up?”
“What do you mean?” Zoey’s fork was stopped halfway to her mouth.
“Move in with me.”
“Ty.” Zoey put her fork down and looked away.
“Oh, shit. We’re not on the same page.” I couldn’t believe how disappointed I was. “I’m sorry, I just thought—”
“Ty, you left me to take a cab to the airport after I was freaking out about losing my license,” Zoey interrupted. “I quit my job to be with you. You just asked me to be the CEO of your foundation. It’s already a lot. Now you want to add living together on top of it?”
“We spend every night together anyway,” I reasoned, but when I saw the shadow cross Zoey’s face it became even more clear we weren’t moving at the same speed. “I really let you down in LA.”
“Do you know why?”
“Because I didn’t protect you from being outed. Fuck.” I pulled away and paced the kitchen. “I’ve been trying to force myself to take things slow from the minute I saw you again, butterfly. I just can’t. I want it all with you. I don’t want to lose one more day together.”
Zoey approached me and put her hand on my chest to stop my frantic movement. “Stop. Why I’m upset about LA has nothing to do with us being together, because I don’t want to lose any more days either.”
She clasped both my hands in hers and entwined her fingers with mine. “At the same time, you’ve stormed off twice over a misunderstanding. I didn’t hear from you for nearly three days, it isn’t the way to start our new normal.”
“I guess it’s PTSD from finding that note,” I snarked.
“You know what? I’ve apologized for that multiple times.” Zoey’s voice raised a pitch. “No one knows more than me that I’m far from perfect. But I’ve already paid a big price for a foolish decision made when I was eighteen. If you react poorly and think that you can justify your reactions because of that one incident, we don’t stand a chance. The odds are already stacked against us when your fanbase realizes you’re back with ‘Z,’ the woman you villainized on the album.”
“I can’t change that.”
“No, but if you can’t stop throwing that in my face, how will the fans get behind you being with me? We can accept what our reality is today and try to move forward.” Zoey abruptly dropped my hands and cleared the plates. “Or we can call it quits.”
“You’re right.” I was such a complete asshole. “I have been doing that. I’m sorry.”
“I never wanted to break it off, Ty,” Zoey roared. “I suffered all of those years too, and you’ve forgiven Carter—”
Was that true?
Fuck.
It was.
We’d only had a disagreement twice since we were back together, and each time I’d taken every opportunity to throw shit in her face an
d storm off like a toddler. I was lucky she was still here. I didn’t deserve her, but I was going to turn things around. I had to. “Can I show you something?”
“Sure, why not?” Zoey set the plates down in the sink and crossed her arms protectively around herself.
I crossed over to the small wood desk by the fireplace. Opening a tiny drawer, I grabbed a key and moved the multi-platinum record for Butterfly off the wall, revealing a deep compartment. Unlocking the safe inside it first with the key then the combination, I retrieved my binder of financial statements and brought it back with me to the counter. Placing it in front of Zoey, I opened the binder to a ledger of my financial assets.
“I hope you don’t think it’s weird that I’m letting you see this. I don’t want to freak you out.” I studied her expression, which remained impassive.
“Okay, but this stuff is none of my business.” Zoey looked at me quizzically, without even glancing at the statement.
“Well, I disagree. This is entirely your business. My schedule is about to get busy again until the end of this year. I just thought that before we go to New York, we could really make a commitment to each other.”
“Wait, I’m going to New York?”
“Well, I just assumed you’d be with me for the premiere.” I was such an idiot. I hadn’t even asked her.
She stared at me for a long moment. “Are you asking me or telling me?”
“Asking. Will you come with me? We’ll get an entire PR plan put together to control the press as much as possible.”
Zoey didn’t respond, but she finally scanned the spreadsheet. “Holy shit, Ty. You’re not just a millionaire, you’re like a zillionaire!”
“I just want you to know that I’m secure. We are secure.” I reached over and put my hand over hers.
Zoey shut her eyes and sighed, looking up at me with a tight smile. “I haven’t earned any of this.”
“I beg to differ.” I crossed my arms. “The songs I wrote about you bring me royalties every year. This is as much your money as mine.”
She looked astounded. Her brow furrowed as though she was deep in thought.
“Look, I wanted to show you my finances. Royalties from my songwriting and producing pay me as much as LTZ does. More even. I’m investing wisely, aside from a couple crazily expensive cars. I’ll never be able to spend what I have.”
“Your money doesn’t matter to me, Ty. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of you” Zoey’s eyes pooled with tears. “You’ve come so far.”
“Well, Carter set us all up with his financial manager, who has been brilliant—”
“This is all so much.” Zoey buried her head in her hands. “I’m not sure how to feel.”
“I was hoping it would make you feel safe. I mean, you really don’t need to work at the firm or at the foundation or at any job if you don’t want to, Zoey,” I attempted to reassure her. “You can take the time to do whatever you want. I just want to be with you every step of the way. And, I don’t want to hide you anymore. We need to reclaim our lives.”
“I get what you’re saying, but—"
“I know, I’m being impatient. That, and making assumptions about what you want. Or when you want it. I’ve said my piece. At least now you know where I stand.”
“I’m just trying to process, it’s a lot of big changes. I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
Without saying another word, I put the ledger back in its place and cleaned up the kitchen. Part of me was afraid that I’d say something I’d regret because I was ready to take the next step now. The other part knew not to push her after my behavior in LA.
“Ty?”
“Butterfly, why don’t you go change? Relax. Maybe take a bath. I’ll finish cleaning up.” I smoothed her hair and kissed her on the forehead.
“But—”
“Look, the truth is I have a few more band commitments that are important. I’m also not going to apologize to you or anyone else that I want you to be with me as much as humanly possible now and later and forever. Once the band is on hiatus, there is no guarantee any of this will ever happen again for LTZ. Or, even that we will even make music together again. We could very well be tanking our career for good. There may be no more hit songs. No more Grammys. No more private jets whisking us to movie premieres.”
My calm delivery camouflaged my desperate need for her to understand where I was coming from. I refused to leave anything on the table anymore, especially with her. “While I hope that doesn’t happen, the thing is, I’m okay with it. I have lived this life nonstop for nearly a decade. Now I’m financially secure and can branch out into exploring the other things that are important to me. The foundation, for instance. But mostly, while I never, in a million years, fathomed that you and I would find our way back to each other, now that we are together again, I have everything.”
Zoey stared up at me with her big, innocent hazel eyes, letting me have my say.
So, I continued. “The thing is, babe? I support your ambition and encourage it. I don’t expect you to give up anything. Truthfully, there is nothing I’d rather do than marry you, retire and knock you up a bunch of times and stay home with our ten kids while you run the foundation or work somewhere else, or excel at whatever you want to do. I’d be content to go back to having music in my life as a passion not a career if it meant you were happy.”
“Ty—” Zoey looked like she was caught in a trap.
“It’s okay, baby. The truth is, we are in a holding pattern about our future because you are still conflicted. I know what I want, but I want you to work out what you want in your own time. The moving in together, marriage and kids’ thing we can chill about. Now, I’m just up against a deadline for the band stuff. For now, give it some thought about whether you want to go to New York and go public and let me know. We can take it one step at a time.”
Zoey said nothing. She just wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned into me, nestling her face into my chest. I cupped her head and held her to me. After a few minutes she extricated herself from our embrace and walked back to my bedroom, leaving me in the kitchen. I let her go.
After I cleaned up from dinner about a half-hour later, I went to find her.
“Ty?” I heard her voice coming from the bathroom, almost a whisper.
“I’m right here, butterfly.” I opened the door to find her soaking in the massive double-jetted bathtub, red-rimmed eyes looking at me through a mountain of bubbles. Her tear-streaked face was so gorgeous despite the mascara running down her cheeks. Quickly kneeling by the tub, I took her face in my hands and caressed her temples with my thumbs. “God, I’m such a fuckup. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“Stop. Ty. It’s not that. I—I want to move in with you, there’s nothing I want more.” Her anguished sobs ripped me apart.
“I sure hope so, Z, because we belong together.” I embraced my naked girl, rubbing her back to comfort her as she let it all out.
“I get in my own way.” Zoey’s sobs were more choking cries now, and she started to hiccup.
“We both do at times, babe. Just tell me what you want. What you really, really want.” I looked at her earnestly. “Please—I’ll make it happen.”
“Zig a zig ah?” Zoey sang off-key and started laughing hysterically through her tears, kind of sobbing, kind of laughing. I looked at her with my eyes wide open, not sure what to do.
“Ummm?” I had no idea what was going on.
“Spice Girls?” She cocked her eyebrow, setting off another fit of laughter-sobs, although more laughter this time.
“Ahhhh—” I started laughing too, finally getting it. Soon we were both laughing in fits, the bubbles and water splashing all around, soaking me. When we regained some semblance of control, I needed to be skin-to-skin with her. I stripped off my wet clothes and got into the bathtub behind her, wrapping my arms around her.
Zoey relaxed into me as I kissed her neck, then cupped her face and angled her head back toward mine. Explori
ng her mouth gently at first, then hungrily, our tongues danced together. My traitorous dick grew hard when my original plan was just to comfort her. Her splendid tits were somewhat visible, bobbing amongst the bubbles. I couldn’t help but trace her nipples, loving how they immediately hardened into tight bullets at my touch.
“We have always done sex exceedingly well.” Zoey sank back against my chest and pressed her backside against my erection which had grown harder against the crease of her ass.
“We have,” I agreed, now rolling her dark-pink nipple with my fingers. My other hand inched down to stroke the slight swell of her stomach then dipped into her folds. I slipped my middle finger inside her and flicked against her clit with my thumb.
“The relationship stuff is tougher,” she eeked out breathlessly.
I circled her nub.
“Ty, I want all of it.” Zoey lolled back against me.
“Mmm.” I increased my pace, nuzzling her ear, biting it gently.
“Ohhh God, that feels so good,” Zoey moaned.
“I want to make you feel good, Z.” I suckled on her earlobe, using my nose to dip into her neck.
Zoey hummed and pressed against me, her eyes closed. Her head slipped farther back against my arm when I pushed my finger in and out of her. Watching her reaction, I knew I’d hit the mark when her lips opened slightly, and she puffed out little breaths. Then her knees fell open over my legs. Her hips had a mind of their own, grinding on my hand, seeking something more. Still strumming her clit, I positioned her over the side of the tub, her ass just above the waterline. The bathwater splooshed around us.
Kneeling behind her, I gripped my cock, stroked it through her folds and thrust deep inside her. Her hums grew louder and louder. Zoey used the edge of the tub for leverage and pushed back against me, forcing me even deeper. My balls slapped against her ass as we found a rhythm that created mini-tsunamis, which soaked the entire bathroom floor.
“Ty, can we do this somewhere more comfortable?” Zoey panted, the faint mascara streaks giving her a dangerous and sexy vibe. “I love having you so deep inside me, but my knees are killing me, and we’ve made an absolute mess.”
ENDLESS: A Less Than Zero Rockstar Romance: Book 1: Ty & Zoey Page 20
