She could easily see that Isaac was clenching his teeth at her reply. “Since your way doesn’t seem to be working, I’ll show you how I do it, then.”
Though Grace wanted to stomp her foot and tell him to back off, she did her best to swallow her pride and hand over the reins.
“He’s fine on the longer lead, isn’t pulling back anymore. Do you see what I’m doing?”
Grace blew out a breath, clenching her own teeth. “I see it.”
“Now watch when I do this…”
What she saw made her speechless, and at times, nearly burst into tears of frustration. Frustration at her own lack of skills. What she witnessed Isaac doing was something she’d never seen in her life. She crossed her arms, trying to hold in the pain, but mostly trying to not feel dejected over her obvious lack of knowledge about this method of breaking a horse.
…
“It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“No?” Grace said to Mary as she paced back and forth across her sister’s front porch later that morning. “I couldn’t believe my own eyes. He got that ornery horse bowed into position, down on his front knee in complete submission, faster than I’ve ever seen.”
“I don’t know what any of that means,” Mary said as she forced Grace into one of the rocking chairs, the mid-morning sun warming the air. “But it sounds impressive.”
“It was impressive.” Grace felt more frustration clawing at her. “I mean, I guess that’s why he’s called the Amish Cowboy, and why Daed hired him in the first place.” She blew out a breath. “He must be into black magic or something.”
“Grace,” Mary said, her voice sharp. “That’s not funny.” She leaned down to kiss Rose on the top of her head. “Shouldn’t even joke about it.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that about the magic.” She began massaging the back of her own neck. “He’s better than me. I guess I didn’t want to admit it.” She looked over at her sister. “No one’s ever been better than me. Not even Papa.”
“Pride, sister,” Mary said, lifting her eyebrows.
Grace thought coming over to visit Mary would make her feel better, but so far, it hadn’t. “Everything out of my mouth today is wrong. I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I left home to take a walk right after I fed the horses.” She stared into the middle distance. “I can’t face him.”
“So that’s why you came for this unexpected morning visit.” Mary smiled. “You’re hiding.”
“Maybe. I just feel so…lacking. You don’t know what that means to me. I needed this job to be perfect. I needed to be perfect. Or at least better than…”
“It’s not healthy to compare yourself to others,” Mary said after Grace decided not to finish her sentence. “We know that seeking praise from the world repels the Spirit. And you know what happens when we covet.”
Her sister’s words should’ve brought peace of mind, but they didn’t. “I know,” Grace said, looking over when Rose stirred. “I sometimes wonder why I was given the desire to work with horses, this gift to know how to train them.”
“Do you want more tea?” Mary asked.
“Nay.” Grace lifted her eyes and took in a deep breath. “You and Simon were always a match, ever since you were children. You married young, so you don’t know what it’s like.”
“Grace.” Mary chuckled. “You’re twenty-three. Even in our culture, that’s hardly an old maid.”
“But that’s just it. In our culture, men want tradition. They want a wife who will cook and clean and have their babies.”
“Are you speaking of this baby?” Mary said, gesturing down at Rose. “Because let me tell you, she is just as much mine as his.”
“Okay,” Grace conceded.
“And honestly, Hannah is getting to be one of the most skilled cooks around. She loves being in the kitchen. Her fried chicken last night was delicious. And the kinnahs clean up after supper.”
“Okay, okay,” Grace said. “So you don’t cook or clean and half of Rose is yours.” She paused to laugh at the absurd image. “What I meant was, I’m sitting here, looking at your precious baby, enjoying a peaceful, reflective morning, and all I want to do is pull on some trousers, climb onto a horse, and ride until my kapp flies off.” She turned to her sister. “Will any man ever want that? Do I even want a man who wants that?”
Neither of them spoke for a moment, and Grace knew exactly what Mary was thinking.
No self-respecting Amish man will.
“I am wondering one other thing,” Mary said.
“Jah?”
“Are you sure the only reason you’re hiding from him is because you think he’s a better trainer?”
Grace sat up straight. “Meaning?”
“I saw this Isaac King on Sunday.” She rolled her eyes up to heaven. “You were holding back on us when you said he was handsome.”
“You don’t think he is?”
“Um, Grace, not that I notice any other man in that way besides my husband, but he’s more than handsome. He looks like those posters we saw outside the mall in Harrisburg.”
Grace’s gaze drifted to the side, not remembering any posters but picturing Isaac. His strong jaw and nice arms and the smile that could sometimes tickle her heart. “Ahem.” She cleared her throat. “Can I help you make the beds?” she asked after a minute.
“Done,” Mary said, taking a careful sip of tea.
“Make lunch?”
“We’re visiting the Yoders this afternoon.”
Grace sighed. “What am I supposed to do, then?”
“Go home,” Mary said. “Walk straight up to the horse, make him kneel in submission or whatnot, and don’t worry a stitch about what anyone thinks. I love you, Gott loves you, and that’s all you ever need to know.”
Grace still wasn’t ready to return to the farm, but her sister was right. Staying away because her pride was hurt, when she yearned for the smell of hay and the touch of smooth, silky mane, was not solving anything.
“Okay then.” She leaned over to give her sister and Rose gentle kisses on the cheeks. “I can’t covet my neighbor’s training skills?”
Mary grinned. “No, you may not.”
Grace smiled when an idea flashed into her mind. It was time she stopped thinking about herself but remember another “horse” in her life who needed her attention. “If you’re free later this week, would you pay us a visit? I think Sarah would love to hold the baby.”
Chapter Twenty
Instead of taking a ride or wandering around town, during the break between training sessions, Isaac stayed at the Zook farm, helping John with some of the other horses. That was what he told himself, but the real reason he was staying close was because Grace hadn’t come out to work with Cincinnati that morning. The only word she’d left was that she had something more important to do.
It was true that Isaac didn’t know her like the back of his hand, but from what he did know, there were few things more important to Grace Zook than being around her horses.
“Danke,” John said, passing him the buggy harness he’d just used on the small painted pony. “He’ll be ready to pull the girls’ cart by end of the week.” Isaac nodded, but his mind was elsewhere. “Not to worry.” John put a hand on Isaac’s shoulder. “She’ll be back.”
Isaac looked up, wondering if his thoughts could be seen on his face. “Who?”
“It’s happened before—not often, mind you.”
Isaac followed as John exited the stables and walked toward the house. “What’s happened before?”
John scratched his beard. “Oh, she disappears like that out of the blue. She usually ends up at her sister’s; usually comes back with bread or a pie, something she baked. Or she’ll be at one of the aunts’ cleaning their mud room or kitchen, sitting with one of the widowed mammies. Always something…I don’t know�
�women’s work, I guess is the best way to put it. Completely unrelated to working on the farm.” John leaned an elbow on the porch rail. “Her mother told me that she suspects she needs a break here and there.”
“A break from what?” Isaac asked, curious, even though he half expected John was going to say that she needed a break from him.
“Gracie grew up playing in the dirt, but she’s still a woman.”
The words made Isaac hold his breath.
“I figure she needs a break from being outside with the men. There must be a part of her—maybe only a small part—that wishes for a homelife, even though she rarely shows it and never talks about settling down. With or without the Chupp boy.” He paused to chuckle. “She always comes back to the horses. Can’t stay away long.”
Isaac flinched at hearing that name again. The more he thought about it, the more he was certain a strong-willed woman like Grace would never be happy with someone like Collin Chupp, who seemed dead set on having a submissive wife.
Isaac hoped what John said was true—that Grace would return home soon. His morning training session without her wasn’t nearly as fun or productive. Even though they still butted heads at times, he found he missed bouncing ideas off his…partner.
“I best check on the chickens,” John said. “Something’s cut through the wire, or someone. Thanks again for your help today.”
“Sure.” Isaac nodded; his mind now wondering if Grace really did want to settle down someday, or if her life would always revolve around working outside with horses. And why on earth was that any of his business? Hadn’t he already promised that he wouldn’t think about her in that way? He mustn’t if he wanted to keep this job.
It wasn’t quite time yet, but Isaac decided to start the afternoon training session with Cincinnati a bit early. The horse had been fed and watered and had been resting for almost three hours, and Isaac would keep it easy, since Sin had worked very hard the day before. As he walked into the shadowy stables, he immediately noticed the Morgan wasn’t in his stall.
His stomach dropped as a feeling of ice ran through his bloodstream. He checked the gate. The latch didn’t look broken or like the animal had pushed his way out. No, someone had opened the gate. It was probably Grace, but Isaac had to be sure. He ran to check the side field but saw only the cows. The field behind the house was also empty, so he raced past the other field that led to the far back pasture with the tall grass.
That was when he heard the singing…
“Gott is die Liebe, las mich erlosen, Gott is die Liebe, er liebt auch mich.”
God is love, Grace sang while stroking Cincinnati, her voice pulling him in. God is love, He also loves me.
Her beautiful, feminine voice practically called out to him, but what was more magnetic was that her hair was loose, no kapp, bonnet, or covering. Just long reddish-brown tresses falling down her back, over her shoulders. Isaac couldn’t move. All he could do was stand in place, watch her hum and sing, gently running her fingers down the horse’s mane—which, he’d hadn’t noticed until now, matched the color of Grace’s. Dark underneath, with red highlights in the sun.
Cincinnati nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck. One side, then the other, as if kissing her on both cheeks.
Warmth spread through Isaac’s chest as his heart began to beat hard. It was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.
“Good boy,” Grace said, her voice light as air. “Such a special boy.” She moved one of her hands to the back of her neck, then pulled it away, tossing her hair just as a bit of wind picked up.
When that warmth in his chest moved down to his stomach, Isaac knew it was ill-mannered—at the very least—to keep watching Grace in her private moment.
“Guder nummidaag,” he said as gently as possible, knowing he was about to startle her.
She whipped around, that long hair curtaining the sides of her face, blue eyes wide. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for Sin,” Isaac said as he took a step toward her.
“I took him out early,” she said, the tall grass nearly up to her waist.
He couldn’t help smiling. “I see that.”
As he got closer, he easily saw that her cheeks and throat were pink. She was embarrassed. He should’ve been, too, but he couldn’t seem to look away.
“Would you mind…?” She twirled one finger.
It took Isaac a moment to interpret the gesture. After chuckling under his breath, he obediently turned around. “I didn’t see anything,” he said. Not your hair down, not your blushing cheeks.
“There was nothing to see.”
“That’s what I meant.”
“Then why didn’t you say that?”
“I’m saying it now.”
Despite the almost intimate setting of the situation, Isaac couldn’t help teasing her, picking a friendly fight like he sometimes did while they were training.
He heard her sigh. “Okay, you can turn around.”
When he did, her hair was pulled back and up, black heart-shaped prayer kapp in place. But it was no use; he’d never get the picture of her out of his mind. “What are you doing out here?” she repeated, her voice almost accusatory. But she couldn’t fool him anymore—he saw she was trying not to smile.
“I told you, I was looking for Cincinnati.” He put a hand over his chest. “About gave me a heart attack when he wasn’t in his stall.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks were still a bit pink as he reached up to pet the horse. “I wanted some alone time with him. I should’ve left a note.”
“I missed you this morning.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “We did, I mean.” He patted the horse, hoping to keep his own blush away. “Didn’t we, boy?”
She looked at him, then lowered her head. “I, uh, was really impressed by what you did yesterday. I’ve never seen a horse respond like that so quickly.” He heard her sigh. “I was shocked—humbled by my lack of knowledge.”
So John had been right. “That’s why you didn’t show up this morning?”
She nodded but was still looking down.
“You’re twenty-three, jah?”
She glanced up at him, blinked in confusion, then nodded. “Aye.”
“Well, I’m twenty-seven—four years older than you, which means four more years of experience.” He wasn’t sure why he was trying to make her feel better, but he couldn’t help it, even though her father—his boss—would definitely not approve of them being alone in the back meadow like this.
“Well, Papa is twenty years older than me, but I’m still better than…” Her voice dropped off as she pressed her lips together. “I’m having trouble with humility these days.”
“It’s hard to be humble when you’re so gifted,” he said. She blinked again, but her eyes were brighter. “Comparison can make you miserable; believe me, I know. Plus, there’s something in the Bible against it.”
“That’s what my sister said.” She looked at him for a moment, then bit her lip. “Would you tell me how you did that yesterday?”
“No,” Isaac said. Before Grace’s frown could set, he added, “But I’ll show you. Do you have a shorter lead with you?”
“Jah.” Grace displayed a bag she must’ve carried all the way from the barn. “His harness, too.”
Together, they got the horse properly situated, gave him a few extra rubs, then Isaac took hold of the lead. “Come here,” he said. “Stand right beside me behind his back legs, like this, bending at the hips.”
When he glanced back at her, she seemed frozen in place. Was it because crouching directly behind a horse like Sin could be dangerous? Or was she afraid to stand so close to him?
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Don’t you trust me?”
“No.”
Her reply had come so quickly, so automatically, that Isaac almo
st flinched. He stood up straight, feeling his brows pull together, a frown curving his lips. Maybe she really is afraid of me. Did I cross a line? Or is it me in general she doesn’t trust?
He dropped his chin to stare down at the ground, wondering what to do or say that would help her feel comfortable. Trust, he thought. That has to be the basis of our partnership, or this whole thing could be a miserable failure for both of us.
“Well,” he said. “Will you trust me to show you how to do this right now?”
Before she answered, she bit her lip. “Aye,” she finally replied.
Isaac offered her a smile, just a little one, hoping to put her more at ease. “What is most important is Sin has to know who’s in charge,” he said. “I’m in charge now—I’m the boss, the leader. When you’re holding the lead, you’re the boss. Here.”
Grace took the rope, sent a glance toward Isaac, then stared straight into Cincinnati’s eyes. Of course, she already knew how to gain and keep a horse’s attention—he wasn’t teaching her anything new, but it was the setup to breaking that he always found so key.
“Pull him this way, now,” Isaac said. “Down at an angle, he’ll lift his foot on his own.”
“He’s…not,” Grace said, panting with effort. Isaac knew it took practice, and he didn’t expect it to work for her the first time. Still, after she’d disappeared on him that morning, he didn’t want her to feel discouraged again.
“Angle the rope like this,” he said, coming up behind her. “Pull gently.” He reached out and took ahold of the rope, wrapping his hand around hers. It was the only way he could demonstrate exactly how to do it.
Or at least, that was what he told himself as he pressed his body to the back of her, both of them grasping the rope, tugging in unison.
Ever so slowly, Cincinnati succumbed, obeying perfectly, bending down onto his knees, then rolling onto his side.
“Well done,” Isaac said, his voice almost a whisper. “You did great.”
“Are you talking to me or the horse?”
Because of his position standing right at her back, he couldn’t see her face. But then he felt her shoulders shake as she quietly laughed.
The Amish Cowboy's Homecoming Page 13
