Epigrams (Modern Library Classics)

by Martial

  Euphemus. The head of the imperial household.

  Ambrosia … nectar. The food and drink of the gods: the sort of flattering comparison Domitian encouraged.

  sparingly. According to the historian Suetonius, Domitian was a moderate drinker.

    64. the Hesperides. The fabled gardens of the West.

  the Janiculum. A ridge one mile west of the city.

  the goddess’ wood … virgin’s blood. The goddess is probably Anna Perenna, an old Latin divinity. The blood probably refers to the virginities lost during the merry-making at the festival.

  either road. The Flaminian or the Salarian Way.

  Alcinous. In the Odyssey the king of the Phaeacians, famous for his beautiful gardens.

  Molorchus. A shepherd who gave Hercules hospitality during his Labours and was rewarded with land.

  You who now call…Most of the smallholdings had given way to large farms run by absentee owners.

    66. Ides or Calends. Fixed feast-days in each month.

  dinner-suit. The synthesis, a tunic and small cloak, usually of a bright colour.

  knucklebones. Oblongs with two rounded ends, the other four sides being flat, unmarked by numbers but recognisably different. Dice (the same as modern dice) were favoured by the sophisticated. Gambling, though frowned on by the law, was widespread.

  BOOK FIVE

    10. the ugly temple. The temple of Jupiter on the Capitol, damaged by fire and inelegantly restored by Q. Lutatius Catulus in 62 B.C.

  Ennius. The “father of Roman poetry,” who first adapted the Greek hexameter to Latin.

  Menander. Famous Athenian writer of comedies (341–291 B.C.) whose plays continued to be popular on the Roman stage.

  Corinna. The probably fictitious heroine of Ovid’s Amores.

    18. this month. December. The Saturnalia, beginning on the seventeenth and lasting for several days, was the most important holiday of the year. Presents were traditionally exchanged.

    39. Hybla. A Sicilian mountain celebrated for its honey-bees.

  the beggar in the Odyssey. Irus.

    56. Grammar or rhetoric. The primary and secondary main subjects in Roman education. Grammar consisted of the study of syntax and literary texts, rhetoric of training in fluency and logical ingenuity in presenting an argument.

  Tutilius. A now obscure rhetorician of the first century A.D.

  the chorus. In the theatre. Compare Book Three, 4.

    74. Pompey’s sons, Gnaeus and Sextus, were executed in Spain and Asia Minor respectively, after continuing to fight in their father’s cause. Pompey himself was assassinated in Egypt after his defeat by Julius Caesar at the battle of Pharsalus (48 B.C.). What became of his dead body is not known.

    76. Mithridates. King of Pontus, Rome’s chief eastern antagonist until his defeat by Pompey in 67 B.C. His carefully built-up immunity to poison is graphically described by A. E. Housman, A Shropshire Lad, LXII.

    78. city of learning. There was an important university there.

  BOOK SIX

    17. The man addressed is imagined as a freed slave who had changed his name to make it more “Roman.”

    45. The Julian Law, enacted by Augustus and revived by Domitian, laid down severe penalties for adulterous wives.

    46. There were traditionally four chariot-racing factions in the Circus, each with its loyal fans—the Reds, the Whites, the Blues and the Greens. (Domitian added the Purple and the Gold.) Charioteers were frequently bribed. Domitian did not support the Blues.

  BOOK SEVEN

    61. Because of traffic congestion, in A.D. 92 an edict of Domitian forbade shopkeepers to encroach on street space with their stalls.

    87. deadly ichneumon. This mongoose-like animal is in fact harmless.

  BOOK EIGHT

    61. knobbed. The cylindrical roll round which the papyrus (paper) was wrapped was often equipped with decorative knobs at either end.

  The back of the papyrus was dyed yellow with cedar oil to preserve it from mould and moths.

    71. Septicius. A second-rate silver-smith.

  BOOK NINE

    68. School classes began at dawn and continued till midday.

  Thracian. One of the staple entertainments in the amphitheatre was combat to the death between a gladiator with a light shield and a scimitar, known as the “Thracian,” and a more heavily armed opponent.

    70. “Bad times! Bad morals!” A translation of the often-quoted “O tempora! O mores!” from Cicero’s speech against the revolutionary Catiline in 63 B.C. Catiline’s army of the discontented, including slaves, was crushed by the government forces soon afterwards.

  father and son-in-law. Julius Caesar and Pompey, who had married Caesar’s daughter, Julia. After her death their precarious alliance collapsed and civil war broke out.

  BOOK TEN

      8. The point is: the older she is the better—the sooner he will benefit from her will.

    74. Scorpus. According to an inscription this charioteer died at the age of twenty-seven after 2048 wins.

    80. Murrine cup. Murrine ware, made from a rare mineral (jade?) from Parthia, fragile and purple, white or flame-coloured, fetched huge prices.

    90. Andromache … Hecuba. Hector’s wife and mother.

    94. Alcinous. See note to Book Four, 64.

    97. Myrrh and cinnamon. Perfumes were thrown on to the burning pyre by relatives and friends. The ashes were afterwards collected in an urn and buried in the grave.

  BOOK ELEVEN

    18. Diana’s wood. The worship of Diana was associated with woods, many of which were sacred to her.

  the great Calydonian boar. The wild beast which, according to Homeric legend, the offended goddess Artemis (Diana) sent to ravage Calydon. It was killed by the king’s son, Meleager, after a great hunt.

  the garden god. Priapus, whose crude statue, complete with sickle and erect penis, was carved and placed by farmers to encourage growth.

    24. knights … senators. The second and first ranks in the Roman class-structure. Each had a defined range of political duties.

    39. an ex-slave aping Cato. Charidemus had been freed (a common reward for loyal service) by his old master and promoted to a high post in the household, having previously, as was common practice, acted as “governess” and tutor to the young heir. The new master, unable to cope with him, compares him to Cato the Elder (234–149 B.C.), whose self-conscious rectitude in carrying out the duties of the office earned him the name of “the Censor.”

    56. Indifference to death and discomfort was one of the tenets of Stoic teaching. In the case of some “philosophers” this degenerated into a morbid attraction towards suicide and a needlessly squalid style of life.

  Nestor. The oldest of the Greeks at the siege of Troy.

    73. left hand. The hand superstitiously associated with shame and dishonesty.

    96. German. A slave as a result of having been taken as a prisoner of war.

    98. lictors. Minor officials, one of whose duties was to precede a magistrate and clear the way, carrying the ancient symbols of authority, a bundle of birch-rods and an axe projecting from them.

  curule chair. An ivory folding-seat used by the higher magistrates.

  people you don’t want to kiss. And therefore, by implication, people who don’t want to kiss you.

    99. Symplegades. The Clashing Rocks through which the Argonauts, in search of the Golden Fleece, had to pass into the Hellespont.

  102. the aediles. The small body of officials responsible, among other things, for the conduct of religious observances and the reporting of all prodigies.

  104. it’s a known fact…The evidence for this and the other “facts” cited is not known.

  Ganymede. Jupiter’s attractive cup-bearer, who was carried off to heaven by the god disguised as an eagle.

  Luc
retia. The archetype of the virtuous Roman wife, who killed herself in shame after being raped in her husband’s absence.

  Laïs. A celebrated Athenian courtesan of the fifth century B.C.

  BOOK TWELVE

    18. Aventine. The hill on which the temple of Diana stood.

  cut the youngsters’ hair…See note to Book Three, 58.

  Juvenal. The friend whom Martial is addressing is almost certainly the famous satirist.

    28. Massa. Baebius Massa, condemned in A.D. 93 for embezzlement as proconsul of Baetic Spain.

  as marvellously as a stag…A popular fallacy, shared by the naturalist Pliny.

  a unanimous handkerchief. If the majority of the spectators in the amphitheatre waved their handkerchiefs when a defeated gladiator appealed, he might be spared or given a discharge by the Emperor or the presiding magistrate.

  bald. Their heads were shaved.

    31. Nausicaa’s father. King Alcinous. See note to Book Four, 64.

    34. divide The days by pebbles. It was the custom to record days by pebbles, white for happy days, black for unhappy ones.

    68. Poor morning client. See note to Book Four, 8.

  INDEX OF FIRST LINES

  A is a runner after girls;

  Abominable schoolmaster, bogeyman of little girls and boys

  Abscisa servom quid figis, Pontice, lingua?

  Abstulerat totam temerarius institor urbem

  “Address me,” you insist, “as Long”

  Aegrotas uno decies aut saepius anno

  Aera domi non sunt, superest hoc, Regule, solum

  All Rome is mad about my book:

  Although you’re glad to be asked out

  Amiable but unco-operative

  Aper the archer’s rich wife, struck

  Aper’s teetotal. So what? I commend

  Argiletanas mavis habitare tabernas

  Arrectum quotiens Marulla penem

  Asia and Europe each provide a grave

  At home I’ve empty coffers.

  Attalus, you’re the butt of a good joke:

  Audieris in quo, Flacce, balneo plausum

  Aureolis futui cum possit Galla duobus

  Auriculam Mario graviter miraris olere.

  “Bad times! Bad morals!” good old Cicero

  Baiana nostri villa, Basse, Faustini

  Baiano procul a lacu, monemus

  Basia dum nolo nisi quae luctantia carpsi

  Bassa, you tell us that you’re young

  Because he hates to praise by name

  Because my cook ruined the mutton

  Because the old lady gasps for breath

  Because, this month, when napkins, pretty spoons

  Because you hysterically glorify death, old Stoic

  Because you’re always giving splendid

  Bella es, novimus, et puella, verum est

  By daily making himself sick

  Caedicianus, if my reader

  Caesar, if you should chance to handle my book

  Capto tuam, pudet heu, sed capto, Maxime, cenam

  Carmina Paulus emit, recitat sua carmina Paulus.

  Cedere de nostris nulli te dicis amicis.

  Cenes, Canthare, cum foris libenter

  Centum miselli iam valete quadrantes

  Charinus is ill with envy, bursting with it, weeping and…

  Chrestilla digs her husbands’ graves

  Cinna, the best thing would be if you lent

  Cinnam, Cinname, te iubes vocari.

  Cogis me calamo manuque nostra

  Consumpta est uno si lemmate pagina, transis

  Contigeris nostros, Caesar, si forte libellos

  Cotile, bellus homo es: dicunt hoc, Cotile, multi.

  Crispus, you’re always saying you’re the friend

  Cui legisse satis non est epigrammata centum

  Cui tradas, Lupe, filium magistro

  Cum dicis “Propero, fac si facis”, Hedyle, languet

  Cum me captares, mittebas munera nobis:

  Cum sitis similes paresque vita

  Cum vocer ad cenam non iam venalis ut ante

  Cunarum fueras motor, Charideme, mearum

  Cur, here quod dederas, hodie, puer Hylle, negasti

  Cur non mitto meos tibi, Pontiliane, libellos?

  De cathedra quotiens surgis—iam saepe notavi—

  Dear Lucius Julius, you often sigh

  Diaulus, recently physician

  Dicere de Libycis reduci tibi gentibus, Afer

  Dicis amore tui bellas ardere puellas

  Dicis formosam, dicis te, Bassa, puellam.

  Difficilis facilis, iucundus acerbus es idem:

  Discursus varios vagumque mane

  Disticha qui scribit, puto, vult brevitate placere.

  Dixerat “o mores! o tempora!” Tullius olim

  Does it surprise you, my dear poet friend

  Domitian’s banned our money dole. Adieu

  Donasti, Lupe, rus sub urbe nobis;

  Dotatae uxori cor harundine fixit acuta

  Dum levis arsura struitur Libitina papyro

  Dum te prosequor et domum reduco

  Dum tu forsitan inquietus erras

  Effert uxores Fabius, Chrestilla maritos

  Effugere non est, Flacce, basiatores.

  Egisti vitam semper, Line, municipalem

  Either get out of the house or conform to my tastes, woman.

  Emi seu puerum togamve pexam

  Epigramma nostrum cum Fabulla legisset

  “Esse quid hoc dicam vivis quod fama negatur

  Esse tibi videor saevus nimiumque gulosus

  Et delator es et calumniator,

  Famae non nimium bonae puellam

  “Fame is denied to living authors; few

  Festinat Polytimus ad puellas;

  Flaccus, the sort of girl I hate

  Flectere te nolim, sed nec turbare capillos;

  For ages you’ve been agonising, bothering me with the problem…

  For hours, for a whole day, he’ll sit

  For New Year, Postumus, ten years ago

  Frail book, although there’s room for you to stay

  Fugerit an Phoebus mensas cenamque Thyestae

  Galla, nega: satiatur amor nisi gaudia torquent:

  Galla, say no; for love, unless

  Galla, since you invariably fancy

  Garland of roses, whether you come

  Garris in aurem semper omnibus, Cinna

  Gemellus wants to marry Maronilla:

  Genus, Aucte, lucri divites habent iram:

  German, this is our aqueduct

  Go, book, to Rome. Asked where you come from, say

  “God doesn’t exist, there’s no one in the skies”,

  Habere amicam nolo, Flacce, subtilem

  Hanc tibi, Fronto pater, genetrix Flaccilla, puellam

  Have mercy on me, Rome—a hired

  Having had enough of early rising

  He buys up poems for recital

  He says he’s “sorry” that he failed to send

  Her women friends are all old hags

  Here, six years old, by Destiny’s crime

  Heredem tibi me, Catulle, dicis.

  Hermogenes steals napkins on the same scale as Massa…

  Hermogenes tantus mapparum, Castice, fur est

  He’s healthy—yet he’s deathly pale;

  Hesterna tibi nocte dixeramus

  Hic est quem legis ille, quem requiris

  Hic festinata requiescit Erotion umbra

  His master’s grief now, once his joy

  Hoc iacet in tumulo raptus puerilibus annis

  Hoc nemus, hi fontes, haec textilis umbra supini

  Hoping, Fescennia, to overpower

  Hormus, it’s thoughtful of you, not stuck-up

  Hyllus, how can you possibly say

  Hystericam vetulo se dixerat esse marito

  I angle for your dinner invitations (oh, the shame

  I should have thought you’d had your fil
l

  I wanted to love you: you prefer

  I warn you, fisherman, for your sake

  I was unwell. You hurried round, surrounded

  I wouldn’t like you with tight curls

  I wrote, she never replied:

  Iam parce lasso, Roma, gratulatori

  Iam senior Ladon Tiberinae nauta carinae

  Iam sex aut septem nupsisti, Galla, cinaedis

  If an epigram takes up a page, you skip it:

  If from the baths you hear a round of applause

  If memory serves, we’ve shared together

  If you and I, Julius, old friend

  If you were wise as well as rich and sickly

  If you’re poor now, my friend, then you’ll stay poor.

  If you’ve still room in your affections—

  Ignotos mihi cum voces trecentos

  In omnibus Vacerra quod conclavibus

  In one of my recent literary jokes

  Incustoditis et apertis, Lesbia, semper

  Issa est passere nequior Catulli

  Issa is naughtier than Catullus’ sparrow, Issa is more…

  Iuli iugera pauca Martialis

  I’ve often heard you called “man of the world”,

  Labulla has worked out a way to kiss

  Labullus, I court you

  Ladon, the boatman, in retirement bought a

  Laid with papyrus to catch fire

  Languebam: sed tu comitatus protinus ad me

  Languida cum vetula tractare virilia dextra

  Languidior noster si quando est Paulus, Atili

  Last night, after five pints of wine

  Last night, Fabullus, I admit

  Last week, the auctioneer was trying to sell

  Laudantem Selium cenae cum retia tendit

  Laudat, amat, cantat nostros mea Roma libellos

  Lector et auditor nostros probat, Aule, libellos

  Lesbia claims she’s never laid

  Lesbia se iurat gratis numquam esse fututam.

  Lesbia, why are your amours

  Livet Charinus, rumpitur, furit, plorat