by Holly Hart
That same darn question (“you still like him?”) has been killing me all day.
I needed to talk to my best friend, and the time zone wasn’t working in my favor. Eight hours later, I’m no closer to working things out.
“Yes. No. I don’t know,” I say all at once, the words tumbling into one another.
“Do you like him?” Frankie asks – the important question, as always.
“I do,” I say, surprising myself by nodding. “I really do. He makes me –.”
Something interrupts me. I’m not quite sure what it is at first. Then it becomes clear. It’s the rumble of the elevator in its shaft.
“– Smile,” I finish quietly, tailing off.
“What’s up?” Frankie asks. “You stopped.”
I stand up, thankful that I wore heels today. What I’m doing is crazy. It’s full-on, jilted-lover kind of stuff. “Shush,” I whisper.
I stand on tiptoes a little, and put my eye against the peephole in my front door.
The elevator pings. It’s too far down the corridor to see who’s climbing out. The phone is still pressed against my ear.
“Hey, Kim,” Frankie says in a stern tone, “Don’t shut me out. I know how highly you value trust, believe me – and I know why…”
I barely hear what she’s saying. I’m holding my breath, desperate to see if it’s him.
“… And I get that this guy broke that trust. Just keep me in the loop, okay? Tell me what you’re going to do.”
I see a shadow walking down the corridor.
“Frankie,” I whisper, “I’ll … I’ll get back to you, okay?”
“Kim, don’t you dare –.”
I tap the screen once, and toss the cell phone onto the carpet. I don’t even watch where it falls. I know Frankie will be spitting mad the next time I speak to her, but I’ll just cross that bridge when I come to it.
It’s Nate. I know it is. I’d recognize that messy blonde hair anywhere.
A torrent of different emotions wells up inside me: anger, for one; embarrassment, too. I still can’t believe how he left me: on my knees, with the salty taste of his cock still lingering on my tongue.
Anger wins.
I storm out of my apartment, not caring when the door clatters against the wall behind me. Without my heels on, I’m practically half Nate’s size. With heels, the situation is barely any better. Even so, little girls can pack a big punch.
“What,” I hiss, steaming with rage, “in the solar system were you thinking?”
Nate turns. In some far-off corner of my mind, I notice that he’s not moving as freely as he normally does. The rage I’m feeling overrides that observation.
“Kim –.”
He doesn’t get a chance to finish his excuse. Even if he could, I’m not in the mood to listen.
SLAP!
The sound echoes down the hallway. Nate’s face seems to react in slow motion. It reddens, and I realize with guilt that I’ve left a handprint on the right side of his face.
“What was that –?”
“How could you be such an ass,” I spit, still fuming. “What gives you the right to get me in a situation like that, and then just abandon me?”
The realization dawns on Nate’s face. It would be funny, if I wasn’t so mad. His mouth opens, and pinches the bridge of his nose. Even now, in the midst of a red mist, I can’t help but admire that jawline of his. It slopes to his chin, as hard and majestic as the Rockies.
“Kim, I’m –.”
“Sorry?” I finish for him. I don’t know what has come over me. I’m usually never this bold, but apparently it’s not just desire that Nate stirs in me; it’s a temper as well.
“You sure as twilight should be!”
Without realizing it, my hand is rising for a second slap. I’m hopping mad. I see Nate’s eyes flicker towards the movement. I swear, if he does something to stop me…
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he growls.
I take it as a challenge. “Oh, no?” I mock. “What are you going to do about it? Leave me on my knees?”
I slap him.
At least, I try. Nate catches my hand in a vice-like grip an inch from his face. I try to tug my hand back, but it may as well be stuck in concrete.
“I told you,” he growls again, “not to do that.”
I gulp. There’s a fire in his eyes now. It’s all kinds of sexy, terrifying, and primal. An electric charge of excitement runs up my spine.
“Are you going to apologize, then?” I ask. It doesn’t escape either of us that my voice is noticeably quieter than it was a moment before.
Nate’s eyes haven’t stopped moving since the second he caught my hand. They are sweeping across my body like he’s trying to memorize every inch. He looks like a man who has just stumbled out of the desert and found not only water, but his favorite steak restaurant on the other side.
“Apologize? For what?” Nate rumbles. He sounds more masculine than anyone I’ve ever heard. I was mad a second ago, but now…
Now I’m excited.
“You don’t know where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing, Kim,” he says, his jaw clenched. There’s a depth to him right now. He looks like the caretaker of a haunted house – one full of secrets. I wish I knew what was lurking beneath his swirling, thunderous expression.
“So what about it?” I retort, jutting my chin out proudly. “What are you going to do to me, Nate? Bend me over your knee?”
Because maybe I wish you would, I think. The thought startles me. It knocks me off balance. I can’t believe something like that came out of my brain.
Nate’s jaw muscles tighten, release, tighten, and release. He looks like he’s fighting some internal battle. I don’t have to wait long to find out which part wins.
Nate drives forward, carrying me with him. He shoves my body up against the nearest wall, and grabs my free arm, which he pins with the one that’s already captive above my head.
“Maybe I will, Kim,” he says, scraping his fingernails down my cheek. “Did your mother never tell you that it was rude to hit someone?”
I close my eyes. I need to hold it together. I can’t think about what happened to her, not now.
“It’s none of your stinking business,” I whimper. Not because of the hurt that memory washes back up, but because Nate’s got no idea how strong he is.
“What do you want me to do, Kim?” Nate asks. He runs his hands down my torso, and it leaves a trail of sparks.
I know exactly what I want him to do.
The old Kim would never have asked.
Then again, the old Kim would never have slapped a man twice her size.
I bite my lip. My breath comes out slowly, catching again and again. If I say what’s on my mind, it’s giving him permission to do…
To do whatever he wants. It’s a terrifying thought. But maybe it’s exactly what I need. Maybe, just for once, I don’t need to be in control.
Now, that is an exhilarating idea.
“Whatever you want,” I mutter, closing my eyes. My face immediately goes warm, like it’s facing up, underneath the first hot droplets from a shower.
“Louder,” he growls.
“Whatever you want!” I almost snap back. In the moment, I forget who and where I am. A pool of desire is growing inside me. It blocks out every ounce of common sense I’ve ever gained. It shrouds the old Kim and her reward of longing but not touching.
Nate leans in, until I can feel the heat of his lips against my ear. He whispers deep and low, “Good girl.”
I shiver with excitement when he says it. My breath is ragged and uneven in my chest. He’s so cool and calm, I can scarcely believe it.
Nate brings his hands down my side, and my breathing quickens. Without realizing it, I press my hips out, as if begging for him to take me.
“You know how much I love your curves?” Nate growls, his hand resting on my hip.
I shake my head. “Tell me,” I whisper.
; Nate grips my ass and pulls me towards him. He pushes his hips out, and I feel the bulge of his huge cock pressing against me.
“Do you understand now?” Nate whispers. He presses his lips against mine. It’s not just a kiss; it’s so much more. He devours me. I feel like he’s sucking all the air from my lungs. He picks me up and pushes me against the wall. To Nate, I’m weightless.
All I can feel is the heat of his cock. It’s pulsating against my hip. I know it needs to be inside me. It’s a primal urge.
“Inside,” I whimper as Nate’s hands caress every inch of my body. My skin’s burning up, and I need to see him naked, now.
My door is already open, and Nate effortlessly plucks me onto his hips and walks me inside, kicking the door closed behind him. He carries me to the bedroom, his stomach hard with the effort. I hold on as if for dear life. In reality, I just want to touch him.
Nate pushes me off him, and I land on the bed. The fall knocks the air out of my lungs. I look up at him, and suddenly realize: this is real.
I’m nervous. Should I tell him? Will it hurt?
I decide not to say a word. I know that with him, I can bear it.
Nate falls on top of me. He doesn’t waste a second. He bites my lip, and his hands start stripping me of clothing.
My skirt goes first, then my blouse and bra.
“No fair,” I moan as he presses his palm against my mound, “you have to strip as well…”
“My pleasure,” Nate growls. He sits up on his knees and rips a leather jacket from his shoulders. He looks good in it: harder, somehow. He pulls his T-shirt over his head. I bite my lip as I watch him reveal his powerful, defined core.
I thrust myself up in my elbows to kiss it, but he pushes me back. He pulls my panties off, dragging his fingernails down my leg as he does, then tossing them aside. Cool air licks at my folds, and I shiver. Nate runs his index finger the full-length of my pussy.
“You’re soaking…” Nate whispers, as if in awe.
“I’m ready.”
Saying those words provokes a fire in Nate’s eyes. He doesn’t stop moving now. His limbs are a blur of motion. I feel like I’m going to come the second he pushes his finger inside me. The anticipation, the desire, it’s all built up into this moment.
Nate unbuckles his belt. I close my eyes as the metal clinks. I let out a long breath, and it’s matched by the sound of his fly unzipping.
I hear the soft whoosh of the jeans puddling on the floor.
Then he’s naked. I feel Nate grab my hips; hear the unwrapping of a condom. Where did he get that? Do I really need to know? I don’t have time to ask. Truthfully, I don’t care.
Nate presses the tip of his cock against my pussy, and I arch my back with excitement. I’m trying as hard as I can to press him into me. My longing for this is overwhelming. I didn’t know how much I needed it.
It feels so incredibly out of this universe as Nate pushes himself inside me. Even the head of his cock is so big, it stretches me. I blink back a tear, but it’s the good kind of pain.
“Don’t stop,” I whisper. I don’t even know if he can hear me. “Whatever I say, don’t stop.”
“You look too fucking good to stop,” Nate growls. He pulls me by the hips, and suddenly there’s a burst of pain. I wince. I try not to let it show, but a hiss of air escapes my lips.
Even worse, Nate stops.
“I told you not –.” I start. But Nate’s too quick.
“Kim, are you a –,” Nate says. I’m embarrassed again. Even Nate can’t bring himself to say the word.
“A virgin,” I whisper, “yes.”
I feel Nate start to pull himself out of me. I feel empty without him. I grab the side of his stomach, take my nails and scrape them down his back. “Don’t you dare!” I say, my eyes flashing. “I want this. I want you.”
“So then you’ll have me,” Nate says, still looking unsure, “but not like this –.”
“Exactly like this,” I say. I’m still vibrating with tension. There’s no way I can let Nate stop here.
“Are you sure?”
My head falls back. I’m so frustrated, that what comes out of my mouth next surprises even me. “Nate… Just fuck me already.”
Nate does as he’s told.
Nate pushes into me slowly. The pain builds until I wonder if I’ll ever be able to bear it. It reaches a crescendo –
And then it disappears. I never thought … I never knew that this could feel so good. My pussy’s sparking with pleasure, clenching around Nate’s cock. I know that I’m not going to last long. I’m on the edge already.
Nate thrusts into me and his moans of pleasure sound incredible. It’s obvious how much he wants me. You can’t fake a sound like that.
My head falls back as he fucks me, and my skin explodes in a wall of fire.
I pull myself up against his body like I’m climbing a rope. I dig my fingernails in as the pleasure builds to breaking point. I’m hanging on for dear life.
“Jesus, Nate,” I groan, “right there!”
Nate thrusts into me so powerfully I gasp. My entire body jolts with an electric shock of pleasure. I close my eyes, and kiss his chest as he thrusts into me one last time.
It feels so good I can barely handle it.
I kiss his neck. My pussy clenches.
I bite the tattoo on his shoulder…
…then my world explodes.
19
Nate
I can’t believe Kim let me do that: take her virginity. It sounds sappy, but it felt like she was giving me a gift.
A gift I know I don’t deserve.
I look down at her. The dawn’s light is only just beginning to spill over the horizon, but the orange glow shines on her red curls, spilling out over the white pillowcase.
“Stop staring at me,” Kim groans, pressing her head against the pillow. Her tiny little hands dig into the sheets. I remember them wrapped around the base of my cock last night.
“Can’t,” I whisper, kissing the crown of her head, “won’t.”
“I look like a mess,” Kim mutters. Her voice is still raspy with sleep. I don’t care. To me, she looks perfect; sounds perfect; is perfect. I wouldn’t swap her for anyone in the world.
It’s hard to explain why. Somehow I feel like her innocence, it … hell, I don’t know. I never was good with emotions. Still, this one’s not muted, like the rest. It’s screaming out to be heard. There’s no denying it.
Kim is different. She fits with me better than anyone I’ve ever met. Not just physically – though her curves meet deliciously with mine. It’s like her naivety and innocence fills some gaping hole in my soul. I don’t know if I ever had what was supposed to fill that hole – or whether life stole it from me.
Somehow, for now, Kim is papering over the cracks.
“Stop playing around,” she says, her mouth still smothered by the bedding. “Tell me what time it is. After last night, I need to wash my hair.”
I groan. The idea of going to work today fills me with dread.
“Can’t we just call in sick?” I ask. “Maybe spend the day in bed? You’ve got a whole lot of,” I pause, dragging my tongue across my bottom lip, “learning to do.”
I roll over and tug the sheet from her naked body. Kim mewls as the cold air kisses her shoulders. “Put it back!”
I kiss the back of her neck, right at the top of her spine. Kim shivers, and I caress her shoulders. My fingers stroke her skin, and she jumps every time they move.
“Nate,” Kim whispers, though it sounds like she’s fighting a losing battle inside her head, “we don’t have time…”
“It’s six, Kiss. We’ve got all the time in the world.” I lay a trail of kisses down the smooth dotted line of her spine. I watch with delight as she trembles every time my lips meet her skin.
Kim, my Kiss, pushes herself upright. Her brilliant red hair falls like drapes and covers her face entirely. She grabs the pillow and hugs it to her chest, then turns and lie
s against my body.
“We don’t have time,” she says, correcting me, “because I can’t just stroll into work after running a hand through my head like you –.”
I cut her off. “Why not? You look beautiful.”
Kiss can’t hide the smile that tickles her lips. “To you, maybe. Besides,” she says, tucking enough of her hair behind her ear that I can see those fierce blue eyes of hers, “after last night, I’m not sure I’ll be able to walk straight for a week…”
