As much fun as I had with Jake tonight, I can’t help but feel guilty for being happy right now. I made a promise to love Jarrod forever and I feel like if I move on I am breaking that promise to him.
I'm sure it won’t take long for her to answer me. I flip through the channels and see that there are some football highlights on. I pause, I should probably get interested in it again so I can keep up with what is going on. They show a picture of Jake and start talking about his second year starting and how they think he will help the team grow. I am listening to what they are saying about how he is growing as a player when my phone pings for a new text.
Jo, you will always love Jarrod. Everyone knows that. But you know as well as I do that Jarrod would want you to be happy. Whether it is with Jake or someone else you deserve to love and to be loved again! No one would look at it badly or hold it against you for wanting that again. You know you deserve it…probably more than most people especially after the hell you have gone through the last couple years. Now go to sleep and stop worrying about what people will think and just enjoy what you did tonight…which I want details of tomorrow at breakfast!
I can’t help but laugh, but she is right. I do think Jarrod would want me to be happy again and would want me to move on if I found someone that was worthy of having my girls and I in their life. Well we will see if that is Jake or if he is just the first of more. Hopefully not many more if that is the case. I don’t know that I can handle this dating thing for very long. I am laying there watching more sports highlights and trying to keep my eyes open when my phone pings again.
I made it home
Well that’s good. Uneventful ride?
Yeah, compared to the night I had with you, nothing exciting
HAHA!! Good I'm glad. Oh yeah just an FYI, my neighbor thinks that you are a “very handsome young man”
OH YEAH! Is she cute?!?!
In the grandma standpoint…yeah adorable!
Oh…some competition for you??
If you like older women, sure I guess!!
LOL…Pretty sure no one but you has my eye right now
Why does he say stuff like that? I feel my face blush and I have no answer for him, but apparently he has more to add because my phone pings again.
I know you are blushing right now
JERK!!!
I know! So lunch tomorrow? Can I pick you up say noon?
Where are you going to take me where no one will see us?
Still embarrassed of me?
Jake, that’s not fair. You know if the wrong person saw us together it would be on the 5:00 news tomorrow.
I know, I am just teasing. I know the perfect place. I will pick you up at noon at your place.
Ok, what should I wear?
Well I like that cute pink dress you had on Thursday night, but whatever you feel like wearing. It will just be you and me
Ok, I will find something “cute” for you!
I look forward to seeing what you find. Now I have to go to bed, some of us have to work tomorrow. Good night!
Goodnight
Oh yeah, Jo…
What?
Have good dreams about me
I laugh and roll my eyes. I can never forget that the star football player is in there someplace at all times. I am sure he will always have something smart to say like that. I laugh and put my phone on the night stand. I turn off the TV and pull the blankets up and curl up. What a day! I hope that tomorrow has less excitement, I don’t know if I can handle that much excitement again. I have to remember to stop at the station tomorrow before I go to breakfast with Annie. I don’t think chief will have anything for me but I should find out just in case.
Chapter Three
I wake up to my phone ringing. I look over at the clock and see that it is 8:30 already. I never sleep this late. “Hello?” I answer without looking at who it is.
“Did I wake you up?” It is Annie.
“Yeah, but its fine. I should get moving anyways. I don’t usually get to sleep this late,” I smile at the thought of my mom getting up super early with the girls this morning.
“Ready for some breakfast?”
“Oh, yeah. Let me jump in the shower and get ready. I do have to stop at the station before I go to breakfast though. Where did you want to go?”
“Well I was thinking maybe Rose’s? We haven’t been there in a long time.”
“Sure sounds good. I could definitely go for one of their omelets. Should I text you when I leave the station and meet you there?”
“Yeah that works for me.”
“Ok, sounds good. Talk to you soon,” I hang up the phone. I don’t want to get out of bed but I know that I need to. I sit up and my legs and arms are still sore from moving yesterday, but I get up and get in the shower. I am thinking about my lunch date already and I am trying to decide if I should get dressed for that now, or after breakfast. I decide on after breakfast in case I have time to come back and do some more unpacking. I walk back into my bedroom and realize that I really need to get my room organized. It is a disaster. I can’t believe I let Jake up here last night. I have piles of clothes and boxes everywhere. I grab a pair of jeans and a t shirt and throw my hair up in a ponytail and walk down stairs. I grab some orange juice because it is pretty much the only thing in my fridge right now and out the door I go. Twenty minutes later I am at the station.
“I thought you were on vacation?” Officer Jones greets me with a smile at the front desk.
“Yeah, I decided to point my gun at the guy that broke into my house last night, so I may have some paperwork to do,” I smile at him.
“I heard,” he laughs. “Never a day off for you is there?”
“Hopefully I will get the rest of my two weeks in peace,” I smile and head toward Chief’s office. I knock on the door.
“Come in,” he says. I open the door and walk in. “Ah, there she is the girl of the day.” He smiles at me. “Good news, only a sheet for you and it has nothing to do with last night. Just some health insurance stuff,” he smiles and hands me a piece of paper. “All you have to do is sign it and get it back to HR. Something about getting you a new card I think.”
“Oh, good. And here I thought you were going to make me work on my vacation,” I joke with him.
“You made yourself work not me,” he laughs.
“Yeah I know, but I am glad it was my house and no one else’s.”
“So am I. It could have ended a lot worse than it did.”
I look at the paper he gave me. “I will read this over at my desk quick and hand it in before I leave.” I say and walk out of his office to my desk. I sit down and start reading it over. Chief was right they are issuing us new cards for insurance I sign it and I am just about to stand up.
“Hey partner,” Ryan walks up behind me.
“Hey Ryan, I thought you were off until Monday?” I look at him.
“Yeah, but Hailey had to go in for a little while this morning so I decided to come and clear off my desk. I will be super busy the next couple weeks while my partner is off having a blast.” He jokes.
“Wow, that’s a bummer. I hope you can get through that rough time.”
“So, how are you?” He sits at his desk and looks at me.
“I'm fine. Do I need to make a sign for everyone? I did my job it’s not like I am new at it.”
“Well you haven’t had to protect yourself for a long time, and you aren’t the edgy girl that you used to be so I didn’t know how you handled it.”
I look at him in disbelief. “Seriously?”
“Jo, you have too much to lose to be fearless like you were when you first started doing this job.”
“You know what Ryan; I have had a lot of shit happen in the last couple years. Did you ever consider that? I think before I do shit because my kids already lost their dad I think it might be heart breaking for them to lose their mom too! And as far as my job goes, I am pretty sure I proved last night that I can handle
it! Just because my job is dangerous doesn’t mean that I have to be careless about how I do it. I would like to live to see my kids grow up. You remember two years ago when my husband died doing his job? Think about that the next time you want to tell me I don’t have the edge to do my job anymore!” I am yelling at this point.
“Jo, is everything ok?” Chief is standing next to me.
“Yeah Chief, everything is fine,” I glare at Ryan. “I am leaving. See you in two weeks,” I say to Chief and turn and head toward the door. I do notice on my way out that people have stopped what they were doing and were listening to me yell at Ryan. I can’t believe him. I grab my phone out of my pocket and text Annie to tell her I am leaving. I get in my car and head toward Rose’s. As I am just about to turn into the parking lot I see the cemetery at the end of the street and I keep going. Before I realize it I am kneeling in front of Jarrod’s grave.
“I need you right now more than ever. I feel like my world is turning again! I just wish I knew what to do. I wish you were here to guide me like you always have. Life is testing me and pushing me to my limit right now. I love you I hope you know that. And I want to know that you are ok with me moving forward with my life and being happy again.” I just sit there staring down. “All I want is to know you are ok with the choices that I am making.”
“What choices are you making?” Bobby is standing behind me and scares me.
“Jesus Bobby, you scared the shit out of me!” I stand up and give him a hug.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“I know,” I look up at him.
“So, what do you need his approval for?” He puts his arm around my shoulders and looks down at Jarrod’s grave as I turn and look down too.
“So much.” I laugh. “I don’t know that I can make these changes by myself.”
“So don’t. You have a ton of people that are here for you Jo, you know that.”
“That’s not what I mean Bobby. I met someone.”
“Oh really?” He looks down at me a little surprised. “And you are worried he wouldn’t approve? Is the guy a jerk or something?”
“No, he is actually a great guy. But after a decade of being with someone that I love as much as I did Jarrod it is hard to accept that he would be ok with it.”
“Would he be able to take care of you and the girls?”
I laugh a little, “Without a problem.”
Bobby raises his eyebrows in question, “then I guarantee that Jarrod would approve. I know he would want you to be happy and have someone that can take care of the three loves of his life. So who is this guy?”
I smile, “I don’t know that I am ready to share that yet. We just met a couple days ago and had our first date last night, which by no question was probably one of the most interesting nights I have had in a long time.”
“Well, Jarrod was my best friend, pretty much my brother, and I know that he wants you to be happy no matter what. I know he wouldn’t want you to be alone just because he isn’t here anymore. In fact I am willing to bet he is up there saying go for it baby.”
I feel a tear run down my cheek and laugh, “you’re probably right. Thanks Bobby, I needed to hear that.”
“That’s what I am here for,” he hugs me again. I hear my phone ping for a message. It’s Annie.
“Crap, I have to go; I was supposed to meet Annie for breakfast ten minutes ago. Thanks again Bobby. We will get together soon.”
“I look forward to it. Tell Annie I say hi.”
“I will,” I turn and run to my car. I pull my car into the parking lot and look at myself in the mirror. I see how red my eyes are and tell myself to stop being so emotional about everything. I get out and walk into the restaurant. I see Annie sitting at a booth in the back.
“Hey,” she smiles as I sit down across from her. “I thought you would have beaten me here.”
“Yeah, I made a stop sorry.” I say quietly.
“Jarrod?”
“Yeah, and I was talking to him and Bobby showed up.” I look up at her. “Do you think I am not the same person as I was when he was here?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“Ryan told me when I was at the station that I am not the same person I was when I first got on the force.”
“Good lord, of course you’re not! No one would be. You lost your husband Jo. It’s not like your dog died and you can just find a new one and move on. You love him; he is the father of your kids. What does Ryan expect for you to cry for a day then go back to it?”
“I don’t know Annie; I feel like I don’t even know what I am doing anymore. The last two days have been crazy weird for me. I met someone new, I moved into a new place, and I had to pull my gun on a guy that broke into my house. A house where my children live.”
“Jodene Marie Lewis! Get it together! You are a great mom to those girls and would do anything to protect them; you are one of the best detectives on the force, and an awesome best friend. But I will kick your ass! You deserve to go on a date, and once and a while in your line of work you are going to have to pull your gun, it’s called a hazard of the job.”
I laugh, “Thanks for yelling at me.”
“You’re welcome, now, can we please eat? I am starving!”
“Yes, we can eat,” I smile at her. What would I do without her? Without anyone that has helped me the last couple days. Except for maybe Ryan, I am starting to see a dark side of him. And he is supposed to be my partner and have trust and faith in me at all times.
“What now?” She asks me after we are done ordering.
“What do you mean what now?”
“I see that look on your face, and it is a look of determination. What are you thinking about?”
“Ryan.”
“I'm not sure that I have ever liked him. He seems to only care about himself and where he is going to go and no one else. I mean look at him and Hailey. Together for five years and he still won’t ask her to marry him.” She grabs my hand, “please don’t let what he said have an impact on you. You’re good at your job. Everyone knows it. He is just pissed off because technically you are his boss and you have the pull in your job to demote him if you need to. He thinks that if he can play down on your lack of edge he will have the power to convince you to give up your title. Jo, I mean it.”
I look at her. Could she be right? Maybe he is after my job. “Well he isn’t getting my job; I don’t think anything could make me give it up. I am mostly concerned about the fact that other people at the station may think I am unable to do my job. I mean I lead an entire team, what if they lost faith in my ability to lead them?”
“Jo, don’t you think that if you were unable to do your job Chief Lorenz would tell you? He is the boss, and if he had any second guessing about what you are doing he would have told you so.”
“Yeah you would think so. Maybe it is time for me to look at other stations?”
“Jo, don’t let one asshole’s opinion chase you off. You know damn well that if you transfer you will never get back to where you are right now.”
“But if I am unable to make sure that my team is safe then what good am I at my position? It is my job to protect not only myself, but those around me. If they don’t think I can do it then who am I to continue in that position?”
“Jo, do me a favor?”
“What?” I look at her.
“Go talk to Chief Lorenz after we are done with breakfast. I don’t want you to get all worked up over something that someone, that doesn’t even matter, had to say about you.”
“Yes, I will. I forgot to leave my paper with HR anyway so I have to go back.” I look at her again. I see that question burning in her brain about last night. “Nothing happened last night,” I smile at her.
She smiles instantly, “ok so we are going to change to something good now! I want to know everything!”
“Annie, nothing happened,” I laugh at her. I end up going through everything that happened with Jake until our breakfas
t arrives. “And before he left he kissed me on the cheek. Annie, I got instant butterflies. It is so crazy how much I like him. And did I mention how great he looked? I seriously don’t know anyone that is as good looking as he is.” I am just about to take a bite of my omelet when my phone starts ringing. I look at it and smile, “Hi.”
“Well hello,” it is Jake. “How are you this morning?”
There is that stupid teenage smile again, “I'm good. Sitting having breakfast with Annie.”
“Oh, the friend that I like?”
I giggle, “Yes that would be the one,” I look over at her and she is trying to figure out what I am talking about. “I thought you had practice this morning?”
“I do, just got done with drills now we are waiting for the coaches to have play meetings. I just wanted to call and see how you are and tell you that I am excited to see you at lunch.”
“I'm pretty excited too. I have had a pretty crappy morning and could use some fun.” Annie sticks her tongue out at me.
Unexpected Love (Jo's Story) Page 6
